Chapter 185 – A Bit More Normal

(WPOV)

It'd been two weeks since Kae had been back to base, one of the bot's orns. It'd been an absolutely blissfully uneventful orn. Sort of.

Will had spent a great deal of the past two orn tearing his hair out, figuratively of course, although he was certain he could feel the greys coming in. But the fliers had successfully taken out the incoming hostiles, and the brig was full of Decepticons from the 'quick little sortie,' as Sunstreaker put it.

That was a little weird though. The NEST base, in the outskirts of Washington DC, capital city of the Unites States of America, was full of Decepticons.

Unarmed, of course, but not one of them was less than ten feet tall. They didn't really need weapons to do some serious damage.

So Will was waiting for Optimus and Kae to both make it back to base.

He needed to discuss this.

Discuss, not yell. Yelling was what the Directors tended to do.

Which was what was going to happen if the President or the Directors ever found out that the brig was currently stuffed with Decepticons.

In Washington DC.

"WILL!" Ironhide's voice bellowed.

Will didn't even flinch. Ironhide tended to do that. A lot. Specifically, eighteen hundred five. Six oh five friday, the time that Ironhide took him home.

"Yes Ironhide?" he asked patiently, turning to look at his guardian.

"Home time Will!" Ironhide grinned at him. That was a relief, Ironhide saying it was home time? That's how he knew things were back to normal.

"Be honest Ironhide, you have absolutely no interest in driving me home, you just want to continue corrupting my daughter." Will stated calmly. Perfect straight face. He was rather proud of that.

"I what-!? NO!" Ironhide immediately stated in a shocked tone, that was the only way to get him to look shocked. "Anabelle is incorruptible!"

"What's this?" Chromia's voice asked flatly.

"Ironhide's corrupting my daughter," Will stated in his best, mockingly earnest voice.

"Who's side are you on?" Ironhide immediately growled at him.

"You're corrupting hatchlings?" Chromia's voice asked in a menacing tone. Will flinched, so did Ironhide, and practically every tech in communications. You just couldn't help it.

"No!" Ironhide protested, and there was the look, the pleading 'please don't get me in trouble even if there's the possibility that I did something wrong' look.

It'd been two weeks since he'd seen that look. He'd missed that look.

"He is," Will stated in a grave tone. "Every time Ironhide is anywhere close to my daughter she starts demanding any and every piece of knowledge Ironhide'll share with her. He's almost run out of English, History, Astronomy, Science and Mathematics, what's next 'Hide? Are you going to turn my daughter – who has not yet been enrolled into kindergarten I might add – into a computer technician now?"

"But she advances so Primus damned quickly!" Ironhide snarled. "What am I supposed to do? Tell her that 'no, you can't learn what the big humans are talking about yet, let's play dolls?'"

Chromia looked confused.

Shocked Ironhide, confused Chromia.

Crouching tiger, hidden dragon.

Score.

"Besides, Anabelle and Sarah both know we're going to be late, I need to stay here and talk to Kae and Optimus, remember?" Will stated innocently. "I swear Ironhide, the only time you forget the schedule changes is when you're contemplating how further to corrupt my daughter."

Lena was snorting softly, Will smirked at his former night Tech Lieutenant. Chromia just shot him one of those 'are you serious?' looks.

"You thought I could help it?" Will immediately grinned at the intimidating femme.

"Apparently, I thought better of you," Chromia informed him airily. "Sarah and I will be discussing this. Will."

Will flinched, he couldn't help it.

Right back to normal.

(BPOV)

There was an energon signature in the house.

Bee didn't recognize it. He'd been staking the house out for twenty minutes now, the thread lead into it.

Soundwave was parked behind him, patiently waiting for the next move.

But there was an energon signature in the house of the femme.

And Bee didn't recognize it.

There were a million probabilities running through his processors, for what purpose could another Cybertronian be in the house? Was the femme in danger?

::. Inquiry: Scout's processes.::

::. There's an energon signature in the house, I don't recognize it.:: Bumblebee sent worriedly .

::. Signature: Wingnut femme.::

::. I logged Wingnut's signature-.::

::. Bumblebee: Logged Wingnut disguising signature.::

Bumblebee scanned the house again, one Cybertronian signature, one human femme.

::. Are you sure?.:: he asked worriedly. He didn't recognize the signature, and when that happened there was always the chance that somebody would get hurt when another bot busted in.

Crossfire and whatnot.

Bumblebee didn't want to take the chance with what was very obviously Soundwave's future spark-mate, and hurting humans didn't jive with the Auto-bot beliefs anyway.

