Disclaimer: See chapter 1.

Author's note: I… have nothing to say, for once. I think I'm a little speechless that I'm… writing again. Well, anyway, I just hope you dig it; I know I dig writing it. But yeah, the title? Corny. But REO Speedwagon is awesome.

Chapter summary: Paine is contemplative, wondering what there is between them. Knowing something's up, Rikku gets Paine to finally open up.

Chapter 8: Can't Fight This Feeling

Surprisingly, this time it was Paine who went looking for Rikku. There was no way around it: Paine was bored. Not any amount of drills, no matter how long she sharpened her sword, it couldn't calm her nerves. Why she was jittery she didn't know, but she wasn't about to sit around and mope.

As it always is, Paine found Rikku in the last place she looked. The thief was in one of the halls, patching up a panel that had the unfortunate luck to suffer Brother's wrath.

Hitching a hip against the wall a few feet down, Paine folded her arms over her chest and was content to merely watch the younger girl work. Rikku seemingly did not notice the warrior's presence. Already, Paine felt calmer, more… productive? Was that the word to describe it?

I don't know, Paine contemplated, glancing down at the toes of her boots. This is… … …I don't know what this is. I told her I needed to be alone and she let me be. And now I'm right back with her? Am I really growing that dependent? She looked up, keen eyes noting every, even slight, movement Rikku made. Almost clinically she observed the shifting of muscle beneath deceivingly soft skin, the pull of tendons in Rikku's arms and hands, bones straining when she worked a piece of particularly stubborn metal.

Do I need her? Paine asked herself. Do I need this slip of a girl who's annoyed me for the past four years? …That's not fair. She's not that annoying. You learn to look past that bubbly exterior. Buddy's right; she has a good heart. …Why me? Does she see past my own exterior? Maybe she's just lonely. Am I? Paine almost snorted, shaking her head at her introspection. No, she's my friend. She wouldn't do that. Nor would I. I… …She's pretty, sure. Cute, maybe in that kid sister way. But… she's not like a sister. Not like Yuna is. Slowly losing herself in her thoughts, Paine didn't notice the glance Rikku gave her out of the corner of her eye.

What does she see in me? Is it… misplaced admiration? I see something in her when she looks at Lulu. Does she look at me like that? I've never really paid attention. Maybe I should start paying attention. Do I really know her? You can only learn so much about somebody when you're team-mates. And it's not like I've ever invited her to chat.

"You gonna just stand there and stare or come over here and keep me company?" Rikku asked, her voice bringing Paine back to reality.

Not replying immediately, Paine pushed away from the wall and moved closer, resuming the same position next to the thief.

"Hi."

"Hi, yourself," Rikku replied. Though Paine couldn't see her face, she knew the smaller woman was smiling. Finally Rikku finished screwing a plate back into place and turned to face Paine, face tilted up and that expected smile on her face. "What brings you here?"

Paine glanced away before answering, "I was… bored."

"Oh yeah?" Rikku tossed the screwdriver in her hand down into the toolbox and mimicked Paine's stance. "Want me to entertain ya, huh?" She giggled.

Paine shrugged. "Just… wanted to see what you were up to."

Rikku stopped teasing and straightened. "You okay?"

"…Yeah."

The thief reached back and scratched her head. "I saw Buddy heading your way. Did he… say something?"

Paine unfolded her arms so the fingers of her right hand could slide through her bangs; a habit that was cocky in battle, a show of nervousness elsewhere. "Yeah."

Rikku frowned. "What'd he say?" She smiled a little, eyes twinkling. "Do you want me to hurt him?"

The warrior couldn't stop the amused snort that escaped her. "No. He just got into an overprotective mood. Asked me what was going on between us."

There was silence for a few seconds before Rikku timidly asked, "And?"

Paine shrugged again. "I asked him what business of it was his. He got nervous and tried to back peddle. Turns out Gippal was in mind, too."

"Gippal! Why Gippal?"

Another shrug. "He thought you two were into each other." Are you?

"That's ridiculous!" Rikku pouted, folding her arms over her chest. "Gippal's a jerk."

