A/N: It's a long one kids. Hope you brought your snacks and your angst armor.

Disclaimer: Borrowed but repurposed dialogue again. Thankful to people who spend their time to put transcripts online and save me some time.


"What have we got?" Olivia said, rushing into the squad. Elliot's hand automatically shot out from where he was sitting at his desk and passed her a to-go cup of coffee as she walked by, which she gladly accepted, made just the way she liked.

"A visitor," Cragen said, exiting his office with a dark-haired man around Elliot and Olivia's age behind him. "From a new DNA company called FORYM."

Olivia sat down at her desk and looked at Elliot out of the corner of his eye. He had his eyebrows raised, a little skeptical of their visitor.

"This a sales pitch?" Elliot asked, swiveling back and forth in his chair.

"Not at all," the man laughed, stepping forward and shaking their hands, then addressing Fin and Munch. "My name is Nick Amaro. I used to be a cop, then went back to school for genetics and forensic science. My company has come up with a new method that tests DNA samples that in the past have been considered too small or too degraded for use as evidence."

"That's interesting," Olivia said. "But what does that have to do with us?"

"We work a lot with appeals cases," Amaro said. "We got a request from a case from a few years ago that your Captain worked on. I've been brought in to assist with the reopening of it."

"From 1996," Cragen said. "Haley West, 15 years old. Strangled on prom night. The boyfriend, Ian Ridley confessed and is serving time. He recanted at sentencing, but the only DNA found on the body was his saliva."

"Then what exactly are we supposed to do about that?" Elliot said. "If there's no other DNA to process, isn't that open and shut?"

"Well, not exactly," Amaro said. "We were approached by this crime writer who's doing a book about wrongful convictions. This is one of the ones he wants to include in his latest. He's kind of the push behind reopening it."

"We're letting a crime writer dictate the cases we reopen?" Elliot said.

"He went to 1PP, Elliot," Cragen said. "They have personally asked for us to reopen it, and give Amaro and the writer full access."

Elliot muttered a little under his breath, and Olivia could only catch the word "ridiculous."

"Oh, and that's him," Amaro said, pointing towards the door. "Just walked in."

When Olivia finally looked up from Elliot's minor hissy fit to see the man shaking hands with Cragen and Amaro, she swore her heart skipped a beat.

"Burton," she said, the name coming out of her mouth, almost like a reflex.

"Olivia," he said, turning to her.

"You haven't changed," she said.

"Neither have you," she said, smiling. "And now that we've established that we're both liars. Nobody said that the crime writer looking into our case was Burton Lowe."

"Should we have?" Cragen asked.

"Um, we're old friends," Olivia said.

"From a lifetime ago," Burton added.

She couldn't believe Burton was here, in front of her after all this time. He had been her everything once. The only man who ever really loved her. Well, until Mark. Maybe. Olivia hates that she has to question how Mark really feels about her, but Burton… he always loved her. It was her mother who interfered.

Before Olivia could say anything else, someone stepped between them.

"Elliot Stabler," he said, thrusting his hand out to Buton. "Olivia's partner."

"Nice to meet you," Burton said, shaking his hand and then sidestepping Elliot to get closer to Olivia again.

"Look at you, a detective in the Special Victims Unit," Burton said. "Serena must be so proud."

"Well, if you remember, that wasn't exactly her strong suit," Olivia said. "She passed away a few months ago."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," he said, reaching for her hand. Olivia noticed Elliot's shoulders bristle.

"How'd you get involved in this, Burton," Elliot asked, trying to shift his focus.

"Ian's mother wrote to me," he said. "I promised her I'd do right by him."

"He's already had a parole hearing," Cragen said. "Due to his age and his lack of prior history the board was willing to release him to house arrest if he showed contrition, but he couldn't."

"His mother thinks he may be protecting someone," Burton said. "Out of fear, or possible retaliation."

"And if we can salvage any DNA on the evidence, even 15 cells from an original sample, we might be able to find another suspect," Amaro said.

"We'll need to call our ADA Alex Cabot," Cragen said.

"Understood," Burton said.

After getting the okay from Alex to proceed with the case, Cragen sent Elliot and Olivia to meet Amaro and Dr. Warner to do another round of DNA collection from the evidence. It had been a few days, but Elliot had been short and obnoxious with her since Burton walked into the squad.

