Title: Ordered Lives
Author: meroe
Summary: A what-if exploring the many sides of the possible if Edward remains Edward and breaks the status-quo.
Disclaimer: If it was mine, I wouldn't trouble clarifying their emotions for myself
A/N: Unfortunately, school and life comes first. It is our examination week in our university, and it's really busy with the upcoming fair. So forgive me if one chapter comes out after two, three days and nothing happens for a week. I will try my best to update on a more regular basis. The chapters were all planned. The only thing that keeps me from posting them is that they are unedited.
So, I know this is long overdue, but please enjoy.
Ordered Lives
Replacement
Forever be the sweetest
of all our love's refrain.
Let death be the tenure
And death part us in pain.
My first love had left me,
I lie in grieving pain.
Fate took its offer back
I couldn't love again.
So bring me to the moon,
Sweep me far beyond the sea.
Let me dream of heaven on,
But, what if, my first love calls me?
I shall love you as they say,
My heart I dare you lock.
Close the door and love shall latch.
But, what if, my true love knocks?
—First Love
meroe, 2004
--
Help. That was her story.
She must help someone because that was her purpose. Back then, it used to be Edward and Alphonse.
In truth, her tears were insufficient. She grew up with two stubborn boys who naturally refused to cry. So she often cried in their place, in a symbolic gesture to relieve them of burden that was the only thing she can do. Winry was a confined audience to their story; she watched them chase wild dreams in the prison they made for themselves. Philosopher's Stone? Was that really capable of granting anyone's wish? If so, she would support them. Then, maybe, she could wish to the stone to give her brothers back.
Was there such thing as unforgivable? she often thought. No matter how much good Ed and Al did, it was all canceled by the weight an 11-year old could never carry. Maybe that was why he broke down. But since he was Edward, even though broken, he'd be damned if he can't move forward with his life.
And how much suffering do they have to endure so their angered gods might be pacified?
In the end, she just had to believe the Elrics' theory was right. And hope that they would turn to her whenever they need comfort. It was sad how the story turned out.
--
After Alphonse followed his brother, Winry cried. No, those were tears of joy. Finally, their story ended. Quite happily. Afterall, Al got his body back. They were finally a family; a family she knew she can never be part of since the day they burned their house.
Somehow, she knew it would end that way. Some deep ache in her heart, it had always been there since she was young, like a silent siren she happily ignored to heed. She just prayed their time in that world will be happier than any they spent in Amestris. When the tears dried up, she moved on. She was Winry Rockbell, the Elrics' sister, and they taught her to be strong. She knew the brothers wanted her to live on. It would make them even happier if only they knew she was.
Finally she asked herself something she feared back then. What will she do now? But, it was easier to move on knowing that they were separated by the gulf of infinite space and time than just a stretch of land. Now, she would not be hurt if they did not return, simply because they no longer could.
In short, Winry was a happy and loving person. Until three years ago.
---
The night she tried to hurt Edward, Winry cried. She collapsed to the floor and cried in anguish, all the more painful because she can't cry out loud or her daughter will be troubled. Ever since Mark died she tried to be strong for Trisha. She tried so hard to command herself to apologize for what she said. She couldn't. She cried some more because she meant her words.
When her face felt rough from the dried-up tears, she calmed down. She opened the third drawer on her desk and pulled out an old notebook from it. Somewhere along, she learned that writing heals. Since her years of hard concentration to accept the fact they are not coming back, that notebook was witness to her emotional ordeal. She shuffled through its pages and read some entries, as if refreshing her memory as to what her life had been.
My name is Winry Rockbell. But I plan on changing that to Elric. I loved him so much it would qualify me to be his wife—
The first entry read.
I met Mark Rother three years ago. He was a lieutenant in the army under nobody's command. If you're thinking he was similar to Edward, you are wrong. He was so different. Mark was not an alchemist. We met in Rush Valley because of our mutual love for mechanics. He was gentle and kind, and open about his feelings. He was cool and determined. Spirited and brave.
His courage never failed him. That is why he's dead.
Just a month before our marriage, he was called to escort the convoy of the ministers going in a conference. Somebody opened fire and he retorted. He hit the man's leg and the man was disabled. They did not notice an accomplice until a bullet bore through Mark's head.
It was written after Mark's burial. And it seemed to her empty. It even sounded detached. The deep anguish that was there when she wrote the entry was gone. She closed the notebook. That was the last. After Mark's death, she never recovered from the feeling of betrayal by a higher order that commanded her stupid destiny. Being widowed twice. But she was never married before.
