Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all his friends (and enemies) are the brain-child of J.K. Rowling. I'm just borrowing them. Exclusive ownership belongs to JKR, Arthur A. Levine Books and Scholastic Inc. Jane Sinclair and all additional characters belong to me. You belong to yourself.

A/N: Previous chapters have finally been updated – grammar and style have been corrected, and annoying A/N's have been removed. Feel free to go back and check out my nifty new subtitles. School has started again, but I'll be adding new chapters regularly – the story isn't over until you see the words The End.


I saw your face and heard you call my name

Oh my friend we're older but no wiser

For in our hearts the dreams are still the same

Those Were the Days, Mary Hopkins

Chapter Twenty – Healing, Part I

where Severus gets better and things look up…

He was so thirsty. He needed…

"Water," he requested hoarsely.

The word was barely more than a whisper, but Jane started awake. She was immediately by his side and bent over him, examining his pale features. He looked so weak and vulnerable – a far cry from the capable virile man she knew him to be. His eyes were still closed, and for a moment, she thought that she'd imagined hearing him.

"Severus?" she asked uncertainly.

He swallowed painfully, and gathered strength to speak again. "Water," he croaked.

Jane reached for the goblet sitting on the nightstand beside his bed and circled one finger along its rim, just like one of the Healers had shown her. It immediately filled with delicious cool water. She slipped an arm around Severus' shoulders and held the goblet to his lips. He drank in greedy gulps until she had to pull it out of his reach.

"Slowly," she cautioned him. Jane wasn't sure whether he'd heard her, because his eyes were still closed, but he nodded slightly.

It was Heaven, he thought as the cool water trickled down his throat, soothing away the pain, quenching his thirst.

"More," he whispered, and Jane complied.

Once more, she held the goblet to his lips, and Severus drained it. As soon as it was empty, it refilled with water. Eventually, he moved his head aside, indicating that he was done, and sank back against the pillows, breathing heavily from the exertion.

He felt a cool hand on his forehead, checking his temperature. The hand lingered for a moment, before moving to caress his cheek.

"Please, get well soon."

He knew that touch. He knew that voice. Jane was here. His Jane.

"Jane?"

"Shhh," she soothed. "I'm here. You're safe."

"Jane…"

"Don't talk now, Severus," she instructed him gently. "Conserve your strength. I'm not going anywhere."

He swallowed and nodded drowsily. "Good."

She stroked his head again. "Rest, my love."

He nodded again and almost immediately fell into a fitful sleep. Jane sighed, picked up her book and curled up in her armchair.

Some time during the night, Severus suddenly started awake. He couldn't remember what woke him, but it didn't matter now. He was done sleeping. Slowly, he opened his eyes. The soft low light that greeted him hurt his eyes, still sensitive from the darkness that had enveloped him for so long. He didn't know where he was and looked about him in confusion, once his eyes had adjusted. Turning his head slightly on the pillow, he made out Jane's sleeping form. The upper part of her body lay draped over the side of his bed, her head resting on her crossed arms next to his chest. Her presence was comforting. Severus recalled her voice guiding him through his fever dreams to sanity. With quite some effort, he slowly raised his hand and placed it gently on her head. He would rest easier now, knowing that he wasn't alone.

---

Jane started awake to the sound of raised voices.

"No, I will not take that infernal potion. Not until I know what's in it."

"Mr. Snape," a woman exclaimed, "must you be so difficult?"

"Severus?"

"Oh, thank God," the flustered Healer breathed. "Please, Miss Sinclair, talk some sense into him. He must take this Strengthening Potion."

Jane bent over Severus and searched his face. His dark eyes were glittering with suppressed anger, and she had to smile. His voice was still hoarse, but he was back to his old self, she realized happily. She sat on the bed beside him and grasped one of his hands.

"Severus," she told him gently. "You have been very ill, and now you need to build up your strength. Please take the potion."

"Fine," he grumbled ungraciously.

The Healer quickly poured the steaming liquid into him and retreated hastily from the room.

"The woman is a menace," Severus said, when the door had closed behind her.

"She just wants you to get better…"

He snorted.

"We all do," Jane assured him and brushed his hair out of his face. "How are you feeling?"

He moved to prop himself up and winced. His entire body was still painfully sore, especially when he moved. He grimaced.

"I'm not dead," he said wryly. "That should count for something, I guess."

Severus noted the pained expression on Jane's face. "What is it?"

