Disclaimer: I do not own super smash Bros.,Advance Wars (For
Marth's sake) or Bisquik
Chapter 3: battle-scarred
Character 1:Bowser
Character 2: Jigglypuff
Character 3:Marth
Environment: Battlefield dimension
Andy the Co started his rifle. His troops were all in place. After the last
Battle, his troops were depleted, but his co power, Hyper Repair, had
Healed his troops to full health. "Dang, short 2 md tanks." Andy said in
Frustration. " How are we supposed to take on Strum with only 8 md.
Tanks?"
"Calm down." Grit said "we need more troops to win, not tanks."
"Sez, you." Eagle interrupted "We have such a small air force, we
need to make it better."
"We have a small air force because air forces are USELESS!"
Drake the admiral told Eagle. As Drake and Eagle started to
Have a sissy fight, Andy thought of any chance they had to
Win the battle.
On the other side of the army:
"Oof!" Bowser said as he fell into the pile. "That Could have hurt
if you guys weren't there to break my fall."
"Lucky us." Jiggly and Marth said in unison. They were all scratched
up and bleeding from Bowser's spike shell.
"ATTENTION. What are you troops doing out of line?" a voice
from in front of them yelled. General Hanbei was very angry, and
soldiers like this were just annoyances. "Troops, what are you
doing? You are supposed to be getting ready for the final
battle with Sturm!"
"Aw, calm down, Hanbei.." Sami the general told him. "There
just new recuits."
"All right, but you better straighten them out." Hanbei said.
Hanbei left. Sami spoke to the smash bros. "You owe me. Especially
You, cutie." She said as she pointed at Marth. "as your commanding
Officer, you hmmm…….gotta make this good…… go out with me!"
"No, as much as I would like to, we gotta save the world!" Marth said.
(in dark, evil, maniacal, voice) "You will go out with me, or I will
slowly torture you until die, and I will feast on your flesh and blood,
and I will bury you in an unmarked grave so that you will never go to a
happy place!" Sami said.
"Ooookay……"
2 hours later:
(Marth comes in, strapped to Sami's arm, covered in kiss marks)
"Ugg, save me from the demon!" Marth yelled in torment.
"Sami, what are you doing, there's an officers meeting in
five minutes!' Andy said.
"Can my Marthee come?"
"Hey, what about us?" Jiggly and Bowser said in unison.
"You can come too." Sami said.
Officer's meeting:
"All right, we just received a video from Sturm." Andy
said in his battle tone of voice.
"Auggg! It's the girl with the ring who wants to kill
us in 7 days! Jiggly, shield me with your cuteness!" Bowser
said patheticly.
"Just play the tape….." Andy said as Olaf, HIS PARTICULARY
LAME COMMANDER, popped in the tape.
"Muhahahahah! Andy, you have no chance against my superpowered
troops! Surrender now and we might show some mercy!" The video
strum said at the commandos (and Bowser, who was holding Jigglypuff
in defense, Jigglypuff, who was wondering "What kind of loser is this?"
And Marth, who was in a death-hold by Sami.)
"And now a word from our sponsors, Marth Cologne, and Jigglypuff
sleeping pills!" The tape said.
"OMG, what in the name of Bisquik was that?" The commandoes said
in a shocked tone.
"Jigglypuff, are you selling illegal drugs?" questioned Andy.
"NOOOOOO! I'm shocked that you would think that! Okay, yes."
"That's so sweet! My Marthee is a tv star!" Sami said before she resumed
making out with Marth (against his will) on the couch.
Now, the TV was showing jigglypuff dancing and singing, but everyone
Was out cold from the musical pokemon's voice!
2 more long hours later of Marth's torture:
"Dududu!" The trumpet called from outside as a tank shell nailed
the officer's quarter's.
"It's Sturm!" Andy yelled as he woke up the other commandoes.
"Battlestations, everybody! Wait, just one moment, you troops haven't
been assigned positions yet! Marth, you can be assistant commander
in charge of maintaining troops."
"Oh, goody! That's my department!" Sami said excitedly.
"Lucky me." Marth said as Sami dragged him off, screaming.
"Jigglypuff, you can be our field surgon."
"Yay, I get to see lots of DEAD PEOPLE!" Jiggly yelled.
"And Bowser, you might want to save Marth from Sami."
"Boo! Lame job!" Bowser complained.
"Ya know, I feel kinda sorry for marth." Jigglypuff said.
"Yeah, If anyone cared at all about him." Bowser replied.
10 minutes later:
Giga Bowser roared in delight. He couldn't remember the last
Time he maimed so many.
Bowser was pissed. Really pissed. Upon his reconnaissance, he
Discovered that Giga Bowser was alive! After Bowser had clearly proven
That he was the better Bowser. It was obvious that Giga was guarding
The egg sack, but he just wanted to kick Giga's Butt. So, even
Though he was not told so, he went down to fight Giga.
"Hey, loser! Get over here and fight!"
Bowser was already grappling with Giga, and he was
Getting his head handed to him. Giga had gotten tougher, and
Bowser had his hands full.
"Oh, crud. He's tough!... Bowser said as he did another
Bowser Bomb on Giga.
Marth and Jigglypuff appeared on the horizon.
To be continued.
I know. You just want to kill me for writing this chapter
