John watched as Natalie stormed out of the bar. She didn't look back and she left, well what did he expect, she finally saw him for who he was, for what he was, a bum. A drunken womanizing bum.
"Hey Johnny, you ready to go back to my place?" The blonde said as she walked over to him by the pool table.
John looked at her and he couldn't believe what he saw. Why was he with someone like this, why would he do this to himself, night after night, day after day. This is what he became, all because he couldn't have her, couldn't tell her, couldn't tell Natalie and he didn't attempt to either. He hadn't even tried.
"Hey, hello, Johnny boy wanna go or what?" the blonde said as John walked right passed her and out of the bar without a word to anyone.
Llanview
Natalie arrived at his apartment around midnight; she used her key and went in quietly, knowing he would already be asleep. The train had gotten her into Llanview a few hours ago but she hadn't wanted to come here yet, she didn't want him to see the mess she was, he would've known something was wrong and she just couldn't hurt him like that. She thought how she would tell him, tell him the real reason she went to see John. Tell him that she still held Love for him in her heart and although she at first told herself she wanted closure to what they once was, she knew it was a lie the minute she saw him, even thou he looked like shit and smelt like a brewery her heart still skipped a beat the minute she felt his presence. She was still very much in love with him. But what did that mean for her and Nick?
She cared about Nick very deeply, he was a great guy, she even loved him, but he just wasn't John, she wasn't in love with him. She walked quietly into the bedroom and saw him asleep in bed, he was so peaceful, and she knew it wasn't fair to him. She turned to walk out of the room and leave, she would go home tonight, she told herself, she couldn't be here with him tonight, she was just about to walk a few feet out the bedroom door when she saw him reach up and turn the light on.
"Hey, babe, you're finally home" He said as he got out of bed and walked over to her. He looked at her face and knew something wasn't right, he took her hands and led her to the bed to sit down.
"What's wrong? Is it the friend you were seeing today? Were they not excited about our news?" Nick asked as he pulled her in and held her to his chest.
"Its okay now, whatever it is, it's okay" Nick told her and she thought about if she should tell him now, tell him where she was today, who it was she was so upset over, why she was so upset, if she should break things off now, now before the wedding invitations went out, now before she told anyone else of the marriage, the two people that knew wouldn't tell anyone else and maybe it would save him some embarrassment. The two people who knew she thought, John and Michael Mcbain. John she thought, he was with some blonde, some blonde with so much makeup she probably needed a power washer to take it off at night, at night, tonight, he was probably having sex with her right now, he hadn't come after her when she left but why would today be any different than any other day. He's never chased her, not ever and tonight he again didn't. He stayed with the blonde and her legs. She shook her head and Nick pulled her back off his chest for minute to take a look at her, he pushed a piece of hair behind her ear.
"Do you want to talk about it or do you just want to go to sleep?" Nick asked her as he stared into her eyes
Natalie again shook her head this time free of the thoughts of what happened tonight, she would forget tonight happened, the same way she would forget John Mcbain again, this final time cause he was dead to her now, she knew she had said that in the past after she found out about him knowing about Chris but this time she meant it. She had Nick and she would be marrying him in two weeks. She wasn't going to let John screw this up for her; she wasn't going to let him screw up her life again like he did in the past.
"Lets go to sleep" Natalie said as he helped her get undressed and they snuggled into bed for the night.
A week passed and Nick and Natalie had everything planned and set for their big day. They sent out simple invitations to a handful of friends and to all of Natalie's family. Nick didn't have a lot of family but a few close cousins who would make the trip in from Illinois. All was going according to schedule and Natalie couldn't be happier. Well yes, she could be happier, happier if she was marrying John. She tried not to even let her mind go to that place, the place of thinking about John, she was marrying Nick and that was all that mattered.
"Hello, Bo it's me John, John Mcbain" John told Bo as he called him on his cell phone.
John and Bo talked for a few minutes about how they had been and then Bo asked John what the call was really about.
"I know you had no other choice but to fire me but I was Just wondering if you might have a job open that is if you even want me back." John told and asked Bo on the phone.
"Actually John, things haven't been the same here since I had to fire you. Your old job is still here but.. But I'm not sure if I can hire you back. I'm not sure I should, i need to see if you've changed any since you left, I mean you were a real mess back then, and you do no Natalie and her boyfriend Nick still work here at the station, I really am not up for any problems like the last time."
"I thought he was her fiancée" John asked Bo
"What?" Bo asked
"I thought she was going to marry him?" John asked letting a shimmer of hope pass thru his body, hope that she had decided not to marry him. The shimmer was short lived when Bo corrected his wording.
"Yes, you're right I'm sorry I forgot they're engaged. Why don't you come back to Llanview and we can have dinner and discuss things. I'm sure we can work things out If you're willing that is?'
"Yes, I'm willing and I'm already here" John told him as he started unpacking his clothes from a single box he brought back from AC with him.
"Here already, I guess you're serious then. How's dinner tonight eight o'clock at Capricorn " Bo asked and the two ended their phone conversation.
