A/N: Hey All, I'm sorry it's taken this long to update once more. What can I say? Over the past year life threw me into a whirlwind of love, interprovincial relocation and heartbreak. I will also be beginning a revision-upload of this entire story soon. For you re-readers you shouldn't notice too much terribly different. -XO Kae
Chapter 220 – The Vexation of Processors
(RPOV)
Ratchet shook his helm slightly and started at the difference in time passed noted by his logs and chronometer. He glanced down and snapped his optics right back up front and centre.
It couldn't be.
He glanced down again and whimpered slightly, making a point of not looking at his own chest and servos.
He was covered in crusty white patches in a fractal pattern. But he couldn't be, it was just his optics playing tricks on him, that's all. Ratchet cycled his optics - then his processors for good measure - and looked down again. The crusty whiteness was still there with absolutely none of the sloppiness he typically acquainted with somebot having painted him.
There was no telling how long the empty gap in his recorded memories really was, his chronometer might have paused after all, and if the humans had initiated their self-annihilation sequence an EM burst might have knocked him out… it really could be creeping salt rot! Worse yet if it was it was a rapidly spreading case of it! The most severe he'd ever seen… he flinchingly scanned himself and synced his processors in relief, sagging on his bench.
Paint and sand, it was only Switch, and Switch had got him good.
"What the frag!? How in slagging pitfire am I pink!?" Ironhide's voice roared from the entrance bay. "What are you grinning at rainbow aft!? That's what I thought! Ratchet!" Ratchet rolled his optics. "Ratchet!? Where are you?" Ironhide bellowed.
"Where else am I ever?" Ratchet demanded in his normal, grumpy tone; turning back to the project which had been interrupted by Switch's visit and scrutinizing the warped strut. He looked up in alarm the next second at the high pitched squeal of fear behind him.
"Oh no Ratchet! Ratchet it's gonna be okay," Ironhide half sobbed, catching hold and bodily lifting him onto the med-berth. "It hasn't reached your chamber yet we still got time! Kae! Niece! GET YOUR AFT TO MED-BAY!"
"Ironhide it's paint!" Ratchet snapped irritably, working to bat the weapons master off. "And for the sixteenth time Ironhide! You don't touch a bot infected with salt rot unless you want it to spread to your own frame!" he carried on, drawing his favourite wrench from subspace and repeatedly whacking Ironhide with it to punctuate his point.
He felt quite a bit better now, actually, and there were younglings on the base that were either as knowledgable as he on the appearance of salt-rot or about to learn it in the best possible way.
::. Jolt, Lena, Bumblebee, Sunstreaker, Sideswipe, Skids, Mudflap, Wingnut, Longbolt, will you come to the med-bay, please?.:: Ratchet sent in his absolute best, most patient, kindly-old-medic tone.
::. Whassup boss-bot?.:: Mudflap replied curiously.
::. It would seem that Switch has finally visited us, and I want to be certain that you all know how to deal with the disease you kindly painted onto my armour before I wash it off.::
"Man! I told you nobot could get a prank past Ratchet!" Skids' voice commented just outside the door with a broad grin.
"No, Sunstreaker did," Longbolt retorted with a snort.
"What did you do?" Anabelle's voice asked innocently.
"Nothing of importance," Sunstreaker shrugged before momentarily poking his helm around the doorframe. "Wrench in servo! Retreat!"
Ratchet glanced at the wrench in his hand and snorted in amusement, idly depositing it back into his subspace.
"Coast is clear!" he called out in amusement, a number of little helms poked cautiously around the doorframe the next moment before the younglings piled into his med-bay.
"You aren't mad?" Wingnut asked shyly, seemingly in counterpart to the strained look in Lena's optics.
"That Switch is still crossing the barrier between our dimension and the Well?" Ratchet asked in tolerant amusement, catching and holding Lena's optics. "When I was your age the fledging of the banshee-hawks was cause for orns of celebration, and the privilege of being numbered among Switch's emissaries highly coveted."
"Hrmph," Ironhide grunted irritably, crossing his servos and looking away. Lena flinched somewhat away from the weapons master and Ratchet rolled his optics, retrieving his wrench from subspace and lobbing it at his oldest friend. As expected, a shout of pain erupted from the occasionally black mech.
"Shut up Ironhide," Ratchet stated idly.
"I didn't say any slagging thing and I'm pink!" Ironhide snarled, rubbing at his helm.
"You're just upset that you've actually managed to get old enough to freeze when Switch comes calling," Ratchet snorted in amusement. "You should be happy to be pink again Ironhide, it means the younglings vouched for your cantankerous old aft."
