Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Knights, as I'm sure you've all been able to figure out by now.
Warnings: Swearing, weirdness, general non PCness. Dragon Fighters. Strange, strange, sexual implications. o.O The swearing is much lighter now. I think they've calmed down.
A/N: Sorry about that long wait. I know people were starting to get impatient... Hopefully the length of this will make up for it? :normally writes crap short chapters: And as you should be able to tell by now, I'm still referring to the Knights as "he" or "him". XD That made parts of this especially hilarious to write. "In the middle of changing out of his second bra..."
Catch the Book Three line?
::n::
"Hey, hey!" Thats tried to get the attention of the girl walking a few paces ahead of him.
"Where are we going?"
Cesia turned around, a slightly exasperated look on her face.
"To Chantel. They have an open market today. It's a good place to buy cheap clothing."
"Yeah, but," Thats mentally winced at the idea of walking all the way to Chantel, "I thought Cernozura was going to be fitting us today?" He said with no little effort. The idea of a fitting in his new body was not one he relished. He had up until that point been concentrating on forgetting about it... Or at least pretending he had. The idea of actively going shopping, however, was currently making the clothing fitting seem attractive. At least all they'd have to do was stand there and be mocked, instead of being mocked while waking around.
Cesia shook her head.
"You boys didn't listen, did you?" she questioned, and as both Rune and Rath also fixed her with curious stares, she elaborated, "You are getting fitted, but only for the more formal outfits you three will require. Clothes for fancy dinners, dresses for balls, that sort of thing. We're going shopping at Alfeegi's request. This will save the castle a lot of money and the maids a lot of time. We're going to buy some more casual outfits for every day use."
Even as she finished, Cesia knew that she had already managed to loose them somewhere.
"Wait... Balls?"
Sighing, she responded.
"Yes, Rath. I know you hate dressing up. It is the Lord and Lady's anniversary this month, however, and they're throwing a fancy party to celebrate '650 years of wedded bliss'."
Rath winced at the overly honeyed words.
"Why weren't we told about this before?"
"Actually," Rune started, looking rather red, "We were. A couple dinners ago they announced it. You came late and missed it, and Thats was too busy arguing with Alfeegi to notice it."
Both the other boys swiveled around to stare at him.
"You knew about this? And you turned us into girls anyway?"
"That was one of the plusses for carrying out the plan," Rune admitted sheepishly.
Thats growled, "Yeah, only your stupid plan backfired!"
Cesia sped up her pace, tuning them out. Ever since she had found them, it seemed that they had done nothing but argue. After seeing the Dragon Lord the previous night to explain the mistake, it seemed that the fights had just become more frequent. Not that she couldn't understand why. Their meeting had not gone as well as might have been hoped.
Its climax had been when Alfeegi, midway through his rant on how they were endangering the castle and the Lord through their antics, made the fatal mistake of saying "breast" instead of "best", effectively sending an already shaky Lykouleon to laughing in conniptions on the floor.
Unable to completely smother the giggle this memory produced, Cesia caught the attention of the still bickering knights.
"What?" Rune snapped, feeling what little patience he still had fading.
The fortuneteller cast about for an excuse.
Attracted to their predicament, it came easily.
"That guard over there." She quickly said, pointing to a young man on watch duty outside the nearing castle gates. "He was checking you out."
She grinned at a furiously blushing Rune, both his companions wearing expressions of delight at this embarrassing development.
Rune followed Cesia's accusing finger to where it lit upon the lone Dragon Fighter. The unknown young man, realizing he had been spotted, immediately looked away, a slight pink flush climbing to his freckled cheeks.
As they continued walking, their path to Chantel taking them through the gates and past the guard in question, none of them spoke a word.
But some of them held more interesting inner monologues than others.
'Oh, God, why is he still looking at me? Look away! Look away, creep! Eep! Whoa now, buddy! These aren't real! Maybe if I don't look at him... lookawaylookawaylookawaylookawaylookawaylookawaylookaway... Okay... Now check. Good, it worked. He's not looking at me. Hey! Why won't he look at me?!'
As they walked though the open gates, the Dragon Fighter continued his game of alternatively staring at and pretending to ignore them. When they were passing directly by his post, however, he, seemingly on impulse, shot out his arm, and grabbed onto Rune's.
"Hey, have I seen you around before?"
"U-um..." if possible, the Half-Elf turned redder.
"No," Cesia scrambled to his rescue, "He... She's new. She's, uh, my friend!"
