Disclaimer: See chapter 1.
Author's note: I know this is like ten years late and I don't really have an excuse (what makes it worse is that I started this is almost immediately after chapter 9 and shit went down and—) but I hope you'll enjoy this and maybe even forgive me. You guys are seriously the best fans I could ever, ever hope for and more. If I may be so presumptuous as to call you fans? Again: I feel rotten, but life smacked me in the face with a buncha stuff.
Chapter summary: Paine and Rikku get some time to try to relax and be alone while elsewhere Brother hounds Gippal about his relationship with the girls. And then, back on the boat, an interesting development is made…
Chapter 10: Fear and Answer
Gee, Paine thought sarcastically, right eyebrow steadily lifting as she stared at Gippal's 'surprise.'
"She's a beaut, huh?" Gippal said, grinning. He gestured excitedly. "How can ya not love her? Her name's Ela Syetah."
Ice Maiden? Paine thought, smirking a little. How original.
"You named her Ice Maiden?" Paine questioned, eyebrow climbing higher. "She's a boat. Shouldn't she be called Water Maiden, instead?"
Gippal looked hurt. "But ice is water!"
Paine rolled her eyes.
"Who cares about her name, I wanna know if she's stable," Rikku said.
Gippal spun and scowled at the thief. "Hey! Come on, you're talkin' to the guy who fixed her up."
Rikku laughed, a little nervously, rubbing the back of her head. "Which is why I asked…"
After the three had met up, Gippal proceeded to weave them in and out of the public, leading them to this.
This being a boat, though 'yacht' might actually describe it better. Admittedly, though it looked as if it'd been patched together with spare machine parts, there was a certain charm about her. A kind of tired-but-still-standing pride that downright demanded your respect. Most of the boat was coloured gunmetal grey, though there was a splattering of black and blue paint. As decoration there were a few fading streaks of painted ice shards in various shades of blue and white. The paint job suggested that Gippal did it himself, mostly likely on another boat that failed. It wasn't bad, just a little off.
Paine exhaled, slowly letting her duffle bag slide off her shoulder and onto the wood beneath her feet. To the warrior's eye, the boat looked to be around forty-five feet long, give or take some inches. Grudgingly, Paine did admit that it looked sturdy, the mismatched materials seamless and shined and somehow reassuring. Though gung-ho about their trade and hobby, Al Bheds did have a knack for machinery, Gippal especially.
Rikku looked up at Paine, cocking her head. "Whaddaya think?" she asked quietly.
Paine glanced at Gippal, who grinned back at her.
"…Looks all right to me," Paine answered, shrugging.
"I knew you'd say that!" Gippal laughed and hopped aboard with boyish ease and enthusiasm. "C'mon, let's get you settled. Rikku? Ya know how to do work one of these, but I want to go over it with you just in case."
"Ummn… sure, okay…" Still hesitant, Rikku followed after giving Paine a cutely exaggerated but nonetheless sincere worried look.
This is going to be… interesting, Paine thought slowly, lifting her bag back up and climbing aboard.
It took a while, but Gippal finally left. He'd nearly gotten his head bit off when he started repeating instructions to Rikku; Paine's glare of annoyance helped speed his departure along.
"So where are we going, exactly?" Paine asked, leaning against one side of the boat. She looked around, noting the other boats moored at this particular dock and the people milling about, casting off and coming in.
"Beats me," Rikku replied, coming from the cabin area. "It's pretty slick down there. Wonder if he was planning to bring a girl on here?" Now that Gippal was gone, she was able to get a better look without having Gippal breathing down her neck and boasting the boat's finer qualities.
Paine snickered and crossed arms. "I wouldn't be surprised. Though…" She trailed off thoughtfully.
Having lost interest in the conversation, Rikku rummaged in the cockpit coolers. Pleasantly surprised, she found what she was pretty sure they were going to have for dinner.
"Well, I guess we better get outta here, huh?" the thief asked, her task complete. She tilted her head then turned and went up to the bridge.
Paine shrugged. She pushed away and followed after a moment's hesitation. She wasn't very fond of boats; she found water sort of boring. Being up in the air was much more exciting. Perhaps it was because she thought there was more danger in the air. Or—
"Heyyy, whatcha thinkin' about? You look pretty deep there, Dr. P," Rikku interrupted. She was seated in one of the chairs and clearing with the dock guard.
"Nothing," was Paine's immediate reply. Then grinned ruefully at the look Rikku shot her. "…I was just thinking about how I'm not so big on the sea."
"Why not?"
"It's… kind of boring, I guess. I mean, it's been the mode of transportation for generations." She shrugged again and gestured. "I'm going below. …Want anything?"
Rikku shook her head, getting the engine going and settling her hands on the wheel. "Nah, but thanks. G'wan. I'll put this puppy on auto in a while."
Paine nodded and climbed down.