"Mrnph," Ironhide shrugged in grudging agreement, crossing his servos again.
"I still don't get it," Lena murmured with a little frown.
Ratchet smiled and settled a bit more comfortably on his own med-berth, gesturing the younglings to gather around him.
"Switch was the younger sibling of a Prime long past…" he began with a smile.
"That's what Optimus said," Lena frowned.
"Did he tell you the whole story?" Ratchet asked in amusement.
"Just that Switch still comes anytime a newly fledged banshee-hawk screams," Lena replied with that same frown.
"I wanna hear the story!" Anabelle stated cheerfully. Ratchet smiled as Sunstreaker nodded to him and quickly murmured the abbreviated version into his reliant's ear.
"But the first time he crossed the barrier is where our traditions come from," Ironhide chuckled, stomping over and settling on the berth beside Ratchet with a contented grunt. "Y'see when Switch first crossed the barrier nobot froze at the scream of a banshee hawk, the hawks themselves hunted silently back then, 'cause they didn't wanna scare their prey into hiding."
"When Switch first returned from the Well he was bodiless and disoriented. It was the first true banshee-hawk who took pity on him and shared it's spark chamber with him," Ratchet stated patiently. "At Switch's behest, the hawk took great pains to find his brother, calling to his own brethren to help aid in finding a home for the lost spark. When the hawks finally located him, Switch saw the enemies of the Prime surrounding his brother and their family. Helplessly, he screamed his rage and fear for them, trying to warn them against the ambush; thus it was Switch who vocalized the first freezing scream of the banshee-hawks." Ratchet smiled at the fascinated cybertronian and human younglings.
"And the paint?" Lena asked curiously.
"Welp, before he'd been killed, Switch'd pranked his family: Painting their armour all type of brilliant colours," Ironhide picked up the story gruffly. "Normally they would'a cleansed the prank from their frames immediately, but in the midst of their grief at the loss of Switch they didn't bother, it was one of the final things they had to remember him by."
"In the midst of his disorientation, that was how Switch recognized his family, and the banshee-hawks took to the distinction with great alacrity," Ratchet continued with a smile. "They hunted and killed the unpainted and frozen mechs menacing the Prime and his brightly coloured unit. The Prime was the eldest, and as he always had, he remained stalwart amidst the screams of his brother, recognizing the spark riding in the chamber of a young Banshee-hawk. It was that Prime who first knelt before the grounded banshee-hawk," he smiled, rising and kneeling in front of Lena, reaching out and cupping her shoulders. "And it was that Prime who recognized our kinship, and greeted the hawks as the kin of the Primes, ∂Revered Banshee-hawk∂." he finished, nodding formally to the femme. "I have not had the privilege nor even the chance to tell this story for many vorn, Lena, but now, because of you: To this orn, the younglings paint the armour of their revered elders and loved ones who freeze at the cry of the hawks: To mark them as kin to Switch."
(OPOV)
Optimus scanned the area and vented a sigh.
Once again, there was no space within the immediate vicinity large enough for him to park. At least, nowhere but for the fire lane.
Again.
He scanned the area once more and parked, practically straddling the very water source for the building in which he was almost late for a meeting. Optimus sighed and shook his helm somewhat, at the very least he would be able to monitor the area's fire alarms... Optimus synced his processors and blinked his holoform to the antechamber in which Director Mearing's aide received guests.
"She says go on in," the aide stated, barely glancing up at him. Optimus nodded his thanks and strode through the door, announcing his presence by opening the portal.
"I love it how you're always on time," the director murmured, not even looking up as she finished writing on one of the reams of data-work; she signed it and tucked the document into it's folder. "Now, Sentinel's symposium has almost run it's course, I assume he will return to Cybertron the moment he is free to," Director Mearing stated calmly, looking up at his holo from her papers, only a mild flash of surprise and curiosity crossed the woman's face.
"Less so," Optimus rumbled patiently, moving to sit at the woman's gesture. "Sentinel has now found his spark-mate among the human populace-"
"Has he now?" Charlotte asked interestedly. "Her name?"
"Shyamala Kulkarni, British citizen," Optimus reported patiently.
"By chance related to Sujay Rakesh from Dongagaran?" Director Mearing asked idly.
"I am uncertain," Optimus replied calmly.
Charlotte simply nodded.
"Where's Kae today?"
"She is attending to the fireworks and drama of our unit," Optimus rumbled with a little smile.