"I can't take another day of your extremely loud silence, El," Olivia said on the drive to the morgue.

"What are you talking about?" Elliot said from behind the wheel.

"You've been fuming for days. What gives?" Olivia asked. "Everything okay at home?"

"How do you know Lowe, the crime writer?" Elliot asked.

Olivia had suspected Burton was the problem, but the anger in Elliot's voice was far more than warranted.

"We're old friends," she said.

"Cut that crap," Elliot said. "Please tell me he's not the older guy you dated in high school."

Olivia was surprised he'd even remembered that conversation. It was early in their partnership and things had been a little shifty for them back then, reckoning with their own history and whatnot.

"He was," Olivia said. "He was my first real boyfriend and my first love."

"I believe you called him your soul mate," Elliot said through grit teeth.

"Just because you don't believe in them doesn't mean I can't," she said.

"I never said I didn't believe in them," Elliot said. "I just have a hard time believing that guy is yours."

Olivia was quiet for a few moments. She didn't really feel like getting into all of it with Elliot, but maybe if he understood he would back off a little.

"You know my mother was an English professor, and when I was 16, I started dating Burton," Olivia said. "He was a senior, 21, and one of her students."

Elliot didn't respond, so she continued.

"He asked me to marry him, and I said yes," she said.

Elliot's eyebrows shot up to his hairline.

"I said yes because I wanted to get away from my mother," she said.

"And you think this is a coincidence that he wants to open one of Cragen's old cases," Elliot said. "Especially after just breaking up with his French journalist girlfriend."

"Yeah, I read up on him too, El," she said, a little annoyed that Elliot seemed to have run a background check on him.

"There's just something about him I don't like," Elliot said.

"You don't have to like him," Olivia said as he put the car in park. "But you do have to work with him."

That evening after collecting the evidence and Amaro's lab running some tests, they'd found a second DNA profile that Munch and Fin were going to work on tracking down the source.

"Let me buy you dinner," Burton said to her as they were cleaning up for the day. "We deserve some time to catch up."

Olivia had already told Mark earlier in the day she might have to work late and he'd responded, as usual, with a snide remark.

"We can't be too late though," Olivia said. "I have to get home to my husband and daughter."

"So you've done well for yourself in more areas than one," Burton said.

"You know Olivia," Elliot said from his desk. "If she wants something she makes it happen."

"Oh, I know very well what Olivia wants detective," Lowe said. "And right now I assume that'd be dinner."

"I can eat," Olivia said, giggling unexpectedly.

Why did she feel 16 again in his presence? Sure, he's still the smart and sophisticated man she fell for years ago, but she's grown too, hadn't she? Into a wife, a mother, and a detective.

"Night El," she yelled over her shoulder as they walked out of the precinct.

"Night," he called back.

Olivia felt his eyes on them until the elevator doors closed, and she couldn't understand why she felt like going out with Burton was cheating, but not on Mark. On Elliot. He didn't have any claim to her.

When they got settled in the booth at the lavish restaurant Olivia decided it was time to learn a little more about why Burton was really here, in New York, working with SVU.

"You know, Burton, if you needed help with a case, you could have just told Cragen you knew me, or gotten in touch," she said.

"I guess I was afraid that you'd just say no, considering how we ended," he said.

"You know my mother made me write that letter to break off our engagement," Olivia said. "She told me you had a real girlfriend in college."

"I didn't," he said. "I was in love with you."

"And I told her that, but she still insisted," Olivia said. "I tried to slip some information in at the end, so you'd know it wasn't from me. But you disappeared."

"I wanted to write to you, to see you," he said. "But she told me if I even tried to get in touch with you she'd have me immediately expelled and my scholarship to USC for my master's program revoked."

"Then I guess she lied to both of us," Olivia said.

"How do you do this job?" Burton asked, reaching across the table for her hand. "The girl I remember, she was so in love with books, and literature. I always thought you'd end up a professor like Serena."

Truthfully, Olivia always thought that's where she'd end up too. She did love it, but she needed the excitement in her life. She needed to be helping victims, righting wrongs, making the world a safer place for other people.

"It's a lot," she said. "But I spend time with my daughter. I listen to music. Go on walks when I can."

"And spend time with your partner?" Burton asked.

"He's my best friend," Olivia said. "A lot of people don't get this job. He understands. It's good to have someone to confide in about what we see every day."

"I think he's interested in more than just your friendship," Burton said.