Jane shook her head and presented him with a brilliant smile. "Nothing," she lied through her teeth. There was no reason to upset him – yet.

"So…" She quickly changed the subject. "How do you like your private room? St. Mungo's doesn't provide them to just anyone, you know…"

"It's… adequate," Severus offered disinterestedly. Jane wasn't telling him something important, he realized, and he was determined to find out what she was hiding from him.

"How long have I been here?" he finally asked.

Jane quickly calculated. "Five days. This is your sixth…"

"And you've been here with me the entire time?" he asked carefully.

"Yes," she told him gently, stroking his hand.

A muscle in his face twitched. "Why?"

Her eyes widened. "Why?" she echoed incredulously. "Do you even have to ask?"

"I was simply wondering," he told her indifferently.

"Don't start all this nonsense again, Severus," she warned him. "You know I love you. Is it so difficult to grasp that I want to be with you? Take care of you?"

Severus studied her for a long moment.

"What happened?" he asked her softly.

Jane's eyes widened. She didn't want to tell him. Not, yet. "Don't you remember?"

"I remember finding you, and then – nothing." Severus frowned. "Just darkness and pain."

"Oh, Severus…" Jane's eyes suddenly began to well up, and she quickly averted her gaze, but his sharp eyes already had noticed the tears.

"Jane, what is it?" he asked her worriedly. He hated the fact that he'd made her cry, yet, again.

Jane examined their entwined fingers on the crisp white hospital covers, looking for the right words. She took a deep breath.

"Voldemort killed you," she finally told him.

Severus glowered at her darkly. "What do you mean," he asked her in a dangerously low voice, "he killed me?"

"Now, Severus, please don't get upset." Jane tried to soothe him. "He was about to kill me, and you challenged him… You dueled with him most magnificently," she added proudly.

He stared at her, unbelieving. "The Dark Lord killed me?"

Jane nodded silently.

Severus withdrew his hand from hers and hugged himself. "How?" he asked quietly.

"You stumbled," she told him brokenly, "and he used the Killing Curse…"

He squeezed his eyes shut, attempting to come to terms with what he'd just heard. Jane watched the play of emotions on his face, and she longed to hug and comfort him, but his crossed arms were not inviting intimacy.

"Why, then," he suddenly demanded, "am I still alive?"

"Well, I," Jane began, "I… I brought you back."

"You did?" he asked incredulously. "How?"

She reached for his hand again and told him everything. When she had finished, Jane watched his face expectantly, but he did not look at her. Severus stared quietly off into the distance and didn't say a word for a very long time.

---

"What do you mean, he doesn't want any visitors?"

Molly Weasley's sharp voice penetrated through the door. Jane cringed and threw a worried glance towards Severus. He was asleep again, and she didn't want him to wake and exert himself. Apparently, however, he hadn't heard Molly.

"Of course, he'll see us!"

The door opened suddenly, and Molly came marching in, followed by her husband and gaggle of offspring. Hermione Granger was also with them. Remus was the only one missing. Jane sighed and smiled in welcome.

"Doesn't want any visitors, indeed," Molly scoffed disgustedly. Then her expression softened.

"Oh, hello, Jane," she greeted the younger witch sitting with Severus. "How are you, dear?"

"Alright," Jane offered, already feeling overwhelmed by the mob of people squeezed into the tiny room.

"And Severus?" Arthur Weasley studied the man on the bed. "We, uh, heard that he finally woke…"

"Yes." Jane nodded happily. "He's resting now, though. Maybe, if you all came back later?"

Fred and George nodded vigorously and quickly disappeared through the door.

"Just where do they think they're going?" Molly exclaimed loudly and Jane cringed again.

Ron shrugged. "Dunno," he offered. "Maybe the tea room?"

"Excellent idea," Arthur enthused and began to herd the remaining Weasley clan out the door. "Come on, you lot. I feel somewhat peaked myself."

Molly shot him a curious glance, but then nodded in agreement. "Yes," she told them. "Go on, then. Meanwhile, I'll visit with Jane for a bit."

Ron and Hermione were the last to leave.

"Thank God," Ron whispered loudly. "I still don't understand why Mum made us visit him. It's not like anyone really cares…"

"Ronald Weasley," his mother screeched, placing her fists on her hips. "Explain yourself this instant!"

Jane shot another worried glance at Severus. His face was scrunched up unhappily, but his eyes were still closed.