The blonde girl followed her with her eyes, brow slightly furrowed. Wonder if she gets seasick? Nah. Not Paine. She almost laughed at the mental image of Paine losing her lunch over the side of the boat. It was irrational, she knew, to laugh at the idea of Paine showing weakness; after all, Paine was only human. But still. Oh well. I gotta stop worryin'! This's supposed to be a vacation. Just the two of us. Rikku smiled, steering the boat smoothly to the right and getting ready to set course.
"They all set?" Buddy asked when Gippal returned.
Sauntering over, Gippal grinned and rested his fists on his hips. "Yep." He looked over at Brother who was oddly quiet in the cockpit. "Hey, Brother! C'mon. There's stuff I wanna show ya back home. But can we swing by Bevelle real quick? I wanna pick up Baralai."
"Hmm?" Brother turned and blinked. "Oh, yes! Yes, of course. Let us go, then!" He prepared to take off, still lost deep in thought.
"Brother, don't you want to—" Buddy started but was cut off as engines whined and the airship lurched forward. He stumbled and yelled, "Wrong way, wrong way, wrong way!" People on the docks scrambled like ants and some even dove into the water as the Celsius threatened to take off their heads or worse.
"What is your problem!" Brother snapped. He yanked at the controls and the Celsius growled and stopped.
Buddy hastily patched through and apologised to the dock guard, glancing uneasily at Brother from the corner of his eyes.
"Whoa, slow down there, man," Gippal said, straightening up. "Um. You okay?"
"I am fine," Brother answered. "Are you sure you do not want to stay, Gippal?"
Gippal and Buddy exchanged looks. "Uh, yeah," Gippal said, "I'm pretty sure I ain't invited."
"I see. Well…"
"Bevelle, Brother," Shinra supplied.
"Yes! To Baralai—I mean, Bevelle!" This time the Celsius rose without incident, though the rest of the boys grabbed hold of something sturdy just in case.
"Hey."
Paine looked up from her snack when Rikku greeted her. It was a barely touched sandwich sitting on a plate, a glass of water next to it. The warrior was sitting in the galley's small booth, slouched comfortably.
"Hi," she replied. She moved a little bit and Rikku came over and sat next to her.
"Gonna eat that?" Rikku asked teasingly, pointing at the sandwich on the table.
Paine shook her head and pushed the plate towards her.
"Oh, I'm not hungry…" Rikku trailed off and took a good look at Paine. "Are you okay?" Her brow furrowed and without thinking she reached up to put the back of her hand against Paine's forehead.
"I'm fine," Paine snapped, batting away Rikku's hand.
"Uh huh. Look, the sea's real calm, so it's not like—"
"I don't get seasick if that's what you're suggesting."
Rikku pursed her lips.
Paine met her eyes and exhaled slowly. "…Sorry." She paused then admitted, "I don't know what's up with me."
Curling her fingers around Paine's forearm, Rikku said, "Okay. Did you really wanna come? You didn't hafta. Ya coulda said something and I wouldn't've minded."
"What? No." Paine looked down at the hand on her arm and tapped it with her free hand. "I want to be here. Maybe…" She chuckled. "Maybe it's been so long since I've had a real… ah, vacation that I don't know what to do with myself."
Slightly surprised that Paine was sharing this with her, Rikku remained silent.
"Anyway." Paine shook her head. "What's the plan?" Other than you and me. It's only expected that something's going to happen and I don't know if I'm ready for that. It's not that I'm regretting my decision, but I don't want things to go too fast. Too much of a chance things'll screw up.
"What plan?"
"We're just gonna cruise around?"
"Oh, well, yeah. That's pretty much it."
"That's the plan."
"Right."
They looked at each other. Rikku grinned.
"Okay." Paine looked down before she returned the grin. "There's a lot of stuff in the fridge." She gestured in the direction of the object in question. "Most of it seems in good condition; not all."
"He has somebody looking after her," Rikku said. She squeezed Paine's wrist gently and stood, moving behind the bar.
"Ah."
"A girl." Rikku giggled and bent down a little to open the fridge, humming.
Paine blinked and took a sip of water. "Oh?"
"Well, so he was telling me." Rikku started to pull out items that weren't in 'good condition.'
"Not Al Bhed, I take it."
"Nope. Not even from Luca, originally. She's from Bevelle."
Paine stood and walked over, leaning against the counter and folding her arms. It was an unconscious motion. When she became aware of it—Rikku brushing up against her as she moved past—Paine rationalised that she just wanted to hear Rikku better.
Right. What a crock. Paine shook her head. "Bevelle?"
"Baralai introduced them," Rikku said. She glanced at Paine and lifted her eyebrows. "On a sorta date like thing."
"What's her name?"
Rikku shrugged. "He didn't say." She didn't seem too concerned about it.
"Hm," Paine sounded, brow furrowing. "He doesn't know the name of the girl who's looking after this thing?"
"Guess they didn't hit it off as well as Baralai thought they might," Rikku said, smiling. She rustled in the fridge and moved to throw some more things into the trash. "Here." She held out a carton of eggs and a few sticks of butters to Paine who took them with a blink. Rikku continued, "Gippal seemed kinda confused about it."
"Baralai introducing them like that?"