"He has a wife and a family, and he's faithful," Olivia said.

"He wouldn't be the first man to have a wandering eye," Burton said. "Especially not with a partner as beautiful as you."

Olivia couldn't help but blush, and luckily she didn't have to answer because their food arrived.

After some more small talk about his career, Burton paid the check.

"You said you take walks when you can," Burton said. "Could you use one now?"

"I'd like that," she said.

They made their way through Central Park, enjoying the city in late spring.

"New York is still my favorite city," Olivia said, taking in the beauty around her.

"Not Paris?" Burton asked.

"Didn't you live there with your girlfriend?" Olivia shot back.

"Ex," he said.

"Oh," Olivia said.

"She may have ruined the city for me," he said. "An old man dating a young woman always ends up playing the fool. Have you ever been to France?"

"I haven't," Olivia said. "My husband and I planned to go for our honeymoon, but right before we were set to leave I went into what I thought was preterm labor with my daughter. It turned out to be a false alarm, but the travel insurance didn't cover mistaken labor and we lost all our wedding money. He was furious."

"Maybe someday," Burton said. "Well, here's my hotel."

"Plaza?" she said, surprised. Though she really shouldn't have been, considering where they'd just eaten dinner.

"Crime writing has been good to me," he said. "You have time for a nightcap?"

Olivia realized she must have made a face based on the one she got in return. But could she, should she really go to another man's hotel room for a nightcap when she was married? A man she was sure was her soul mate?

"Uh, I'm sorry, that wasn't very gentlemanly of me," he said. "You are married, after all."

"I'm flattered and I don't mind," she said.

So she joined Burton in his room. He retrieved bottles from the mini bar and some snacks, and they talked and laughed about the good old days. They'd been sitting on the bed, laughing, when Burton got closer than she expected.

Before she knew what was happening, he'd leaned her back on the bed and his lips were on hers. It was familiar, enchanting, but the weird thing was, she wasn't remembering their time together, but rather the night with Elliot in the hotel room. And all of a sudden, this felt very, very wrong.

She was just about to push Burton away when her phone rang from the bedside table. She shoved him off of her and reached for it.

"Benson," she said, hating how out of breath she sounded.

"You at the gym or something?" Elliot said on the other end. "You're breathing hard."

"Phone startled me," she said. "You have something?"

"We got a hit on a sample from Haley's underwear," Elliot said. "It's a match for her tennis coach, Roger Murray."

"I guess that's good," Olivia said.

"Except it's not because she was still raped and murdered," Elliot said.

"Thanks for calling to tell me," Olivia said. "See you tomorrow."

"Goodnight partner," Elliot said. "See you in the morning."

Olivia snapped her phone shut and relayed the information to Burton and then stood from the bed.

"I really should be going, she said. "I need to get home to my daughter."

Burton didn't say anything else, just watched her leave. She felt out of sorts that Elliot called in the middle of what was happening. She felt guilt that she'd cheated on her husband again by kissing another man from her past.

The feeling only grew the next day at the press conference for overturning the conviction. Burton had gone off to handle the press about his book and she was left standing on the sidewalk with just Trevor Langen.

"Two words of advice," he said. "Watch yourself."

She looked at him funny.

"I used to have clients in publishing," he said. "He's got a reputation, so just, eyes open."

This was odd. Though she and Trevor weren't close because of their professions, she'd always preferred him to some of the other defense attorneys they saw on a regular basis. She thought Elliot had just been jealous when he voiced concerns about Burton, but with Trevor saying something too, well maybe that wasn't a coincidence.

"Always," she said.

"Are you still looking into filing for divorce or having those parental rights papers drawn up?" Trevor asked. "It's been months since we talked and I haven't heard anything else from you."

"We're still trying to work things out," Olivia said. "But I'll call you again if I need you."

"Just take care of yourself," Trevor said, walking away to meet up with his client.

A few days later, the whole squad had all been there to witness Murray's confession and they were celebrating in the hallway after the conviction. A young girl approached them and spoke to Olivia specifically.

"Are you Captain Benson of SVU?" the girl asked.

"I am," she said.

"Can I ask you what you're doing working with a predator?" the girl said.

Olivia's eyes became wide and she looked over at Elliot.

"Ma'am I can assure you my partner isn't a predator," Olivia said.