"The what?" Charlotte asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Lena accidentally froze the majority of base with her shriek last evening, the younglings took advantage of it - as is our tradition," Optimus chuckled. "It is my Kae's turn to quiet the resulting fallout; I am to convey her greetings and apologies for sending an envoy rather than being here in person."
"That's fine," Charlotte shrugged, a small smile tugging at her lips.
"See, now look at this Thom, the guy doesn't even give a shit," a voice commented irritably beside him. Optimus idly brushed the men with his scanners. A pair of officers of the law.
"You have my oath, Sir, that should this space be required for the usage of your earthen fire trucks I will move immediately." Optimus rumbled patiently.
"I beg your pardon?" Director Mearing demanded with a frown.
"My apologies, Director Mearing," Optimus stated calmly, refocusing his attention on the woman seated behind her desk in front of his holoform. "There is an officer currently offering to tow me away at the moment-"
"For christ sake Sawyer, now the damned thing is set up to mock us!" the second stated in a disgusted tone.
"I most certainly am not!" Optimus stated indignantly.
"Now what?" Charlotte asked in a tone struggling to not be amused.
"The Officer believes me to be mocking him," Optimus rumbled irritably.
"So transform," Charlotte shrugged. Optimus nodded.
"Excuse me, Director," he rumbled patiently, rising and blinking his holoform offline.
"I think we should issue the ticket and add a charge of contempt," Thom stated irritably, smacking a slip of paper onto his windshield. Optimus chose that moment to transform, the pheromones of fear and stress immediately flooding the area as he rose to his full height. "What the hell!?" the man bellowed. Optimus rolled his optics and knelt down, carefully bringing his face to the humans' level.
"I mean you no harm, and it is not my intent to prevent your emergency services from attending to a fire," Optimus rumbled patiently, looking at the men. Or trying, anyway, the parking ticket was fluttering on his optic wiper. "However I can... assure you that.." he blinked a couple of times, his vision blurring somewhat as he did. The little flap of paper refused to dislodge. "I would offer... and provide... any help that I could..."
"What the hell is going on here!?" Director Mearing demanded, striding toward him.
"Ma'am you need to step back-" Sawyer began warningly, striding toward her.
"The hell I do," Charlotte stated flatly, shoving past the officer. The man promptly attempted to catch her wrist, only to wind up on the ground in submission.
"Get down on the ground!" Thom bellowed the next second, drawing his sidearm and aiming at the woman. "Get down on the ground now!" Optimus glanced at the weapon and noted with a tiny amount of approval that his finger was properly stretched along the barrel.
Away from his trigger.
"Let's try this again," the Director stated coldly, slowly reaching for her hip, and lightly tugging her identification card from her pocket by it's clip. "Charlotte Mearing, Director of the NSA. If you shoot me you'll be charged with treason and the big guy over there would very kindly provide the video evidence at the trial."
Good point. Optimus idly logged the past four breem and added an annotation to note the final in particular. He blinked a couple of times more and scowled somewhat.
The paper refused to dislodge, and the vision in his left optic was now definitely blurred.
"Ma'am!" Thom stated instantly, lowering his weapon as Sawyer quickly rose and joined his partner.
"Don't call me ma'am, I'm not a ma'am," Charlotte stated irritably.
"Would you prefer sir?" the younger asked curiously, only to be lightly cuffed upside the helm by the older.
"I would prefer 'Director.'" Charlotte stated flatly.
Optimus blinked his holoform online and scowled.
"What's wrong with your face?" Charlotte asked with a frown.
"There is something on my optic," Optimus grumbled irritably.
"It's not just his face, his entire left side is whacked!" the younger of the two commented in a stunned tone.
"Just how long have you been on this particular beat?" Charlotte asked in an exasperated tone.
"Today?"
"In general."
"Same answer," the older murmured in an embarrassed tone.
"Then we'll make a deal, you drop the assault, and I won't have you arrested for accosting an honoured diplomat?" Charlotte asked sternly, crossing her arms.
"Deal," Sawyer nodded warily.
"Good," Director Mearing stated sternly. "And if you find yourselves walking this beat again gentlemen, please recognize that the Autobots are frequently present in this area and not just vehicles set up with recordings to mock you?"
"Yes ma'am," the two stated in unison, the younger straightening slightly.
"Good. You're dismissed gentlemen."
Optimus watched the pair make an about face, continuing on their way and shrugged, looking at the Director.
"What the hell do you have on your eye that would cause that?" the woman asked with a frown, eyeing his holo.
Optimus blinked and scowled at the slip of paper, reaching to carefully try to pluck it free and poking himself in the optic in the process.