::. Bumblebee: observe auditory signatures.:: Soundwave sent to him patiently.

Birds in the trees, the hum of electricity running through the lines above him, traffic. The normal sounds of a human city. There was music playing somewhere.

But Bee was focused on the house, and the Cybertronian signature still sitting where a Cybertronian signature shouldn't be under normal circumstances.

Then finally, the music ceased and the voices began.

"I still think you should come with me Sim."

"But where would we go Wing?"

"I dunno, Cybertron once Papa has the complex secured. We'd be safe there."

"Wing I probably wouldn't survive on another planet," the first voice murmured in amusement. "How would we even get there? It's mathematically impossible for me to survive the distance we'd have to travel."

Bee sat on his tires, stunned.

::. How the slag do you always know that!?.:: he demanded of the bot parked behind him.

::. Femme Designation: Symphony.:: Soundwave stated patiently. ::. Symphony: habitually visited Lugnut, Longbolt, Wingnut on farm. Wingnut: obviously visiting femme-friend.::

Bumblebee rolled his optics, he couldn't help it.

::. If you knew that already what am I here for?.:: he asked with a snort.

::. Confirmation.::

Bee pursed his lip plating and shrugged. Fair enough.

But neither of them moved.

::. Inquiry: Now what?.::

Bee sat for another second.

::. I dunno, should I go knock on the door with my holoform? Wait, have you even got a holoform yet?.::

::. Negative.::

::. Slag. Bumblebee to Ratchet.::

::. Ratchet receiving.::

::. Ratchet can you send the holoformatic programming to Soundwave? We forgot that bit.::

Bee grinned when the sense and sound of Ratchet snorting with laughter crossed their commlink.

(OPOV)

Optimus vented a sigh and straightened somewhat, scanning the last of the datas on Prowl's desk. It was something to do while he waited for his Kae to return, the stack of day to day logs and reports had grown numerous in the past orn, for good reason.

Prowl hadn't set servo in this office since the fliers had returned.

More aptly? Prowl hadn't emerged from his quarters since his mate had arrived, and not a single Auto-bot on base could blame the mech.

The door opened and Optimus glanced up.

"Bored yet?" Kae asked cheerfully. Optimus fell off of his bench.

Prowl's bench.

"Remind me to not do that if sneaking up on you now means you falling off of things," his mate teased him. Optimus snorted and rolled to his feet.

"It is a short bench," he rumbled cheerfully. "You have finally allowed Sentinel to bridge you."

"I still prefer flying."

Optimus snorted again and wound his femme into the circle of his arms. "Bridging isn't that bad," he murmured, nuzzling at her helm.

"I prefer driving over bridging, and the only time I like driving is when I'm running convoy with you," his mate pouted up at him, propping her chin against his chestplates.

"The only time I enjoy being off the ground is when I am flying with you," Optimus murmured quietly. Kae smiled at him, nuzzling her way just a little bit closer.

The way she always did, and as was his habit, Optimus lightly ran his fingers over the chinks in her armour, unconsciously mapping the frame of his femme.

"If you don't stop doing that I'm not going to be able to attend the meeting," his Kae murmured into his chest.

"One more Joor," Optimus sighed.

"The sooner we get there, the sooner we can leave," his mate murmured in a musing tone.

Optimus snorted, he couldn't help it as his Kae caught his hand and turned, the door opening as the final trek of the evening began.

"Doesn't do to be late," Kae stated cheerfully, grinning at Sentinel. Optimus idly hid his face behind his mate's helm, not allowing Sentinel to see his smirk.

"We are Primes-" Sentinel rumbled airily at the door.

"You're not late, everybody else is early?" Kae asked innocently, dodging the whack Sentinel aimed at her. "In that case I think I'll stick with predator, you Primes are too bloody pompous for your own good."

Sentinel just rolled his optics at her, Optimus snorted.

"You are a Prime. Born the fifth generation of a line of Primes-" Sentinel informed Kae. Again. Optimus desperately tried to not laugh. He really did.

It just didn't work.

Because his mate was at his side, and she was playing the games she always did to help keep her mind sharp.

Namely, triggering the automatic responses of the bots and femmes around her. Sentinel glared at him for laughing. Sentinel had always glared at him for laughing. Not that his old mentor and friend really found anything wrong with him enjoying life.

It was just un-Primely to walk down the corridors giggling like a youngling.

The clang of metal against metal startled him somewhat, he glanced between his mate and his friend curiously as Sentinel glowered somewhat.