"Not him," the girl said, waving Elliot off. "You don't remember me, Burton. Andrea Malone?"

"Yes, of course, I remember you Andrea," he said. "You were my editor's intern on…"

"Your last novel, five years ago," she said. "Ask him what he did to me back then. I was only 20 years old."

"Andrea, if I've upset you in some way, this isn't the time or the place," Burton said.

"Upset me?" she said, incredulously. "You raped me. I want him arrested."

Olivia felt her lunch turn in her stomach.

"Andrea, I'm also with SVU," Elliot said. "Why don't we go sit down and you can tell me everything."

Olivia started to get warm. She couldn't keep standing there so she ran to the bathroom and splashed cool water on her face. When she came out she saw Elliot passing Andrea off to Fin and Munch to go back to the station. She saw Burton heading for the courtyard and followed.

"Olivia, I swear to God I didn't rape her," Burton said.

"Well, that's not Andrea's recollection," Olivia said.

"I haven't seen her in five years," he said. "I am completely blindsided by this."

"So you're saying that you two were never involved?" Olivia asked.

"I'm not saying that," he said.

"So what did happen?" she asked.

"We had a flirtation the summer she worked for my editor," he said. "The night before she went back to college I took her to dinner to say thanks. We had a few drinks. We ended up back in my hotel room. It was completely consensual."

"And after?" Olivia asked.

"She left later that night," he said. "I gave her the cab fare home. She never said a word. I have never been in this situation before. Just tell me, what do we do now?"

He reached for her and she took a step back.

"We don't do anything," she said. "I have to recuse myself from the case. Someone else will call you. Let you know the next steps."

Burton walked off and Olivia knew her ride back to the precinct was Elliot and she wasn't in the mood to be around him. Although it didn't completely surprise her that when she turned around he was lurking in the doorway back into the courthouse.

"Save it," she told him.

"Olivia," Elliot said.

"I know you don't like him," Olivia said. "But that's not who he is."

"Liv," Elliot said again, following her back through the courthouse and out to the car.

"Just shut up until we hear more from Munch and Fin," she said, getting into the car and slamming the door shut.

It turned out to be a he-said, she-said and Alex said it didn't seem like they'd have enough to charge him.

"Whether you can prove it's rape three, I don't know," Alex said.

"He spent the summer grooming her," Munch said.

"How?" Olivia asked. "What did he do?"

"He solicited her opinion about his novel, took her out to nice restaurants," Munch said. "Gave her books and music."

"Music?" Olivia asked, getting a sick feeling in her stomach.

"Yeah, like a Brazilian compilation," Munch said. "Girl from Ipanema. Older man move."

Olivia vaguely heard Fin make some crack about how John, being an old perv, would know, but she couldn't focus on their words. She must have gone pale because Elliot reached across the desks to tap her on the arm.

"Hey, are you good?" he asked.

"Yeah, fine," Olivia said. "Just ready to get home to Chelsea. Mark's on some business trip this week so we're having a girl food and movie night."

"Sounds fun," Elliot said. "Why don't you get a jump on it. We won't be getting anything else on Lowe at least until tomorrow. I'll cover for you."

"Thanks," Olivia said, slipping her coat on and heading for the exit.

After a much needed night with her girl eating mozzarella sticks and watching The Little Mermaid, Chelsea was tucked in bed and Olivia was going through boxes in her closet. She'd saved most of her cassettes and 8-tracks and mixtapes from high school and college, coming back to them every now and again to remember who she used to be and how she's changed over time.

She rifled through the one high school box until she found the tape she was looking for. She pulled out her walkman and shoved the tape in and hit play, and when those familiar notes came out, the ones she listened to for months, maybe even years after her mother made her send Burton away, brought a flood of tears and realization that everything she thought she knew had been a lie. The man she thought loved her, who she thought cared for her, was just using her.

She knew what she had to do, but she was humiliated to do it.

She asked Elliot up to the cribs the next morning and sat next to him on the bunk, producing the cassette from her jacket pocket.

"To the girl who's tall, and tan, and young, and lovely," Elliot read off the insert. "He gave you The Girl from Ipanema too?"

"And I thought he was so sophisticated," she said. "Did we get anything?"

"All his editors and publishers acknowledge he's a ladies man," Elliot said. "But no HR issues."

"Of course not," Olivia said.

"But Andrea must have put out the line to other former interns," Elliot said. "We've got about eight or nine that report similar behavior."