"Your friend?" the fighter looked skeptically at her.
"Yes... Actually, she's her friend!" Cesia said, grabbing Rath and thrusting him forward.
"This is my cousin, um..."
"Pyore." Rath supplied, using the first female name to come to mind.
"Yes," Cesia continued, "And she's visiting me from the Misty Valley, where I used to live. And these are her friends," she trailed off, looking at Thats and Rune expectantly.
Thats scrambled for a vaguely feminine sounding name.
"Kitchel."
Rath let out a snort of laughter, quickly silenced as two people, one barely holding back her own suppressed giggle, and the other desperately wanting to strangle him, but finding himself unable to do so in front of the still-watching guard.
"And you?" The Dragon Fighter asked, absentmindedly shaking a strand of dirty blonde hair out of his face.
Rune was taken off-guard and replied without thinking.
"My name's Rune."
"Rune," he mused on this, seemingly oblivious to the distressed looks the 'girl' was now shooting her shocked friends.
"It's a pretty name," he finally said, flashing a gleam of white teeth, "For a pretty girl."
Noticing her friend in dire straits, Cesia reached forward and none-too-gently pried the Fighter's hand from Rune's arm.
"We have to be going," she said firmly, "It's a long way to Chantel."
"Hey, do you ladies want an escort?" he asked, a little too eagerly, "I'm on duty now, but I can get my friend to cover for me..."
Cesia began walking away, pulling Rune after her.
"That's all right," she smiled at him, "We wouldn't want to get you in trouble for deserting. C'mon," she muttered to the others, "Hurry up. Let's get out of here before he decides to follow us."
Once they were suitably out of earshot, she rounded on Rune.
"What were you thinking?! Using your own name like that! You do realize it will be only a matter of time before he figures out who you are? No one is supposed to know! Tetheus went through all the trouble of making it seem as though you three were called off to Kuulta on some rumor of demon attacks, and here you go and let it get out that your name's Rune! You are endangering the Dragon Castle!"
Thats sweatdropped.
"Cesia, you sound a little too much like Alfeegi for your own good. Besides," he continued, ignoring the vicious glare sent his way, "Those Dragon Fighters aren't exactly the fastest Darnias in the stable. I doubt he'd put it together, even if he caught Rune summoning the Water Dragon, and making out with Tintlett."
"Like you're the one to talk," Cesia snapped, "Of all the names to use! At least you didn't use your own, but Kitchel's? Trust me on this one, they know who she is. And it isn't you."
He gave her a confused glance.
"They know her?"
Cesia rolled her eyes.
"Remember when she came to the Dragon Castle while collecting the Pieces of the Map?" When he nodded, she continued. "And do you remember how she was here for a full day? What do you think she spent that time doing?"
Correctly interpreting the sudden awkward silence, she felt the beginnings of a headache coming on.
"Not that! She played them Poker, but with a cheat deck. Robbed them of their monthly salary and some."
"Oh."
"Right. And even if that doofus guard didn't remember, I'm sure some of his friends will. And that is going to throw a dent into things."
"Hey," Thats protested, "At least I didn't use my real name."
"That is true," Cesia grudgingly admitted.
Rune felt a fresh surge of guilt wash over him.
"Well is there any way I can fix this? Brainwashing or something?"
Cesia let out a heartfelt sigh, rubbing her temples distractedly.
"No. I don't think there is--"
"Wait!" Thats cut her off, a glint in his sadistic smirk.
"Rath, remember my plan, back when we were in Memphis? On what we should do when we needed more money?"
A light of recognition flickered in the Knight of Fire's eyes, and his mouth twitched up into a mirror image of his friend's.
"I do. And I'm inclined to agree."
"Wh-what?!" Rune looked shocked, "I remember that too, you know! And as funny for you two as it might be, selling me into prostitution is not going to solve anything!"
"We weren't thinking of that..." Thats grinned.
"Not exactly." Upon seeing Cesia's look of utter bewilderment, Rath decided to let their idea out into the open. "We were thinking... Since that Fighter obviously wants a date with Rune, why shouldn't he get it?"
Cesia shook her head, "Rath, that will just get Rune more attention! It's bad enough as it is. Don't go making it worse!"
Rath continued, undeterred.
"We'll send him out on a date, and have him tell the Dragon Fighter that he, Thats, and I are here in secret. We don't want our presence known. We told him our names by mistake, but he is, under no condition, to repeat them. We'll just make Rune convince him to keep his mouth shut, and no one will ever know. No harm done."
