Where Does Milk Come From?
A Sprout fanfic
By Madeline Fretz
It was a calm day in the Sprout Boarding House, and Star received a package that had just arrived.
Everyone else noticed. "What is it, Star?" asked Ricky Rabbit.
"I know! My Aunt Linda sent it to me. It's the director's cut of E.T.!" exclaimed the star-shaped pillow.
"E.T? I love that movie!" exclaimed Banjo the Dog. "Can you please turn it on?" Miles was off to do something, but nobody knew.
"I will, since I know how!" Kaitlin McKreckson explained, and put the tape into the tape player.
Unbeknownst to them, the tape wasn't the director's cut of E.T., but rather a strange, odd video featuring a rapper.
"This isn't what I expected." Star pointed out.
"Yo! What's up, dudes? I'm the man that can!" the rapper exclaimed. "And if your name is Star, you know who you are."
"Hey, Banjo, wanna eat oranges and tanjos?"
"Patty, Patty, Patty, are you a goody or baddy?"
"Hey, Ricky, the clock goes ticky."
"Hey there, Curtis, tired of Lancaster Burt-us?"
"Listen up, Chica, you're such a freaka!"
"Heya, Bean, wanna eat cake and ice cream?"
"You there, Coo, how awesome are you?"
"Yo, Kaitlin, you go fishin' with a bate-lin?"
"Maddie, are you happy or a saddie?"
"He's talking to us." Patty the Pig said. We were all amazed and agreed.
Nina noticed us watching the video. "Guys, this video's for teenagers. Why don't you watch something more kid-friendly, like Sesame Street?"
"Well, Nina, I'm a teenager." I pointed out.
"I'm Sprout's resident go-fer, so I might as well
act like a teenager too, even though I'm four years old." replied Banjo.
"Go-fer?!" everyone questioned.
Star's teacher put the rapper tape out and put on a Sesame Street tape.
"I love that show!" Kaitlin exclaimed.
"What's Sesame Street?" asked Curtis E. Owl.
"You've never heard of Sesame Street?!" everyone asked the beatnik owl, and groaned.
"What? Do you live under a rock?" Bean asked. "That show's been going on for more than 50 years, so at least everybody knows it."
"It's a children's show about puppets that takes place in a fictional inner-city street in New York." I explained. "They often have celebrity guest stars."
Chica the Chicken squeaked something, which I translated into English. "Chica says that The Sunny Side Up Show used to have celebrity guests as well."
On the television, we saw a cat drinking milk.
"A cat drinking milk?" Coo the Cuckoo Bird asked. "Why would they show this on Sesame Street? It's boring!"
"No, it's educational!" Bean told the turquoise cuckoo bird with rainbow feathers.
"It looks fun!" Star added. "Sesame Street has always been both fun and educational."
"I agree with Star. Sesame Street is fun, fun, fun!" Kaitlin agreed. "Curtis, I'm surprised this is your first time watching Sesame Street."
"You ever watched this before, Star?" asked Banjo, before turning to the TV screen.
"No, I've never seen it before." Star said. "Where are Elmo? And Ernie? And Bert?"
"Milk. Have you ever wondered where it came from?" the TV asked.
Everyone was bored by the film, except Chica. We all decided to evacuate the room.
Days passed. Chica kept watching the film, while everyone was bored and annoyed by it playing over and over again. "Do you ever wonder where it comes from, before the carton?"
Chica squeaked at everyone, telling them she didn't want them to go away, as they were getting to the exciting part. No one listened or responded, so the squeaky chicken watched by herself, as the TV sang "Hey cow, I see you now."
At dinner, Banjo tried to cover her ears with her mashed potatoes in order to not hear the film, but the mashed potatoes fell off.
Kaitlin tried to eject the Sesame Street tape and put on The Blues Brothers, but Nina stopped her.
At nighttime, I tried to turn off the television, when Chica stopped me.
"Look, Chica. Funny Maddie!" I told the squeaky chicken, and hit my head with a hammer.
Nina was reading to Star, when they felt the film was over. The next scene had Elmo singing inside a cup. Just then, they heard it playing again, as Chica rewinded the tape to hear the song again.
Three days later, Chica was still playing the film and everyone was still annoyed and tired.
"It's the third solid day of Sesame Street Where Does Milk Come From!" yelled Patty.
"I was so tired last night, I fell asleep on my computer and my head kept typing on the letter Z key." Banjo complained.
The adults - Nina, Michele Lepe, Milton Barnes, Kevin Yamada, Kelly Vrooman, Sean Roach, Dennisha Pratt, and Liz Filios, all put on earmuffs so they wouldn't have to listen to the film.
"I hate to say this, but the Milk film must go!" I exclaimed.
Later, everyone was gathered in a room, as Nina and Bean were getting ready to show everyone the Milk film.
"Chica watches it all the time, she doesn't even want to go to sleep." explained Bean.
