Disclaimer: see chapter 1.

Folded Wings

By Random1377

Chapter 26

Rei pulled her plug suit a bit tighter on her hand, pressurizing it before rising to her feet and closing her locker door. Another angel… which meant there would only be one more, and it would be time for her to fulfill her obligation.

Complementation, she thought, walking slowly towards the locker room exit. I have never questioned its necessity – nor may I now… but I hope it will not cause pain to those I care for.

It was a strange idea, she realized, to be concerned over physical pain when she would be unifying all mankind into a single, flawless being, but Rei was, for the time, still human.

And what could be more human than concern for another?

But there are other considerations first, she told herself, I must not lose track of what is currently before me – that is what Mister Kaji was telling me, I believe. Time will not turn backward… so I must savor each moment as if-

Her thoughts were cut off with all the brutality of a murderer claiming a life as she opened the locker room door and found herself face to face with a twisted reflection of her own face.

"What's the matter?" the reflection asked softly, mimicking her vocal patterns nearly perfectly, "you look like you've seen a ghost."

Giving herself a mental shake, Rei murmured, "What is the meaning of this…?"

The blue-haired imposter smiled faintly. "Is that anger, First?" she whispered, widening her red-contacted eyes slightly in surprise. "I didn't think you programmed for that."

Rei pursed her lips. "I… do not find this amusing, Souryu," she whispered, "please step aside."

She even stole one of my plug suits…

"No need to be so hostile," Asuka whispered. "I just came to wish you luck, Wondergirl… I am your backup on this mission, you know."

Looking for a way to get around the other girl, Rei murmured, "I see. Then… good luck."

"Oh, now you didn't mean that," Asuka said, sounding hurt, "here… give me a hug. Show me you mean it." When Rei immediately took a step back, Asuka smiled. "Weird, isn't it?" she whispered, advancing on the First and taking great pleasure in watching her retreat until her back was against the row of lockers directly opposite the locker room door. "It's one thing to go on and on about how replicable you are… but it's another to see it face to face. Take a good look, First – this is what being replaced looks like. This is what you are to me."

And finally… Rei understood. She honestly, truly understood the Second Child for the first time since they had met.

"It was not… my doing," she said awkwardly. "I was the First."

"Yeah," Asuka said coolly, "and I'm the Second, I get the idea… but no matter how I tried, no matter what I did, you and Shinji are the ones that get the praise. This," she pointed to her dyed hair, "is what I see when I wonder who's going to pilot Unit 02 when they replace me. This," she pointed to her contacts, "is what looks back at me in the mirror when I ask myself who Shinji really likes. It's always been you. You've always been the one that I had to beat, and until now I haven't been able to."

She smiled suddenly, and it made Rei shiver.

"But I haven't given up," she said brutally, "That's what's different about us, you know. You told Shinji you're replicable – but I'm not, goddamn it… and I know it." She brought her face close to Rei's, making the other girl flinch minutely. "You may be the one that everyone tries to protect," she whispered flatly, "but you'll never be a tenth of the person I am, because I would never ever think that I can be replaced."

Though her hair was now too long to toss, Asuka moved her head as if it was still down to her shoulders, turning away from Rei and letting her know that she had been dismissed.

As she reached the door, however, she was brought up by a softly whispered, "You're right…"

"Excuse m-"

"I am worthless," Rei said, keeping her eyes on the floor as Asuka turned to face her. "I am replicable and I only have one reason to exist… but I am trying to change. I know there is more to living than merely existing, Souryu, and I envy your confidence. I… perhaps it is meaningless to you now, but I do wish, when we had first met… that I had accepted your offer."

"Well… well that boat's sailed," Asuka mumbled, too confused by this sudden outpouring of emotion to generate any real rage. "The offer's retracted."

"…yes, I know."

"Yeah," Asuka said, "so, umm… bye…"

To her surprise, Rei let out a soft, mirthless laugh.

"Do not say goodbye when you leave on a mission," she said quietly, sounding as if she was quoting from the bible, "it is… too sad…"

Asuka waited for a full minute to see if the First would have anything else to say… but nothing more passed between them but silence.

( 0 0 0 )

How, Shinji wondered as he stared up at his ceiling, could things have gone worse than they already had? He could still hear Maya's announcement that Unit 00's self-destruct system had been engaged, overlapping in his mind with Asuka's pitiful groan that, 'It won't move… it just won't move.'

And he could not save either.

Asuka's door is locked, he thought tiredly. And Rei… Rei's gone…

Clinically, he wondered if there would even be ashes to bury.

"Misato," he whispered as the door to his room slid open, "I can't cry. I want to, but the tears won't-"

"I'm not Misato."

Shinji sat up, blinking in surprise as he found Asuka standing in his doorway. It was not the fact that she was there that demanded his attention – though considering the fact that she had not spoken to him since the day he had made pancakes for her, it was a bit unusual… no, what caught his eye was the violent streaks of pink in her once-again blonde hair and the return of the amber contacts she had worn the day Misato told her she could still potentially pilot.

Can't make up her mind, he thought suddenly. Doesn't know what she wants to be… doesn't know WHO she wants to be…

"Crying for your dolly, Third Child?"