…Good. "Well. I told him I knew Gippal better than he did and he stopped that part. He was… worried about you, I guess."

"Me? Why? Hey! I can take care of myself!" Rikku said indignantly.

"Yeah. He was worried that I'd hurt you."

Rikku was quiet again for a while and just when Paine was starting to worry she said, "Well. That's crazy, too. You'd never hurt me. What got him into this mood, I wonder?"

"I don't know. It's over, whatever it is. He said he wanted to know so he could help calm Brother down when the time came."

The thief didn't seem satisfied but dropped it to question Paine more personally. "Did he upset you?"

"…No." Rikku gave her a disbelieving look and Paine held up a hand. "Not really. I wouldn't say he upset me. Just…" She exhaled. "Got me thinking."

"You do too much of that, ya know," Rikku said. She tilted her head, peering up at her friend. "…Need a hug?" She opened her arms, smiling.

Paine refolded her arms, trying to appear unaffected. Do I? Is that why I came down here? You've got to be kidding me… "If you want," Paine answered.

Rikku didn't need to be told twice. She wrapped her arms around Paine's shoulders and squeezed, resting her head against the warrior's arms. It was kind of uncomfortable in that position but she wasn't about to complain. Besides, Paine caved in and rested her hands against Rikku's shoulder blades, as close as to a return embrace as she was going to get right now.

"I'm being stupid," Paine mumbled, rolling her eyes to the ceiling.

"Why d'ya say that?" Rikku asked, the question mumbled into Paine's chest. She snuggled closer with a content sigh.

"…I've got a reputation I've got to uphold," Paine said dryly. "I'm turning into a mushball."

"It'll be our secret."

"Not when Brother wises up. That's like broadcasting it live."

"…Does that bother you?" Rikku pulled back to look up and catch Paine's gaze with her own. "I mean… if—if people know?"

Paine shrugged. "I don't care what people think, if that's what you're asking. …I just don't want people bothering us. Hurting so many people gets boring after a while."

The blonde giggled and hugged her tighter. Paine sighed and rested her chin atop Rikku's head, eyes closing halfway.

They stayed like this for a while until Rikku pulled back and looked down at the toolbox. "Umn… I have—I have some more repairs to do. D'you…" She looked up, oddly shy. "Wanna come with?"

Paine thought about it for a moment then nodded. "Sure. Okay." Not like I have anything better to do. …Oh, you know you want to. She chuckled, earning a curious glance from her friend. She waved a hand. "Yeah, come on. I'll help." She bent down and put the rest of the tools in the large, heavy box, closing it and hefting it with ease.

"My own personal packhorse!" Rikku chirped, teasing. She started down the hall, calling over her shoulder. "Hurry it up, horsey!"

"Who you calling a horse?" Paine grumbled good-naturedly, following behind dutifully. No longer bored. Problem solved. But, still… I wonder… But, at the moment, Paine had no time to wonder. Rikku was already dragging her around, both physically and metaphorically into it a discussion about some crazy Brother antic.

I'll wonder later…

"Thanks for helping me today," Rikku said. "If you hadn't, I'd still be workin'."

The two sat at the bar. Outside the sun was just about to begin setting, a few clouds tinted by the rays. Barkeep had gone to bed but it was still way too early for anybody else to be sleeping. Paine suspected Barkeep was still feeling the effects of a nasty hangover, having heard Brother talked him into a drinking match. Poor guy.

Paine shrugged, replying, "Sure. It was something to do, anyway."

Rikku smiled and leaned on the bar, head tilted towards Paine. "Do you wanna do something?"

"Like what?" Paine asked, lifting an eyebrow.

"I dunno… anythin' you wanna do. I feel like all we've been doin' it stuff I wanna do."

"…I wouldn't do anything if I didn't want to."

"I know that. But isn't there something you really want to do?"

There was, in fact, something Paine wanted to do. In fact, she thought about asking Rikku about it earlier, but hadn't wanted to appear… What? Obsessed? Bloodthirsty? Does she know about what it is to me and how… …How I want to share that with her in a way I haven't before?

Rikku smiled, patiently waiting for Paine's answer.