"Yeah." Rikku took the eggs and butter back and slid them into the fridge, shutting the door with the heel of her boot. She moved over and put her hands on either side of Paine, fingers curling to the edge of the counter. Paine lifted an eyebrow and tried to refold her arms but the younger girl was close enough where it wasn't possible.
"Hi," Paine said slowly and warily.
She received a bright smile in return. "Hi. Yanno, Gippal's face when he was talking about it…"
Paine frowned. "Yes?"
"Reminded me of something… one of your expressions."
…Where is she going with this? "Ah."
"It's the expression you get when I do something like this." Rikku tucked her arms in and wrapped them around Paine's waist. The taller woman froze and stared over Rikku's head, wondering what her expression was at that exact moment.
"While he was talking to me about it, Baralai and that girl, he'd been telling me about the modifications he'd make to the navigation and telecommunication systems—"
"Uh huh."
"—and he sorta trailed off. And I looked up and asked him if he was okay and he's like, 'Yeah.' An' then I asked him if Baralai had known her long and he didn't answer for a minute and then was like, 'I dunno. Don't think so. It was like—a blind date. But he was there the whole time. I don't even remember a lot of what she'd said.'"
Paine said nothing, but her hands had moved to rest lightly at Rikku's hips. She still didn't look down.
"And I was like, 'He was there the whole time?' And that funny face he had disappeared and he was like, 'Yep.' And then he told me s'more about the boat."
Rikku explained it for her. "The funny face… It's like something just dawned. You know, something clicks in your brain. Like the answer to a question you were afraid of—afraid to ask."
"Um." Paine swallowed. She blinked and looked down.
Rikku was looking up at her and smiling.
"So… you think…" Paine trailed off.
"Mmhmm."
Silence for a while as Paine thought.
Do I really look like that when she hugs me? I don't like people touching me. …As a rule. And they say there's an exception to every rule. This isn't bad, us like this. It's warm. And she's small so it's not like I'm being smothered. So… maybe I do look like that. It certainly feels like I'm a deer in the headlights. Sometimes I want to hug her back but I don't—it sounds so stupid, but it's like I forget to know how to return it. And sometimes—crap. Inappropriately long pause. Well. Sometimes I wanna do something like this…
Her mouth twitched into a slight grin and her hands flexed at Rikku's hips. The thief giggled. "So he's got an expression of mine, huh?" Paine asked.
"Mmhmm." Rikku leaned into Paine.
"Well…" Paine slowly trailed her fingers upwards to stop and rest over Rikku's ribs as the smaller girl inhaled sharply. She continued, "I wonder if he's got one of yours."
"This one?" Rikku murmured. She knew what her expression must be and the thought of Gippal having something like it made her blush.
"No," Paine replied. "This one." And she tickled Rikku lightly, the small grin widening as the thief squealed and squirmed.
"Paine! Augh!"
Chuckling low, Paine tickled her in earnest and Rikku flailed, finding an escape.
"Ever seen that one look of surprise on him?" Paine asked, lifting an eyebrow. She backed away slowly, hands at her sides.
"No, but I'm about to see it on you. C'mere!"
Unable to help it, Paine laughed and dashed out.
"You're toast, Dr. P!" Rikku yelled and ran after her.
Baralai had been picked up and they were now on their way to Bikanel. At a fairly slow speed, since Buddy was nervous as their landing at Bevelle had been kind of jerky.
Wonder what's up with him? Buddy thought, glancing out of the corner of his eye at the tattooed pilot. He can't be that preoccupied with that stupid notion of his, can he? Buddy leaned back and chewed this over. His eyes widened. Am I kidding myself? Of course he can! This is Brother we're talking about. Geez… this is going to be such a mess.
"Shinraaaaa," Brother called.
The young boy didn't turn. "Hm?"
"They say children are very observant. And you are a child."
It wasn't seen but it could be sensed as Shinra scowled. "Get to the point."
Buddy looked over and watched the two, blinking.
"Well. They say that the young ones are able to pick up on emotions better than we adults. Tell me…"
"What!"
"Calm down," Brother said, frowning. "There is no need to be angry. Have you noticed how Rikku and Paine have been acting strange lately?"
Shinra sighed. "So? They're girls."
"Yes, precisely. They seemed even more so, with Gippal here."
"Did they?" Shinra asked rhetorically, sounding bored.
"You know that they are fighting over him, yes?"
"No."
"That is what I—what!"
"No," Shinra repeated. "I don't know that."
"But—you—" Brother sputtered. He turned to Buddy. The dark skinned man quickly turned back to his station, trying to look busy. "Buddy!"
"Uh?"
"Did you hear this?"
"Um…"
"Shinra does not know that those girls are fighting over Gippal!" Brother turned back to Shinra. "How could you not know!"
No reply.
"Shinra!"
A beat and then Shinra said, "I'm just a kid."
A thump echoed through the bridge as Buddy's head slumped forwards and hit his console.
"Paine and Rikku?" Baralai asked. For once he looked surprised.