"Hmm."
To Rune's dismay, Cesia actually appeared to be considering it.
"It's worth a shot, I suppose. But how will he convince him to keep quiet about it?"
Thats shrugged, "Offer to sleep with him."
The speed of which the boulder came crashing down upon his head was remarkable. Thats later claimed it to be faster than the speed of light, as none of the three had seen it coming, no pun intended. But when the dust cleared, and the bits of granite stopped flying in all directions like shards of silver shrapnel, what was left before them was one royally pissed Rune.
"I. Am. Not. Sleeping with him."
Rath nodded reverently, casting a quick glance at where the large rock lay, still smoldering, a couple inches to his right.
"Right. Rune does not equal Hooker. Gotcha."
::n::
Although the party had left in the early morning, it was mid-afternoon by the time they reached Chantel. The normally crowded streets were even more packed than usual, with a wide array of vendor's carts and bustling cafés filling up most of the market square. Colorful scarfs of pink and golden silk were draped around the booth nearest to them, fragile looking pieces of silver jewelry displayed below. To their other side was a cart packed high with fresh produce, small apples, oranges, and dusty looking grapes.
Villagers, tourists, and store tenders walked everywhere.
"Cesia?" Rath asked, a realization suddenly coming to him, "Won't people recognize us?"
She fought to keep from giggling.
"No, Rath. Trust me on this one. They're way too busy with their own little lives to notice you three. Besides, I seem to recall that you managed to get in drag and sneak past castle guards on occasion. You're much better 'disguised' now."
Remembering what they were there for, she slung her small backpack around, digging inside it's contents and retrieved a heavy, obscenely maroon, money purse.
"Rune, how long did you say this curse would last? A month?"
He nodded.
"Unless something else went wrong when I cast it, yes. It is supposed to last for one full moon cycle."
Midway through opening the moneybag to see exactly how much gold Alfeegi had entrusted them with that was serving to make it so weighty, Cesia paused.
"One moon cycle?"
Rune nodded, looking distractedly around the bustling market square.
The young fortuneteller fought to keep her mouth from twisting up into a non-too-kind smirk, hurriedly hiding her face as she knelt on the ground in pretense of searching through the rest of her pack.
Thats caught her suspicious actions, and, against his better judgment, decided to inquire.
"What's so funny?"
She straightened up again, determinedly looking away from the other three, and pretending to scout out potential shopping destinations.
"What do you mean?" Not quite able to keep the snicker out of her voice, she made an abrupt change of topic in a hope to distract them.
"That store looks nice. Let's look there. Okay?" Pulling her bag on properly again, and grabbing hold of Rath's hand, she quickly made her way through the crowds, the others following.
The store in mention was, while considerably larger than the vendors' carts of satin and specialty items, rather small compared to a decent sized restaurant or bar.
A steady trickle of female customers wound their way in and out of it's wide glass doors, some noticeably born down by packages and stuffed shopping bags.
Cesia beamed, and all three boys simultaneously gulped.
"Yes, I think this will be a nice place to start!"
"Start...?" Thats muttered to Rath, shooting the girl next to them a dubious look.
"Just how much clothing do we need, anyway?"
Cesia thought on this a moment, before coming to the reasonable answer.
"As much as I say you do. It's not like you three can ditch me and head back to the castle whenever you want. You're supposed to be from out of town, so you won't be able to get back into the castle, or at least into the inner chambers, without me. Looks like you girls," she added unnecessary emphasis onto that end word, "are stuck with me."
Rune let out a silent groan.
He would be in heaven right now, watching the other two in fits of glee, if only he hadn't screwed up that damn incantation. Sighing and somewhat resigned to his fate, he trailed after Thats, bringing up the rear of their disgruntled party.
The inside of the store was just as crowded as the market place outside, with rows of clothing crammed into every corner of the room.
Squeezing past a middle-aged maternal woman, Cesia lead them into one of the many rows, taking a look at the many garments surrounding her. A wicked gleam crept to her eye.
"I think we'd better start with the basics," she stated, rummaging through the clothing before her, "And that means..." she pulled a particular white lacy item off the row and holding it up to Rath, who had the distinct misfortune to be the closest to her, "Underwear shopping."
Rath blanched.
"Wh-what?" He asked in a voice that sounded far too high, even taking his new body into account.
"What do you mean? You three need it." Cesia stated matter-of-factly, looking them over.
"Once we get you some things here, we can move on to other clothing."