"Ow! Slaggit!" he snarled. "This is why I do not like off-base office meetings with humans in holoform!"
"Why didn't you just use your holo?" Charlotte asked curiously.
"Because it does not feel right," Optimus rumbled irritably, he and his holoform promptly initiating a scowling contest; he at the holo, and the holo at the parking slip. "Self-maintenance utilizing a holoform is absurdly difficult. Not even Sunstreaker attempts to do so."
"Then how do you intend to get that off of your eye?" Charlotte asked in an amused tone.
"I shall have to impose upon my mate," Optimus rumbled with a sigh, his Kae was going to laugh at him.
"Julie bring me some windex and paper towel," Charlotte stated in an amused tone. Optimus looked at the femme curiously, she had her phone up to her ear once more. In a matter of minutes another femme was jogging toward them, carrying the items in question.
"I am not your wife, so you can come down here if you want that off," Charlotte informed him in an irritable tone. Optimus obligingly laid down, resting his chin on the concrete.
"Thank you," he rumbled quietly, blinking the holo out before offlining the optic. In a matter of seconds a little tug indicated the loss of parking ticket. Optimus flinched slightly as cold sprayed onto his optic, there was now liquid dripping down onto his cheek...
"It's not stinging is it?" Charlotte asked worriedly.
"No, it is simply cold," Optimus murmured, noting the light pressure sensation of his optic now being wiped dry. Charlotte backed into the short visual range of his right optic and Optimus immediately brought the left back online.
Blessedly clear vision.
"Thank you," Optimus rumbled with a relieved sigh, pushing himself to his feet and returning to his alt-mode. He blinked his holoform online and nodded to the Director, the woman examining the holo critically.
"You're a bit fuzzy on the right now, but we'll let your mate attend to that," Charlotte stated musingly, looking him over for another moment. Optimus glanced at his chronometer. "That's quite the paint-job, did you know you're covered in rainbows?" Optimus glanced at his paintwork and smiled.
"Certainly, the younglings were kind enough to vouch for me in Switch's optics. If memory serves you summoned me for an hour, which has now passed. Was there anything more you wished to discuss before - hrm," he cleared his throat to suggest the upcoming meeting without stating it aloud. He watched the Director carefully for a moment, privately wondering if she would understand the unspoken message. To his joy, recognition dawned in her eyes. It had taken his mate an hour to teach him to do it properly, and he was thrilled to do her proud.
"No, thank you for coming down," Director Mearing replied calmly, reaching forward. Automatically, Optimus shook her hand with the holoform's.
"Then I shall bid you good orn," Optimus rumbled formally, nodding to her before winking his holoform offline. He started his engine up with a bit of relief and made tracks for base.
Figuratively speaking, of course.
Optimus brought an extra processor online as a thought occurred to him: There was little wonder his Kae so detested driving when she was so often bound to the laws of the human's inner-city roads… he made a note to tease his Kae into racing him over rough terrain; she had always preferred it as a human.
(PPOV)
Prowl paced his office at the end of the human's Thursday. Colonel Lennox was thankfully playing with his newly returned femme creation in the human's quarters, and not there to witness him pacing.
Or worse yet, join him.
Their office really was only so big, after all. It was thus that when the Colonel paced, Prowl stayed sat on his bench for fear of stepping on the human in the midst of his own brown studies.
The twins had officially completed two school-trips apiece to much rave review of the child. Reviews which had substantially lessened the visible 'weight' upon the Colonel's shoulders. The certainty of guardianship suited the human, it showed very predictably in his work - and for the twins' sake Prowl hoped that Sarah was as pleased.
"Why are you pacing Prowl?" Barricade asked curiously, finally looking up from his data and sending his reports both to the Primes and to the pertinent humans. Prowl looked at the mech and rolled his optics somewhat; Barricade was still cheerfully sporting the bright rainbow of paints vouching for him in Switch's optics.
"The Lady High Protector did not mention your transgression against her sire prior to your confession and subsequent arrests. I had assumed she did not know," Prowl stated with a frown.
"She knew?" Barricade asked with a frown.
"Colonel Lennox knew... perhaps I made a judgement error in that he may have simply assumed that she knew?" Prowl muttered, turning around and resuming his pacing.
"She couldn't have known," Barricade scowled. "If she had known she would have killed me by now… slag it all I was banking on them not knowing!" Barricade fretted. "The auto-bot's movements were so restricted back then I'd assumed the human channels had made it through to her that the humans had done it..."
"Except Colonel Lennox led me to believe that she had known," Prowl stated flatly.
Silence.