The two men were seated at the bar in the cabin, nursing drinks that Barkeep had cheerfully supplied before he'd shuffled off to check their stock.
"Yeeeep." Gippal spun on his stool and grinned at his friend, leaning an elbow on the bar. "From Paine's mouth, no less."
"She really told you that?" Baralai sounded dubious.
"Oh, well, she didn't hafta. I kinda knew, man. It was obvious in the way she looked at Rikku. And, hell, she didn't deny it when I threw out that she dug the kid."
"Hmmm." Baralai tilted his head. "Did they look… happy?"
Gippal nodded. "They did. Well. For the most part. Paine looked like she wasn't sure of what was going on. Not, yanno, dumbstruck but…"
"I know." The other man smiled. "I'm glad for them."
"Hey, me too. We all know they need somethin' like that. Seein' all they did and stuff."
Baralai looked away and his expression clouded briefly. "Yes."
It took the Al Bhed to figure out what he'd just insinuated. "Oh, shit, no, that's not—"
Baralai reached over and patted Gippal's shoulder. "It's all right. I know what you meant. You're right. They do deserve happiness. Paine most of all, I think."
"Yeah…"
"Gippal?"
"Yeah?"
"Brother was looking at you rather strangely. Have you noticed?"
Gippal tipped his head back and squinted at the ceiling. Then he nodded and looked back at his friend. "Yeah, actually. I jus' thought it was 'cause it's been a while. Sheesh, he knows I've been busy. I can't exactly hold his damn hand through his whole thing for Yuna."
"This is true." Baralai thought for a moment then shrugged. "I'm sure we'll find out soon enough."
"Hey, knowin' him?" Gippal grinned lopsidedly and slung an arm around Baralai's shoulders good-naturedly. "We'll prob'ly know sooner than later and be none too happy about it."
They both laughed.
"Thought you set it on auto?" Paine asked, coming up from below. The sea was still calm and Paine had been tempted to lie down and be lulled into a nap. But she knew Rikku would tease her endlessly about it and decided that it wasn't worth it.
What was worth it was coming up here and seeing Rikku highlighted by the setting ray's suns. This time, though, the approaching night was at Rikku's back and the sun at her own.
Mushball, Paine told herself with a snort. Finding symbolism in something as simple as night and day. Knock it off. …But shows them right; who says we warriors can't appreciate the scenery? She snapped out of it and walked over.
"Took it off," Rikku answered. "Hey, c'mere. You know how to handle one of these, don'tcha?"
"You tired?" Paine stood behind the second command chair.
"Nope!" Rikku's eyes twinkled and she teased, "You don't know how to, do you?" She stood.
"Sure I do." Paine scowled and pushed Rikku out of the way to take over.
Rikku grinned and waited until the older girl had sat before promptly wrapping her arms around Paine's neck, letting her chin rest on the top of her head.
"What's this for?" Paine took a hand off the controls and put it on top of Rikku's arms.
"'Cause I wanna," Rikku mumbled.
"Oh." Good enough reason, I guess. …Wonder if she'd do it if I wanted her to? Paine shook her head. Of course she would. She'd jump at the chance. She smirked a little and chuckled.
Rikku felt the vibration and snuggled closer. She's in a good mood. I like it. "Seafood tonight."
"Yeah?"
"Mmhmm. Fresh lobster and crab. There's stuff to make a real good sauce I know."
"You're turning into a regular chef."
Rikku giggled and squeezed Paine tight before letting her go. "We'll eat down there?"
"Sure. Sounds good."
Peering over one of Paine's shoulders, Rikku murmured, "Wow. You can handle one of these." She straightened. "Okay, you take it from here an' I'll go get dinner started."
Paine nodded.
Rikku stepped away then looked back over at Paine. The warrior returned the look with a raised eyebrow.
"I'm not sure if I can leave you alone," Rikku said.
Paine rolled her eyes. "Let me guess: I'm irresistible?"
"Nope! Well…" Rikku thought about it then grinned. "Nah. Ya might get into trouble."
"I think you've got it turned around the wrong way, Rikku. It's you who would manage to somehow find trouble in the middle of the sea when there's not a storm cloud or water fiend in sight."
Rikku blinked.
Paine gave Rikku a lopsided grin of her own. "Am I wrong?"
"Sooo wrong." Rikku laughed and went below.
Paine tilted her head back and looked up at the sky, expression softening. Maybe. Or maybe I'm right. Good thing I brought my sword. She chuckled and looked back down, thoughts veering off into those of a nice dinner and Rikku's company.
Mushball?
Yeah.
Dinner on the Celsius came just short of turning into a disaster by about a hair. Nobody had wanted to leave Brother on the bridge alone so they talked him into putting the airship on autopilot and to join them in the cabin. Everybody had settled there—except for Shinra, who had told them he had something more important to do elsewhere—and Barkeep had been making them soup and roast. Brother had gotten restless and decided to add some spices to the soup while Barkeep was in the back for something. The Hypello had caught him at it and chased him out of the kitchen with a wooden spoon, causing the rest of the men to laugh.
