Chapter 19

John agreed to take Natalie to AC to see Dr. Winters he tried his best to talk her out of what she was about to do but he knew Natalie's decision was made, she needed to do this for Elizabeth. As they drove to AC John thought about what she told him she was going to do and why. She was going to let her go, let her be, she couldn't stand to see her child so miserable, Elizabeth was obviously happy with her dad and even John had to admit although the man was an ass he seem to take good care of her, he thought about some of the information he had on the Dr. and he seem to check out, he didn't seem to be involved in anything shady but there just was something about him John couldn't put his finger on. John shook it off thinking he just hated the man for what he took from Natalie, for telling Natalie that her baby was dead and for giving her to his dying wife. John knew all to well what it felt like to want to give the person you love everything, things maybe you thought were impossible. Deep down inside Natalie thought the same way, although he was a monster to her, he did it for his sick wife who couldn't have children, he had done it because he wanted to give her everything.

John thought some more about Natalie's decision, he thought how some might think it was giving up to soon, not fighting hard enough, not being strong enough, but John knew that wasn't the case. It was a selfless act, an act that was killing her inside and that would probably continue to kill her inside for years, heck maybe forever. She never ceased to amaze him, her strength, how strong of a person she was, to sacrifice her feelings to let her child be happy. To be happy with a man that did something so awful to her, she definitely had more strength than he did, he thought. He looked over at her in the passenger seat and he watched as he saw the sadness in her face. He had only hoped after all of this he could find the right time to finally ask her, ask her to marry him, then maybe they could plan the family they wanted together. The family they had dreamed about together, maybe that would help, help with her everyday heartache of not being able to be around her daughter.

Natalie sat in the car as John drove and she was speechless, she had explained why she needed to do what she needed to do, she felt it was right for Elizabeth, she didn't want to cause her anymore pain. She knew she had to do this although in her heart she didn't want to, all she wanted to do was hold her daughter and never let her go, but she couldn't, she hadn't even held her once, two months and she barely even held a conversation with her. She looked at John as she tried so very hard to make herself numb. This was the hardest decision she had ever had to make in her life. She continued to look over at John and she grabbed for his hand. She held it tightly as he drove with the other; she tightened her grip even more as a few tears escaped her eyes. She probably could've cried for hours, rivers full of tears right now but she couldn't, not now, after, after she did it, then she would give in to them, give in and let John hold her all night. She pushed the tears back far and deep as she noticed they arrived at the clinic.

John and Natalie walked into the Clinic holding hands as they saw Nurse Nancy was at her desk. When Nurse Nancy saw them she gave them a dirty look and then they asked to speak to Dr. Winters. Nurse Nancy almost refused to let them when John sternly insisted on it. Natalie was pointed towards the Dr.'s office and she asked John to let her do this alone. She went into his office to wait for him she took a seat. John waited impatiently right outside the door of the office, listening to make sure the Dr didn't do anything to Natalie. John looked around and noticed Elizabeth was sitting in a room down the hall. John approached the room with Elizabeth in it and he walked into it.

"What are you doing here? And don't tell me Natalie's here too" Elizabeth asked John when she saw him

"Natalie's in talking with your dad. " John answered her as he took a seat in a chair across from her.

"What's she talking to him about?" Elizabeth asked confused

"I'm not the one that should tell you, but. But what I can tell you is Natalie, your mother, it's really a shame you never took the time to get to know her, she's amazing, she's got more love than any body I've ever known, much more forgiveness than I've got that's for sure." John told her as he saw Elizabeth's face get stubborn

"Tell it to someone who cares" Elizabeth said as she got up out of her seat and started walking out of the door.

"It's your loss " John said as he watched her leave the room. John waited a few minutes and then he walked back over by the Dr's office to wait for Natalie.

Elizabeth left John in the room and she was curious to know what was going on, she walked into a exam room that was attached to her fathers office, she slightly opened the door and saw the back of Natalie sitting in the chair at her dad's desk. She watched and listened as her dad came into his office.

Dr Winters entered the room confused and he took a seat at his desk in front of her.

"What is it Ms. Buchanan, we really aren't suppose to be talking without our attorney present it could jeopardize our cases." Dr Winters told her in his usual arrogant tone

"That's what I want to talk to you about, I'm dropping my case" Natalie told him looking straight at him

"What do you mean you're dropping your case?" he asked in a confused tone

"Exactly what it sounds like, you had no right to do what you did but I can't sit around and watch her be so miserable weekend after weekend and then if I would get custody, I feel it would be worse. Although I hate you and you were wrong for taking my daughter away, I could understand why you felt you needed to give your wife a child."

"She was dying, it's all she ever wanted in life and I really did think at the time that I was doing what was best for you, you couldn't take care of a child at that age, you had no support from your mom you had no one" Dr Winters said as his tone was different, sincere.

"Stop right there, you had no right to take away my choice but I don't want to make this about that. It's about Elizabeth and I feel you've taken good care of her all these years and I won't be fighting you in court, she doesn't have to come for the weekends if she doesn't want to." Natalie said as she started to fidget with her fingers

"Are you sure?" Dr Winters asked her

"Yes, I don't want her to have a miserable childhood, I don't want her to grow up to resent me. Just know I will be keeping tabs on you, on her and if I find something out of line I'm going to be involved and if she ever wants to see me, I fully expect you to allow it." Natalie got the words out with sadness evident in her voice

"Thank you" He told her as he watched her rise from her seat

"Tell her I'm sorry" Natalie said as she ran out of the office before she could cry, she hadn't wanted to cry in front of him, not in this place, this clinic. She ran passed John and he followed her out to the car. He got in the car with her and the tears came, all the tears came, they came pouring out as he leaned in and grabbed her and held her.

A few days had passed and Natalie was at her desk at work when Nick had come over and sat at the chair next to her desk.

"How are you?" Nick asked with a small smile

"I'm okay, thanks," Natalie answered back with a sad smile

"I know we haven't had much time to talk over the last few months but I wanted to make sure you were alright, I mean.. I no things are tough with all that you've been thru but I'm glad you have John, I only wish it was me you were leaning on but.. John.. Well don't tell him I said so but he's a really good guy and I can tell he takes good care of you, I bet he even does all the cooking." Nick said as he saw her get a confused look on her face.

"Thanks, and you bet he does all the cooking?" Natalie said in a joking tone

"Yeah, well, I know you're not much of a cook and well, I actually think you look great but, you do look like you've put on a few pounds." Nick told her honestly

"Thanks, I think?" Natalie said and Nick leaned in and kissed her cheek, he got up and left her desk.

Natalie was still a little confused about what Nick had said, she didn't even realize she gained any weight, she walked into the locker room, she went by the long mirror and she lifted her shirt up by her belly. She looked at her belly and got really confused, she looked at her legs, they seem to be fine, nothing else seem to be any different, just her belly. Then it hit her, hit her like a ton of bricks. She searched her mind, searched her memory for her last cycle, she couldn't even remember it, then she remembered how sick she's been over the last three and a half months, she thought it was nerves.

"Oh. MY. God. I think I'm pregnant" Natalie said out loud to herself as she didn't see him come into the locker room looking for her.