Kae had blocked the light cuff aimed at his helm before Sentinel could even catch him, they had frozen that way, Kae's hand firmly wrapped around Sentinel's wrist.

"It is un-Primely-" Sentinel began.

"-For the Emperor of Cybertron to laugh as he walks the corridors on the way to yet another meeting full of seriousness, revisions of tactics and grim-yet-still-hopeful projections of the battles ahead." his Kae finished for Sentinel. Optimus cycled his optics, he couldn't help it.

Because the spark of his Kae had settled on another tactic, he was curious to see how it would play out.

"Indeed, and yet you still make him laugh and behave in an unseemly manner where others are available to bear witness," Sentinel glowered at her.

"Sentinel Prime I have not seen my mate for more than a few minutes at a time in damn near five weeks. You're holding me from my duty again." Kae glowered right back at him.

Sentinel stared at her, frozen in the corridor and keeping them from continuing to central.

"How?" the older Prime demanded in shock.

"As the Lady High Protector and mate of the Emperor Prime it is my duty not only to see to the continued existence of the body of the Prime but the state of his processors," Kae stated in her best, mocking, 'sternly better-than-thou' tone. "Optimus has been subjected to extreme duress and strain for the past several vorn, as such I am going to make my beloved mate giggle in the corridors whenever I damn well please; and if you wish to take issue with it you can blame yourself for welding the title of Lady High Protector to my aft without asking first!"

Dead silence.

Optimus reached up and covered his vocal processors with a hand. It was a necessity for the purpose of not laughing aloud at the stunned look plastered onto Sentinel's faceplates.

"She is never going to allow me to live that down, is she?" Sentinel finally asked in a resigned tone, looking at Optimus.

Optimus snorted, he couldn't help it.

"My Kae is yet young, give her a few vorn to get used to the weight of the titles," Optimus rumbled in a mockingly musing tone, grinning and automatically ducking the light whack his mate aimed at him. Two could play her game, after all.

"As yah c'n tell, even as a younglin' Ahchangel is ah'eady becomin' as p'oficient at whippin' hah titles about as she is hah blades," Jazz added cheerfully behind him.

"Whose side are you on anyway?" Kae demanded with a snort, turning and glaring at the Saboteur.

"Optimus'. Duh." Jazz smirked at her.

(SwPOV)

"How would we even get there? It's mathematically impossible for me to survive the distance we'd have to travel."

It wasn't, but without doubt his femme had yet to attend Sentinel Prime's lectures. This was the second time Soundwave had heard the voice of his femme, except now he knew it was her. It was a certainty, a full scout was parked in front of him, confirming the thread from his spark and it's path.

::. How the slag do you always know that!?.:: Bumblebee demanded of him.

::. Femme Designation: Symphony.:: Soundwave stated patiently. ::. Symphony: habitually visited Lugnut, Longbolt, Wingnut on farm. Wingnut: obviously visiting femme-friend.::

"I'm pretty sure humans can use bridges," Wingnut's voice stated cheerfully.

"We build bridges," Symphony's voice murmured in a confused tone. "What does crossing a river have to do with space travel?"

::. If you knew that already what am I here for?.:: Bumblebee asked with a snort.

::. Confirmation.::

Soundwave could sense the scout's agreement to that.

But neither of them moved. Soundwave didn't know what to do. He was here. It would have been logical for him to plan the next several steps to be followed upon arriving at their destination, however the methods for courting a human femme were not within his lexicon of cultural investigations, and the pre-requisite data input for calculating human courtship was unavailable. Therefore he couldn't use his battle computer.

"No, Space Bridge, it goes across really really long distances in seconds," Wingnut's voice stated cheerfully. "But the point stands, I still think you should come with me."

"And go where?" Symphony's voice murmured sadly.

He couldn't use his battle computer, which had him marginally slagged off if he were perfectly honest. Nightsong had laughed at him when he'd admitted that his courtship of her had already been calculated down to the energon goodies he was to retrieve for her from the nomads.

Bumblebee however, had witnessed the courtship of the Primes...

::. Inquiry: Now what?.:: Soundwave sent curiously.

::. I dunno, should I go knock on the door with my holoform? Wait, have you even got a holoform yet?.::

::. Negative.:: Soundwave stated patiently, but that was an interesting piece of information. Evidently, the mechs had taken to interacting with the human femmes with holoforms.

"I dunno where we'd wind up, but I do know which direction we need to take," Wingnut stated cheerfully.

::. Slag. Bumblebee to Ratchet.:: Bumblebee sent, opening a commlink with practiced ease.