She resumed her search through the messily sorted underwear, the realization slowly dawning on her that having another actual female around to help out would be very useful.
"Shit," the fortuneteller cursed under her breath, "You boys... Uh, girls don't happen to see your namesakes around anywhere, do you?"
Rath shook his head, awkwardly holding the lacy bra thrust at him, absentmindedly toying with the too-large cups.
"Not unless you mean Rune."
"Pyore's probably in Costa Rica village," Thats added in, not sure if the thought of being surrounded by woman's underwear was more funny or scary, "And don't even mention Kitchel. You're going to jinx us."
Cesia sighed, "Right. Having someone to help me with this would be so much easier, though."
She shrugged it off.
"It's crowded today, but if we're lucky, we can possibly squeeze into a changing room."
A small selection already in her arms, she started to make her way towards the back of the shop, the other three reluctantly following. As she occasionally stopped to search through other shelves for another choice, Thats suddenly realized something.
"Rath," he whispered, "The hell she knows what size we wear?"
"I was wondering that myself, actually," Rune said, having overheard the muffled question, "Do you think we should ask her?"
Not waiting for an answer, Rath immediately called ahead to Cesia, now bending over, examining the label on a black cotton number.
"Cesia? We were wondering, how do you know what to get for us?"
"Oh," she seemed slightly uncomfortable with that question, "Actually, I don't." Before complaints could be voiced, she continued. "I'm guessing, but I think I'm pretty close. I'm just not exactly certain about some... Details." As Rath opened his mouth, undoubtedly to press her for what sort of 'details', she hurriedly spoke again.
"Now come on. That dressing room looks like it's available. Go in there."
"Wait, all of us?" Rune asked, slightly panicked.
"Yes, all of you. You're all girls, aren't you?" A tinge of irritation crept into her voice. "It's not a big deal. Now go!" With surprising strength, she shoved Rath into the small stall, beckoning for the other two to follow him.
Rune and Thats simultaneously looked at each other, gave a nervous shrug, and followed her pointing finger into the cramped changing room, jumping slightly as the door was slammed behind them.
As soon as the flimsy door had been closed, Cesia, still standing outside, began sorting through the items she already held.
"Here, Rune, I want you to try this on." She said, reaching up and gently lobbing a rather-too-sheer (in Rune's opinion) bra through the wide space between the top of the door and the ceiling.
In a similar process, she managed to deliver the items for the Knights of Fire and Earth, and it wasn't until sending over the third-or-so article for Rath that something out of the ordinary happened.
In the middle of changing out of his second bra, Rath heard Cesia announce the incoming of another, and just barely managed to catch it before it hit the floor. Shrugging out of the last article and hanging it loosely on one of the many hooks protruding out of the door, he never took a closer look at the newest one until right about to try it on.
Thats heard the muffled "eep", and turned away from the wall he had been studiously facing, taking a wary glance towards Rath while still attempting to fasten his bra properly.
"What?" He asked, then noticed what Rath was staring at. "Holy shit. It's like a hooker bra."
At this, Rune turned around, eyes immediately landing on the aforementioned article of thin black lace.
There was a long silence.
"Wow," Rune ended up offering lamely.
Thats nodded, now grinning slightly.
"Yeah, Cesia must still love you. I mean, you're not even the one with the hot date coming up."
Outside the changing room, Cesia had been listening carefully to the dead still, and winced when there were suddenly two loud thwacks and a muffled swearing. As the noise of a brief scuffle drew to an end, probably the result of the two-too-many bodies in the small dressing room making it near impossible to draw back one's fist for a punch without smacking one's elbow on the plaster wall, she spoke.
"Calm down in there!"
"Calm down?!" Rath called back, mentally gagging at the shrillness of his own voice, "You want me to try on a... A sexy bra!"
Willing herself not to burst out laughing at his wording, and to not point out that she herself had worn a model almost exactly like it in front of him before, Cesia calmly responded.
"I just wanted to see if you fit the same size in that brand. They tend to run a little small, so I wasn't too sure."
"Well I'm not wearing it," Rath declared, shoving it back over the top of the door.
"Fine." Cesia took it from him, placing it in the steadily growing 'reject pile' by her feet. "I actually thought you might like it. I've always figured that if you were a girl, you'd wear the same things as me. And that," she stated, "Is exactly the sort of thing that I wear, as you should very well know."
Inside the changing room, two pairs of eyes widened and turned to look at the boy turned girl standing topless between them.
