Warning: Shounen-ai/Yaoi, incest, Shota… umm… I've forgotten what else I'm supposed to put here. If you want to know, take a look at the first chapter.
Pairing: Tohma x Suguru…. And to think, in all of the 'Remixes' this pairing didn't even show up… heh heh. innocent I wonder why?
Disclaimer: These boys are the exclusive property of Maki Murakami, not a single one is mine. Neither is the idea of this pairing, it goes to the other stories that were written before this. Even the words belong to the dictionary.
A/N: Ack. I am so, so, so, so, so, very sorry about the long intermission that I unknowingly created. I wish I could say I've been so busy that I did not have the time to write… but I can't. I'm just lazy, and had a bit of a writer's block, I have no idea how it even worked. Unfortunately, (as you can see) I've also started another story. cries I'm just too creative for my own good.
Chapter Three
- The Five Stages of Grief
Part Four - Depression
Suguru was silent as he walked through the door from bathroom to bedroom; tendrils of vaporous steam reaching like pale and ghostly arms to pull him back into the light of the bathroom. The bedroom was dark and inviting, and the desire to stay within the blackness grew.
However, his sense of smell was dominating currently, and the scent of a very familiar dinner alerted his stomach to its previously dormant hunger. He passed through the bedroom and into the illuminated living room, quickly finding his way to the kitchen and the awaiting meal.
"Did the shower help? You look warmer."
The teen raised his head from its previous position of intently studying his bare feet, then nodded faintly in a quiet response.
Tohma was perplexed at his cousin's transformation into a mouse, though was halted in further pondering of the matter by the angry preaching of Suguru's stomach telling the two it was time for dinner. He smiled at his younger cousin and followed him to the table.
"Itadakimasu."
Chopsticks were raised and the steaming bowls of ramen were on their way to being empty.
It was quiet, and Tohma found the atmosphere to have become awkward with the lack of sound, "I haven't eaten this type of ramen in a long time."
The statement did not improve the mood; it was determined to inhabit and cause discomfort for the blonde.
All attempts at starting a conversation proved fruitless. Suguru refused to respond with any sentence over five words, or even make eye contact; Tohma didn't know the meal was so interesting, his surely wasn't. It was as if the anger that had previously possessed the teen's body had been washed away by the streaming water and scented soap in the shower. Whatever the fate of the anger, it left behind a lifeless doll sitting at the table, staring at a steaming bowl of noodles.
"I'm finished Seguchi-san," said Suguru after five minutes of carefully choosing which solitary noodles he would eat, and then seven more of soup watching.
"Are you feeling well? You did not eat very much."
"Fine. Just tired," he stood, taking the dishware inhabiting his place at the table with him, and setting the bowl and chopsticks beside the sink, "Thank you for cooking dinner, I will take care of the dishes later, just leave them beside the sink."
Tohma watched as his cousin left the kitchen and his field of vision. There was not even a small grain of doubt in his mind that everything the teen had just said was utter nonsense. With a sigh he pushed his chair away from the table, the legs making dull scraping noises on the plastic flooring. As he had been told, Tohma placed utensils and bowl alongside his cousin's, then walked from the linoleum-tiled kitchen to the wooden-floored living room. No trace of the dark-haired boy in the room inhabited by a mountain range. The blonde's acute sixth sense noticed the bedroom door was partially closed, easily telling anyone who saw that the room was occupied, and off limits, yet the slivered opening invited anyone who cared to sneak through its crevice into the space beyond. Determined to continue playing detective, Tohma softly brushed through the slightly adjacent door, the little amount he had to open it to enter making no noise to alert the occupant within. There was no shout of alarm for him to leave immediately, and the blonde took that as a positive omen, however, that the teen was sitting cross-legged on the bed with his back to the door might have played a hand in that as well.
It didn't matter to Tohma if his cousin realized he had come into the room, he wasn't after stealth; it just happened that he was stealthy in his genes. It was a continual habit that he appeared as if from no where, scaring the pants off of those who knew little of him, and many of the people who would consider him a friend. The blonde swiftly traversed the space from door to bed. If the crunch of metal springs or the sudden dip in the mattress implanted knowledge of his cousin's existence in Suguru's mind, he did not show any sign of knowing so. Tohma came to sit next to the teen, and finally earned a response from him. He turned his head to glance at Tohma. Suguru looked on the edge of waterworks. A fine sheen of tears glazed his brown eyes as he gazed at his cousin beside him on the bed.
