Chapter Nine
I stood at the window, shivering. Harry was in the chair by the fire. Voldemort had disappeared somewhere, and we were left alone. The clock on the fireplace mantle was ticking loudly, the only sound in the room. Harry and I hadn't spoken a word since our embrace, neither of us knowing what was to become of us. I was frightened, but my independent streak wouldn't let me admit this to Harry. I remembered the days when he was the one I would always run to. He was the only one who ever knew how to make me feel better, and the only one I ever trusted to make me feel better. Things had changed so much since Hogwarts, and I missed those days terribly. The intimate night Harry and I had shared felt like forever ago.
"Jenna," Harry called. I didn't turn. I heard him walk over and felt his arms wrap around me.
"Why aren't you talking to me?" he asked. I could see the reflection of his face in the window.
"What makes you ask that?" I questioned.
"Because you haven't said anything, or responded to me when I've called out your name," he replied. I shrugged.
"There you go again, Jenna what's up with you?"
"If you don't know then I have no reason to tell you."
"What the bloody hell is that supposed to mean? I don't understand you anymore Jenna. You've closed yourself off from me." I couldn't hold back the harsh laugh.
"I've closed myself off to you?" I turned around to face Harry. "You shut me out a long time ago Harry, and I've been trying to reach you. Now you finally want back in, but I'm tired of letting you hurt me. Because you've hurt me more than anyone else ever did Harry." I pulled out of his grip and pressed my cheek against the glass, my hair hiding the other side of my face. I could still see the reflection of Harry, looking shocked.
"I never knew," he said softly, nodding. He went and sat back down beside the fire. I hadn't meant for that confession to come out, it had just slipped. I had never felt more distant from Harry than I did in that moment. I wanted to apologize, wanted him to take me back in his arms. His arms had always felt right to me. What could I do now though? I tried reaching out to his mind, but he'd blocked it from me. I wasn't mentally strong enough to break through.
"I told you Jenna. I told you he'd hurt you again. He doesn't really care about you, and he never has."
"That's not true," I whispered. "He never meant to hurt me."
"How can you believe that? He lied to you, over and over. Why didn't he write to you?"
"Because…I don't know."
"Exactly. He doesn't deserve your affection. He doesn't even deserve to call himself your best friend Jenna. He's betrayed you. How do you know he truly meant anything he ever said to you?"
"It felt right."
"We both know your heart lies. Remember Jason? He felt right, but look who he turned out to be. Tom Riddle." I shook my head, trying to get the voice out of my head. My vision was becoming fuzzy so I shut my eyes.
"I'm the only one you can trust now Jenna. I have never lied to you. A ghost of myself, yes, but I as I am today has never lied to you. How many can say that?"
"No," I gasped. "Get out of my head! Just leave me alone!"
"I only want to help you. You deserve only the best, and I can give that to you. I can give you the power to never grieve again. I can help you forget him. Forget all the horrible memories that have haunted you for years." I could see Voldemort, his eyes shining with power. Temptation I had never experienced now lay at my feet.
"You'll never have to feel any emotion again Jenna. All you have to do is trust me. Do you trust me?" I stared at him, an odd sensation tingling through my body. Slowly I nodded.
"Yes, just make the hurt leave," I begged. He reached out a pale hand to me and I took it. Suddenly, a powerful wind blew and a swirl of colors danced around me.
"I free you of him," hissed Voldemort. I opened my eyes and saw Harry, sleeping in the chair, completely unaware of what had happened. Hate flooded my veins as I looked at him. All of this was his fault, no one else's but his. He had ruined everything for me, and I wouldn't stand for it any longer. I gripped my wand that had appeared in my hand and walked over to the chair, jabbing my wand into his neck. Harry's eyes snapped open.
"Jenna," he gasped, sitting up, my wand still on his neck. "Jenna, what are you doing?"
"I'm tired of all the lies you told me," I hissed. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you."
"Voldemort," Harry answered.
"He's never lied to me," I replied, my hatred bubbling over. "He's always told me the truth, he's never hurt me Harry. You've hurt me, far too many times!"
"Jenna what is wrong with you! He's the reason everything bad has happened to you!"
"No, Harry. You are." His green eyes were filled with shock and hurt.
"Jenna," he whispered. "This isn't you. I know it's not. You're possessed."
"You don't know me anymore! You shut me out, and now I'm shutting you out, permanently." I raised my wand, ready to strike.
"Jenna please," Harry begged. "I know you. I do, and I know I haven't been the greatest friend in the world, but do you really want me dead?" I laughed, cold and cruelly.
"You have no idea how much I want you dead," I breathed, lowering my wand to my side.
"Kill him. Kill him now!" I raised my wand again, pointing it straight at Harry's heart. "Good girl. Now say the words, I know you can."
"Any last words Potter?" I asked. He stared at me, emerald eyes still in disbelief, swimming in a salty lake.
"Yeah," he answered softly. "Goodbye Jenna."
"Promise me that no matter what happens, you won't leave this world without saying goodbye to me." I shook my head, the looked at him again. He just stared, unblinking.
"Kill him!" the voice rippled through my body. I opened my mouth, preparing to utter the last words Harry would ever hear.
"I love you Jenna. That will never change, no matter how long we go without seeing each other."
"I love you too Harry."
"Avada-"
"What would I do without you Harry?"
"Keep your emotions in and be a basket case."
"Thanks for the honesty…" I blinked.
"Avada Kedav-"
"I love you Jenna." I fell to the ground, my head spinning. I had to kill him! But I loved him.
"What are you doing!" the voice screamed at me.