Rath flushed furiously.
"She doesn't mean it like that!" He insisted, to no avail.
"Sure."
"Whatever you say."
:n:
An hour later showed the four slightly bedraggled members of the Dragon Tribe leaving the small store.
"I never thought I'd say this, but I never want to see another pair of woman's underwear in my life," Thats muttered under his breath to Rath.
Rath bit back all jabs about cross dressing, and responded with the more mature approach.
"Same. But it looks like we'll be seeing a lot more of them."
"Isn't that the truth," Rune sighed, falling into step with them. "I have no idea how I'm going to explain this to Tintlett."
Thats looked at him, surprised.
"You're actually going to tell her?"
"Of course!" Rune looked almost scandalized. "A good relationship is built upon trust, and that means no keeping secrets! How can I expect her to be truthful, if I'm not truthful in turn?"
"Bets that he just doesn't want her to find out from a drunken Kai-Stern?" The Dragon Knight of Earth asked to no one in particular.
Rath snorted behind his hand, and Rune was about to retaliate, when they caught sound of Cesia's panicked voice.
"Shit! I lost the money!"
"What?!"
That was immediately searching through her bag, trying without result to find the mysteriously missing purse, still filled with solid gold coins.
"Damn." He cursed, then turned to look at the girl still standing next to him, now checking her pockets. "Where did you last see it?"
"We bought the stuff, then I put it back in here," a note of frantic worry cut into her voice, "Shit, that was supposed to last us the rest of your wardrobes!"
"Was it stolen?" Rune asked, bending over to help his friend search through the bag.
Thats suddenly stiffened, eyes wide.
"Don't tempt fate!" He hissed at the elf, turning around to look through the masses of people. After a moment's scan, he appeared to be satisfied, and resumed his search.
"Fuck, Cesia, you were right. It's gone."
She sighed.
"Great. I suppose we'd better head back then, unless you want to search for it."
Thats shook his head.
"Nah. Whoever stole it will be long gone."
:n:
Meanwhile, by a small vendor's cart, not thirty feet away, Kitchel tossed a small money bag from hand to hand, tracing her fingers over it's deep pink velvet.
She grinned to herself.
"That was almost too easy."
Her triumphant smirk broadening, she shook off the feeling that her unwitting victim had been one she knew, and turned to the elderly man behind the stand.
"I'd like to take a look at that necklace."
:n:
Random Note... I originally planned on turning all the guys into girls, and then also turning a bunch of the girls into boys. I obviously decided against that, ne?
:n:
Kat(Ho): o.o Um. Riiiiight... :won't ask: And, meh. :sticks out tongue: The books are in black and white. Her eyes can be whatever color I say they are. :shifty:
Capella: :mega sweatdrop: Um... Well, I wasn't planning on putting Nohiro in here. But now that you mentioned it... Nah, joking. Rune's got enough to deal with, what with that Dragon Fighter(SANTIAGO!! :cheers/laughs:) and all.
:spazzing: CAPELLA!!! I FOUND A PICTURE THAT YOU NEED TO SEE! NOW!!! :wants to send, but cannot: ARRRRRGH!! I just found it by mistake, and it's a spoiler, and the words have been written on, but they sound like they could be a real quote from the series, and you being the RunexTintlett fan, NEED TO SEE THIS!!! :freaking out: Ohmyfuckinggodohmyfuckinggodohmyfuckinggod... ...Actually, you may not want to see it. It's um. I'm not sure. I need to know the background, what happened, whether the quote is REAL... ...And trust me. It's nothing like what you think. :still spazzing:
Sarehptar: :blinks: ...I don't know, actually. :confused: Umm... Because I play with them on my Scantron tests, and 13 is the traditional unlucky number...?
ShadowDown: :bows: Thank you! I try to make them weird!
Hououza: As you may have noticed, he thought it was hilarious. Alfeegi thought it was bad. So did Tetheus. ...And, yes, I'm taking the easy way out and reviving everybody for my own purposes. :sweatdrop: Ah, the Author's Powers...
Minea: n-n Thanks!
Ojos Negro: She came. But she didn't notice them. Yet. :evil smile:
Yavie Aelinel: So, so, so true! :loves all mentioned: PiPpIn RuLeZ yOu!!!1!!!!!11!!!one!!!!!
Eikou: nn; Actually, I have no clue what their real names are. I just call them that. Quito DIED, though. :obsessive about that: And then he wanted Kitchel's body. o.O;
:n:
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