"Suguru..." the blonde's sentence ended prematurely, fading to silence as his beaded words were deemed unsatisfactory and inadequate. When he was in control, Tohma was very efficient at dealing with the emotions of others, his ability to comfort tears he caused was close to amazing. Usually he did not have to try very hard to understand and control others, but his cousin wasn't just another puppet; Tohma didn't want to hold the strings. He was not exactly sure of what he wanted, but it was not for Suguru to be a marionette ready for manipulation. He didn't want to know exactly how the teen was going to react to any situation; everything was boring that way, and he was tired of control. Tohma wanted one person to be a mystery to him, to be something fresh and new. Which was currently the case with Suguru, and the blonde loved that about him. How the teen desperately wanted people to see the difference between the two of them, yet he followed in the very footsteps of his elder cousin. Such things confused Tohma to no end when he pondered over them, leaving him dazed as the mighty machine of his mind jammed. Suguru was a Rubik's cube, but one that Tohma, deep down, did not want to solve.
After a moment of thought, he tried once again to string together comforting words, but these too failed to leave his mind and become speech. So the blonde opted for show instead of tell, touching his lips tenderly against their trembling counterparts with the hope that displays of affection would prevent the fall of the pearlescent droplets. He let his tongue lightly brush against Suguru's lips in a feline lick of farewell, ending the kiss just slightly after it had begun. He tasted the familiar hint of salt, knowing that it was not from their previous meal. The tears had finally broken the restraints of cohesion.
Suguru met his cousin's eyes, understanding the silent question in their pale blue expression. In response he hiccupped, breaking the joined gaze in embarrassment as a blush invaded his face. However the one hiccup was not alone, it was merely the signal of the beginning as the teen went into a fit of more violent grief. In addition to the shower gone to torrential downpour of tears, the sixteen-year-old body was wracked by brutal trembling, though the fact that the black hair was still rather damp did not help lessen the shivering.
Tohma, for once, preformed the first thought that entered his mind, not even pausing for a moment to second or third guess himself. Instead of wasting time in a mental debate, he wrapped his arms around his distraught cousin. Gently he brought the dark head to rest on his shoulder, not caring if the boy's tears dampened the designer vest, imported from England, or the silk shirt beneath it. He drew their bodies tightly together, close enough that he could feel each sob that dominated the teen, every broken inhale and uneven exhale.
The display of misery could have lasted minutes or days, though in all likeliness it was the first, considering there had been no raid of the apartment by a certain blonde psychopath at the absence of the keyboardist of Bad Luck. However, since that is beside the focus of this, it will be stated that the two cousins took no notice to the passing of time.
When Tohma spoke again it was after having made sure that the boy in his arms had calmed, "Do you feel better?"
The blonde felt the nodded response, as well as the warm puffs of air traipsing against his chilled skin; now it was his turn to shiver. Suguru's head lay on Tohma's left shoulder, mouth shamefully close to touching the elder man's neck. Though the teen was unsure of how it had come about, it was his cousin who sat cross-legged, while he rested in the basket created by the blonde's thin legs. One of Tohma's hands still soothingly stoked across his back; while his own two appendages were clasped behind the older man, embracing near the slim waist. Both were warm, content enough to stay the way they were and each waiting for the other to be the first to move.
"I'm… I'm sorry, Seguchi-san. For breaking," Hiccup. Suguru spoke softly, much too comfortable to move and make eye contact with his cousin as he spoke, "down like this. That keyboard was just… very special… to me," He paused for a moment and the silence appeared again as he thought about what words use next, "It was my first one… the one you gave me, a-and I should have taken better care of it because… because now it's gone."
If no action was taken by Tohma, the dark-haired teen was going to begin to cry again, "Suguru," he tightened his embrace around the boy, "Don't blame yourself; it's foolish to do that now when nothing could have been done."
"Y-yes," He yawned widely, immensely exhausted both physically and emotionally.
It would have been impossible for the blonde not to notice over-powering yawn by his cousin, the teen's mouth was resting beside his neck after all. Tohma gave up on words, very tired himself, as he usually was, and instead pulled his cousin with him to the head of the bed. After a little rearranging and skillful maneuvering, he had them both settled comfortably once again; satisfactorily sandwiched between the mattress and the light blankets covering the twin sized bed.
Tohma wrapped his arms once again around the waist of the teen in front of him, softly pressing his lips to the pale neck in a makeshift goodnight kiss; it was much too awkward to try and reach the boy's forehead.
"Good night, Seguchi-san."
"Suguru, please call me Tohma."
……. tbc…..
A/N Final: Despite popular belief… this actually is going somewhere, don't worry… or maybe you should worry. Review or I'll take even longer to finish the last part of this chapter!