"Well, it's true," Ron defended himself half-heartedly. "Nobody would miss him, if he croaked."

Molly stared at her son in disbelief, and Jane's eyes narrowed. Hermione tugged urgently at his sleeve, begging him to be quiet. She'd noticed Jane's expression change and realized that Ron was on very thin ice. However, he didn't heed her warning.

"Why is he alive, when Harry and Tonks aren't?" he asked her self-righteously. "It's not fair! He doesn't deserve to live when so many other good wizards are dead," he cried angrily, voicing his grief the only way he knew how.

Hermione's hands flew to her mouth, and her eyes widened in shock. "Ron!" she exclaimed, scandalized.

For once in her life, Molly was speechless. Before she could find a fitting response to her son's thoughtless words, Jane had risen from the bed and drawn herself to her full height of five feet three inches.

"How dare you?" she asked the boy coldly.

Ron noticed anger blazing in her eyes, the ice in her voice, and finally realized he'd gone too far. His face turned a furious red and he tugged uncomfortably at his collar, suddenly unable to breathe. "Erm…"

"How dare you say that?" Jane asked again. "Don't you know what Severus has done for all of us? For the entire Wizarding world? How dare you pass judgment on this man, after all that he has done for you? Had it not been for him, your precious Harry would not have been able to overcome Voldemort! He sacrificed himself for all of you. He gave his life for you! The least you can do is to show him some respect."

Ron was staring at his feet, properly chagrined. Hermione also looked rather embarrassed.

"He didn't mean it," she mumbled apologetically.

"Really?" Jane asked scathingly. She was seething with anger now.

"Yes, well," Molly quickly jumped in, still mortified at her son's insensitivity. "Jane, dear, maybe it's better if I visit with you another time." She looked pointedly at Ron. "Alone."

"Yes," Jane agreed coolly. "It might be better."

"Please give Severus our best."

"I will."

"Well, then." Molly looked about her, unsure how to make a dignified exit. "I… erm, I guess we'll go then."

She herded Ron and Hermione out of the room and closed the door behind them. Staring after them, Jane breathed a sigh of relief and fought to get her feelings under control.

"Are they gone?"

Jane swirled around. "Severus, you're awake," she noted unnecessarily.

He slowly opened his eyes, and his lips curled wryly. "Molly's voice can raise the dead…"

"Don't joke," Jane admonished him.

"You can't blame young Weasley, you know," Severus told her. "He and Potter were joined by the hip for seven years…"

"I know he's grieving," Jane admitted. "I also know of your history with them. But that's still no excuse for the cruel things he said about you."

Severus held out his hand, and Jane rushed to his side. "They've thought, and said, much worse about me over the years, Jane," he explained quietly. "I'm used to it."

"Well, I'm not," she told him decidedly. "I won't have Ron Weasley, or anyone else for that matter, speak ill of you."

He smiled. "You are determined to protect me at all cost, aren't you?"

"Of course, I am!" She looked at him tenderly. "I promised, didn't I?"

Severus raised her hand to his lips and kissed it. "Thank you."

Jane's eyes widened. "For what?"

"For everything," he told her simply. "For bringing me back. For believing in me. For defending me. For… loving me."

She leaned forward and kissed him gently on the mouth. "You're welcome," she whispered against his lips.

Severus brought his other arm around her and drew her down onto the bed. Jane readily snuggled against him and hugged him tightly. He sighed contently.

"It seems an eternity since I've held you in my arms," he told her.

"I missed you, too."

For a while, they lay in comfortable silence.

"I… I'm sorry," he finally said.

Jane lifted her head to look at him. "For what?"

"For all those nasty things I said to you – before. I didn't mean any of it."

She squeezed him gently, careful not to hurt his sore body. "I know."

Her simple acceptance touched him. Unlike him, Jane held no grudges. She was warm and generous, gentle and loving. He still couldn't believe that she chose to love him. He was very lucky. Very lucky, indeed. Savoring the feel of Jane's body draped over his, he contently closed his eyes. Gradually, his breathing slowed and lulled Jane to sleep as the excitement of the day caught up with her.

---

She was late for the ball. Picking up her dress, she hurried along the corridor leading to the Great Hall. Severus would be furious. She knew how much he valued punctuality. He took tardiness very personally. A mischievous smile spread over her face. It would be fun to see how he chose to punish her. At the worst, he would ignore her for the rest of the evening. At best, he would subject her to a very passionate night. With that pleasurable thought, she had reached the Great Hall and, taking a deep breath, quickly smoothed her dress.

