I'm (once again) so sorry for taking so long, but fear not, I'm almost finished writing this story... I think...
Balance chp 12: Vote Love!
"It's so quiet in there!" murmured Fred nervously twirling a lock of hair around her finger.
"My weather forecast tells me it's raining, sweetheart." sighed Lorne, massaging his temples.
"Calista's crying." muttered Angel from where he and Spike were standing by the door.
"No bloody shit, peaches!" grumbled Spike, taking a long drag on his cigarette, and exhaling slowly. Angel glared at him then the frown dropped and his sad expression returned. He was too upset to even get angry at Spike of all people.
"You know," started Willow hesitantly, "I never really liked the Powers, b-but I never really thought they'd, y'know do what they did."
"I know, all those children, they were so afraid but they didn't run, they met the attack head on." said Fred shakily as she remembered.
"Ok I'm probably the person who knows the least about the Powers That Don't Know How to Be Nice, but even I thought they were the good guys, they may be annoying, like Anya, but still, always acting for the greater good." said Xander.
"You wanna talk annoying?" snarled Anya, "You are the most annoying human to ever walk the earth, I can't believe I would ever want to marry you, let alone be upset that you left me at the alter, which by the way I'm still angry about!"
"Stop!" snapped Buffy, as Xander opened his mouth to respond, "We have enough to worry about without turning on each other."
"She's right, we have to get along, including you two." said Wesley looking at Angel and Spike who glared at him and said simultaneously
"We are getting along!"
"I'm sure." he responded dryly.
"A-a-anyway g-getting back t-to the matter, now correct me if I'm wrong but the Powers That Be are supposed to keep the balance a-and yet they allowed an entire civilisation to collapse, and they were on the side of light, they created the slayers, gave us the lives we lead in a sense." Giles paused as he took off his glasses and began to clean them, he slipped them back on his nose and continued, "Connacht mentioned something about them being corrupted by one of their own but that doesn't make any sense, they're the bloody Powers that Be!" he was clearly getting frustrated.
"It doesn't make any sense, unless…" Angel suddenly lifted his head his eyes wide.
"Unless what? Angel?" Buffy stood up and touched his forearm. She saw Spike stiffen as she did. Angel looked at her and said
"Do you remember that Connacht said, that they would have been more powerful the Powers if they'd been on the same plain of existence as them, but because they were on our level, a lower level, then they couldn't stop the Powers."
"So?" asked Anya
"So, maybe the Powers aren't these all powerful beings they've made themselves out to be, maybe they're just like us, like the children of vampires, they can be hurt, they can be corrupted, they can die from injury. But because they're so high up, no one can reach them and they control everything they do, but they have desires, they have wants and they are good and evil." There was a ringing silence, if Angel was right, then this changed everything. Gunn frowned and stood up and said,
"Look, I say we forget about the Powers, we make our own choices, we don't answer to them, we fight the good fight because we want to, not because they make us, I honestly don't care what the Powers That Be really are, alls I know is, I'm a brother who wants to save a good friend, and help protect Calista and the kids from this evil!" Fred smiled gently at him and said
"You've been practising that haven't you?" Gunn gave a half smile and said
"Maybe a little, doesn't make a difference, I meant what I said." He stuck his chin out proudly. Molly stood up and said
"I think your right, we have to keep going, it's an honour to be part of a creation of the Children of Vampires. We should act as such."
"Yeah, we can beat these guys, we just need to have the guts." said Kennedy from where she sat with Willow.
"But first we need to get Connor and Calista to make up." said Angel
"Oh no!" exclaimed Lorne standing up, "Look I'm all for love, hey if it were in an election I'd vote for it, but this is something we can't interfere in."
"But we can't just let them argue during an apocalypse, even I can feel the bad vibes in there!" said Fred frowning.
"Look Freddykins, we really can't get in this, we'd just make things worse, they need to see the other one as more then just one thing. Connor needs to see Calista as more then the person who will keep him going, but as someone he needs to take care of. Calista needs to understand the Connor doesn't always want a fight, that he just wants to stop but that he doesn't seem to be able to, whether because of someone else or because of something inside him, he's being forced to always fight. They grew up being forced into their places, warrior and carer, because of where they were and who they were with, stereotyping each other without realising it." Angel closed his eyes as he tried to keep his head together, it was easy to get angry at what had and what was happening to them but he need to stay cool. "Angelcakes, we keep seeing something that's not real with them, they've built thick walls of protection to hide behind, but in reality, they are just frightened kids, whether they acknowledge it or not." Spike growled and punched the wall angrily,
"This isn't fair!" he yelled, "They've had enough, why can't they just be left the hell alone?"
"Because they're special!" said Angel softly.
