Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Knights or any of the characters in it! ...Not that you would've believed me if I said I did, but...
Warning: Boys turned into girls. Swearing. Minor violence. Not-quite-G-rated-humor. Please don't kill me for my comment about rape. Nothing in this fic is meant to be offensive, so please don't flay me alive!! Please, please, please, please, please, please! It was mentioned once. Just to drive home a point, I might add. I know it wasn't very PC, but then, nothing in here IS. Please don't hurt me...::begs::
::n::
Bare feet padded down chilly hallways, stepping in time with the soft clink of heels. A giggle rippled through the air, followed by an exasperated voice.
"Stop it."
"But--"
"Stop it."
"Yeah, but--"
"STOP IT."
Ceisa looked at the face of the glowering Elf, and ducked her head, laughter rippling through her body once again.
Rune sighed. This was how the past ten minutes had went, and he didn't see any end in sight.
Slinking back to join Rath and Thats in sulking, he left Cesia ahead to lead them to her private chambers.
He ran a hand irritably over his still slightly throbbing temples. How was he going to explain this to the Dragon Lord?
"Lord Lykouleon? Rath and Thats printed out a pornographic picture of me, so I went Xerox and accidentally turned us all into women. Sorry about not being able to defend the castle and all that, but since we no longer fit our custom-made armor, we'd be flayed alive at the first barrage of demons."
"Raped."
Rune jumped: he hadn't realized he'd been talking out loud.
"What?" he turned to look at the Knight next to him.
"Raped," Thats repeated, his face set in a stoney scowl.
"We won't get flayed alive. We'll get kidnapped, stripped, and tied up in positions that definitely are not holy," he let those words sink in, then continued.
"I mean, if you had said attack of humans, then yes, we would get flayed. Probably very painfully. But since you said demons, and demons tend to be more sexually active--"
Rune cut him off quickly.
"Shut up. I get it."
Thats fell quiet, letting the air sink back into it's sticky silence.
"...And then if they get us knocked up--"
"Shut. Up."
::n::
Lykouleon looked down the long table, stacked high with plates and dishes, all of which contained various delicious looking and tasting culinary masterpieces. There was an unusually large number of people seated there. All of the officers were at the castle that night, as Tetheus was still preparing for his upcoming trip to Cezzare to check out a recent demon attack, and Kai-Stern had just returned to the castle a few hours prior. In addition, Zoma had been talked into joining them for dinner, an event that he was still not quite comfortable attending without an invitation. However... The Dragon Lord furrowed his brow. There were four very important people missing.
"Raseleane?" he turned to face his queen, "Do you know where Cesia or the Knights are?"
Raseleane shook her head, glancing at the empty chairs in the middle of the table.
"I spoke to Cesia less than fifteen minutes ago, she said she would be a little late, as she was going to take the garden path. I don't know where the Knights could be, however."
"Strange." Lykouleon looked at their seats again, "It's not like them to miss a meal."
::n::
Cesia closed her door behind them, locking it securely, before turning back to face the three boys-turned-girls. About to giggle, she caught herself, and spoke instead.
"What sizes are you?"
There was a dead silence as all three of them turned varying shades of red.
"Well," Thats broke the awkward pause, "I was fi--"
"No! Oh, God, no!" Cesia waved frantically, "That's not what I meant! Geeze!" she drew her hand down her face, "Guys have such one-track minds! What I meant was," she crossed past them to her closet, "What size clothing do you wear?"
Rath shrugged, "How would we know? We don't normally turn ourselves into girls for fun."
"We don't, dunno about you," Thats muttered in the black-haired Knight's general direction.
Cesia ignored their comments, looking each one of them up and down.
"Well," she scanned them again, "I think I might have clothing that could fit you three. At least temporarily." She spun around, digging through her closet for suitable articles of clothing.
"Wait," Rune said, panicking slightly, "We're going to wear your clothes?"
"For the time being," Cesia shoved a black dress to the side, removing a sheer skirt hidden behind it and looking at it consideringly, "We'll go get you some real clothes tomorrow, but you'll need something to wear until then."
"But we'll be staying in the castle! Can't we just stay in our regular clothes?"
"Sure," the fortuneteller rolled her eyes, "If you don't mind walking around like that," she waved a hand at their ill-fitting garments.
"Well..."