He was watching her from across the room. She could feel his brooding stare, even before she saw him. It caused the fine hairs on the back of her neck stand up on end and made her skin tingle. Donning an inviting smile, she turned to face him, but what she saw caught her by surprise. Gone was the aloof and untouchable Severus Snape. In his stead was a man of flesh and blood whose dark eyes burned with such desire that sent jolts of icy heat through her body. His eyes raked over her with unconcealed hunger, and she smiled confidently. She had intentionally worn her midnight-blue dress, recalling the effect it had had on him one year ago. Severus' reaction this evening told her that she had chosen correctly. She met his smoldering gaze and knew immediately that he would not ignore her tonight.

"Jane." Remus appeared by her side. "You look stunning," he told her truthfully.

"Remus!" she exclaimed and hugged him. "I did not expect you."

Remus stepped back and smiled sheepishly. "Yes, well," he explained. "I had a meeting with Minerva, and she invited me to stay. She… well, she thought I could do with some socializing."

"I'm glad you came."

"Will you save me a dance?"

"What?" She looked at him, confused. "Of course, I'll dance with you. Why do you even ask?"

Remus nodded towards someone behind her. She followed his gaze, and her eyes beheld Severus, standing at the edge of the dance floor, watching them intently. She smiled.

"Don't worry about Severus," she told him gently. "I've explained our friendship to him. He now knows better than to make a scene."

Remus smiled. "He looks rather jealous…"

She sneaked another peek at Severus, who looked rather displeased. In fact, he was positively glowering now.

"I don't believe it!"

"Would you care to place a bet on that?" Remus offered her his arm, winking roguishly.

"He promised!"

"Then you should have nothing to worry about."

"Exactly," she told him primly, accepting his offer and challenge. "Let's dance."

Remus led her out onto the dance floor and pulled her into his arms. They had completed one circle round the room, when a dark figure stepped into their path.

"May I cut in?" Severus drawled arrogantly. "You don't mind, Lupin, do you?"

He never looked at his old schoolmate. He only had eyes for her.

"Not at all, Severus," Remus replied, grinning smugly.

Severus reached for her in a sweeping gesture and drew her possessively to his side. He took her in his arms and stared into her eyes.

"When will you understand," he asked her tersely, "that you belong to me?"

In her sleep, Jane smiled happily and snuggled closer against Severus, who was having dreams of his own.

He stood over the unconscious wizard he'd been battling. Arthur Weasley nodded gratefully and quickly performed several binding spells on the Death Eaters lying at their feet. Turning around, he realized that Jane had gone. He cursed and went in search of her.

He made his way downstairs into the thick of battle. The air, thick with smoke and dust, was filled with the shouts of the combatants and the screams of the dying. He stepped over dead bodies, his dark eyes scanning the crowd for Jane. Suddenly, he saw her. The Dark Lord had just thrown her off her feet and was approaching her, his wand at the ready. Fear like he'd never known before, painfully squeezed his heart, and Severus fought his way through the mob. He caught a glimpse of Voldemort pointing his wand at Jane, who immediately began to writhe and contort as the Cruciatus Curse hit her.

He cursed again and forged forward. Several Death Eaters stepped in his way, and he quickly disposed of them. He reached them, just as the Dark Lord was bearing down on Jane, who was staring up at him, her face contorted with pain.

"Now, it is my turn, Miss Sinclair," Voldemort said. "Now, you die."

"NO!"

He surged forward, only one thought in his mind – to shield her from the Dark Lord.

"Severus," Voldemort acknowledged him calmly and aimed his wand at him. "So, this is how it will end? Over a woman?"

He merely shrugged. "We cannot choose our destiny."

"Destiny…" Voldemort slowly shook his head, something akin to regret in his eyes. "There are much worthier causes to die for, Severus…"

"There are certain things I regret, Voldemort, but this is not one of them."

The Dark Lord smiled maliciously. "I'm glad to hear it."

Before he could guess his intent, Voldemort pointed his wand at Jane. "Avada Kedavra!"

"NO!"

Severus surged upright, panting heavily, the image of Jane's lifeless body etched into his mind. Beside him, Jane mumbled something and stretched, but didn't wake up. Ignoring the shooting pain in his body, he twisted onto his side and watched her sleep. A happy smile was gracing her face.

He frowned.


Lost and Found © 2006 by MMHG