Addressing the Issue

Shizuru and Yukina

Shizuru made her way to the porch of the temple to sit down. She never wanted to be pregnant again. She didn't know how Keiko, Botan, and Yukina did it, but the morning sickness alone made her consider if she should really have this baby. She flinched at the thought of the contractions that were going to come soon.

Despite the joys she had at taking care of baby brother, she never thought that she would be having kids of her own one day. She wasn't sure if she even wanted kids. After the shock of discovering that she was pregnant, Shizuru spent some serious alone time, taking only to her brother and refusing to look at Kurama. Upon deciding to keep the baby, Shizuru knew that her life would never be the same again.

She had to quit smoking and drinking. She would be like another Kazuma, only prettier. And her baby was a child of Kurama, he had to be good looking.

Shizuru sighed as she watched the rain fall down from the heavens. It was one of those days where she thought about the baby's future. Kurama of course would be in it. He would be a loving father. Unlike most fathers who aren't married to the mothers, he would spend as much time as he could with his child.

He will make a woman happy one day.

Or a man.

"What are you doing Shizuru?" Yukina asked as she walked to the sitting woman.

"Nothing. Just sitting and watching the rain," she moved her hand to indict that she was staring at the rain.

"May I join you?" Yukina asked, polite as always.

"I don't see why not."

Yukina sat down next to her without a sound. At lot had happened over the past couple of years that the group didn't acknowledge, talk, or know about. Or maybe everyone knew and just didn't talk about it. An unspoken taboo. If they did, than the stain would be apparent. Everyone had secrets. Some are better at hiding at it than others. Shizuru knew that everyone was keeping secrets from everyone else.

Even her little brother had something to hide from her.

The trick was to get that secret out of him. She knew that Keiko had something to do with it. They've been spending a lot of time together. Her first clue was a phone call. The hospital called and she picked up. Only it wasn't for her, it was for Kazuma.

"The rain feels special today."

"Hmm?" She had been spacing out. She'd been doing a lot of that lately.

"It feels special," Yukina said. She stretched her arm and let the rain fall into her hand.

"How does rain feel special?"

"It… just does," Yukina replied softly, as if she didn't know how to explain it.

"Think that Koenma has anything to do with the rain?" Shizuru joked. "He could be doing this just so he could keep us all inside."

"Or to make us connect."

Shizuru didn't have anything to say to that.

Just then, a thunder was heard. The rain came down harder and then lightened up again. The two continued to watch the rain. Both wondered if the others were as well. Both lost in their own thoughts about the others. Then those thoughts changed to their present situations. One pregnant, one already with a child that is hers alone.

"If there was something wrong with Kazuma, would you tell me?" Shizuru asked unexpectedly. But she couldn't help it. Thoughts of her baby brother hurt plagued her mind relentlessly and she couldn't shake the thought that something was seriously wrong with him.

Yukina's eyes widened. "Is there something wrong with Kazuma?"

"I don't know," Shizuru confessed. "I don't think that there is. But would you?"

Yukina thought about it. "I would. But if he does not want me to tell you, then I would respect his wishes."

Shizuru nodded her head. Maybe there wasn't anything wrong with Kazuma. Maybe he didn't have anything to hide. Maybe she was just being a little bit too paranoid. Maybe he and Keiko were just getting closer. Like Botan and Hiei did. Maybe he loved her. Maybe she loved him. Or maybe he made a mistake.

Like Kurama did.

Yusuke would kill him if he did.

She would kill him if he did.

The hospital didn't tell her what the problem was with her brother. In the first place, she was at his house when the phone call came. He wasn't there. In the second place, Kazuma had asked that all relating information about his health be sent to him and only him. Maybe there was nothing wrong. Maybe he didn't have cancer and maybe he wasn't dying.

There were too many maybes and Shizuru decided to just stop thinking about it. Because maybe there was nothing wrong at all.

"Yukiko is still grieving over the death of her gold fish," Yukina stated.

"They don't last very long. You should get her a bird. They'll live longer."

"But she loves fish," Yukina pressed.

Yukina and Yukiko had such big hearts. It was hard not to care about them in any way.

"Then maybe a koi."

"How far are you along?"

Shizuru cranked her head to the side, surprised at the sudden change of topic but refusing to let it show.

"Two and a half months."

Yukina stretched her hand outwards to let the rain touch her. Shizuru watched her with a careful eye.

"Though I suspect that that is not what you really what to ask me."

Yukina shook her head. "I never really understood. In books and movies, when a ningen man impregnates a woman, he either runs away from her or offers to marry to her. Kurama did not run away."

"But he did propose to me," Shizuru said before the ice apparition could say more.

Yukina shook her head again. "And you said no."

"And now you're wondering why I did so."

Yukina nodded. "I am confused."

Shizuru shook her head and brought her legs closer to her body. "I didn't love him enough."

"I don't think that he loves you in that way to marry you either."

It wasn't meant to be harsh. And it wasn't harsh at all. Shizuru knew all along that he never loved her in the way that she really wanted him to. But it was fine with her. Just being his friend was enough. And truthfully, she didn't want to be in a relationship with him. The reason being was that she now knew that he was already in love.

Maybe Botan knows. Maybe not.

But she wasn't going to tell the ferry girl because she saw the too often glances that the blue haired woman threw at Yusuke and visa versa.

And Shizuru couldn't excuse herself either.

"Now that I answered your question, maybe you could answer mine," Shizuru said. "Why did you break it off with Touya?"

"Kazuma never asked me that." Shizuru gave her a questioning stare. What did he have to do with Touya? Despite the fact that the ice demon had made a couple of years miserable for Kazuma because he was with Yukina.

"When I became pregnant, as it is apart of my race to do so without a partner, I noticed that I couldn't see Touya as a father to my child. And when I couldn't do that, I couldn't see a future with him either," Yukina answered. "So I let him go."

"Do you still miss him?" Shizuru tentatively asked.

"Sometimes. But I only see him as a friend now."

Touya still visited Yukina. Yukiko too. Shizuru remembered the one time that he came by and neither the mother or daughter was there, but she was. Just like the time when the hospital called. They started to talk.

At first it was about little things because they were never at a room together by themselves. As time wore on, their discussions deepened and they started to share personal stories. He told her about his love for Yukina that he could not seem to let go. She told him about her love for Kurama and how she wanted to be with him, before she stumbled upon the truth.

And somehow, during their talks, she kissed him. Or he kissed her. She couldn't remember. What she did remember was that he tasted like ice, cold, and morning dew on a warm day. She couldn't get enough of his odd yet pleasant taste.

And yet they both knew that they were just using the other to cope with their unrequited feelings. It was different from Kurama's. Both demons felt the same sadness for not being with the ones that they loved, yet both kissed differently. Touya's was kind while Kurama was more desperate.

"I kissed Touya," Shizuru said after a moment of silence.

Yukina didn't answer.

Shizuru look to Yukina and saw a gem glisten before it dropped to the floor and rolled away to the rain.

"I don't love Touya," was all Yukina said before getting up and waking but into the house.

And that's when Shizuru was no longer sure of what the truth was and what the lie was. She didn't know if Yukina was saying that to convince her or herself. She didn't know if Yukina spoke the truth and was just sadden by something else.

Then Shizuru found that she no longer really cared. They only people that she cared for at that moment was her brother and her unborn child.