Once they were resettled, Brother brought up what'd been troubling him.
"Gippal," Brother said, leaning forwards. He put his hands flat on the table.
"Hmm?" The blond turned from his conversation with Baralai.
"Um, Brother—"
Brother waved a hand. "Quiet, Buddy. I have something I wish to ask of Gippal."
Baralai leaned back and thought about this while Gippal chuckled.
"Lay it on me," he said. "What's on your mind, Brother?"
"My sister," Brother began. "What are your intentions towards her?"
Buddy covered his eyes with a hand and Baralai blinked. Gippal gaped at Brother.
"My… intentions…?"
"Yes." Brother nodded. "Do you wish to—?"
"Brother, I don't think he's—" Buddy started but was once again cut off by the tattooed Al Bhed.
"I said quiet! Please, this is very important. I have reason to believe—"
"Brother, perhaps you haven't—" Baralai tried, but he, too, was cut off.
"I know what I know! My sister is in love with you, Gippal!" Brother slammed a fist into the table.
Everybody went quiet. The only sound was that of Barkeep in the kitchen, stirring the soup and staring at the human male named Brother; he was quite sure that he was crazy.
"Are you blind to this as well?" Brother asked the man across from him.
Gippal shook his head slowly. "Dude, you've got it all wrong. Rikku isn't in love with me."
Brother nodded. "I see. You know that Paine is, but not Rikku, also. Yet what I tell you is the truth."
Buddy opened his mouth, thought better of it, and snapped it shut. Baralai folded his hands in front of him and also remained silent this go around.
"Um, Brother," Gippal began as if explaining something to a small child. "Neither of 'em is into me."
Brother frowned. "I do not understand."
"Right. Um. They're—" Gippal glanced at Buddy and Baralai. "Well, Brother, they're… uh. In love."
Tilting his head, Brother said, "Yes. This is what I just told you. They are in love with you."
Gippal sighed and Baralai took pity on his friend.
"Brother," Baralai said.
The pilot looked at him.
"They're in love with each other, not Gippal."
Brother stared.
"Actually," Buddy said, "I don't think they're aware of it themselves."
Gippal grinned. "Huh. An' here I thought I was the one who did the date 'em and leave 'em thing."
Baralai looked uncomfortable at this.
"Well, Paine seemed kind of confused about it," Brother continued. "I'm sure she's making Rikku take it one day at a time. Though I've never known Rikku to fall in love at first sight."
"They've known each other for years," Baralai pointed out. "Though I don't know her as well as you three, so you may be right."
Brother was still staring at Baralai, eyes glazed over.
"But she's pretty damn clingy," Gippal said, rubbing the back of his head. "An' though she's a sparkplug, I doubt she'd go at somethin' she wasn't gonna be in long-term."
Buddy nodded. "Yeah. It'll probably take them a while to work it out." He smiled. "They sure do have a pretty good case of crushing on each other going on, though."
Baralai chuckled softly. "I look forward to seeing them together." He blushed lightly. "However, it's none of our business. We shouldn't gossip. I'm sure we'll—" He stopped and noticed Brother still had his gaze narrowed on Baralai. "…Yes?"
Gippal leaned over and waved a hand in front of Brother's face. "Yo. You okay there, man?"
Buddy tapped Brother on the shoulder. "Brother, you with us?"
Brother blinked and his eyes refocused. He looked around at the three men then asked them all, "My sister and Paine… are…?"
They nodded.
"I see," he said.
Then he fainted.
Barkeep shuffled from behind the bar. The Hypello looked down at Brother then up at the other blinking three to happily announce, "Shupper'sh ready!"
"Supper's ready," Rikku called from below.
She didn't receive a reply. Paine had put the boat on auto and had taken a seat portside; legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles, arms folded over her chest. The sun had set quite a while ago and now it was dark, the stars above them beaming without city lights to dim them. The lights of the yacht were of no comparison, only highlighting shadows.
"Hey… you falling asleep?" Rikku teased after coming up, plopping down beside her.
Paine rolled her head to look at Rikku. "No. Just thinking."
"About?"
You and me. What else? Paine shrugged and stood but Rikku reached out and put a hand on her arm, stopping her from walking away.
"Paine."
"Yeah?" Shit. What is this? Don't go all mopey on her. She doesn't deserve that and it isn't like you. There's nothing wrong. I just feel—so wound up. Waiting for something to happen.
Rikku stood and moved to stand in front of Paine. She looked up and asked, "What's wrong?"
"I'm being an idiot, aren't I?"
The thief's mouth twitched and she almost smiled. "No. You aren't. I'm—" She swallowed. "Going too fast? I'm sorry about earlier, I just—I like—" Touching you.
Paine exhaled and put her forearms on Rikku's shoulders. I can do this, she told herself. Out loud she said, "Don't be sorry. I'm the one who's sorry. I don't know how to… to verbalise all this."
"If it makes you feel any better, I don't really know how to either." Rikku leaned forward, her forehead against Paine's sternum.