"…Or take a bath." continued Nina.
A while later, everyone was watching the film.
"…The cow makes milk for her baby, the calf." the TV explained as the calf drank from its mother's udders.
"Reminds me of human breastfeeding." Kaitlin said.
"Nina, Bean, you're right, you two. This film is boring." Banjo told Star's teacher and the blue-haired twelve year old.
"Sesame Street would never show anything boring." Ricky laughed. "Everything about it is exciting … except this milk thing makes me throw up."
"Yeah! It's too slow!" Patty agreed. "The music is too slow, the narration is too slow, everything is too slow."
"You're right, Patricia." Coo told the positive pig emcee.
"Patricia?"
"I can't believe Chica would fall for stuff like this." I added. "I mean, she's always excited about everything, and squeaks all about everything."
"Guys, I have an idea!" Nina told everyone, but we were all gone.
"Hey, we did not say go away." Bean replied.
Ricky handed Chica a bowl of her favorite snack, popcorn, Curtis hid her under a blanket, and Star handed her earmuffs, so the squeaky chicken would never see or hear the milk film ever again.
"Good job, Ricardo!" Coo told the colorful rabbit showman.
"Ricardo?"
Banjo ejected the Sesame Street tape and handed it to Patty. The pink dog and positive pig
emcee drove Carla the Car over to the junkyard and threw it into the garbage chute.
Back at the Sprout Boarding House, Bean walked over to where Chica was. "OK, Chica, you can come out now." Bean told her, and took the blanket away. Chica saw the screen completely black, and squeaked to Bean, asking her where the tape was.
"Err … I dunno." lied the blue-haired twelve years old.
Banjo and Patty arrived. "Well, we've done it!" Patty told Bean.
"Mission accomplished! Over and Sprout! Now Chica will never watch it again!" Bean commented, before imitating the tape. "Do you know where milk comes from? Milk comes from cows. Hey cow, I see you know."
"Well everyone, good job!" Star congratulated his friends.
"Yeah. We believed in ourselves and in each other. Isn't it all that really matters?" replied Nina. Just then, she and Star noticed everyone was gone.
"Hey, Nina, where did everyone go?" asked Star. Nina shrugged.
The next day, everyone was relieved and restful.
"It's safe to say I slept so well last night!" exclaimed Banjo.
"Yeah, me too! I was able to sleep through the night." Curtis added.
Chica, on the other hand, was restless.
"Hey, Chica, what's wrong?" asked Star.
Chica squeaked, and Nina translated it into English. "I think she misses her Sesame Street milk tape."
"Guys, we have to get the milk thing back." Coo explained. Everyone cheered.
We all went to the garbage chute, but everywhere we looked, there was no sign of a VHS tape.
At the dump, we saw a VHS tape. "This must be Chica's!" I exclaimed.
"Let's make that chicken happy again!" exclaimed Bean.
Just then, we saw the claw placing the tape coming into a garbage machine, and when it came out, it exploded. We all groaned.
We got back to the boarding house depressed. "Now Chica will spend the rest of her life depressed." suggested Kaitlin.
"Hey cow, I see you now." sang Patty.
"STOP SINGING!" Nina yelled as she and Star covered their ears.
"Sorry, I can recite all the lines given how many times I've seen it." the positive pig emcee explained. "Plus I like the song."
"You know, I agree with you." said Star.
"Me three." said Banjo.
"Me four." said Bean.
"Guys, I have an idea!" I told everyone. We all huddled up in a circle and I told them of my idea - we could recite it for Chica to make her happy again.
We set up a small stage in the backyard, and sat Chica down. The curtains opened.
"Milk. Have you ever wondered where it came from?" I recited.
"Do you ever wonder where it comes from, before the carton?" Curtis added.
"Milk is made in the body of the cow." Ricky explained.
"Most of the milk we drink is made by cows." said Banjo. Just then, Star came in in a cow costume.
"Hey cow, I see you now." sang Nina, playing a guitar.
"The cow makes milk for her baby, the calf." Coo explained.
"Milk, Milk, Miiilk, Milk." sang Nina. "Milk, Miilk, Milk…"
Just then, Chica left the backyard to get some milk. "Well, at least we made her thirsty." I pointed out.
"I think we deserve a superhero pose." Bean exclaimed.
"Superhero Pose!" we all exclaimed.
"So where is Miles anyway?" asked Star. "Banjo, so you know?" the star-shaped pillow asked the pink dog.
"He said he had to go somewhere." Banjo replied.
"He had to get a test done." Nina told her. "I'll pick him up in the morning."
"Can I drive my Bean Pod and pick him up?" questioned Bean.
"Nah, that's just a bike attached to a closet." Nina explained. "I'll do it."
"Let's just say he is having problems." Kaitlin commented.
"The problem is he is lactose intolerant." I whispered.
THE END