"How so?" she asked.

"So all of the women say they felt pressured, uncomfortable," Elliot said. "None of them say he assaulted them."

"Okay," Olivia said. "So he's not a rapist."

"Maybe not, but he's a creep," Elliot said. "Or an old-school player. He had to have known you worked here when he asked Amaro to look into this case. He used him to get to you."

"He wasn't trying to deceive Amaro," Olivia said. "I asked him about that. He said that he wasn't sure how I would react. So, I know that his wanting to free Ian Ridley is sincere."

"Is it?" Elliot said, standing from the bunk with the tape still in his hand. "Or is this about his career?"

"His novel?" Olivia asked.

"Liv, I'm angry right now," Elliot said. "I knew this guy was bad news."

"Elliot, Ian Ridley has been exonerated," Olivia said. "I don't want whatever this is to overshadow that."

"The department shouldn't have walked him back into your life," Elliot said.

"Please, Elliot, I'm a big girl," Olivia said.

"Yeah, still, I mean, how old were you then?" he asked. "Sixteen right? He was 21. Maureen will be 16 in a few years. Chelsea will be 16 someday."

"And it was a different time then," Olivia said. "We were in love. Anything that we did, I wanted to do. It was my choice."

When she said the word love, she saw something cross Elliot's face. She didn't know exactly what it was. Jealousy? Pain? Anger?

"Well that's the thing about predators, Liv," Elliot said. "The good ones, the smart ones, they make their victims believe that."

She felt like he'd shot her. She wasn't a victim. She wasn't her mother. She loved Burton. He was her soul mate. And who was Elliot effing Stabler, a man she had a one night stand with who had a perfect wife and perfect family at home to tell her that she'd become one.

"Elliot, thank you, and I appreciate that you've been in SVU longer than me, but I have first-hand knowledge of what it means to be a victim. I grew up with it," she said, snatching the tape out of his grasp. "So I don't need your expertise, but thank you so much. I think we're done here."

She couldn't be in the room with him for another second. She stalked out of the cribs and out of the building, not bothering to tell anyone where she was going. To be honest, she didn't know exactly where she was going. She ended up back in Central Park, walking the trails and thinking about the night she told her mother she was engaged.

She remembered the shattering of the bottle, the struggle, the fear she felt as she saw her mother become totally unhinged. She remembered Serena's shrieking.

"I'll never let anyone else have you," she yelled as she charged Olivia with the bottle.

But for the first time, Olivia was hearing those words in a new context. What if Serena hadn't been trying to prevent her from being happy, but rather from becoming a victim, or more of a victim than she'd already been? What if in her own sick and twisted way, that was how Serena was trying to protect her. The thought was overwhelming and Olivia had to lean against the side of a stone bridge to catch her breath. And that's when she saw the Plaza, and she knew what she had to do.

She knocked on the door to room 500 and waited to hear footsteps behind it.

"Oh, Liv, come in," Burton said. "I'm so glad to see you. I've been calling."

"Yeah, I know," Olivia said.

"Can I get you something?" he slurred, and she could tell he was plastered.

"No thanks," she said.

"Listen, first, I wanna apologize again, for the incredibly awkward situation," he said.

"Yeah, it's been a long couple of days," she said.

"Are you sure I can't get you something?" he asked.

"No, trust me," she said.

"Well, I'm gonna have another, because it's been a hell of a 48 hours for me too," he said, returning to the mini bar. "My publisher's having a meltdown. My publicist. Do you know this woman, Andrea Malone, she called up every young woman i've ever worked with."

"I know," Olivia said.

"Do you know what it means now that this is out in the tabloids?" he yelled. "My book deal is on hold. My reps are useless. Have we resolved this?"

"Burton, our team found Andrea's story credible," Olivia said.

"What?" he said. "Do I need a lawyer?"

"The case is a he-said, she-said that our ADA doesn't think will stand up in court," Olivia said. "So she's not going to charge you."

"Well, 'cause there's nothing to charge," Burton said. "I didn't do anything, Olivia. And this one woman is destroying my name!"

"First of all, it's not one woman," Olivia said, feeling the venom in her own voice. "There are others."

"Oh, no. Oh God," Burton said. "Wait, who? I have a right to know my accusers."

"Lool, none of the allegations, rose to a level of chargeable offenses, so," she said. "You're off the hook."