Paine folded her arms behind Rikku's neck and looked out at the rising moon. Take a deep breath. She did so. Let it out. She did that, too. Okay. It's just dinner. We're fine. There's more than one state room, so it's not like you'll be in the same bed if you don't want to. But I do and that's the thing, isn't it? She's not pressuring me. Well, no more than usual and I know she's not pushing in that regard.
"Paine."
The taller woman looked down. Rikku tilted her head back.
"Yeah?"
"You're thinking too much," Rikku murmured.
Paine couldn't read her eyes—her face was with the shadows. Yes. "You said something about dinner," she said slowly.
Rikku laughed and pulled away, hands moving up and her fingers finding Paine's. Once they were interlaced, Rikku tugged. "Yep. C'mon. It's good."
"So you say."
"Trust me."
Trust you?
Paine held back a smile.
…Okay.
They went down.
They'd landed thanks to Gippal. Brother, once conscious, had slunk off somewhere. Buddy had suggested they leave him be and everyone had been more than happy to.
Now they were settling down for the night, Gippal getting into contact with his crew and letting them know they'd be out later.
"Think Brother'll be all right?" Buddy asked. Gippal, Baralai and he had taken up the three beds in the cabin as their own. None of them wanted to be around Brother; they were afraid he might get angry and throw a tantrum.
"Sure," Gippal said. He stretched out on Paine's bed and yawned. "He's tough stuff. It'll just hafta sit for a while."
"Gippal's right," Baralai said. He was on Rikku's bed and curled up, ready for sleep. "We'll just have to leave him alone until he's ready to talk."
"I guess," Brother said. He turned over in Yuna's bed and yawned. "G'night, guys."
"Goodnight," the other two said.
Sounds of shuffling beneath covers and soon enough snoring were all that could be heard. But eventually Gippal rolled to face Baralai and found the other man watching him.
"Hey," Gippal whispered.
"Yes?" Baralai asked, amused.
"Ya really think he'll be okay?"
"You two know him better than I do."
"Yeah, but… you're a better judge of character."
Baralai laughed quietly. "He'll be fine," he assured his friend. "These things take time."
"'These things?'" Gippal grinned.
"Yes." Baralai thought for a moment the explained, "Though he won't readily admit it, he cares a lot for Rikku. And I suspect, in some fashion, for Paine as well."
Gippal made a face.
"As a sibling," Baralai supplied, smiling. "You can care for your sibling but get along as well as a cat gets along with a dog."
"Uh huh." Gippal mulled over this. "So… you think he's got the idea, he just doesn't wanna see Rikku hurt?"
"Yes."
"I wonder if he ain't just a little bit jealous."
Baralai raised his eyebrows questioningly.
"I mean." Gippal shrugged. "He's got that thing for Yuna, right?"
"Mn." Baralai nodded.
"And she's with Tidus. And… I guess… well… Buddy's got a girl here."
"Does he?"
Gippal nodded.
"Hm."
"Anyway. Shinra—well, he's just a kid."
The two shared a chuckle over that.
"Barkeep—who knows, maybe he's got a wife and a dozen kids back home. And, well, I'm—" Gippal cleared his throat. "Well, yanno." He watched Baralai very carefully.
"You're you?" Baralai replied slowly.
"Something like that."
They looked at each other.
"You aren't one to be tied down," Baralai pointed out.
"I guess not… but maybe I just haven't met the right person yet."
"I'm sure you'll find her if you keep going through girls as you do."
Gippal smiled crookedly. "You make me sound like some sort of player."
Baralai returned the smile, however forced it seemed. "No. You're no womaniser. This is why people try and set you up as much as they do; you don't seem to make much of an initiative yourself." He paused. "You're a good man, Gippal."
"Thanks. You ain't so bad yourself."
They grinned at each other.
"Okay, cool. Thanks. I just wanted to get your opinion on it."
"Anytime, Gippal."
"G'night, man."
"Goodnight."
"I think you're getting better," Paine said, relaxing on her side of the booth.
"Better?"
Paine gestured at her empty plate. "At cooking." She gave the thief a lazy grin. "That was fantastic."
Rikku blushed and took a sip of her water. "Thanks."
Paine nodded. Then she chuckled and stood. Rikku began to rise as well but Paine pushed her back down gently.
"You cooked, I'll clean," she mumbled and gathered the dishes.
"Thanks," Rikku repeated, watching the other woman tidy up.
"Least I can do."
"Oh, I don't know about that," Rikku drawled.
Paine chuckled again. She set the dishes in the sink and ran water over them, adding soap before stopping up the sink to let them soak. She wiped her hands off on a towel and came back.
"Wine to go with it," Paine said, picking up her glass of the liquid and taking a sip. "Gippal thinks of everything."
"Or that girl of his does."
"Point taken."
They grinned at each other.
"Could I talk you into stargazing with me again?" Rikku asked, looking at Paine over the rim of her glass.
Paine blinked and thought about it. What could it hurt? Besides, it's kind of… nice. Sort of. Even though her decision had just been made, Paine pretended to think it over some more. "What do I get out of it?"
