Disclaimer: see chapter 1.

Folded Wings

By Random1377

Chapter 21

Sterile white greeted Shinji as he opened his eyes, the last lingering images of his confinement induced visions fading as he slowly came to full consciousness. I lived after all, he thought, blinking several times to clear the bleariness from his eyes. How strange… I never thought I'd be happy to see this stupid hospital room.

He lifted his hand into his field of vision, curling and uncurling it a few times to see if he could. Everything seemed to be in order, and actually, he felt much better than he had in weeks. To be blunt, he felt reborn, or more accurately – remade.

Just how true this idea was, he would not find out until much later.

Taking a deep breath, he pulled himself upright and nearly cried out in surprise as he found the seat next to the bed occupied by the girl he had chosen to save in the last battle.

"Ayanami."

"Ikari."

"I'm home."

"…welcome home."

It was an oddly formal exchange, but Shinji really did not know what else to say. Hikari, he thought suddenly, Asuka said she made out with Hikari…

He wasn't sure why this occurred to him just then – there were so many other things he could have thought about instead – but he found that as soon as he thought of Rei kissing the class rep, he could not look directly at her.

"How long?" he whispered, forcing himself to break the uncomfortable silence that had fallen between them before it grew impenetrable. "How long was I gone, Ayanami?"

"Thirty-three days," Rei replied softly, hesitating for a moment before adding, "I… missed you."

Shinji managed to meet her eyes. "I'm sorry I left," he said quietly. "It feels like I was only gone for a couple hours."

As Rei could not really relate, she simply hummed, "Mm."

Silence fell again, and Shinji found that he could not hold Rei's gaze.

Is Asuka ok? he thought, fidgeting with his blanket as Rei simply regarded him in silence. She was so… so angry with me, and we were supposed to be going out. Well, hell, Ayanami and me were supposed to be going out too, but we never really did anything.

"Mister Kaji is gone."

Shinji lifted his head. "Gone?" he echoed. "You mean he moved, or he was transferred, or…"

Rei slowly shook her head as he trailed off. "He is gone, Shinji… he will not be returning."

"Oh…"

Shinji did not know what to say. Gone, he thought sadly, and Rei lived with him, so it can't be a mistake… God, Asuka must be going crazy. He clenched his eyes closed. That's the second time I've thought of Asuka.

At his side, Rei shifted in her seat. "I am… glad that you are back…"

Forcing a smile, Shinji whispered, "I'm glad I made it back." He opened his eyes, finding Rei rising to her feet and smoothing out the back of her skirt. "You're going, then…?"

"I need to inform Major Katsuragi that you are awake," Rei said quietly. "She has been working very hard towards your return, and asked to be notified as soon as you awoke."

Before he could stop himself, Shinji blurted, "What about Asuka?"

Rei hesitated – an odd sight, considering who she was – before murmuring, "She has been temporarily removed from active duty."

"No," Shinji breathed. "She… they can't do that – it'll kill her, she loves being a pilot!"

"It has been in effect for some time now, Shinji," Rei informed him. "She has… adjusted to it, I believe."

So much time, Shinji thought suddenly, I was gone for so much time…

"…may I kiss you, Shinji?"

Shinji's head whipped up so fast he cracked his head on the wall behind him. "Ow," he winced, rubbing the back of his skull ruefully. "Did you… just ask to kiss me?"

"Yes," Rei said quietly, "I did."

"Oh, umm… ok…"

Closing his eyes, Shinji tilted his head back and waited. From the kisses he had experienced so far, he expected to feel Rei's lips crushing violently against his, and possibly her tongue shoving its way into his mouth.

This'll be my third, he thought suddenly, tensing as Rei put her hands on his shoulders. Third kiss, third girl… well, Hikari doesn't REALLY count, she didn't mean it.

He opened his eyes in surprise as he felt Rei's lips pressing gently against his mouth, staying in place for only a moment before slowly pulling away.

"Thank you."

"Yeah," Shinji whispered, fighting the urge to touch his lips, "sure."

Silently, Rei gave a small bow and turned around, walking out without looking back, leaving Shinji staring in mute wonder as she left the room.

( 0 0 0 )

"He is? Yes, yes thank you for telling me… ok, bye…"

Asuka stared down at her homework, her eyes moving passively over the words on the page without really absorbing them as Misato hung the phone back on its base and turned to face her.

"He's up?" the Second asked, taking great pleasure in stealing the stupid smile from the older woman's face.

"Yeah," Misato said flatly. "I'm going to see him… but I'm guessing you'll be staying here, right?"

