Addressing the Issue
Are
Kurama
and Hiei
Hiei did not like rain.
Kurama watched in amusement as Hiei continued to fidget as he had been doing for the whole time since the rain started. He supposed that Hiei's discomfort, as he put it lightly, with the rain had something to do with his elemental being. Fire gets extinguished by water, hence the uneasiness when it rained. But Kurama never saw Hiei this edgy on a rainy day. And he was the type of person that found water soothing rather than irritating.
"Is there something on your mind Hiei?" Kurama finally asked the smaller demon, tried of guessing what was wrong with him.
He saw Hiei look at him from the corner of his eye and then began to move about restlessly. "It's nothing."
"It doesn't look like nothing."
"Hn."
Ah, the famous "Hn". Used especially if Hiei didn't want to actually say something, but it had so much meaning behind it. Most likely a defense mechanism developed when he was a child. Kurama smiled to himself. A picture of Hiei even smaller, with childlike eyes, and a cute scowl on his face saying, "Hn," ran around his mind while swinging a katana in all directions.
As much as Kurama loved analyzing Hiei, he wished that he knew the fire demon when he was a child. It was difficult to image Hiei ever being a child. From his personality, he probably loved killing and fighting since he was young. Of course they never talked about Hiei's past, nor did they talk about his past. It was just something that they never discussed; an unspoken rule that was never meant to be broken unless it meant life or death.
The past could not be changed but the future could.
But they barely talked about the future either. It was the present that they conversed about. Because to them, that was all that really mattered. To them, doing something now rather than later meant little regrets in the future. In Makai, regrets were something one could not afford. It could decide whether one could see the next day arrive.
So Kurama continued to watch Hiei pace his house agitatedly while looking out the window and occasionally glaring at the rain.
"Are you sure that nothing is bothering you?" Kurama tired again.
"Hn."
"Nothing wrong with Botan or the twins?"
Hiei paused. "They're fine."
Kurama raised an eyebrow. "Did you and Botan have a fight?"
Hiei looked at him like he was stupid.
"I take that as a no then."
"Hn."
Silence. Hiei glared at the rain. Kurama sighed. "Do you not like the rain?"
"Botan's pregnant."
That wasn't the answer that the fox demon was looking for but it certainly did explain the fire demon's behavior. When a male demon's mate becomes pregnant, the male usually becomes overprotective and won't stray far from his mate or leave them for very long. No wonder why Hiei was so grumpy today.
The familiar pang of jealousy and lost hit Kurama. Maybe if he had been more forward with his feelings, it wouldn't have gotten this far. Though he knew that he had lost a long time ago, he still couldn't find it in himself to move on. The feeling of the lost sent him to a state of grief, and from there, he did something very terrible to Shizuru.
"So why aren't you at home with her?"
"She's with the kids visiting Yusuke and his bratlings."
"I see."
The two listened to the rain. Because of their demonic hearing, they could hear every individual drop that fell. If they paid close attention they could also pin point where every drop fell.
"The rain was quite unexpected. There was no clue telling that it would start raining today," Kurama said to fill the silence. "Do you know if the baby is a boy or girl? Or maybe both?"
"It's too early to tell."
Hiei moved to lean on the wall near the window and looked out. Kurama always wondered what Hiei was looking at. Usually it was something that only Hiei could see. Whatever it was, to Hiei, it was as if he didn't stop looking, it would go away and never come back. That something unattainable and yet always trying his best to reach it. it was the same with Kurama. The only difference was that he didn't have to look out the window. He just had to look at the person looking out the window.
"You always stare at me," Hiei stated.
"Is that a problem?" Kurama asked nonchalantly.
"If you're going to stare," Hiei crooked his head to the side to look at the kitsune. "The least you could do is tell me what you want to say."
There were so many things that Kurama want to say to Hiei. So many words unsaid and unneeded to be said because Hiei already knew. He wasn't some idiot that Kurama needed to spell out what was going on in his mind. Most of the time.
"If I tell you, what will you say?"
Hiei didn't answer him. Kurama sighed. He should have expected that. Kurama lied down on his bed. He didn't feel ready to tell him just yet. Maybe in another minute or so he will.
"Shizuru's birthday is coming up," Hiei observed.
"Yes," Kurama agreed and flinched. And two months after that, the baby will be born.
"I think the onna wants to plan a surprise party for her."
A birthday party surprise or a baby shower surprise? The feelings of regret, guilt, and sorrow made its way to the pit of Kurama's stomach like so many times before. Ever since he first realized what he had done and when she came up to him and told him. Never before had he felt so dirty. Never before had he felt the desire for some to hold him and support him instead of the other way around, like he had done so for people numerous times before.
Nevertheless, even with the shame, he still had to do this one thing that he had been longing to do for years. He still had that one chance. And Kurama wasn't the type of person to let a chance just go by.
"How long did you know?" he changed the subject back.
"Don't ask such ridicules questions," Hiei said.
"Was I really that obvious?" Kurama smacked himself inside. It's a sad day when the great Yoko Kurama couldn't fool a person what he is really feeling.
"Only to those who watch you closely."
"I see." Kurama closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again, he said, "I love you."
He expected Hiei to not say a thing. To only hear the rain as an answer. But instead, Hiei said quietly, "I love you too."
Happiness flooded Kurama. Then Hiei continued on, and it was to be expected, "But you know that we could never be together."
Sadness mixed with happiness. But Kurama would take what he could get. "I know."
The sound of rain once again filled the room. That was how it was going to be. Kurama knew that nothing really good could happen when he came out with his confession. That didn't stop him because he knew that if he didn't tell Hiei then, he never would in the future. He would always be like a ghost. Floating around, waiting for something that could never be and always licking old wounds that never quite healed.
"Things will remain the same," Kurama voiced out his thoughts.
"Hn."
Then something occurred to him. "Does Botan know?"
"She has a vague idea." Hiei shifted slightly with discomfort.
Kurama dropped the subject. He couldn't deny that he wanted more from Hiei. Just as he was about to talk about things that would make the both of them at ease, something happen. Warm lips touched his. Even though it lasted for about a second, to Kurama, it felt like a life time. When Hiei pulled away, Kurama touched his lips and pressed them together to hold the warmth that graced his lips.
"Don't expect me to do that again," Hiei said. He stared at Kurama.
All Kurama could do at that moment was smile.