She tried to go to sleep.
--
The next morning, she tried to apologize for her outburst but Edward was gone. Again.
---
Edward walked the distance of that dark alley. That was a pretty convenient place for murder. No living soul could hear any whispered cry for help.
He stopped short of a door that looked like a back entrance to a pub. He looked up. Third window from the left of the broken pipe in the second floor. That must be the place.
After a few minutes, Rosé came out of the door. She smiled to him which Edward returned in half. She motioned for him to follow her, and they continued the remaining length of that malodorous alley until they reached a dead end. It was a typical scene for nighttime drama: boxes piled on top of each other, stacked against the wall, near a lamppost that dims every fifteen seconds. They sat down.
They did not look at each other. Rosé remained staring at the darkness from where they came from.
"Are you alright?"
"Yeah." Rose closed her hands on top of his. Edward did not do anything. For a few minutes, they sat there holding hands.
"You can talk to me, Ed."
"What?"
Edward pulled his hand away. "You just have to let it out."
"I don't know what to let out."
Rosé smiled and held his hand again. No objection. Edward just sat there, trying hard not to feel anything or imagine a scene. He should feel something about a woman holding his hand, right? He didn't know what at the moment. He looked at their hands, then to Rose's face. He jumped away and instinctively transmuted his automail arm.
"Oh, you can't do that without this, can you?" came a teasing voice that Ed knew too well.
"You," he seethed at the seated figure of Rosé, holding his silver clock. His eyes widened. He clapped his hand and attempted to imprison her in a metal cage, but she only laughed shrilly. "You wouldn't do that anymore, would you? You know it takes the lives of friends you left back there—" Ed launched at her. "That was close," the woman said as she changed into a distinct form of Winry.
Edward looked at her. "Envy," he seethed in what he hoped was his most poisonous voice.
"Congratulations, you're correct." She sneered as she blocked Ed's blows with a wrench. "Sorry your girlfriend didn't wait for you, shorty. That was some dreadful fight you had." Edward managed a blow that landed squarely on her face. Envy looked royally annoyed and kicked his shin. Ed gasped and turned around quickly.The homonculuswas sitting on top of the wall near the lamppost.
"A pity, really," he said all the while sneering, curling the chain of his clock around his fingers. "You screwed up your life by yourself this time."
---
Edward opened his eyes. It wasn't as worse as the ones with his mother smiling to him, bleeding and asking him why he can't make her right. But still.
He stared blankly at the ceiling, trying to imagine its difference with the one in their apartment back in Munich. He went back because none matched to his Winry he left home. But that was no longer his Winry. His Winry never purposely faked a smile
Or was that still Winry? Of course. He just conveniently forgot people change. Was her grief that much — more importantly — did he hurt her that much, that she was forced to change this way? He shifted to his right and stared at the lamp. Who was Mark? Was her grief for him or for that Mark? He was not certain who he want it to be, he didn't want to hurt Winry. Sure he had fun teasing her when they were children. He would even make her cry. But those tears were supposed to be shallow. They weren't supposed to hurt.
Some raw feeling deadened his chest. Seeing her cry her that much for another man. Just seeing her cry. And seeing her hate him when she could even forgive Mustang.
Suddenly, the window rapped. He jerked up. "Al?" he called. Al had been acting weird lately. If he knew better, he was probably trying to contact Winry. When there was no answer, he got up.
He carefully scanned the balcony. "Whoever is out there better scram away!" Ed shouted, trying to sound as threatening as possible. Naturally, there was no reply and he glared hatefully in some random direction.
It did not work. H seriously gone had gone soft in Munich; he could even control his mouth. He latched the balcony door.
Two roofs away, a man pocketed a binocular. Another picked up the phone. "Indeed sir. Golden hair and golden eyes. It seems that the Fullmetal Alchemist had returned for real," came the whispered smile.
---
"He's no longer here," Winry said dismissively to the air. The phone kept ringing.
She paused from her work. She was sure the call was for him again. It had all been for the last four, five days. She continued tightening a bolt. The phone kept ringing.
"Geez. Edward were have you been?" she asked no one in particular. She placed down her wrench and picked up the phone.
"Hello. Rockbell Automail Service. How may I help—"
She listened to a grainy voice in the other line. After a while, she smiled. "I remember you, hey."
For some minutes, she stood there mindlessly spouting random 'yes' 'yep' and 'that's right,' twirling the cord as she did so. Suddenly, her amused face grew serious.
"Where to?" she asked. "Why? Central?"
