THANK YOU SO MUCH for all your feedback! I don't own anyone involved herein (unfortunately…wouldn't mind owning Hugh Laurie tho…). This is done for fun and if you sued, you'd just get a co-dependent black kitten with fleas.

Spoilers for: None really. Well, except for the bit that he didn't really know who ratted him out and I say he did (it's my story dammit!). This is just a House POV after he gets home. I'm going on about 3 hours sleep here. It's still freakin' dark out. So hopefully it'll make sense

Warnings: Don't take candy from strangers.

House sat on his sofa with his bad leg propped on the coffee table. Staring at the ceiling he was deciding was not a good distraction for the problem at hand.

Okay, you admitted you liked her. Now what do you do?

Paint the ceiling blue?

No, that's not going to help. If you can't come up with anything helpful, then stay out of my head.

Not gonna happen. You're talking to yourself. Someone needs to answer or there's no point.

What are you talking about?

Never mind. So as long as I'm stuck here in your head, let's talk about the problem at hand.

Painting the ceiling?

Actually, I was thinking about Dr. Cameron. She's cute, isn't she? And she's head over ears for you.

I'm her boss. It would never work. She just wants to change me into her ideal man. Probably have me shopping at Brooks Brothers and learning to cook.

You know how to cook.

You know what I mean.

Look, if the boss thing is a problem, have her transferred off your team. Fire her, put her somewhere else in the hospital. Vogler's happy and you can date her. Best of both worlds!

She's too good a doctor. I was thinking I'd let Chase go.

Well, you do have a point. You can't trust him anymore. I'd be willing to bet that he's counting on Vogler to save his job though. You probably can't fire him.

So maybe your plan will work. Nobody says I can't call her in for the occasional consult.

There's just one thing.

What? Now that you've given me the idea you're telling me it's no good?

Vogler hates you. He'll probably get her out of the hospital just to spite you.

Well shit.

My thoughts exactly.

I need a drink.

So do I. Make it a double. Oh, and feed the fish on your way past.

Damn, are they still alive? Why couldn't Stacy have taken it when she left? The damned thing was her idea in the first place!

There are only three left. They can't last forever.

Says you.

You could just stop feeding them and let them die.

Whilst I know the Hippocratic oath does not extend to aquatic life, I just can't murder three innocent fish.

You are so odd.

If I am, then you are too.

You're the one talking to yourself.

And you're answering. Pot? Kettle?

Fine, I'll stop then. You can just figure out Dr. Cameron on your own.

Thank you. So much.

End Chapter 2.

So, whatcha think? Should I continue? Constructive criticism/glowing reviews welcomed. Flames will be shared with friends, mocked and laughed at.

Note to Aridane: You bring up a good point. Just pretend that line read: "I was just getting ready to go in with a patient."