"…Um." Paine sighed. "Do you want to spar?"

The blonde leapt to her feet, jumping up and thrusting a fist to the sky. "You kiddin'! I thought you'd never ask! It's been a while, an' I bet I'm pretty rusty."

"Ah. Well, then. Shall we?" Paine pushed away from the bar and got up.

"Deck?"

"Yeah."

Fifteen minutes later they were on the deck, one end of the sky blood-red and orange with light, the other purple with the approaching darkness. Paine wasn't completely unaware of how fitting it was that Rikku stood with the sunset at her back and she, Paine, stood with the moon at hers. One of life's little ironies, she thought, sword resting against her shoulder.

"You sure?" she asked, not wanting to pressure Rikku into something that might turn out to be more than expected.

Rikku, guessing at Paine's concern, experimentally twirled her daggers and nodded. "I'm positive. We need this."

Do we? Paine wondered, but nodded back. "All right." The rules were known so Paine didn't bother going over them. Injuring was acceptable as long as it wasn't on purpose and wasn't more than a few scrapes and bruises. If at any time somebody wanted to stop, they called out "halt!" and drop their weapons. But Paine had sparred with Rikku before, not to mention Yuna, and the three had come up with a system where it was automatically known how much was enough.

"Ready?"

"Go!" Rikku called, settling into her normal stance.

They were well matched. Paine, though quick, was no where near Rikku's agility. Likewise, Rikku didn't hold a candle to Paine in the way of strength. So Paine was able to push as hard as she could, because most of the time Rikku was able to get out of the way.

Paine dropped her sword in a left downward slice, boots clacking against the deck as she propelled herself forward in the first strike. Rikku was prepared, ducking and spinning out of the way when Paine thrust underhandedly. The thief bounced back and lifted a dagger, catching a blow from the warrior's sword. Paine pushed down but quickly lowered her body, left leg sweeping to drop Rikku. Rikku jumped, cart wheeling over the leg and sword, glancing Paine's shoulder with a fist. Paine spun, sword slashing sideways, Rikku blocking the blow easily. For a while, they merely traded blows, testing each other, slowly coming into a steady but quick tempo of clashing blades and thrown and blocked punches or kicks.

Half an hour passed in this manner, neither of them gaining the upper hand. Their trust in each other showed in the way they didn't hold back, in the way they weren't afraid to try something new and perhaps even dangerous.

But it was only a matter of time before a mistake was made. It was completely accidental and wasn't rare; often one of them was harmed when they got so caught up in their sessions. Never seriously, but it was enough to keep them from going at it again for a few days.

Rikku was in mid-jump above Paine's head, daggers poised for blocking. Paine's eyes flashed, instincts roaring as her sword flew up to knock a dagger out of Rikku's grasp. When the thief landed, Paine grabbed the empty hand and moved to knock the other dagger out with her sword again, but Rikku dropped to the ground, yanking Paine with her. They tussled, Paine's sword falling to the side as Rikku cuffed her sword arm. Paine made a dive for one of Rikku's daggers, but the smaller woman drove her entire body into Paine's and they fell back, the remaining dagger in Rikku's possession nicking the warrior's neck in the confusion. Paine winced and let out a hiss, thrashing in a purely instinctual move to buck her opponent off.

"Paine!" Rikku immediately backed away, rolling over and letting her weapon fall out of her hand. "Paine, did—oh, man, I'm so sorry, are you okay!"

Chest heaving as she panted, Paine pushed herself up, her free hand moving to her neck. She pulled her hand away, a smear of blood signaling that her flesh had been cut, but it wasn't deep enough to require stitches.

Rikku was at her side at once, babbling incoherent apologies, trying to get Paine to let her see.

"Stop it," Paine snapped, slightly annoyed at the extra attention. She immediately regretted her harsh words at the hurt look in the girl's eyes. "…I'm fine." She frowned. "It's happened before so it's no big deal."

Rikku exhaled heavily, sitting back on her heels. "But… I…"

"It was an accident and it happens," Paine interrupted. "Drop it. …Okay?"

"I shoulda been more careful…" Rikku almost looked as if she'd cry.