"Why can't you tell me?" she paused. The other line replied. She looked from her window. "Yes, everything's fine here," she said, watching the kids play outside. Rosé was gone to the market. It was Tuesday noon.
She withdrew her look. A look of deep concern was marked in her face. "Please tell me what is this all about." The line was cut. No sooner did she put down the receiver when the two kids happily ran inside the house, chasing each other for a particularly gross insect with its insides dangling out. Which was very lucky. Winry was about to say something about not bringing stuff like that inside the house when it went off.
The children screamed in terror. She instinctively ran to cover them from broken shards of glass that flew like daggers in the air. Her heart beat wildly in her chest, amid the echo of multiple gunshots fired in close range. Outside, the dog managed a strangled yelp Winry never thought it capable with its age.
"DEN!"
End of Part I
Edit: Alas! After many tries, I fixed the problem with the space. If every scene since chapter 1 seemed mixed up (since there were no space indicators), you can reread it now. I fixed it, I hope.
A/N: Yay! I just love my reviewers! Since this is a story about love, I know it's ambitious as it's my first try. But you people just keep me going. I promise I'll do my best!
Though not imperative, it's better to read "The Price of Love" along with this chapter to better understand Winry's feelings for Edward.
This chapter is dedicated to:
ChibiRacoon
Yah, I meant that one! Anyway, thanks for the review. I hope you like this one. Sorry its late.
Yami and Ryoko
Yay, I'm happy you liked that drama. And I'm so sorry it took me quite sometime to update. I promise this was ready three days ago. I just haven't got around uploading it. Sorry! …
And thanks so much for your earlier review! "Just enough of background, yet not spending paragraphs and pages discussing it."
Yay! I'm so relieved. Thanks! Please keep on reviewing, your reviews are really helpful, my friend!
animeaddict99
Oh, thanks! Please keep on reading it! I'm so sorry it took so much time. And I apologize if the turnout of this chapter does not justify its delay (sweatdrops). I hope you like it.
Seruleyan-Wings
Yay! Thanks for doing that! Knowing people who like your story keeps a writer going. I'm sorry I haven't e-mailed you earlier. I promise I will contact you as soon as my professors give me the time. Really, they demand so much!
Seriously, if I inspired you whatsoever () I'm SOO fulfilled. I mean, it's not everyday that someone says 'you've inspired me', right? Thanks! I'm glad I got them IC. Honestly, this is my first attempt at a multi-chapter. Anyway, I can't put too much in here, so I'll just send you a message. Yay! So many thanks, really! It's the first time I got such a review!
f-zelda
Thanks for liking the story! Gyah, and so sorry it took me so long to update. EdWin rock on! Haha! Though I admit there haven't been any romance going on yet. I promise to bring them out around chap 7. Keep on reading it, thanks!
incognito panda
Yay, did I pull that drama right? Yah, so happy… Thanks for reading and reviewing! And yep, still more drama coming up!
Loki-The-Chocobo
…WOot. Sniff sniff. Thanks for the review, Loki. Nothing much to say. It justified my chapter and kept me going. Sniff, thanks. Please continue your support guys. Just tell me what you think.
LonelyLord
Yeah, I agree. When I thought about it, I suppose Winry can think about that line, but she can't say it out loud to Edward. I know she can't say such harsh words, but she did anyway. Let's just suppose Winry's temporarily out of her mind. I will be if a ghost of my past reappears a time when I can no longer trust love.
A lot of things happened.
Thanks so much for constantly reviewing my works! Yay, you're so nice, helping me all the way.
La Dame du Lac
Sigh. Glad I made it. . I hope you like this one too. Take care!
cartoonwatcher31
Yay! I'm sorry (I know I've said that a lot of times now) it took me time. I hope that won't drag you down. I was so worried it would make you guys disappointed at me. . Anywayz, here's another. Please keep on reading. I'll do my best not to take this much time again.
Shir0-ChaN
Yep, that one's sad. Ed's really depressed and stuff. I entirely sympathize. I was also depressed with the ending. I mean, come on! What kind of ending was that! After all the pain and effort they exerted, it still wouldn't turn out the way they wanted? A part of me wants to believe that in the end, man is justly rewarded with that for which he toiled so hard for.
Anyway, thanks so much! I'll repeat my line (I'm really bothered by it): I apologize it took time. Huhuhu.
Again, I apologize it took time. However (/evil grin/), whether or not I'll finish Part II that soon depends on your feedback. I told you I appreciate it, it's what keeps me going. When someone likes your story, an author is forced to work his imagination.
So thanks for reading. And kindly REVIEW.