Sara had left the lab before Grissom. She had swung by his office before she left, but when she saw the door closed with Ecklie sitting in with him, she knew he'd probably be a bit. She decided to stop by her apartment quickly to grab another quick shower before she headed to his place. She had been to his place a few times in the span that he was gone, checked his mail, watered the plants. He had offered the space while he was away, but it never felt the same without him in there with her. As if the warmth that made it feel like home was missing.

She had just walked into his townhouse when his text came in that he'd be another 30 minutes. She straightened up a few things, sorted his mail on his desk, and put away a few groceries she had brought over so his fridge wasn't empty when he returned. Sara was curled up on the couch with a cup of tea when she heard the key in the door. She looked to the clock and saw that it was almost two hrs past shift. Rough start for the first day back.

Grissom opened the door and she was the first thing he laid eyes on. Sara stood up and rubbed her hands on her hips and down the sides of her legs. For some reason she felt nervous to be there all of a sudden. He walked to her and set his bag in the chair, careful to not break the eye contact that they had. He stepped towards her when he saw her smile and hugged her. The first time he had held her in 4 weeks. If he ever felt he needed a confirmation that he needed this woman, this was it. She fit perfectly in his embrace. Sara didn't realize that for him, she was what made his place feel like home. A home he'd never want to leave again without her. Sara kissed him gently on the lips before pulling away slightly to rub his arms and look at him some more.

"How's Catherine?"

Grissom closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose as he let out a loud sigh.

"I think she'll be alright. It's Catherine. Warrick offered to take her home."

"Oh, that's good."

"I didn't know that her and Kepler were close."

"People are full of surprises…"

Grissom smirked and kissed her again before he stepped away, pulling off his jacket and hanging it up in the closet that was in his living room.

"And Ecklie…how's that go? I saw you two chatting when I left."

"Chatting is calling it nicely."

"He can't possibly put blame with you, you weren't even here?"

"That's not the point, Sara. My team, my responsibility."

Sara felt her cheeks get red as the frustrations mounted within her. She knew how the lab worked and what to expect, it shouldn't have been a surprise. And yet she found herself ready to defend Grissom in any way that was necessary.

"What about-…"

Grissom waved his hands and looked at her softly. This wasn't what he wanted tot talk about, this wasn't the homecoming he wanted with her. Sara gave a half-hearted smile back when she realized this conversation could wait.

"Have you eaten?"

Grissom smiled and looked to the floor as he nodded no. For the last four weeks there was no one to ask about his sleep, his eating, his stress. Just friendly smiles passing him by, people waiting for whatever fact of science he had next. But here…with her…it mattered. He mattered. His stress, his sleep, his eating habits, she cared. And he missed that. He missed feeling like he mattered.

"Why don't you go unpack, I'll make you some breakfast."

Sara rubbed his back as he stepped past her with his bag heading to the bedroom. She loaded a small pot of coffee and pulled some fruit from the fridge. Despite Sara's preference for a big stack of pancakes, Grissom preferred a smaller healthier breakfast. Completely content with toast and fruit, maybe some yogurt.

Grissom walked into the bedroom and set his bag on the edge of the bed. Immediately he could tell that she hadn't taken his offer of her staying there. There wasn't a single thing out of place. As if the room hadn't been touched the entire time he was gone. He tried to avoid reading into that any. Understanding that her preferring to be in her own space was completely logical and not necessarily a sign of any trouble.

He unloaded his bag, putting his clothes away and his toiletries back into the bathroom. When he got to the bottom of the bag, he sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled out the letter that had been hidden under all the clothes. Her address only half written on the outside, but inside…inside he could remember every word he wrote. He was tempted to throw it away, but couldn't help but feel that maybe one day he'd give it to her.

You should have sent it while you were away.

I didn't know how she'd take it.

You weren't sure how the woman you love would take you telling her you love her?

We've never really said it.

What is it that you're waiting for?

Grissom was tapping the letter against his other palm when Sara walked up and leaned against the doorframe to the room. She saw the envelope in his hand and the pained look on his face.

"Coffee is ready…"

Grissom looked up at her quickly, taken off guard. He hadn't heard her walk up and was worried with how long she had been standing there.

"…What's that?"

Sara pulled her arms across her stomach. Instinctively moving to protect herself from whatever bad news that letter held. She couldn't see the address on the front, but the way he held it told her he already knew what it contained.

Was it an official offer from the University?

Was this trip just a introduction?

Was he actually going to leave Las Vegas for good?

Grissom wasn't sure how to answer her. How did he tell her that this letter wrapped up everything he wanted to say while he was gone but couldn't. That he knew the minute he left, it was a mistake and he wanted to be back home with her. And yet even after he wrote it, he didn't know how to send it to her.

"It's uhh…just some stuff I have to figure out."

Grissom cleared his throat as he stood, placing the envelope in a book and set it on the nightstand. Sara watched him trying to understand him. Looking for any sign of what was going through his mind, but per usual, he didn't let much show. He walked to her and kissed her on the forehead, his hand grazed from her hips to the small of her back as he walked out behind her to the kitchen.

Sara grabbed their plates and set them on the table and in front of her and Grissom. Neither of them were sure how to start the conversation that they needed to have. His exit had been tense and awkward. Sara had spent the last four weeks trying to convince herself that his need for this trip had nothing to do with her. He had told her that it didn't, and she wanted to believe him. Likewise, there was a part of Grissom that was trying to firmly believe it himself. He questioned it naturally, wondering why he hadn't felt the pressure to take the trip before this. Their job was full of constant pressure, always on the cusp of burnout; that wasn't anything new. So why now? Why now was it too difficult to keep from feeling everything that was happening around him.