"I haven't been a saint, Olivia," he said, moving to the armchair by the window. "If a beautiful, younger woman seemed interested in me. I'm human. I was grateful. Did I sleep with some of them? Absolutely. But I never took advantage of anyone. Ever."

"That's not what these women are saying," Olivia said. "Burton, listen to me, come one. You were a powerful, successful man. These women looked up to you. You abused their trust."

"Oh, come on," he said. "They didn't complain at the time. Have I pursued women? Yes. You know what it used to be called? Seduction, not rape. Come on. You know me Olivia."

She shook her head. How could he not see it? How could he really not see that the things he'd done were questionable, if not outright wrong. But more importantly, how could she not have seen it, but Serena did?

"Do you really not understand the power differential?" she said. "Do you not understand that you were their mentor?"

"I was, and so what?" he yelled. "It's okay for them to obliterate a lifetime's work? My reputation? Over these fabrications, that's okay? But what about Ian Ridley? What about all the good I've done? I need you to stand up and defend me here, Olivia. You work at SVU. You can do that."

She would have laughed if it wasn't all so ridiculous. She thought back to Elliot's muttering the day Burton entered the squad room.

"I can't," she said, feeling her resolve cracking.

"Why not?" he challenged.

"You slept with me when I was 16, Burton," she said. "You were 21. And technically that is sexual assault."

"Oh," his voice turned low, threatening even. "Are you saying that you're a victim now? We were in love."

"I was a teenager," she said, feeling the tears come to her eyes. "My house was a mess. You knew that. You knew that I would do anything to get away from my mother."

"Oh, please, don't get her voice in your head," he said. "We both know she was stone crazy."

"Was she? Was she, Burton," Olivia said. "Or maybe she was trying to protect me."

"Do you remember the first night we had sex all those years ago?" he asked.

Of course she remembered. He'd taken her virginity in a closet in the humanities building on the Hudson campus. She hadn't been ready and it was painful, but he'd apologized after. Told her he'd been caught up in the moment. But she was just happy he wanted her, and she had been willing to go along with it despite being afraid and uncomfortable. And he'd made it up to her the other times they'd slept together. Really prepared for the evening, but it hadn't been completely satisfying for her. In fact, none of her sexual encounters before or since had really been satisfying until the night with Elliot in the motel. She really didn't know how pleasurable it could be for a woman until he came along.

"I do," she said.

"You didn't put up much of a fight," he said. "And the other night, are you gonna change the narrative there too and say I sexually assaulted you?"

"No, Burton, of course not," she said, even though she hadn't been comfortable with that either.

"Because that sure seemed like consent to me," he yelled. What the hell do you want from me, Olivia? An apology because I was in love with you?"

"Maybe," she admitted. "Maybe I wanted some sort of acknowledgement because I was so young."

"Well, you're not gonna get it," he slurred.

"I can see that," she said, turning toward the door.

"Oh come on," he said. "Where you going? Oh, that's it? We're done?"

"Goodbye Burton," she said, pulling the door shut behind her.

Before she could step away she heard something shatter right behind her head. She knew Burton had thrown his glass at the door. It was like a flashback to the night with her mother and the vodka bottle. Only this time she was on the right side of the door, and stronger than she'd been before.

She walked back to the stone bridge in Central Park that had the view of the Plaza. She pulled out her phone because she knew she had to make something right. She dialed a familiar number and when she got the voicemail, she left one.

"El, it's Liv," she said. "I wanted to tell you that you were right about Burton, and I'm sorry for being so defensive. And thank you."

She hung up and as she slipped the phone back into her coat pocket she felt the tape. She pulled it out and ran her fingers across the top and knew what to do. She slid her arm back, gave a nice chuck, and tossed the thing right into the lake. And it felt good for a few minutes, until it didn't. Then her chest ached and her head hurt and she wanted to go home and lay down. But her phone was ringing. She picked it up without looking.

"Benson," she said, hating that she could hear the emotion in her voice.

"Liv," Elliot said across the line. "Where are you?"

"Central park near the stone bridge and the lake, where the path curves," she said. "View of the Plaza."

"Don't move," he said. "Pick a bench. Sit down. I'm coming."

"Okay," she said, hanging up.

Elliot must have already been driving around and looking for her because she showed up fairly quickly. He dropped to the bench but wouldn't look at her. Neither of them spoke for a few minutes.