::. Ratchet receiving.::

"And which direction is that?" Symphony's voice asked in soft amusement.

"That way," Wingnut stated proudly.

::. Ratchet can you send the holoformatic programming to Soundwave? We forgot that bit.::

"Which way are you pointing?" Symphony murmured curiously.

"Oh right! I'm pointing toward your front door!" Wingnut stated cheerfully. "Well how about you come for a drive with me anyway? If we don't get to where we're going in time for you to refuel I'll bring you back kay?"

Soundwave patiently reviewed the data being sent to him by the medic, paying only half attention to the conversations around him. It was distracting to say the least, the medic had devised a fascinating set of coding allowing for the bending of light to produce a human form that called upon the dimensions of the Cybertronian form. In short, it made men out of mechs.

Soundwave brought his new holoform online and scanned it critically. All coding was working properly.

::. Soundwave quick get rid of your slagging visor on the holoform and turn around! They're coming out!.:: Bumblebee sent with a chirping laugh. Obediently, Soundwave reached up and removed the optic coverings of the human variety as he turned, scanners and holoformatic eyes both turning to look at the human femme being led out of her front door by a Wrecker femme still wearing her brother's youngling armour.

(JPOV)

Jacobs stood and crossed his arms.

There were Decepticons in the NEST base. It didn't really matter that he was off duty now, he was on high alert. He couldn't help it.

He was also fully armed.

"What the slag are you doing in your armour?" Sunstreaker demanded. Jacobs jumped about a foot in the air. How the slag a seventeen foot mechanical being managed to constantly sneak up behind him was something he was going to demand to know next time said mechanical being was overcharged.

"Base is full of Decepticons," Jacobs grumbled, he shot a small glare up at Sunstreaker then shrugged. Getting through to Sunstreaker took some doing sometimes, and glaring didn't do jack shit.

"They're locked away in the brig," Sunstreaker grumbled right back at him.

"Oh really, so you're going to leave your cannons and blades in your quarters while they're here?" Jacobs shot back at the mech. He was tetchy, he couldn't help it.

The smallest mech in the brig topped ten feet. If they got out, shit was going down.

"They're not getting out and they're not gonna be there for much longer anyway," Sunstreaker shrugged. Jacobs turned and stared at the mech, his unlikely friend and comrade in arms smirked down at him. "Let me revise that statement. They're gone."

"They're WHAT!?" Jacobs bellowed. In an instant he had his weaponry online as he sprinted toward the brig. Ineffectively of course. In a moment he was in Sunstreaker's hands, his legs thrashing in the air as the mech idly carried him by the armpits.

"Sunstreaker what the slag is going on!?" Jacobs bellowed at his friend as the mech made his casual way to the brig.

True to his word, it was empty.

"Sunstreaker?" Optimus' voice rumbled in a warning tone.

"No problem boss," Sunstreaker drawled above him. Jacobs glowered around himself, glaring at the empty cells of the brig. "Jacobs was just running around the corridors with his guns out."

"Lieutenant Jacobs running with your weaponry in the base-" Prowl began.

"Where the slag did the Decepticons go!?" Jacobs bellowed.

Dead silence.

"Hey loo' at tha'! Th' cells ah empty!" Jazz' voice exclaimed cheerfully.

"Have you completely lost your Auto-bot minds!?" Jacobs bellowed at the mechs casually standing around the empty brig.

"If I may be excused Prime?" Prowl stated quietly, glancing at the door.

"Of course," Kae smiled at him. The enforcer, the logical one promptly abandoned the empty brig.

The empty brig that not twenty minutes ago had had dozens of Decepticons crammed into it's cells.

"Kae I'm begging you, what that fuck is happening!?" Jacobs damn near sobbed. Nothing made sense, the cells were empty and nobody else was panicking.

"It's okay Jacobs, Sentinel bridged them to the cells Gouger just finished preparing under the Nevada base," Kae told him placatingly.

Well.

That was a climactic letdown.

"You couldn't have just told me?" Jacobs immediately snarled, squirming in Sunstreaker's hands to glare at the shiny golden mech.

"It's more fun watching you panic, squishy." Sunstreaker informed him cheerfully.

"Just for that I'm not going to bother repairing that massive nick in your paint for you," Jacobs stated flatly. Lying, of course, there was no nick in Sunstreaker's perfect paint job.

But in a matter of seconds Jacobs was on his feet again, watching with a self-satisfied smirk as Sunstreaker fled the brig in search of his mirror and paintbrushes.

"Tha' was mean," Jazz informed him with a snort.

"That's what he gets for calling me squishy."