"I can't do it," I panted. "I can't." My wand clattered to the ground. It felt as though my head were going to split apart. The pain was intense as my subconscious fought a battle with itself. The pain ripped its way down my spine and through all my muscles. The room was spinning into darkness and I didn't know where I was or what was happening to me. The sensation halted as I collapsed into a pair of strong, familiar arms.
"I told you I knew you," Harry's deep voice whispered.
"I don't what happened to me," my voice shook with fear. "Oh Harry, I'm so sorry." I opened my eyes and looked up at him. His cheeks were tear stained. He held me closer in a loving embrace.
"It's all right," he answered soothingly. "I knew I could break through to the real you."
"By keeping your promise?" He nodded. "It set off a chain reaction of memories in my head."
"All I was hoping for was that me saying goodbye would trigger the real you to come out. Do you have any idea what happened?" I nodded, snuggling closer.
"Voldemort. He was inside my head and…and he manipulated me and made me hate you. It was awful. I almost killed you Harry." My lip trembled as I felt a fresh currant of tears coming.
"But you didn't, and I still have you here with me."
"What are we going to do Harry?" I looked up at him. "You can't defeat him without killing me."
"Well I can certainly try," he replied.
"I don't want to die Harry," I confessed. "I'm scared."
"I know Jenna," he rubbed my back soothingly. "We just have to try. Killing you will be the last resort, and only with your consent. Besides, if I killed you, George, Wood and Draco would kill me." I giggled.
"You know what frightens me most?"
"That Voldemort can talk to you in your mind?"
"Yeah…" Harry sighed and we fell into silence. I was shivering again, but not from the cold. I was afraid of what Voldemort could do to me, of what I had almost done to Harry.
"Really Jenna," Harry said. "Forget about almost murdering me. You weren't yourself and I know that." Good old Harry, reading my mind.
"Harry," I said.
"Hm?" he responded.
"Did you really mean it the other night when you said you still loved me?" He studied me for a moment, a smile in his eyes.
"I mean it when I said I'd always love you, no matter how long we were apart." I smiled.
"Now tell me, what brought this up?"
"Do you really have to ask that?"
"No, but I thought I'd be polite and ask anyway." I nodded and leaned against him again.
"I know you're still confused about your feelings and who you want to be with," Harry said slowly. "Can I ask you something though?" I nodded. "How do you really feel about Wood?" I smirked, holding in a laugh.
"I'd be lying if I said I hated him," was my answer. Harry cocked an eyebrow at me. "Ok Harry, I'll be honest. We've become more amiable towards each other. Amiable enough that we might have shared some lip contact while he was being held hostage here with me."
"He kissed you!" Harry jumped up looking furious. I stood up also, still smirking.
"I said maybe, I never said he actually did, and you can't prove anything." I walked over to the bed, laying down and yawning. "I'm tired. Good night Harry."
"No, you're talking," he marched over to the bed. "Did you, or did you not kiss Oliver Wood?"
"It's hard to remember, the details of that horrific time are a little fuzzy."
"Jenna," Harry whined. I waved him off and turned onto my side.
"Why didn't you kill him?" Voldemort demanded.
"Because I love him."
"He doesn't love you."
"Yes he does, he does love me. And perhaps he's hurt me, but he meant all of his apologies. And he kept his promise. You're the one who was wrong."
"How dare you speak to me like that! I'm rethinking letting you live."
"Go ahead and kill me. I'd rather be dead with Harry than alive without him."
"Oh that's completely grotesque and taken out of one of those muggle romance movies. I'm ashamed to know you."
"So now what do you plan to do with me?" Voldemort stared at me, unblinking, pondering his next move.
"Well obviously those buffoons who care about you will come back. So perhaps I'll let them come so I can kill them all. Yes, that suffices. What do you think my dear?" I refrained from saying anything, not daring to let him know how much I wanted them alive.
"Oh sweet girl," he laughed, cupping my cheek. "You forget we're connected now. I hear your thoughts, how else do you think I took control of your mind? Although, you proved much stronger than I had perceived." Even in my dreams his fingers were like ice. "Do you think they'd all be willing to die to let you have your freedom?"
"Wood would never."
"Then why did he kiss you before?" A smirk adorned his white skin. I looked away, unable to answer. "They all love you. I admit, even I have fallen under your spell. It's your rapturous beauty and sharp tongue."
"Leave them alone and I promise I'll stay with you," I answered.
"And why would I agree to a deal like that? My powers are strong enough that I could kill them all with a single blow, and still be able to keep you as my captive. You'll make a wonderful queen when the world is completely mine. After all, queens are simply a thing to look at. A pretty figure next to the powerful king."
"You are completely degrading."
"I try my best." He bowed and my dreams became swirling white fog.
I opened my eyes and looked at Harry, sleeping next to me. I saw him frown and struggle in his sleep. I wondered how much time either of us had left. His life was at stake by being here with me. Voldemort had made it clear I would never have my freedom again. Harry shook convulsively, snapping me out of my thoughts.
"Harry," I whispered gently, touching his arm. His green eyes snapped open. "You all right?"
"I…had a bad dream," he looked away. I brushed away the hair that was sticking to his forehead. "Voldemort had killed you."
"Well I'm definitely still here," I smiled a little, unsure if I should tell him about my dream.
"What's bothering you?" I sighed.
"I had a bad dream too," I answered. "Voldemort decided to pay me a little visit. None of this is going to turn out like we want Harry. He aims to kill you and the others, and keep me as a prisoner."
"Why would he keep you after he's killed everyone that cares?" Harry questioned.
"Trophy wife," I answered. Harry shuddered.
"That's just not right," he grimaced. I laughed.
"Thanks for the concern."
"No, I mean honestly, Voldemort married? How creepy sounding is that!" I whacked him with my pillow.
