A/N: This was originally going to be Chapter 10, but I like the alternating perspectives so we don't have two Olivia chapters back to back. I don't have that one written yet, but I have an idea at least. Has anybody got guesses on where we're heading? Leave your craziest theories in the comments and I'll pretend like I actually know where it's all going.
Elliot had tried to ignore that chill that had been radiating off Kathy ever since she got back from her sister's bachelorette party. It started the morning she got back. He woke up from a fitful night sleep to her putting away the items from her suitcase.
"You're back," he said groggily, his mouth feeling like sandpaper. He looked to the bedside table to find the Gatorade, vaguely remembering Liv bringing it in the night before.
"Well, Maureen called, said you were sick, so I came home," Kathy said, never turning around from the dresser.
"I'm sorry about that," he said. "We had it under control."
"So under control you had to call your partner for a sleepover?" Kathy said, whipping around to look at him.
His head hurt, his eyes ached, and he didn't quite know where the hostility was coming from.
"I called her because we were out of acceptable food and drink to give to three sick children and I had to go to the grocery store," Elliot said. "And excuse me for not wanting to call their 70-year-old babysitter who recently had knee surgery to come into a house full of germs where she'd have to be going up and down the steps all day."
"There wasn't anyone else you could have called?" Kathy asked. "We have tons of neighbors. My father would have come right away."
"Sure," Elliot said. "Have somebody come critique how I take care of my sick kids. That would have been great. What's your problem with Olivia anyway? When you met her you said she seemed nice."
"Nice before she accosted me with a gun in my own kitchen while wearing my husband's clothes," Kathy said. "What did you want me to think?"
"She slept in the guest room Kath," he said. "And I offered her my clothes to sleep in because I figured you wouldn't want her in yours. As for the gun, did you ever talk to Maureen and tell her you were coming home? If not, she probably thought you were an intruder."
"This isn't her house!" Kathy yelled. "Why would she care if there was an intruder?"
"Because there were four kids, three of them sick, and their sick parent asleep upstairs," Elliot said, trying to keep his voice down so he didn't wake the kids. "I would have done the same thing. It's part of our training."
"I saw the way she looked at you," Kathy said in a small voice. "At the funeral home. She cares about you."
"She has a husband and a kid," Elliot said. "Even if she cares for me, it's just because we're partners. That's kind of a good thing for you and the kids. Means she won't leave me hanging out to dry somewhere in the middle of a shootout or some other dangerous situation. What's this really about, Kathy?"
She came over to sit on her side of the bed and sighed.
"My cousin, Charlotte, her husband left her," Kathy said. "For his partner at the law firm."
"Denny?" Elliot questioned. "Four-eyed buck-toothed Denny left Charlotte for another woman? Are you sure?"
"Yeah," Kathy said. "She's younger than Charlotte by a few years, recently separated. Only had one kid instead of five like they had. I'm just worried that you spend so much time with Olivia that you're going to want to trade me in for a younger model."
Elliot felt bad. He loved Kathy, he really did. She was the mother of his kids. She kept the house and paid the bills and made his life easier. But it was getting harder and harder for him to deny how he really felt about Olivia. Even from that first night, they connected. The comfortable silence, the mind-blowing sex. He was relaxed around her. Then once they became partners, once he got to know her as a person, see how her mind worked, how smart she was, how kind she was, what a good mother she was. He was done for.
But Olivia had a husband who she loved. His daughter already had someone to call Daddy who, as far as Elliot could tell, wasn't very affectionate but cared for her. It didn't matter what he felt. He couldn't go blowing up all their lives just for a few feelings. He wasn't his mother. He didn't want to lie to Kathy, but he didn't see another way out of the situation.
"There is nothing going on with Olivia and me," Elliot said. "She seriously came for the kids and stayed so Maureen wouldn't have to take care of us alone. That was all."
"Okay," Kathy said. "I'm sorry."
"It's fine," Elliot said, although it came out sounding more annoyed than he would have liked. "Just try to give her a chance, okay. She's going to be my partner for a while, at least until one of us moves up the ranks. She's going to be in our lives. I hope that doesn't make you uncomfortable."
"I'll do my best," Kathy said with a frown, returning to putting away clothes.
After sucking down the bottle of Gatorade, Elliot felt a little better. Well enough to at least join the rest of the family downstairs for some toast. What he didn't expect was that the entire conversation at the breakfast table revolved around Olivia.
"I can't believe she left before I even got to spend any time with her," Kathleen pouted. "I slept through her whole visit."