"Well, we're pretty much slagged either way, best go figure out for which reason we're slagged and by what degree," Barricade announced, rising to his feet.
"You're going to ask her?" Prowl asked with a raised optic ridge.
"No, I'm going ask the Colonel, where is he?" Barricade asked, glancing at the man's desk.
"Excellent idea," Prowl grinned, settling down onto his newly vacated bench. "Holoform to section B ground floor," he added, winking his holo to the spot in question, just outside of the medic's quarters.
"Whoa! Watch where you're blinkin' Prowl! I almost clipped you!" Lieutenant Gardner stated cheerfully, delicately walking around him with a double armload of rifles.
"That is an improper manner for which to bear firearms. I do hope that those are unloaded," Prowl stated frostily.
"Sure they are, I think..." the human stated in a suddenly confused tone. "Actually wait no... two are still loaded and one's jammed-"
According to Soundwave's most up-to-date specifications, the most effective way to penetrate Kaon would entitle... Slag. Pause, save progress.
System reboot yes/no.
Yes.
Prowl promptly blacked for a nano-click before Barricade was tapping his helm. The second his optics were online he had his holo beside Gardner.
"Lieutenant Gardner!" Prowl barked irritably.
"I was kidding Prowl, you missed me asking you to calculate the probability of my getting shot by my own stupidity," Gardner informed him gravely.
"Given the various positions of the rifles I'd estimate an eight percent chance of you shooting yourself, and a seventy-two percent chance of someone else being grievously injured," Prowl grumbled irritably.
"The rifles are unloaded," Barricade informed him. Prowl turned around and looked up.
"Use your holoform," Prowl stated in an amused tone.
Barricade rolled his optics and projected a flickering image in front of himself.
"Mine doesn't exactly go out of line of sight, Prowl," Barricade stated in an irritated tone. The holo barely moved but to slowly glance to the side and back.
::. Ratchet, Barricade requires a holoform.:: Prowl sent over the primary, he smirked a little when Barricade jumped, obviously receiving the hyper-fast and none-too-gentle data-packet the medic sent anytime he was deeply engrossed in a task and didn't wish to be interrupted.
The moustachioed, upright and perfectly stereotypical 'eighties patrolman' promptly winked out, replaced moments later by a clean cut, thirty-odd human male built not unlike many of the soldiers on base, clad in a modified police officer's uniform with a neutral expression on it's face. It became animated a moment later, the 'form looking at his own hands before feeling his face.
"This isn't half bad," Barricade grinned, looking up at them. "It's almost like being in central hub again."
"Splendid, first test," Captain Kokinos stated cheerfully, offering Barricade a handshake... wait...
"If you draw arms upon me I will drop you where you stand earthling!" Barricade himself snarled, bringing his weaponry online and dropping into a defensive stance. Prowl promptly cursed himself a fool, in his haste he'd forgotten the cultural briefing.
"No, see, what Cap'n Cook over there wanted to see was if anybot had bothered getting around to telling you that that's how western humans typically greet each other," Captain Jackson stated cheerfully, looking directly at Barricade proper from the first level catwalk with his arms crossed nonchalantly on the railing.
An intelligent move on the human's part, Prowl thought idly.
"It is Kokinos!" the Captain snapped back irritably.
"You're slackin' Prowl," Jackson added with a grin toward his holo before half shoving himself up and turning to look up into the air duct. "Yo Wheelie where you at? We got home-guard brief in ten minutes!" the man bellowed into the pipes.
"Yo' keep your hair on! We're coming!" Wheelie's voice echoed from a different duct.
"So you do what now?" Barricade asked in a somewhat more mollified tone, taking his weapons systems back offline.
"When a human reaches out like this you do the same and grasp hands, it is called a handshake," Kokinos stated grandly, shaking the holo's hand.
"If you'll excuse us, we have a mission at hand," Prowl stated in a hinting tone.
"Right! Thank you for your information," Barricade nodded formally before the holo turned. "Where are we going?"
"Go sit down," Prowl stated firmly, looking up at Barricade proper. "You're in everybot's way standing there."
"Right," Barricade snorted, glancing around and casually occupying the niche which served as the human's stairways, transforming and parking discreetly out of the way.
Except for one thing.
"Yo Space-cop! That's about to become the main thoroughfare in twenty minutes!" Jackson shouted down to him.
"Two and a half breem," Prowl muttered through the holoform.
"If we need more than a breem I'll move," Barricade stated firmly.
"We're going to need more than a breem," Prowl sighed, rolling his optics.
"To ask one question!?" Barricade demanded in shock.