"Oh, come on!" she snapped, "Do you really think you can wear that? Rune, those pants are at least four inches too long! Thats, you're practically busting out of that thing! And Rath..." she took at good look at the last Knight, "Ok, that actually more-or-less fits you. But still!" Cesia glared at them, whirling around to dig through her closet again, "We need to get you three some better clothes!"
Continuing her rant in a low mutter, she took a step back, a small pile of material in her arms.
"Here, Thats, I want you to try this on."
She tossed a long black dress with a full skirt and an adjustable waist at the Knight of Earth.
"What? Don't you have any pants or something?" he complained.
Cesia sent him a skeptical look.
"Yes, I do, but I really do not think they will fit you."
She demonstrated by retrieving a pair of white and red capris and holding them up to her hips, eyeing the other's dubiously.
"Well, I'd to least like to try them before this thing."
Thats snatched the pants and strode off to Cesia's bathroom, closing the door behind him.
The fortune teller rolled her amber eyes.
"Idiot. Now, Rune, I think you will fit my tops, more or less, but the waist--" she was cut off by a loud crash from inside the bathroom, a cry of pain, and a scuffling noise.
"--Line may be a little tight. So why don't you try on this shirt for now, and I'll look for a skirt that--" her words were cut short for a second time as the adjourning doors slammed open and Thats stalked out, seething, and wearing a long silken dress.
"So, Thats, you--"
"Nobody. Say. A word."
Rath closed his mouth, turning to Cesia instead.
"Um, so what am I going to wear?"
Cesia grinned, turning back to her closet.
"Lady Raseleane was right. This is fun!"
She retrieved a red tank and handed it to the Knight.
"Here. Try this on, along with those pants that didn't fit Thats."
She shoved him towards the bathroom, and placed a beige skirt in Rune's hands.
"Put that on. Try this too," she casually tossed a loose blouse at him.
"Tell me which one fits better, ok?"
The Elf followed his friend into the bathroom, walking in a wide circle around the glowering Earth Dragon Knight.
The door closed behind him, and Cesia started straightening the remaining items in her closet.
"So, how did you--"
"Shut. Up."
::n::
"Cernozura," the dark haired queen spoke to her friend, "Could you do me a favor?"
"What is it?" the castle administrator's light eyes darted from the queen to the lord and back questioningly.
"Dinner is almost over, and there is still no sign of either the Knights or Cesia," Raseleane explained, "Lykouleon and I have a meeting to attend after this, but we were wondering if you would be able to drop by their rooms briefly, just to see if they are all right."
Cernozura forced herself to smile brightly.
"Of course, your majesty."
I'm perfectly willing to make time in my busy schedule of running the castle to search for four missing persons.
"I don't have anything I must attend to immediately after this meal."
Except for clearing away the dishes, cleaning up the kitchens, doing a basic security sweep of the lower regions of the castle, and making sure that the maids actually do go to bed and that they don't sneak out to party with the Dragon Fighters from block 13.(1)
"So I'd be happy to search for them in your place."
Bite me.
::n::
"Cesia?" Cernozura knocked on the young fortune teller's door.
"Cesia, are you in there? The Lord and Lady were looking for you."
There was no response.
"Cesia?"
She sighed exasperatedly.
More searching. What fun. What high class entertainment.
About to leave, the Castle Administrator suddenly heard the muffled slam of a door and the voice of the part-demon girl.
"Cernozura? Give me a second..."
A brief scuffling sound, then Cernozura could clearly hear Cesia walking across her floor. The door turned, and she was snatched up and pulled into the room.
"Cesia? What's going on--"
"Shh," a hand was clamped over her mouth, "I've got a problem."
Cernozura arched one delicately plucked eyebrow.
"A problem? Why, are the painters--"
Cesia cut her off for the second time, shaking her head.
"No. It's... Similar, but not quite."
"Oh," the young woman thought about this for a moment, then her light eyes widened.
"Oh. Oh, no. Cesia, you poor dear."
When the fortuneteller sent her a baffled look, she continued.
"I know what a shock this must be to you, but, trust me, we have ways to make him pay for all procedures..."
"No!"
Cernozura paused.
"You are keeping the baby?"
Cesia blinked at her.
"What the hell?" she sighed, "Look, you're not going to guess it and I don't want to hear you try," she added as the other woman opened her mouth once more.
"It's... Here," she gestured to her bed, "You better have a seat. The only reason I'm telling you this is because you are one of the few people in the castle who might be able to help us. Now..." she trailed off, mind desperately stalling, "How to best say this. I think it might be best to just ease into it--"
And, as if on cue, the bathroom doors opened, a newly dressed Rath and Rune walking out.