"I'm sorry I lashed out at you in the cribs," she said.

"I'm sorry I wasn't more sympathetic to the situation," he said. "I don't like seeing you get hurt. I don't like seeing these men…"

"These men what, El?" she snapped. "And who are all these men you seem to think are coming around?"

"I don't want this to become an argument," Elliot said. "I just wish this kind of stuff would stop happening to you. You've had a rough year."

"I've had a rough life, Elliot," she said. "So have you. It is what it is."

"You don't deserve it," he said.

"Nobody does," she said. "None of our victims. Not my mother."

She felt her breath hitch as she said it.

"Do you think it's better she's not here to see this?" Elliot asked.

"Actually no," Olivia said. "She tried to stop me from seeing him back then. I always thought she was trying to ruin my life. But maybe she was trying to save it."

Olivia couldn't help the tears that started to fall, and Elliot moved closer to put his arm around her shoulder.

"I wish I could tell her how sorry I am," Olivia said. "For not believing her sooner."

"Do you want to go out to the cemetery?" Elliot said. "It's not the same as if she were here, but we can go."

"No," Olivia said. "Talking to a stone won't make any difference."

"Alright," Elliot said. "Whatever you want."

"What if this same thing happens to Chelsea," Olivia said. "What if she's doomed to repeat the cycle?'

"It won't," Elliot said, squeezing her shoulder.

"How do you know?" she said. "I mean you said it yourself, predators are manipulative, and half her genes are foolish."

"Half of her genes are not foolish," Elliot said. "And she's got way more going for her than either of us ever had growing up. She loves you. You are her hero. That bond isn't going to break."

"Until she's a teenager and she thinks I'm ruining her life," Olivia said.

"You know the way your mother handled things was wrong," Elliot said. "You're not going to be like her. You're not going to let that happen. That little girl knows you love her unconditionally and she trusts the things you tell her. Having that foundation now is going to be so helpful as she gets older."

"How do you know?" Olivia asked.

"Because Maureen is starting to get to the age where she's hiding things from us, wants her privacy," Elliot said. "And it terrifies me because I know what I did at that age. But Kathy isn't even concerned. When Maureen encounters something where she's in over her head, she still comes to us, especially Kathy. They are close the way you and Chelsea are close. That security is going to keep her from making decisions you don't want her to make, or at the very least asking for your help in the middle of it all."

"Maybe I do need your expertise," she muttered, referring to their fight in the cribs.

"No, you just need reassurance," he said. "You didn't have a good role model for being a mom, and somebody on the outside has to remind you that you're not screwing it up. I know. I've lived it."

"I feel like you've had to clean up a lot of my emotional messes lately," Olivia said. "When are you going to have a crisis so I can repay the favor?"

"With my mother living with me, well we're due for a crisis any day now," he said, pulling her into him and resting his head on the top of her head. "Feel any better?"

"No," Olivia said. "But what do we always tell victims? Healing comes in time. Plus, hurling that tape to the bottom of the lake helped a little"

"It will and I'm sure it did," he said. "Let's go grab lunch before we head back to the precinct.

They had a good afternoon, and the further away Olivia got from the Lowe situation she thought more and more about soul mates. Burton clearly wasn't hers. And Mark might not be hers either. She was starting to question whether or not they existed at all until she got into work one morning. Munch was out for a personal day and Fin and Elliot had snagged a case before she got in.

There was a CD on her desk with a familiar scrawl in sharpie on the label.

"To the partner who always has my back, sorry I didn't have a cassette tape. A little something to replace the one at the bottom of the lake."

She pulled headphones from her desk and plugged them into her computer tower, then popped the CD into the disc drive. It had three songs on it:

1. I'll Stand By You - The Pretenders

2. This I Promise You - NSYNC

3. You've Got a Friend - James Taylor

Olivia wasn't done believing in soul mates just yet. She was just afraid that hers already belonged to someone else.


A/N: Chapter 20 of a multi-chap story is basically my 500th episode. I never thought we'd get here or this would be this long. But I'm still digging it. I think we're on the downward slope, but I have no idea how many more chapters this may be. There are a few more things I want to play out, I just don't know what's going to come between them. You know I love reviews.

Ya'll crack me up with the Mark stuff. LizMeloni and her idea to cut out his tongue a la the Albanians. HA! Probably not, but that would be something, wouldn't it?