Paine, though not annoyed any longer, was slightly bemused at the way Rikku was acting. She never got so upset before. Sure, she'd be sorry, but it wasn't as if she'd hacked her head off.

"Rikku…" Paine sat in front of her, large hands falling to Rikku's shoulders and squeezing. "I told you, it's nothing. I'm fine. Okay?"

Her friend said nothing for a moment before lurching forward and catching Paine by surprise with a bear hug, knocking her flat on her back.

"Hey, hey…!"

"I just don't wanna hurt you…"

Paine sighed, eyes rolling towards the sky. It was completely dark now, stars twinkling, moonlight glinting off the smooth deck. "…I know." She rested a hand on the back of Rikku's head, feeling the girl shudder and sniffle into her shirt. "…It's okay. I shouldn't have asked…"

Rikku swallowed hard and looked up. "I'm sorry. I—I dunno why I'm actin' so weird… it's just the thought of you being hurt, even just a little, especially by me…"

Idiot. You're right, you shouldn't have asked. "It's all right. …I guess I'd feel the same way if our positions were reversed." Paine sat up, taking Rikku with her. The thief was all but in her lap now, head resting on her shoulder. "…Things are changing…"

There must have been something unsettling or perhaps confusing in her voice, because Rikku looked back up at her. "Paine…"

The warrior's shoulders lifted in a small shrug, eyes half-lidded as she gave Rikku a small, depreciating smile. "Out of our hands."

Rikku pulled her arms from around Paine's waist and lifted her hands to Paine's face, fingers resting on her cheeks. "This is bothering you," she whispered.

"…" Paine glanced away. "…Yeah."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Rikku asked, eyes drifting briefly to the small, hardly-even-there cut on Paine's neck then back to her eyes.

"…Maybe." Paine sighed again and leaned back on one of her hands, the other dropping to Rikku's hip.

The blond waited patiently, knowing not to prod, her hands cupping Paine's face and fingers stroking gently in an attempt to ease and calm.

"…I'm not kidding when I say I haven't felt like this before," Paine began, head tilted back as she looked up at the sky. "I don't have control and it's making me nervous. I've always had control over every aspect of my life and I worked very hard to get there. To have the rug pulled out from under my feet… …I don't know what to do. I'm… …I like you, Rikku. You're my friend, probably one of my closest. But we don't know each other very well. I haven't exactly been Miss Feelings McSharepants."

Rikku giggled, but otherwise didn't interrupt.

With a small smirk, Paine continued. "And I didn't ask anything about you, either. It's just easier to have control that way, in any sort of relationship. But… I—I want to know you." Her eyes caught Rikku's, silently amused at the surprised look in them. "I want to know you and… …I want you to know me, too." She gestured with a hand. "I asked you to spar because this is a big part of me. I enjoy fighting. I'm good at it and I always feel accomplished after a mission complete and a job well done more than at any other time. Even when I practice, there's something in me, something alive, something I can let free. Something I can show. Something I express."

She was silent for a few minutes, searching Rikku's eyes for something she didn't yet find then went on. "Tonight… I…" Felt something better than what I get out of a fight. How can I tell you that? With you, doing the best thing in my life… I don't have the words to express that, Rikku. I don't know if I'm ready for this much… "…I liked tonight." A pause. "Being with you." That's all I can say right now. I hope you understand….

As if reading her mind, Rikku nodded, staying quiet. They stared at each other for a while before Rikku tugged a little on the strands of silver hair framing Paine's face. It forced her head down and a wild look of panic entered Paine's eyes, making them widen slightly but perceptively. Rikku merely smiled and rested her forehead against the taller woman's, eyes closing.

"Thank you," she said.

It was all that Paine needed to hear and she closed her eyes, too, releasing a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding.

I can wait, Rikku thought. "It'll be okay," she said aloud. "We'll figure this out. We'll slow down."

Without thinking about it Paine wrapped her arms around the woman in her lap and hugged her, murmuring something into Rikku's hair.

Thank you.

The two remained for a while, just like that, before they silently agreed to get up and go back inside. Neither more had to be explained nor done tonight.

It was enough… for now.