I Will Remember You

See Prologue for Disclaimer

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Tuesday, March 25, 1986

"A roaring fire, handcuffs, just the two of us . . . I bet your old boyfriend, Don was never this romantic."

Amanda rolled her eyes and yanked hard on his belt.

"Hey! Watch it!"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Lee, I can do this." She fiddled at his belt again, being careful not to poke him further. Although, right about now one good strategically placed jab would make her happier.

"Is that what you told Billy at the crack of dawn this morning? That you could 'handle' this assignment?"

She kept her eyes on the task of removing his belt, but sensed his eyes burning into her. Why did he have to smell so good? Focus, Amanda!

She slid her hand around his trim waist, one finger slipped under the waistband of his slacks and grazed the smooth skin, and he inadvertently shivered. Her eyes widened and she nervously moistened her lips.

"Amanda?" His voice was softer.

She frantically pulled the belt through the final loop as her eyes met his warm stare. "I told you I would see this through. I may not be the calm and collected agent that Francine is, but . . ." She bit her bottom lip. "I can do this, Lee."

"I know, but–"

Sweat dripped down her back, the heat of the fire reminded her of the necessary urgency, and she jammed the metal tongue of the belt into the handcuff. Why did the bad guys always have to make bad situations even worse? Wasn't it enough that they are handcuffed to a heavy piece of machinery in an empty warehouse? No, there had to be an out of control fire added to the mix. The boom of another barrel of fuel exploding a few feet away made her jump.

"And I meant it, Lee." With one final twist of the metal she was free from the confines of the cuff. "Got it!"

"Good! Now get these things off me, huh? That fire's getting a little too close!" Sweat dripped off his brow.

"Right!" She worked quickly to free him while trying to block out the pending doom the fire presented. "Almost . . . there." The click of the last lock snapping open was music to her ears.

"Okay, now I want you to get out of here and take Sleeping Beauty with you." He indicated the man beginning to stir on the floor. "Don't let him of your sight. After the number his partner did on him, I don't think we'll have to work too hard to get him to spill his guts."

Amanda nodded and stepped over to help the man up. The whoosh of the fire extinguisher drowned out Lee's footsteps as he hurried after the manuscript. Acrid smoke filled her lungs and the heavy air made it impossible to breathe. The heat spurred her into gear, but the other guy was still too woozy to give much help. Amanda knew the importance of getting him to safety and in custody, especially if Lee was unsuccessful in finding his partner with the manuscript. The trip nearly took longer than she, or her lungs, could bear.

Moments later she was encircled by a swarm of agents, who took custody of her ward. This left her free to go back into the building to find Lee, but was stopped by a fireman.

The wait was agonizing. Finally, she saw Lee's soot-laden form escape the building. Their eyes met, and he shrugged indicating his own disappointment. She nodded in understanding, then gently smiled to reassure him. Rushing toward him, his eyes reflected a look of such despondence that it chilled her. She recognized it: he believed he had failed her. The feeling was almost palpable. When she finally reached him, she threw her arms around him but he stiffened and pulled away. Amanda felt like she'd just arrived at school in her underwear and, since the ground refused to open up and swallow her, she decided to hand Lee his belt. "Here you go. It's a bit mangled but you could probably get it fixed."

"Are you okay?" Lee asked. When she nodded, he continued, "Look Amanda, I'm going to need to stick around a while. Why don't you have Billy take you back to the Agency?" He turned around and sauntered over to a group of fireman, leaving Amanda holding his mangled belt.

She inwardly groaned. One more layer of brick had been placed in his carefully crafted wall of defense.

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Remember the good times that we had?
I let them slip away from us when things got bad
How clearly I first saw you smilin' in the sun
Wanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the one

Later that evening . . .

Amanda looked extremely distraught. Lee was only getting snippets of the conversation as she told her mother the truth about her secret life. The strain in Amanda's voice indicated that this was tearing her up inside.

She had always hated lying to her family, especially to her mother, and now coming face-to-face with the effects of that deceit was killing her. He thought her knees were going to buckle when Phillip and Jamie ran upstairs in tears a few minutes earlier. A flash of the Colonel coming into his room to inform him they were being transferred yet again played before him. He wouldn't wish that on anyone, especially two innocent boys.

His heart ached as Amanda fell all over herself trying to make Dotty understand. Why hadn't Billy sent someone with her to help explain things? Of course, then he might be inside sitting next to Amanda on the couch instead of out here on her back porch watching it all unfold. He couldn't handle that right now. She needed a clean break from him—and he from her.

He squirmed in his hunkered down position outside the French doors of the den where he could pick up most of the conversation while watching through the slight opening in the curtain. They had started in the kitchen, but when Amanda had gotten into the heart of the matter they made their way to the family room. Dotty paced a bit before finally seeking refuge in the wing-back chair next to the couch. Her body language screamed anger and hurt. Amanda was obviously picking up on this as well. She sat with her head in her hand and he found a terrible tenseness in his body. She didn't deserve this. The only thing she had done wrong was trust him.

Amanda's anguished cry pulled him from his thoughts, and he strained to hear.

"Of course, I thought about them! Mother, I know that you're upset, but please understand that I truly hated lying to you. I wanted to tell you so many times, but I just couldn't." Amanda tried to move closer to her mother, but Dotty stood and turned away. Every fiber of his being screamed at him to go to Amanda and comfort her. Thankfully, he remembered he was the reason she was in this mess and stretched his legs before squatting back down again to listen.

Dotty whirled around. "National security! Yes, you mentioned that. I'm your mother, young lady! How could you have this secret life and not tell me? Traipsing around God only knows where playing spy. You're a mother of two small boys!"

"Mother, please sit down." Amanda reached for Dotty and she didn't pull away.

That's right, calm her down and then explain it to her, Amanda. If she could calm him down, she could certainly handle Dotty West.

"I know this is a lot to take all at once. I really did have the best intentions in joining the Agency. I've tried to make it a safer place for the boys and you." The past few days had caught up with her. Her voice was erratic and there were circles under her eyes. God only knew when the last time she had gotten a good night's sleep. She continued. "That day at the train station when that man asked for my help, I just couldn't say no. His eyes . . ." Lee fought down a wave of apprehension at her words and strained to hear more but she never finished her thought. Disappointment ran through him.

Dotty sucked in a breath and cupped her hand to her mouth as if she'd just had an epiphany. "That day you came home and rushed us off to Uncle Herman's! You said there was a bomb . . ."

Amanda nodded. "I was telling the truth. I needed to know you and the boys would be safe." She wiped the tears from her face.

"Amanda, how dangerous is this job? Have you ever been hurt? What's going to happen to us in this 'relocation program' of yours?" Dotty was now sitting next to her daughter clasping her hand.

Amanda's gaze briefly fell on the kitchen window. "I'm protected by the best. No, not seriously hurt. And we'll be sent to a new city and given new identities. It'll be like starting over, Mother. You've always talked about doing that."

"Not like this! There's always a tall, dark, handsome stranger in my romance novels."

"I know it's not ideal but it's what has to be done." Licking her lips, she pulled on her pendant and slid it back and forth on its chain. "Maybe I never should have taken that package in the first place; I don't know anymore! We tried so hard to get a hold of that book. We really did, but . . ." She shook her head.

Lee leaned back against the doorframe and squeezed his eyes shut. But I failed you, the voice inside him screamed and he was suddenly anxious to escape the scene. She didn't need him hanging around. He only brought her pain. The clap of thunder and rolling clouds added to his dreary mood.

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TBC . . .