"They're extremely well-behaved hatchlings. Leave it at that," Prowl stated flatly.
Barricade's holoform stared at his in silence for a long moment.
"Seriously," he demanded flatly.
"We are now down to two breem simply arguing about it!" Prowl stated in exasperation.
Barricade promptly threw his holoform's hands up and winked out, pulling out into the corridor and driving to park with the human's vehicles in the entrance bay. Then, the holoform began running. Prowl synced his processors and raised the holoform's arm in the humans' manner of checking one's chronometer.
It just seemed appropriate given the circumstances.
"That... is way farther... than it looks..." Barricade's holoform huffed, leaning heavily on Prowl's shoulder for a moment.
"Next time use the video surveillance to determine where to blink your holoform to," Prowl stated in amusement, leading the way into the hub of human habitations almost before Barricade had straightened. Or at least, the hub of the guest's quarters.
"Showoff," Barricade muttered. Prowl ignored him, scanning the doors. "They're in the walls, they're everywhere!" Barricade sotto-whispered behind him.
"Put a clamp on it," Prowl muttered back, knocking on the correct portal. "This isn't Micron Four." A moment later the door opened and the Colonel's face poked out.
"You haven't flagged anything," Will frowned in greeting, glancing at his watch.
"We need to ask you something, human," Barricade stated firmly. Will glanced behind himself and squeezed his way through the half-opened door. "What are you hiding?" Barricade demanded suspiciously, starting forward somewhat.
Prowl rolled his optics somewhat, raising his arm to impede the holo's progress. A great deal had changed, yet evidently time had not yet tempered Cade's suspicion of outwardly shady, guarded actions.
"If Belle sees you she's going to use the pair of you as an excuse to take another break from her homework," Will stated in a grave tone the second the door was closed behind him.
"What is homework-" Barricade began with a frown.
"Later Cade," Prowl grumbled irritably.
"What? Right," Barricade nodded, glancing at him.
"What's twisting your processors this time Prowl?" Will asked in an amused tone.
"Did the Lady High Protector know of Barricade's involvement with her sire?" Prowl asked with a scowl.
"Of course she did," Will stated in a surprised tone. "Why?"
"You are certain of this?" Barricade demanded.
"Dead certain, I was there with Ironhide when he caught scent of your signature, and it was the pair of us who did the initial notification of kin-"
"What-"
"I was the one who sat Kae down and told her that her father had passed, and Ironhide was the one who informed her that he hadn't gone down without one hell of a fight," Will stated in an explanatory tone, looking at Barricade. "I admit I'd thought you'd done it - sorry about that…"
"She knew. Why did she not bring it up?" Prowl asked with a scowl.
"You'd have to ask her that," Will shrugged, turning and opening the door to his quarters once more.
"It's the coppers! You can't take my daddy away!" Anabelle squealed, launching herself through the door and latching onto Prowl's legs. Prowl looked down at the tiny femmeling holding his feet and legs prisoner and smiled. He simply couldn't help it.
"What...?" Barricade asked with a small frown.
"Cade, this is the Colonel's femme creation, Anabelle," Prowl stated patiently, looking at the holoform. "Anabelle, this is Barricade's new holoform."
"It's nice to meet you on a level Mr. Space-cop," Anabelle stated gravely from Prowl's thighs. The Colonel straightened proudly somewhat beside him, as was certainly his due.
"A deeply perceptive hatchling," Barricade commented.
"Femmeling," Anabelle corrected him firmly.
"You have passed your first two vorn of life?" Barricade asked gravely, eyeing her in amusement.
"Psychologically I have, but I'm not gonna live much past one vorn," Anabelle stated just as gravely. "I'm five years old."
The Colonel reached out and laid a strong hand on Barricade's shoulder as the holoform paled, staring down at the femmeling in shock.
"You need to log her as a human, Barricade," Will murmured gently.
"But she is Cybertronian..." Barricade murmured in a confused, softly grieved tone, looking up and around in shock.
"Only if I wanna be, which isn't gonna be for a little while yet," Belle stated in a soothing tone, releasing Prowl's knees and reaching up toward 'Cade. Automatically, the holoform reached down and collected the girl. "I still got a bit of growing up to do before my spark demands a frame strong enough to protect it," Anabelle murmured gently, pecking a kiss to Barricade's jaw.
Prowl grinned beside the Colonel as Barricade's spark visibly melted, a bot simply couldn't help it when trapped by the little femmeling's charm.
"See? His circuitry's just fine daddy," Anabelle commented cheerfully the next second.
"What?" Prowl frowned.