John continued to unpack his box when he came to her picture, it was his favorite picture of her, she didn't know the picture was being taken and she was smiling at some kids in the park playing football. John placed the picture on top of his nightstand in his room, his room at the hotel, their room, their home. When he had seen her the other day, the day in the bar, he was a wreck before he saw her and then after, he was so much worse, just the thought of her being with someone else, marrying someone else, it made him ill. He decided he didn't like what he became, he didn't like who he was, so after he saw her he couldn't go back, back to getting drunken and screwing around, he saw the disgust in her eye's, how she looked at him like she didn't even recognize him. She had come to talk to him about stuff, about them, what they once was, and for a few seconds he believed, believed she could still Love him. He had left the bar that night alone, completely alone, no baggage. He checked it at the door of his apartment. She was right this wasn't about him and his demons; it was about them, about them finding a way back, a way back to each other. He knew why she was there that night, she was there to ask if it was possible, possible to try, for them to try, she wanted to make sure she wasn't making a mistake marrying a man, a man she didn't love or at least a man she didn't love as much as she loved him. There was a knock on his door and he knew who it was.
"Come in Mikey" John yelled from the bedroom
" Hey, I see your settling in to your old place again" Michael said as he sat on the couch
"Like I never left Mikey, like I never left" John told him with a half smile on his face. John and Michael caught up on things and John apologized for being an ass for the past six months and then John needed to know about Natalie and Nick but he didn't just want to come out and ask him so he spoke in circles trying to get the answers he needed and wanted. Michael knew just what his brother was doing and called him on it.
"Why don't you Just ask me? Ask me about her?" Michael told john as John was staring at the slot machine that Michael had been keeping in his room for him.
"I love this thing you know, she bought it for me a long time ago when we were friends, just friends" John said as he pulled the arm of the machine down and he watched it spin.
"John, it's not going to happen, so if you came back only for her, don't get comfortable cause you won't be staying" Michael told John as he watched him still with the slot machine.
"John did you hear me, it ain't happen bro, she's getting married and soon, real soon" Michael told john and then John looked away from the slot machine.
"What? When?" John asked not realizing that they would be getting married that soon.
"In a little under a week" Michael told John as John walked passed Michael towards the window and looked out. What was he going to do now? He asked himself, how would he rebuild things with her so fast.
Later that night John had dinner with Bo and they discussed John getting his old Job back and they also discussed how it would effect the station, just the fact that John was back and Natalie and Nick was also there. Bo thought maybe it was best for John to wait to come back till after Nat's wedding. He could start while she was away on her honeymoon and then a married Natalie and Nick would be better adjusted to keep things civil. John and Bo left Capricorn and John walked towards the hotel when he heard a commotion going on out front. He looked and it was Natalie blindfolded and surrounded by a group of maybe five or six women. He recognized Marcie, Kelly, and even a very pregnant Jessica. Natalie was laughing one of her wide laughs and they seem to be leading her somewhere. He overheard one of the women say something about a surprise on the roof for Natalie and he followed behind them as they went on to the roof.
John was so curious as to what was going on that he stayed a little ways back and watched. He watched all the women laughing and joking as they had Natalie sit in a chair in the middle of the roof. He was close enough and he could hear them talking and laughing, he heard her talk and laugh and his heart turned to mush. How he loved her laugh.
"This isn't funny guys, I hope there isn't going to be a male stripper here when You take off this blind fold, remember I promised Nick, no strippers for our parties" Natalie said as she sat waiting.
"I really don't know what this is Nat, we were just told by Roxy to get you up here this way" Jessica said
"Roxy! Well then I'm definitely in trouble now" Natalie said as she pulled the blindfold off just in time to see someone moving towards her in what seemed to be a LPD uniform. His back was to all the girls and they started to laugh, knowing that this was probably a stripper sent by Roxy. Such a Roxy thing to do someone even commented.
John was still watching from an undetectable spot by the door and he watched and he even chuckled a little when he saw the stripper start his music.
The stripper started the music and then still without turning around he started to move towards Natalie sort of in a moonwalk type motion. He straddled his backside over Natalie in the chair as Natalie laughed continuously never stopping. He had the standard LPD hat on with the brim covering his face and he was beginning to move his ass up and down in Natty's face. After a few seconds Natalie busted out with the biggest squeal.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEE! I Know this Ass!" Natalie said as Nick took off the hat and this hair fell out of it, all the women screamed and were laughing so hard they couldn't breathe.
"You better" Nick said as he sat on Nat's lap, he leaned in and kissed her
"What are you doing?" Natalie asked in between her chuckles
"I knew you had a thing for men in blue" He said with a smart-ass grin and he kissed her again. All the woman got the hint and they left.
John saw what occurred on the roof and he felt the jealously build up in him. He pushed it down and moved so the woman wouldn't see him when they left. After they left he looked out to see them continuing to kiss and he felt defeated, defeated even before he began to fight, before he began to try, to try and win her back. How could he compete with that? With him? He watched her with him and she seemed happy, genuinely happy. Was he wrong? Wrong in thinking she still loved him and that's why she went to Ac to see him last week. Was he wrong? He again asked himself as he decided it was now or never. He needed to know, he needed to see her face, so he could tell if there was anything left or even anything to work with. He took a deep breath and walked out on the roof with them.
Natalie and Nick had changed places and she was now on his lap and they were still kissing when they paid no attention to the opening of the door. They assumed it was one of Nat's friends who maybe forgot something up there. They didn't look up till they heard his voice.
"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't know anyone was up here," John said as he saw Natalie look at him, become Red in the face and fall off Nick's lap before Nick could catch her.