Shinji winced as if Asuka had slapped him across the face. "Don't call her that," he whispered sullenly. "She's… she's gone now, you don't have to be mean…"

Asuka's eyes were unreadable as she entered the room and leaned up against Shinji's wall. "She was too slow."

"What?"

"I've been thinking about the fight," Asuka said calmly. "She was too slow. If she'd dodged it, it wouldn't have taken Unit 00 and she'd still be al-"

"Don't say it!"

"She'd still be alive."

Shinji rose jerkily to his feet. Mechanically, he marched to his door and slid it shut so Misato wouldn't hear what he was going to say.

"Don't you ever, ever say anything bad about her again," he whispered unevenly. "She was a good person… she didn't deserve to die."

"Maybe she did," Asuka replied flatly. "If you don't protect yourself, aren't you asking to be killed? If she was so good… if she was so good, did she ever tell you she loved you, Third?"

Shinji squeezed his hands into fists. "Stop talking about her," he murmured, blinking angrily as his eyes started to tear up. "I know you hated her, but you don't have to be that cruel!"

But Asuka continued speaking.

"Maybe if she had… that little cold spot in your stomach would have warmed up. You know the one I'm talking about, don't you? That little place you can never get warmed up, no matter how many happy thoughts you think. If your precious First had actually loved you, then-"

"I said don't talk about her!"

The drywall next to Asuka's head gave easily to Shinji's rage, a round, jagged hole appearing in it as he drove his fist past Asuka's cheek.

Asuka never even blinked.

"Ah, damn it!" Shinji cried, yanking his fist back and cradling it against his chest.

She really is gone, he thought suddenly, thankful that there were tears of pain to hide the ones he was finally shedding for the First Child. I'll never see her again… I'll never hold her again… I'll never get to talk to her again… she's gone – just like that! I'm…

His thoughts trailed off as Asuka reached out, wrapping her hands around his wrist and pulling his injured hand closer to her face. For several long minutes, she examined his knuckles, studying the broken skin and running her fingertips along the surface to feel for any breaks. The pain was excruciating, but Shinji didn't say a word, keeping his attention on her face the whole time.

"Idiot."

Shinji swallowed, holding his breath as the Second lifted his hand to her mouth, touching her lips to the injury for a moment before gently laying his palm against her cheek.

"You should have hit me."

Frowning, Shinji whispered, "Why?"

Asuka looked directly into his eyes as she replied, "If you had, I might have respected you."

In an instant, they were kissing. It was nothing like any kiss Shinji had ever experienced – even with her. This was not gentle or playful or coy… this was pure hunger and desperation, a struggle for dominance that neither of them seemed willing to surrender. For every time Asuka pushed, Shinji pushed back. When she tangled her hand in his hair, he put his hand on her back and yanked her up against him. When he tried to push his tongue into her mouth, she bit it and chased it back into his mouth with hers.

Ultimately, Shinji's slight weight advantage tipped the scales, forcing Asuka back up against the wall, where he pinned her arms at her sides and held her tight, sucking aggressively on her tongue as a tiny mewl of pain escaped her lips.

Shinji's cell phone began to ring, but he ignored it. If it was an angel attack, Misato would have to come get him… because there was no way he was surrendering the upper hand now.

"Shinji."

Shut up, Shinji thought angrily, completely lost in what he was doing. Just shut the hell up. I don't care if there IS an angel attacking… they can have it, damn it, they can have the whole damn planet for all I care! Just let me have SOMETHING that doesn't get taken away from me the second I know it's mine!

"Shinji open up – this is important."

The excitement in Misato's voice finally broke through the haze of passion in Shinji's mind, forcing him to break away and growl, "What? What's so damn important?"

Even Asuka looked slightly taken aback by this outburst… though just slightly, and when Misato hesitated before replying, Asuka pulled Shinji's lips back to hers, refusing to let him escape.

"It's… it's Rei," Misato said finally, her voice sounding as if she was standing right outside his door. "They found her, Shinji – she's not dead. Can you hear me? Rei's alive."

"N-no!"

Shinji felt as if ice-water had been dumped over his head. "She's ali-"

"No," Asuka repeated frantically, holding on to Shinji's shirt as he tried to pull away. "Don't… don't leave me – God, not now!"

"But she's alive," Shinji whispered frantically, "she's alive, Asuka!"

Asuka's bottom lip trembled as she tightened her grip on his clothes. "You stupid asshole," she sobbed. "So am I!"

Shinji swallowed at the sheer, jagged agony in the girl's voice. Slowly, he slipped his arms around her shoulders, pulling her gently up against him as he called out, "Misato? Can you give me a couple minutes to get ready?"

They could practically hear Misato thinking before she murmured, "Sure, Shinji, and… and tell Asuka that she's welcome to come, too… if she wants…"

"I will…"

Before Misato's footsteps had finished moving away from the door, Asuka unevenly whispered, "I'm not going."

Shinji nodded. "Will you be here when I get back?"

Asuka swallowed, keeping her eyes on the floor as she pulled away from him.

"I don't know…"

His shoulders slumping, Shinji could think of nothing else to say but, "I'd… really like it if you were."

Folding her arms, Asuka just stared at the floor.

Continued…