"Belle figures that anybot that picks her up for a cuddle hasn't lost their guardian and hatchling protocols," Will explained in an amused tone.
"Never in a million vorn," Barricade murmured, pressing the holo's face into the femmeling's helm ornamentation. "But never be deceived little one - simply because a bot's hatchling protocols are intact does not then automatically follow them being trustworthy. Have you completed your homework?"
"Almost, 'Streaker, Sidey and momma are tryin' to figure out if I'm right that Romeo only wanted to take Juliette to bed, it was lust, not love at first sight-" Anabelle stated gravely. To his right, Colonel Lennox began choking somewhat. "-because apparently I can't just write my thesis on the parallel between Romeo and Juliette and Unka Oppamus and Annie Kae's courtship 'cause several bits of it are still classified."
In the midst of already choking, Will then had to squeeze his eyes shut, and visibly attempt, in some fashion, to take a deep breath.
"Are you alright sir? Do you require medical aid?" Barricade immediately demanded, setting Anabelle on her feet to facilitate the possibility of getting the Colonel to Ratchet.
"I'm fine, I'm fine," Will choked, holding his hand up, palm toward them and shaking his head somewhat.
"Daddy glitches when mating rituals become the topic of conversation," Anabelle reported gravely.
"Don't tell them that!" Will stated indignantly, his face now a rather spectacular shade of magenta.
"But you said we gotta always tell the truth to the police officers," Anabelle frowned.
::. He kinda asked for that one.:: Barricade sent smugly over the Primary.
::. Shut up Barricade.:: Will grumbled irritably.
"You're on the Primary!?" Barricade demanded incredulously.
"I knew it!" Anabelle shouted victoriously.
"Why would you keep such a thing from your creation?" Barricade demanded flatly.
Prowl winced when the Colonel glared at the holoform for a long moment before heaving a sigh.
"Because as much as I love her, I hate trying to win arguments with my five-year-old," he groaned resignedly, burying his face in his hand.
"Which argument?" Anabelle asked curiously.
"That my connection to the Primary is facilitated by the neural phone which means you'll want one, but you-"
"-can't have one because it'll interfere with my neural/skeletal growth and I'm due to sprout up any orn now," Belle finished for her father.
Silence.
"Ratchet already won that argument for me, didn't he," Will stated wryly, looking down at his daughter.
"I love you too daddy," Anabelle giggled, patting her father's knee before looking around. "I better see if everybody's done checking my homework," she announced with a little eye-roll.
"Belle don't you think you should at least stick a few mistakes in there so they don't think the twins are just doing your homework for you?" Will asked worriedly.
"If they don't believe me then I'll write another one in class," Anabelle stated in a dignified tone. "Besides, you can tell the difference between mine and the twins': 'Spell-cheek' makes them miss things. Nice to meet you Mr. Space-cop," she added with a smile.
"Call me 'Cade," Barricade's holo smiled at the femmeling.
"Anabelle," Prowl nodded patiently.
"Enforcer," Anabelle nodded gravely to him before walking back through the door into their quarters.
"What a well behaved femmeling," Prowl murmured musingly.
"You know she's kinda mocking you when she does that, right?" Barricade muttered.
"It's close enough," Prowl stated airily.
"Has Chance shown up yet?" Will asked curiously.
"Negative. Lieutenant Chance hasn't checked in at any base," Barricade reported seriously. "What are your orders regarding his treatment?"
"Leave him alone, Lena's got it covered. Don't you have something to ask Kae?" Will asked with a raised eyebrow.
Prowl winced, as did Barricade.
"Meet you at med-bay," he stated flatly. Barricade nodded and Prowl winked his holoform out, rising and striding from his office toward the femme's location; Barricade transformed and took his flank in front of the entrance bay. Prowl led the way through med-bay, and stopped in front of the Lady High-Protector's desk.
Workbench.
"My Lady," Prowl began with a scowl, the femme glanced up from the actuator she was sealing before her optics became occupied once more.
"Enforcers," she greeted them calmly, examining the actuator before setting it down and picking up the next. "You have a question for me?"
"You did not bring up Barricade's transgression against your sire," Prowl stated with a frown. "Why?"
"I knew it wasn't Barricade," Kae stated simply, shrugging. Patient fingers turned the actuator over and ran along a rough weld, delicately smoothing it. She set it down and picked up the next one.
Prowl stared at the femme in consternation.
"On what basis?" he demanded flatly.
"Call it a gut instinct," Archangel Prime stated patiently, her hands never ceasing the delicate repairs on what appeared to be one of Wheeljack's servos.