"Cesia?" Rath said, "My stuff fits, but Rune is complaining about the skir--" he stopped immediately as he noticed for the first time the Castle Administrator sitting primly on the bed, her hands clasped in her lap.
There was an awkward silence which Cesia broke.
"...Or not. As you should be able to tell, there was this spell that backfired, and... Thats!" she stood suddenly, striding over to her closet, "Come on out!"
She tossed the doors open, forcing the Knight of Earth to tumble out, loosing his balance and sprawling on the floor in a dark silken dress.
"See?" Cesia asked the other true female in the room, "They've all been turned into..." she stopped, looking at the woman with concern.
"Cernozura? Are you all right?"
The Chief Administrator was staring at her lap, body shaking slightly. Her breathing seemed to be coming harder, and as they watched, she titled her head up...
Took one look around the room, and continued laughing.
Cesia sweatdropped.
"She's taking it rather well."
::n::
(1) Dragon Fighters from Block 13?? Who are they? Well... They are the five young men you commonly see in the series.
13-A: Santiago(Beatle's Hair Cut Boy)- Think Miroku from Inuyasha meets Fred Weasly. But not in trouble as often.
13-B: Sucre/ "La Paz"(Plan Brown Hair Boy)- His personality pretty much
comes across in the series. Go back and look for him in book 8.
13-C: Caracas(Elven/Demon Boy)- He shows himself pretty well, too. Search in book 8.
13-D: Asuncion(Plain Black Hair Boy/ Punk Rocker Boy)- The outbreak of fighting and the loss of his close friend(13-E) caused a personality switch... Duo Maxwell crossed with Rath Illuser crossed with Bierrez....
13-E: Quito(Cute Blonde Boy/Dragon Fighter Zombie Seen In Sabel's Forest)- He's been resurrected for purposes as a side character in this story. Quatre R. Winner mixed with Rune.
These guys are gonna appear randomly on the castle grounds, very rarely by name. I might give a couple of them bigger roles later, but for now, they're just gonna wander about in the background. I just need them for a couple of jokes I've thought up.
Kudos to anyone who can figure out where their names are from!
:n:
Kat: You're at camp. :pouts: Rath was not happy about that... Oh, well. I think you're coming back today. Ok, ok... Evil one of interest. ...That sounded weirder than what it meant. But I will give you all that. ::pictures Cesia snogging Rath: ...Rather rowr, actually. Go Cesia!
Lisasa: I know you are delirious! ::glomps:: And I thought you would know all of that song...
Yavie Aelinel: Yes! Ice cream!!
ojosnegro: Black eyes? Yes, 'Chel's coming. Not now, but she will come. She's gonna come, and she's gonna point, and she's gonna laugh her little heart out. Thanks for the reminder! I don't think you want the long excuse, so let's just stick with my getting stuck on how to start this off, shall we? n.n;; YOU MUST BUY/READ BOOKS 13 ON!!!
Deathangle: ::blinks at and backs away slowly:: Um... Good for you... ::hides Rune:: I shall remember never to turn you into a girl! n-n;
Charna: Duuuuude! Sweeeeeeeeet! ...Um, anyway...
Elfin Kagome: Oooh. God, that bites! ::winces in sympathy:: Lol. Rune and Tintlet songs... I don't have any Dragon Knights fangirls in my classes. I did convert one of my friends, and I do have a DK rping buddy... But neither are in my classes. I've had to settle for going and attempting to convert the cooler seventh graders. It's weird, some of them are actually quite awesome. I'm friends with them. nn;
Flying-Cesia: Thank you! I read your pottery class story, but can't remember if I reviewed or not...
Hououza: Yes, very strange... That is what seems to make it so fun. Ack! Failing Spanish! Need more luck! ...Wait, wait... No longer failing! Grade has risen two letters! Yay! Oh, the wonders of cramming for tests...
insaneoveranime: COOKIE!!! ::pounces on cookie::
Capella: I think they've stopped. Just sulking now. n-n; Yes, Kitchel's gonna want to see this. D ...But Rune DOES look a disturbingly large amount like Tintlett now. oO;;; That's just... Not right...
Eikou: Yup. :evil grin: I wrote more!
Minea: Thanks! I'm trying to be funny... Haven't done a humor fic for a long while...
Rath Lover: I'm glad you do, and I updated! Whee!