Disclaimer: We all know i don't own anything.
A/N: I wrote this out of boredom. Don't take it seriously.
Mmmm…Violent Imagery…
It was just your average day at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry. Well, as average as things are in the world of Fan Fiction.
Ginny was being unusually outspoken and had of course grown curves in all the right places, Draco had stepped out of his fathers shadow and instantly become a nice guy, Ron was being annoyingly over protective of Ginny, Hermione had broken out of her shell and done something shocking and Harry was being moody. So naturally, the time was right for romance to blossom.
So, the afore-mentioned characters were standing around waiting for the author to establish where they were and why they were there, when suddenly the author had in idea.
"Err…where are we?" asked Ron in an attempt to stall so the author can think of the idea she just said she had come up with.
"I do believe we are in a jumping castle," replied Draco shocking everyone with his knowledge of Muggle children's entertainment devices.
"How did you know that?" asked Ginny, as the author needs to establish a moment where their eyes meet.
"I'm not as evil as I'm made out to be," Draco replied, meeting her gaze and of course feeling an unnatural pull, preventing him from looking away.
"When you two are quite done with your staring contest, maybe we should be quiet and let the author come up with a reason for us to be in this Jumping Castle!" Snapped Hermione, because she is now emo and likes to be angry with people.
So, as our characters decided to be quiet I, the author, have decided that they are in a Jumping Castle as a test to determine whether they are good or evil. Designed, of course, by Dumbledore, who is on drugs and thinks the war is still raging, when in reality Harry killed Voldemort just yesterday, which is why he is moody. The author refuses to except that Draco is evil and thus he is in the story being his stereotypical self. The author also refuses to except that Dumbledore is dead thus he is in this story being his druggie self.
"A test?" asked Harry uttering his first ever words since the defeat of Voldemort.
"Well, duh!" replied an apathetic Hermione.
"Harry you spoke!" exclaimed Ron; slightly disappointed that The-Boy-Who-Lived-And-Made-Everyone-Feel-Really-Guilty-About-It had broken his unspoken vow of silence.
"Well, duh!" Hermione stated again.
"Shut up Hermione," they stated together.
"Say, what ever happened to Ginny and Malfoy?" Ron asked, attempting to sound casual but failing miserably.
At this point Hermione makes an apathetic gesture towards a giant inflatable clown (part of the castle). Her gesture is apathetic because she is emo and incapable of caring about anything other than herself. But back to the point, she is still apathetically gesturing toward the clown. Harry then moves over to the clown and proceeds to shriek like a woman, causing Ron to join him by the clown and also shriek like a woman.
"Ronald Weasely, would you stop shrieking like a woman and get over it. Draco is sexy, as am I and we are very much in love and I'm pregnant and engaged to him," Ginny announced.
"Merlin, Ginny. You sure do work quickly," said an amused Harry. He was amused because Ron's head just exploded, and who wouldn't find that amusing?
"Yes, well now Ron is all dead and stuff, I suppose we can get out of this Jumping Castle and move on with our lives, which are just SO interesting," said Draco.
"Yes, this was after all, just an elaborate scheme to explode Ron's head," agreed Ginny.
"Oh, so your not really pregnant and engaged to Malfoy?" asked Harry.
"What? Merlin, Harry, how slow ARE you? This is Fan Fiction. Of COURSE I am pregnant and engaged to Draco. That's why YOU are moody, HERMIONE is emo and RON is exploded. This is simply the over-active imagination of a 15 year old girl!" yelled Ginny.
"Oh," Harry replied looking around for the emo Hermione, only to find her also exploded as her character had become to boring and apathetic.
"What happened to her?" Harry asked stupidly.
"Exactly what's going to happen to you in a few seconds. She got exploded because of all the violent imagery in the authors mind. Plus she only likes Bad Boys. Like me," Draco said whilst rolling his ever so hypnotic, icy, blue-grey eyes.
"Then why does Ginny get to live?" Harry asked.
"Because," Ginny sighed, "I am how the author wishes to perceive herself. I am smart, beautiful and I am engaged to Draco."
"Well, I can't argue with that logic," replied Harry and his head exploded.
Then Ginny and Draco lived happily ever after because the author said so.
THE END
Well, that's it. If you want something more serious, read my other story, Smoke.
Pixie