Turning the page – though she had not learned a single thing from the previous one – Asuka muttered, "Do I have any reason to go?"

Misato shrugged into her flight jacket, making sure her hair wasn't trapped between the heavy leather and her shirt before she replied to Asuka's question. "No," she said softly, "I guess you don't… but if you want to, I wouldn't mind the company."

"See you when you get back."

"…right."

Misato headed into the bathroom before leaving, a habit she had developed since her sudden desire to binge on coffee had kicked in, leaving Asuka to stare at her schoolbook. "She ever do that?"

Asuka shivered as a memory of her kiss with Shinji echoed in her mind. Closing her textbook, she drummed her fingers on the cover, staring blankly at the sink, her mind providing an image of the Third glancing back at her over his shoulder, asking if she wanted seconds as he slid his own dishes into the sink.

Shinji, she thought aimlessly, would you even know me if you saw me on the street?

Slowly, she reached up and ran her hands through her unfettered hair. The A-10 connectors that had nearly defined her life now sat on her dresser, set aside but not forgotten – never forgotten – a memento of a time when her life had meaning and direction.

She had changed herself after being kicked out of the EVA program – that's what had happened to her, she didn't care what Akagi said about it being a 'temporary suspension.' If she was looking through a time machine from the past, she doubted that she would have recognized herself sitting at the table. Blonde, chin-length hair, green contacts, minimalist makeup… no, even her grandmother wouldn't have recognized her.

Running her hand through her hair once more, she whispered, "You should have chosen me."

When Misato reached the front door, Asuka was waiting patiently with her purse – another new feature of her 'post-EVA' look – in one hand and her textbook in the other.

"I can study just as well in a hospital room as I can here," she said coolly.

"He's just woken up," Misato said sharply, "do not attack him."

Asuka managed a thin, sarcastic smile.

"Yes ma'am."

The ride to the hospital was uneventful and nearly silent, with only the hum of the engine to fill the empty space between the two women. After her breakdown, Asuka had requested a transfer from Misato's apartment, but the older woman wouldn't hear of it, telling her that it would be best to be near people she knew until she recovered… though Asuka knew the truth.

Misato just didn't want to be alone.

Selfish cow, she thought, casting the woman a sideways glance as they showed their IDs to the on duty nurse in the NERV infirmary. I should have run away like Shinji always used to – then you really WOULD be all alone.

Running, of course, was not an option – not just because she had too much pride, but because Section Two would have her back and in shackles before she got five miles out of town. She may have a 'persistent mental block' preventing her from piloting, as Ritsuko had explained it, but she was still a potentially useful tool to NERV… and besides, with her intimate knowledge of the facility's inner workings, any subversive or terrorist group with a grudge would kill to have her in their possession.

Fortunately for NERV, all Asuka had on her mind was getting back into the pilot's seat.

"Is there a problem?" she asked flatly, giving the woman behind the desk a hard stare as she examined Asuka's ID.

"No ma'am," the nurse said, passing the plastic card back to the girl, "I was just thinking that you look better as a redhead."

Asuka's lips compressed to a thin line. "Yeah, whatever," she muttered, taking her card and shoving it into her pocket. "God, let's get this over with."

Without waiting for Misato, she stalked off down the hall, coming to Shinji's room and pushing the door open to find the boy just pushing his lunch tray aside. "Umm… hello," he said uncertainly, clearly trying to place her as she threw herself into the seat on the far side of the room and cracked her textbook open.

"Shinji!"

A moment later, Misato was in the room, making a spectacle of herself and doting on the young man as Asuka pretended to study. Stop embarrassing yourself, she thought as Misato gushed over how good it was to have him back. You sound like his mother.

Her ears perked up as she caught Shinji's hesitant whisper of, "Who is she…?"

Dork, she thought, grinning behind her book as Misato glanced over to her, don't even recognize your own-

"Is she Ritsuko's sister or something? She looks just like her."

Asuka's smile collapsed.

"…idiot."

Misato, who could not stop herself from bursting out laughing at the look of shock on Shinji's face, excused herself from the room, murmuring tactfully that she was sure the two had things to catch up on.

"Stop staring," Asuka muttered as soon as the door had closed, "you look stupid with your eyes all bugged out like that."

"S-sorry," Shinji stuttered, "you just look… different."

Asuka set her textbook aside. "Well it has been a month, you know," she said smoothly. "One month… a whole third of the entire time you've known me, and you slept right through it."

"Well, I wasn't really sleeping," Shinji mumbled awkwardly, "I was… I don't even know what I was, but it wasn't like sleeping."