"My sparkling personality making for charming company?" Rikku tried.
Paine lifted an eyebrow.
"A breath of fresh air?"
Paine remained silent.
Rikku sighed dramatically. "A kiss. You'll get a kiss."
Paine swallowed. Oh man. "Come on," she said roughly, standing up and finishing off her wine in a large gulp.
Rikku got up and tilted her head. "All you wanted was a kiss?" She was half-teasing and half-serious, wondering.
"No," Paine said and led the way out. "I was saving you the embarrassment of what you might offer after that."
Rikku blushed just as Paine suspected and she held the door to the cockpit open with a smirk. "After you."
"Meanie," Rikku whispered as she slipped past.
As if. Paine followed.
They went up to the bridge since it had more comfortable seats and afforded a better view of the stars. Once they were settled—far too close for Paine's heart for it to keep its rhythm—Rikku started pointing out shapes in the sky. Paine was quiet most of the time, content to watch Rikku and listen to her. But the blonde would say something silly just to make sure Paine really was paying attention. She'd get a sarcastic quip in reply, which only made her laugh and lean against the warrior briefly. Then the thief settled down and they just stared up at the sky together, their shoulders touching.
"I wonder what the guys are up to," Rikku said.
"Are you really?"
Rikku laughed. "No. Not really. It's just something to say." She turned and looked up at Paine. "Are you?"
What guys? Paine thought stupidly. She'd caught Rikku's gaze and was helpless to do anything but hold it. No. Talking about Gippal was the last I'd thought of anyone else. She said, "No," and looked away.
You come so close and then you just… pull away, Rikku thought. She wasn't mad but she thought she might be a little sad. Are you so afraid of what might happen? Rikku hesitantly reached up and touched Paine's jaw, feeling it immediately clench. "Look at me," she whispered.
Why? Paine looked at her and swallowed at what she saw.
"I won't hurt you," Rikku murmured.
I trust you. Paine nodded very slowly. I just don't know if I can't trust myself.
"It's okay." And that was all Rikku said before she was leaning up and placing her lips at one corner of Paine's mouth. There was no resistance but she still pulled back, looking into Paine's eyes and wanting to find something there.
Paine reached up, put her fingers on Rikku's that were at her jaw, and kissed her.
Rikku felt something in her chest rise up and she pressed closer, her other hand coming up to rest on the other side of Paine's face. She kissed back, her eyes betraying her mind and falling shut.
Paine watched her with a sense of wonder and removed her hand, but not her mouth from Rikku's.
They kissed for several slow moments and when they parted, Paine was surprised to find that she had to open her eyes; her eyelids felt heavy.
Rikku started to say something and Paine pulled away.
"Hold on," Paine exhaled. She pushed to her feet and wiped her palms on her pants. "I—I need—" She looked at Rikku, who looked at her with kind understanding. "Space." Rikku nodded and Paine carefully scrambled down.
Once she heard the door to the galley open and shut, Rikku released a heavy breath and leaned back, finding herself shaking. She ran her hands down her face, trying to slow her heart down by just willing it to happen.
She looked up. We'll be okay. Won't we? I didn't just screw up, did I? I don't think I did. It's so hard to tell with her. I should give her that space. Right?
The stars didn't answer.
Right. She got up. Might as well do something to pass the time, she thought and sat down, taking off the autopilot. I'm not sorry for that, Paine, but I hope you're okay.
Down below Paine was sitting in the lounge, staring down at the boards beneath her feet. It's okay, she thought.
It's okay.
"What are you thinking about?" Rikku asked gently an hour later. She entered the lounge area and sat down beside Paine, crossing her legs.
Both had calmed down considerably during that hour and neither felt like they were going to explode. But there was an awkwardness there that made both uneasy.
Paine shrugged, resting her elbows on her knees. Her head fell forward, long bangs shrouding some of her face and most certainly her eyes. "…Earlier…"
Rikku waited patiently, furiously shoving back the urge to run her fingers through Paine's hair.
"…I…" Paine sighed then frowned, turning her head in Rikku's direction. "I'm being an idiot again, huh?" Either she was avoiding saying what she originally intended or she was trying to get her thoughts more organised before she voiced them.
Either was a very Paine thing to do and Rikku was slowly coming to understand how to react to these Paine things in a way that didn't get her arm punched. Or get her thrown overboard.
"Nooo," Rikku drawled softly. She leaned back on her hands, legs sliding out smoothly from beneath her, heels thumping lightly against the wood of the seat. "You're not being an idiot. You're being…" She smiled, not unkindly, head turning towards Paine. "Yourself. It's okay. It's a—a lot to take in."
Paine straightened, heightening Rikku's urge by running her own fingers through her bangs. A sure sign of unease and one that made Rikku wince sympathetically. "I… was kind of planning this," Paine admitted. Rikku's eyebrows shot up in reflexive surprise. The warrior almost chuckled. "I mean, eventually. This week." Was that a blush fighting its way to flush her cheeks? "Just not so damn soon," she finished, glancing away.