"I saw her in the hallway this morning when she was leaving," Lizzie said, sticking her tongue out for good measure. "I got to say goodbye."
"Mommy, I asked her to rub my head like you do when I'm sick so I could sleep and she did it," Dickie said, looking proud, like he was somehow able to pull off a party trick when someone massaged his head.
"She's so cool," Maureen said, almost like she was talking about one of the celebrities in the teen magazines Elliot preferred she didn't read. "She taught me how to make mac and cheese from scratch and then she let me watch this show Laverne & Shirley with her, which was really funny. And Dad, she said to ask you about all the scientists you guys work with because if I like science I might want to do that for a career."
Elliot tried to watch Kathy out of the corner of his eye, and he saw her lip getting tighter with each new comment from the kids.
"I thought you wanted to be an accountant," Kathy said. "You love math so much."
"I used to," Maureen said. "Until we got to long division. Now I like science. Olivia told me to tell you guys that I liked it so much, so that I could start thinking about careers."
"You're 11," Kathy said. "You have a long time before you have to pick a career."
Elliot could tell she was mad, and the little voice in his head, the one usually stamped out by his Catholic guilt said "serves her right." Elliot wasn't as sorry as he should have been about Kathy feeling jealous of Olivia. He was actually pretty mad at her for leaving him with three sick kids to go party in New England with her sisters and her cousins. She hadn't gone grocery shopping, and she herself was still getting over the bug. So, as much as he should have jumped to her defense, with the way he was feeling, he wasn't quite in the mood.
"We can talk about whatever you want, Mo," Elliot said. "Just in a few days when I feel well enough to really pay attention."
"Maybe I could come visit you at work sometime and see it all," Maureen said, a look of hope in her eyes.
Kathy gave Elliot a death glare which he chose to ignore.
"I'll talk with the Captain and maybe some of the crime scene techs and see what we can do," he said.
Kathy huffed into the kitchen and didn't speak to Elliot much for the rest of the day, but he knew it'd blow over. They'd had fights like this before, granted not over another woman, or his partner no less. But it was the same fight, different day. He worked too much. Wasn't home enough. Gave in too easily when the girls wanted something and was always making her the bad parent. It would pass eventually.
On Sunday, after church, Kathy announced they were all going to visit her father, and Elliot just wasn't up for it. So he made an excuse that Cragen called him in.
"You're still getting over the stomach bug," Kathy said in a clipped tone.
"I'm not going to be there all day," Elliot said. "He just has some questions about the last case we closed, needs me to look at the files. I'll be back for dinner."
After Kathy got the kids in the van and headed for her father's house, Elliot drove into Manhattan. He stopped at a grocery store near Liv's apartment. She'd texted him Saturday night, cursing him for passing along the bug to her and Chelsea. He tried to tell himself it was the least he could do to stock them up on supplies. He got all the food essentials, and when he was passing by the gift department he noticed a stuffed puppy similar to one Kathleen has. He thought Chelsea could use one so he picked it up. The flowers were right next to it, and while he knew it probably wasn't right, he snagged a bouquet for Olivia. Then he went to her apartment, dropped off the bags and ding-dong-ditched. He knew she'd know who everything was from.
About 15 minutes later he got a text.
"Random care package showed up at my door this evening, you know anything about it?" it read, and he couldn't help but smile.
"Who me?," he responded. "Just some stuff you'll need. Hope Mark is taking as good of care of you two as you did for us. See you back at work soon."
She sent a smiley face in return and he felt good about what he'd done. He still didn't have regrets about calling her Friday evening. They were partners and they were friends. There was no crime in that. Chelsea, whether she was his kid or not, was a nice little girl, and she deserved some special treatment, he rationalized. This didn't have to be complicated. Nothing was wrong with what he was doing.
But the Catholic guilt nag was back. It was telling him that his intentions weren't pure. He was falling for Olivia. He was stepping out of line beyond the context of partner and friend. He thought about her all the time when they were apart and didn't want to leave her when they were together. He'd even had a dream the other night about the two of them and all five of the kids living in the house, being a family, and Mark and Kathy were nowhere to be found.
He knew he shouldn't keep pursuing things, but in the end, he was the only one that stood to get hurt. Olivia wasn't interested in him. She had her own family. Kathy was a good person and a good wife. He was lucky to have her. So what if he had a crush on his partner. So what if they shared a child and their spouses didn't know. Elliot could handle it. Nobody else needed to know and nothing needed to change. Whatever little situation they were in was fine, just as it was.