"Disincorporated," Asuka said succinctly. "That's the word Ritsuko used to describe what happened to you. Your body was broken up into primordial soup inside the plug," she waved a hand dismissively, "it's more complicated than that, but it would take me hours to explain it to you. It's enough to know that you were gone and now you're back."

"Right…"

Asuka leaned back in the chair, throwing one arm over the back and eyeing Shinji from across the room. "Yup," she said calmly, "gone away… locked in a little box while the rest of us had to suffer out here. Must be nice to be able to just get away from it all every now and then."

"It… it wasn't like that," Shinji said slowly. "I was… kind of aware, but-"

"I don't really care," Asuka told him, shrugging as he stared at her. "You know what I do care about?"

"Ummm what?"

Asuka's tinted eyes bored into Shinji's.

"I care that the guy I was supposed to be going out with left me to die on the battle field."

Shinji flinched. "Asuka, I-"

Raising a hand, Asuka cut him off. "You have a lot to make up for," she told him bluntly.

"I know," Shinji whispered, unable to meet her gaze, "I know I do. You have to know that I wanted to save you both, though – you have to know that!"

"What I know," Asuka said coolly, "is that when the chips were down, you chose her over me." She rose to her feet, walking slowly to the bedside and taking great satisfaction in seeing him shrink back against his pillow. "Calm down, freak," she muttered, "I'm not going to hit you."

Shinji nodded as the girl sat down on the edge of the bed, facing away from him and resting her hands on her knees as silence fell between them.

It took him several minutes to gather up the courage to whisper, "How can I make it up to you, Asuka…?"

Asuka stared at the backs of her hands, running through the most hurtful ideas she had come up with over the past month. He deserves to hurt, she thought angrily. He's the reason I've lost everything!

Taking a deep breath to calm herself, she lifted her head. "You can start by breaking up with Rei."

There was a long, terribly uncomfortable silence.

"…no."

Asuka nodded.

She had expected this reaction, if not his quiet, sure attitude. It was worth a try, she thought, undeterred. It's pretty clear that she's the one he really likes – he just 'agreed' to be with me.

The fact that asking him to be with her had been part of an elaborate plot to get Kaji's affections no longer mattered. What mattered was that they were involved… and that currently, Asuka had very few things she could call her own.

"Don't bring her over when I'm home."

"Ok."

"And don't tell anyone we're going out before I tell them."

There was a slight pause before Shinji murmured, "You still want to go out…?"

Asuka turned to look at him over her shoulder. "You don't?"

"No, I do," Shinji said quickly, "I just… I didn't think you would want to."

Abruptly, Asuka leaned back, lying across Shinji's stomach and throwing an arm over her eyes.

"You'll do for now."

Shinji nodded, watching as the girl simply lay still for a few moments, wondering what was going on in her mind. His eyes wandered to her hair – so different from the last time he had seen her. And her eyes, too, he reminded himself. She looks like a whole other person… even her voice sounds different.

"Stop staring at me, idiot."

Blinking, Shinji looked quickly to Asuka's face, but her arm was still over her eyes.

Softly, he smiled.

She's still Asuka, though…

Slowly, he lifted his hand, placing it lightly on Asuka's stomach and feeling her muscles tense under his palm.

"I'll try not to disappoint you anymore."

Nodding behind her arm, Asuka put her free hand on top of his. "Prove it," she said flatly. "Kiss me."

"Al-alright."

Shinji waited for her to move her arm, but when it became clear that she wasn't going to, he took a deep breath and pushed himself up to a sitting position, making her slide down onto his lap and bending down awkwardly to give her a kiss. When he tried to pull back, however, Asuka's hand shot up, wrapping around the back of his head and keeping his lips against hers for another two minutes.

"Ok," Asuka muttered, finally letting him go, "now get off me."

Raising his head, Shinji felt his cheeks flushing bright red. He wanted to ask if that was alright, but Asuka still had her eyes covered, so he simply watched her for several minutes until he realized that her breathing had grown deep and even.

Taking a deep breath, he eased himself back down, keeping his hand on her stomach and staring up at the ceiling. Since he had just gotten up, he did not feel like sleeping, so he simply thought about how much more complicated his life had just become. When Asuka stirred from her slumber after a half hour and murmured for him to move over so she could lie down properly, Shinji barely even nodded, scooting to the side to make room for her to curl up at his side.

Well, he thought, deciding that since he had nothing else going, he might as well join her for a nap, I guess we'll just see what happens next, won't we?

Several moments later, he was asleep with Asuka's arm draped comfortably across his chest… though when he dreamed, he dreamed of Rei.

Continued…