The truth was, it did have to do with her. But not in the way she was probably assuming.

With Sara in Grissom's life, his heart was more open than he realized. As their relationship evolved from the strained and awkward friendship into this mutual desire to share one's life with another, it hadn't been without consequence. Grissom found himself struggling with putting people and their problems into their own little box. His ability to compartmentalize had taken a serious blow. His mind felt as if someone had taken all the neatly stacked and organized boxes of his mind and tossed them onto the floor. With everything mixing, with everything taking up more space in it's jumbled existence, he couldn't ignore it. The skill he was often criticized for, was now lacking. And while many would see this as progress; to have their walls torn down, it only frightened him. To think that others would be able to see the chaos, that he had lost his control, that he had lost himself maybe…that was why he needed to go. He needed the space to reorganize the boxes and make sense of what his world looked like with the walls down. Not just for himself, but his life with her.

But it didn't take him long to realize that she would never fit in a box again. He would chuckle to himself imagining Sara walking into the metaphorical room and tearing all the boxes to the ground for him searching for the one he stuffed her in. Her desperate attempt to get him to see her as his partner, his equal, his teammate. He kicked himself when he asked why it took flying across the country to get it, to actually see it for what it was…but he knew the truth. He was too stubborn to actually let her help him figure it out. And so for the next four weeks, he'd spend wishing every day he could just be with her.

"So,… are you happy to be back?"

"I am. I missed this."

Grissom held her hand on the table and rubbed his thumb over hers. Sara smiled and tried to ignore the hurt of four weeks worth of breakfasts she had spent alone. Some mornings not eating because she had convinced herself that he may not come back…at least not to her.

"I uhh…sigh…never mind."

"What, Sara?"

"Nothing. I don't…I don't want to be that person."

"What person, what are you talking about?"

"Nothing. It's fine."

"Don't. Don't do that. What person?"

"The person who asks why you didn't call. Four weeks, Gil. Four weeks and we had maybe two conversations, and they were about Hank. In fact, I think I heard you on the phone with Catherine more than I could remember hearing your voice for myself."

Grissom sighed and hung his head. Realizing that for all the conversations he had with Sara in his mind, very few made it out to her in reality. Not to mention his letter that was still shoved in the book by the bed.

"I shouldn't have left."

"No, that's not what I'm saying…"

"I know…I know you're not. I am. That's why I didn't call. I shouldn't have left and I didn't know how to just say that…"

Sara pushed her plate away and set both of her hands in her lap under the table. Grissom ran his tongue over his teeth as he mulled over his words to come.

"…It's no secret that I keep a lot to myself. I'm not very good at sharing what I feel with others. But lately, I've been finding it harder to do that…keep it to myself. My feelings…frustrations harder to uhh…to hide…to control. And well, that scared me. After Greg, after Ernie Dell,…I just…I felt those things more than I ever had and I needed to understand why. When I got the offer to go teach, it felt like the right time to take a step back…"

Sara pulled her arm back to the top of the table and rested her hand on Grissom's while he continued.

"…Almost as soon as I left, I realized that I didn't need to go anywhere at all. I thought I'd feel different. I thought if I got the space, I could put things back into the boxes they belonged in…"

Sara scrunched her eyebrows, slightly confused. Grissom chuckled.

"Never mind that. I thought if I had the space, I could put things back the way they were. But I was wrong…I can't…and…I don't think I need to anymore."

"So….you leaving…taking a break…this wasn't about us."

"God no. You are what made me realized I was okay. I wasn't broken…I didn't need to go fix myself…I just needed you. [he paused] I mean…horrible timing, being thirty thousand feet in the air flying across the country to realize the one thing I needed, I left back in Vegas."

Grissom raised his eyebrows and couldn't help the boyish smile that slipped across his face when Sara laughed and squeezed his hand. Sara shook her head at his quirky analogies, comparing her to an item forgotten on a trip.

"So like a toothbrush, huh?"

Grissom smiled and cased her hands with his, looking at them and chuckling before he spoke.

"No. Not at all. You can pick up a toothbrush anywhere. It was like leaving behind a favorite book. One that you've read over and over and yet still find yourself captivated at every page turn for what is to come next. That special book that fits just right in your hands, smells like home, and gives you a sense of security you never knew you needed. The book that you have to read every night, even if just a page, because there's not a single one that doesn't make you feel like a better person for being a part of the story. You are…my favorite book, Sara Sidle. I'll never leave you behind again."

Sara smiled and licked her lips, pressing them together. She was doing her best to hold back the small tear that had welled in her eye. Silently laughing at herself for having doubted their relationship. It wasn't perfect, and it needed a lot of work in the ways of communication, that was clear. The whole mess could have been easily avoided had they just really talked about his trip before he left. Instead of him just deciding last minute to actually go. But in thinking about the weeks they shared before he left, she had to question herself why she doubted it at all. Was it maybe her own insecurity of being worthy of his love? Unsure of his 'yes' after all the years of 'no'. Whatever the reason didn't matter in this moment, she knew now that to have doubted him was a mistake.

Sara stood up from the table and leaned forward towards him, a hand on both the table and the arm of his chair. She kissed him softly at first till she felt his face relax and he let her in. He needed her kiss and wasn't afraid to show that he did as he stretched his hand up to cup her neck, pulling her to him. Grissom was ready for her to lower herself onto his chair and straddle him but instead she pulled away and smiled, leaving him with a last kiss before she grabbed their plates.

"You better not."

Sara took their plates and walked into the kitchen, placing them in the sink. Grissom had sat back in his chair, smiling, taking another sip of coffee as he watched her walk away.

It's good to be home…