"Gut instinct?" Barricade asked curiously.
"It is a human phrase denoting intuition, namely the ability for humans to immediately know or understand something without the necessity for conscious, rational thought," Prowl immediately translated with a scowl.
"You had no solid proof that I had not killed your sire, and yet you dismissed me as a suspect?" Barricade demanded with a scowl.
"You will have to forgive my mate, Enforcers," Optimus rumbled patiently behind them, Prowl jumped slightly, turning to look at the Emperor Prime. "She was trained from a young age to withhold the information pertaining to the activities of her creators from any but a select few."
"They were criminals?" Barricade demanded sternly. Prowl scowled, such behaviour did not bode well for the femme's performance as the Lady High Protector…
"Sometimes, but only when it was necessary," Archangel shrugged quietly, shifting slightly on her bench as her mate made to join her. The next moment her optics flicked up to hold theirs, even as Optimus wound an arm around her. "But they were first and foremost the agents tasked with seeking out corruption within the highest order of Enforcers - a delicate subject to bring up, even across species," she added, canting her helm slightly and raising a brow ridge at the inadvertent growls of indignation that emerged from both he and Barricade. "But my mate is correct: Old habits die hard – particularly those which involve my family. I knew from the coroner's report that despite his signature presence Barricade hadn't been the one to kill my father."
"I knew, before I even mated her," Optimus murmured with a small smile. Archangel glanced at her mate curiously. "You slipped my mate: In your rage and grief you did not say 'he' killed my father, but that 'they' tortured and killed him."
Prowl relaxed as the look in the femme's optics turned wry.
"And only you know me well enough to tell the difference," she murmured softly.
"You told no one. Not even the men investigating your father's death because you couldn't," Optimus murmured, gently prompting his femme.
"Not until Brick was safe," Archangel choked softly, sagging against her mate. Barricade glanced at him with a small frown, Prowl shrugged.
"My mate was raised from her early hatchlinghood by a unit of men trained in the acquisition of knowledge, and the dispatching of criminals too far out of reach for the traditional law enforcements," Optimus informed them quietly. "They were the elite guard of their culture."
"He…" Barricade choked beside him. Prowl couldn't help but agree.
"Presidents, dictators, senators, admirals, assassins..." Kae murmured in a soft, grieving tone. "But rationally, Barricade, I knew that you hadn't killed my father because you would not have bothered to kill him with a .32 hollow-cavity. Nor gone to such trouble to ensure the bruising matched those of human fists - Barry sent me the coroner's report and pictures - under the radar," she added, glancing at her mate.
"You never mentioned it," Optimus murmured.
"I was doing my level best to not mention anything," Kae replied in wry amusement. "A task you did not make easy, my mate. Logically, Barricade, the only reason you would have had for wasting good energon destroying my shop would have been to either cover your tracks - which would have been a sincerely lousy job had that been the case; or to flush one or more of us out - which was far more likely yet not acted on.
"Of course after my name and face were plastered across every available media source on the planet..." she sighed, tucking her helm against her mate's shoulder. "I knew it was coming. Harrison must have thought it a gift from God himself; his long awaited sign that he was destined to rule the world. The weak point for the one thing stopping him from enacting a world-wide coup – which he'd been searching for for years – served up on a silver platter where even a layman was certain to see it…"
Prowl winced slightly as Optimus gently tucked his mate against his spark.
"My apologies, Prime," Barricade stated quietly.
"I do commend you for it, though," Archangel added softly, curling into her mate.
"You... what!?" Barricade demanded, catching Prowl under the servo and tapping his helm. Unnecessarily, of course: Prowl was by now accustomed to hearing such things from Kae.
"You are demanding answers outside of the chain of command, an action which requires a strong mind and resolution - particularly when you are likely to receive an answer you do not want to hear; I commend you for it," Archangel stated calmly, a touch of regal dignity creeping into her tone as the piercing, expressive optics held each of theirs in turn.
Prowl synced his processors in relief.
"So we've gone from being slagged to commended?" Barricade commented unsurely beside him.
"If my mate had been unsuitable for the title, Enforcers, I would not have awarded it to her," Optimus rumbled patiently, looking at them. Prowl nodded his acquiescence to that statement.
"Dropped it on me, more like," Kae protested in a softly amused tone, looking up at her mate.
"It was Sentinel's suggestion," Optimus rumbled defensively.
"Shuffling the blame off onto someone who isn't here to defend himself is highly un-primely of you, your Imperial Majesty," the femme stated in a teasing tone.
"It is when it's true and you know it," Optimus grumbled.
System reboot: yes/no...