The blonde hesitated. She could assure the other woman that it really was all right or she could remain silent and wait for Paine's whatever-it-was to run its course. Hopefully it wouldn't leave them stranded on a bad road in the meantime. A thought struck her and she couldn't help but say it, ask it. It was unbidden and certainly unwanted but it came out all the same.
"I-it wasn't that b-bad, was it?" Rikku stammered, easily blushing. The last thing she wanted to do was turn Paine away and though she didn't regret it, maybe it had been too sudden. Stupid! We were supposed to go slow, remember? But she looked like she—
"No," was Paine's quiet but immediate reply. "No, it wasn't bad at all, Rikku." This time she did chuckle, low in her throat, and faced her companion. A rueful smile began to tug at the corners of her mouth. Rikku smiled openly but shyly. "I just, ah, you know. That was…"
"That wasn't your first, was it?"
"No. And I don't imagine it was yours."
"No," Rikku agreed and giggled.
"It was just… different." Paine looked up thoughtfully. "Kind of nice."
Rikku licked her lips, oddly nervous again.
"I'm just." Paine met Rikku's eyes with her own slightly narrowed ones. "I haven't felt this kind of… attraction… in a while. A long while, actually. And even though you're, ah, cute and everything—"
"—You're worried about ruining our friendship?"
"I don't know." She half-shrugged. "I don't think I'd let that happen. At least, I'd like to think I wouldn't. But it's a possibility." A wry smirk. "It's been said I'm not exactly the best person to be in any sort of relationship with."
"You're worth it," Rikku said earnestly. She leaned forward, hands flying up to wrap around Paine's shoulders. "You're so worth it. It doesn't—people don't—" She exhaled, blowing her bangs out of her eyes, frustrated with her inability to articulate her thoughts. "When people look at you, they see someone strong and silent, ya know? The typical warrior type. They see someone to count on to get a job done, no matter how nasty it is. And I see that, too, when I look at you, but I also see…"
Paine waited, a little mystified, eyes widening.
"I want to say—I don't know! 'Gentleness' isn't the right word." Rikku tightened her hold on Paine's shoulders. "It's kinda what I saw in Lulu and Auron. They were so… strong, so smart, ya know?" She laughed brightly. "They were cute, too, but." She turned serious again, gaze searching Paine's. "There's something in you that excites me, something they didn't have. I want to—I want to push and I want to pull on both of us until I can see what that thing is all the time, where I can sense it, where I can feel it on the surface all the time. I can only catch glimpses of it when you're quiet and thinking, when you comfort Yuna in your forward way, when you tell people how it is and how it's gonna be under no uncertain terms."
She paused, letting both of them absorb her words, both also somewhat surprised.
Then she continued, green eyes gentling. "I catch glimpses of it when you fight, how you know you're gonna win, when you run your fingers through your hair and smirk and get this look in your eye that just—" She shivered, turning self-conscious. Her hands dropped away and she wrapped her arms around herself. "It scares me sometimes. The intensity of you. Does that make sense? Maybe it's selfish, but, Paine… I…" She finally trailed off, looking away.
The only sound between them, surrounding them, was the gentle hum of the Ela Svetah; the brush and splash of waves; the cries of unidentifiable birds; the low groans of water fiends that came just a little too close before veering off at the warning growl of the boat's engines. This was how it remained for five minutes, fifteen, half an hour?
Rikku, I… …Should I hate you? For this? Paine thought as she drew Rikku to her, draping her arms over the girl's narrow shoulders and hugging her, tight and gentle at the same time; large hands falling to Rikku's shoulder blades, fingers searching and finding purchase on smooth muscle and sturdy bone.
A mewling sound, tiny and soft, emerged from Rikku's throat as she placed her hands on Paine's chest, her own fingers curling around the warrior's pendant as if she found comfort in the symbol.
Even if I should, I don't. I can't. Am I—is this what it's like to—to fall in love? Paine wondered. She closed her eyes and rested her chin atop Rikku's head with a small sigh. I don't—I don't know. I've known you for a long time but I've never paid attention. Not enough attention. But apparently that doesn't matter. I came to care for you, for you and Yuna both, like I cared for Gippal and Baralai and Nooj. You're all like family, except you, you specifically. What makes you different? What's in you that isn't in them? I just thought you were some annoying kid trying to stay young while trying to take on an adult's responsibility. But, to be honest, I was just a kid myself. Why'd I make myself grow up so fast? …Is that… is that why I… like you? Because you're what I should have been? …Is that fair to you? Is it fair to me? I don't—damn it, I don't know!
"You're thinking too much again," the thief mumbled into Paine's shirt with a quiet giggle.
Yeah, you're right. Paine nodded slowly, squeezing the smaller girl in added acknowledgment.
"I can't stop you from thinking," Rikku began, lifting her head, "but maybe I can stop you from thinking too much." She smiled slowly. "What do you say?"
Paine said nothing. She lowered her head, mouth falling to Rikku's.
Minds were completely silent, then. Hearts took their turn to speak, roaring like fire in their freedom.