That night
Hotaru sat with her bedroom door open leading out to the engawa slightly ajar to allow the cool breeze in. She felt like a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders.
Things are finally turning around for us she thought, caressing her belly. Nothing could bring Kyojuro back, she knew but at least now her child would have a better future than living an impoverished life on the streets. She wanted her child to be connected and to have knowledge about their father's lineage as a Rengoku. Kyojuro had come from a long line of hashira and his family had prestige and honor as a result of that unlike her own lowly mainly unknown origins. Whether her child chooses to follow in their father's footsteps or not she would support whatever they wanted to do in life. All she wanted was her child to be happy.
Hotaru closed the bedroom door and went to use the facilities with the intention of heading to bed after. However on her way back she heard some strange noises coming from someone's room. There was a door down the hallway where the sound was coming from. Curiosity overtook her and she went to investigate despite a bit of trepidation creeping in. Hotaru moved quickly past Shinjuro's room to where the sound was coming from near the end of the hall. She slowly slid the door slightly ajar to peek inside.
Hotaru saw Senjuro in his bed but he wasn't fully asleep nor fully awake. It turned out he was tossing and turning. She entered and moved closer to him. Upon closer investigation, it appeared he was having a nightmare as there were tears in his face and he was whimpering. Hotaru crouched down with one hand on her belly and sat near him.
Oh poor baby Hotaru thought about all that poor Senjuro had been through. She couldn't just let him continue being in that awful state.
"Senjuro, shhh, it's ok. I'm here," she soothingly rubbed his shoulders and back.
After a few moments Hotaru saw his flame colored eyes open. He sat up and rubbed his eyes.
"Oh I'm sorry if I woke you up," he said.
"You didn't wake me up. It seemed like something was bothering you. If you would like you can tell me, of course you don't have to if you don't want to," Hotaru added quickly.
Senjuro looked down at hands. "These bad dreams started shortly after my brother's passing. It didn't help whenever Chichue (father) yelled at me or told me to get over Kyojuro's death. The dreams always end with my brother covered in blood," Senjuro closed his eyes.
"That's awful," Hotaru said.
"I try to be strong and keep on living because I know that's what Kyojuro would want me to do," Senjuro said hands starting to shake a bit. "But it's-it's so hard. I feel so alone."
Hotaru saw tears fall into his lap. She felt so bad for Senjuro and how he was hurting. Hotaru scooted closer and pulled him into a hug. He cried silently for a few moments before composing himself.
"If you don't mind I could stay with you until you fall asleep," she said.
Senjuro nodded, then went to lay down again.
Hotaru laid down next to him, giving some space between the two. She waited until his breathing evened out and then she gave in to sleep.
The days had started to pass by and Hotaru fell into a predictable routine. The young woman would rise to start breakfast for Senjuro and Shinjuro. Senjuro would help her with breakfast and with the chores. Most days it was only Senjuro and Hotaru that ate together. Shinjuro normally ate in his room. Hotaru would leave the plate of food outside of his room and then return later to find the plate empty after he'd eaten. He preferred to stay in his quarters most of the day, occasionally making an appearance if he needed something.
After breakfast, Hotaru would start light chores around the house being careful due to her pregnancy. Senjuro often fretted about her, constantly reminding her to be careful and offering to do things that he thought were too risky. Then the rest of the day consisted of resting and relaxing and running the occasional errand if needed and doing various things around the estate. Once a week at night, Hotaru would complete the kankagari ritual in which she would stare at a flame torch for two hours. Kyojuro had told her about the ritual early on in the relationship when she asked where his flame colored hair came from. Senjuro normally would keep her company during this time as well.
Hotaru greatly enjoyed her life at the Rengoku estate. Senjuro was wonderful company and she didn't feel as alone as before, however she hoped that Shinjuro would eventually come around to being around her and Senjuro more. She always stated that he was welcome to join them for meals and such but she never got a reply. In truth she felt bad for the older man, he had lost his wife and now he lost his eldest son. Hotaru had seen a picture of Shinjuro's late wife, Ruka in one of the rooms as she was cleaning. Her black hair and piercing eyes took her breath away when she saw the portrait. Kyojuro and Senjuro had a beautiful mother. Hotaru heard Kyojuro speak highly of his parents even though his father was mean to him and said hurtful things. Hotaru admired Kyojuro, that he always held his head up high despite what obstacles came his way.
Hotaru assumed this day would be like any other day however she was in for a bit of a surprise.
"Hotaru! What are you doing, get down from there," Senjuro said.
She was standing on a stepping stool getting something from a shelf.
"Just grabbing an extra bowl for your father in case he happens to show up or wants seconds," she said.
"Be careful, ok," Senjuro said with a worried look.
She always insisted on setting a spot for him in case he changed his mind and wanted to join him. Senjuro said that was unlikely but Hotaru insisted on it.
Breakfast was almost ready, a light meal of miso soup, rice, and grilled fish that Senjuro and her had picked up at the market. Hotaru started plating the fish and Senjuro started scooping the rice and soup into bowls. Just as they were about to sit down, Hotaru saw a tall figure emerge from the corner. It was Shinjuro much to their surprise. After a brief second of silence, Hotaru went to the kitchen after excusing herself to plate his food.
As she set the food down in front of him she said, "Pardon my reach," then pausing she took a breath, "Chichue (father)."
She winced, expecting a sharp reply, when none came she seated herself next to Senjuro.
"Meshiagare (the food is ready)," Hotaru said.
"Itadakimasu," they all said together. They began to eat.
After a few moments Shinjuro said, "Hotaru, get up."
He exited the room. Hotaru looked at Senjuro with a confused look.
Shinjuro returned with extra pillows. He set them down where she was sitting.
"Extra support with the baby," he said simply then resumed eating.
"Thank you," Hotaru said sincerely.
The rest of the meal passed in silence but Hotaru had never felt happier. She wished Kyojuro could see this.