"Is that what you tell them?" sneered Spike, "Because if it is, no wonder junior and you don't get along!"
"Yeah well who asked you, momma's boy!" snapped Angel
"Oh no, you are not turning this into an argument between us, you have got to face the facts!" said Spike sternly, pointing his index finger at him accusingly. "You think that if you sugar coat things, give everything a positive spin it'll make things easier for them, but lets face it Liam! You can't do that to them of all people, they were thrown into the deep end and are still trying to swim to shore. You can't just say to them that they're special, because they won't listen to that, because they don't want it, they don't want to be special, they want to be normal! You need to give them straight answers for once, not the drivel about being a champion or any other hero crap that pops into that over sized, ego inflamed head of yours!"
"What do you know, William?" spat Angel angrily.
"Apparently a hell of a lot more about your son then you do!"
"Stop it, stop it right now!" cried Dawn angrily, both vampires looked at her in surprise. "You two are so selfish, arguing with each other when we're in the middle of an apocalypse, we need to work together and your acting like two children!" Dawn glared at them although she was as surprised as the rest at her of all people scolding two of the best warriors. Both glared at each other then backed down, Lorne went to the door and rested his head against it for a moment. He looked at them.
"I think it's safe, but brace yourselves, it may not be easy." He opened the door and walked out slowly, Angel and the others right behind him.
The lobby was empty at first glance, then they saw Connor sitting on the bench out in the garden and they saw the back of Calista as she walked upstairs. As they entered the lobby there was a bad feeling in the air, it was thick and made their skin crawl. Lorne went a funny shade of green.
"Oh that's one humdinger of a vibe." he groaned as he teetered on his feet. Connor looked at him through the glass doors with concern. He stood up and walked inside,
"What's the matter with you Lorne?" he asked looking at the demon curiously. Lorne gave him a strained cheerful smile and said
"Oh don't you worry your little head over uncle Lorne, I just need some REM!" Connor nodded, then he turned and went back outside. His head leaned back, to look at the stars. Lorne sighed sadly, he looked at Angel,
"The guilt is coming off him in waves, that's why he asked." Angel had a parental urge to go outside and talk to him but what could he say? It'll be alright? How the hell could he just say that, he couldn't back it up! Still he had to try. He moved to talk to him but Lorne grabbed him by the arm and shook his head,
"Let him think." He reluctantly sighed and nodded. Wesley sighed softly, then said
"We should all try to rest a bit, we need to keep our strength up as much as possible."
"Ok."
"Yeah, your right."
"Good night everyone."
"'Night." One by one they left for their beds, Buffy gave Angel's hand a squeeze and then ascended the stairs, the prickling of the hairs on her neck telling her Spike was following her. She ignored it until she reached her room, leaving the door open so he knew he could enter. He stopped just before the threshold and said
"You know what I feel. But I don't know how you feel, and with Captain Forehead around I can't help but wonder…"
"If I'm choosing him over you." finished Buffy sitting on the end of the bed facing him. She stared for a moment then said "I'm not sure, it's hard, I mean Angel was the first guy I ever loved, but at the moment I have no idea where we stand, and to be honest I'm not sure where we stand either." Spike bowed his head slightly with a sigh,
"You know slayer, there isn't anything I wouldn't do for you, hell I went and got myself a soul for you, and Angel, well he left you, can't be with you because of his soul, had a kid without telling you, and in case you haven't noticed there seems to be more then friendship between him and Cordelia." Buffy tensed at those words, in truth she had noticed a strange wistful and yearning look in Angel's eyes when ever he spoke of Cordelia. Spike saw he had hit the nail on the head, so he pressed his advantage,
"I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to Buffy, but I won't let him hurt you because he's moved on and you can't yet." Buffy looked at him her eyes soft and understanding.
"Thank you Spike." she whispered. Spike nodded then said
"Night luv." And walked away to his own room which he shared with Andrew because Buffy had asked him to 'puppy sit' as she called it. She wasn't far off the truth, Andrew was definitely as eager and annoying as a pup, the only difference was that he didn't piss everywhere, although there had been a few close calls.
Buffy sighed as she lay on her bed, covering herself with the blanket. She thought about what Spike had said, and wondered if he was right. She need to know, she needed to find out if Angel was in love with Cordelia, or was he still hers at the end of the day…
"Wesley wait!" Wesley stopped and turned to see Gunn jogging up to him. "Listen you know that fight we had."
"My mind only faintly does although that might be because you gave me a slight concussion." he said dryly smiling slightly to take the sting out of his words. Gunn rubbed the back of his neck embarrassedly and said awkwardly
"Yeah well I wanted to say… sorry." Wesley started slightly in surprise, Charles Gunn was apologising? The British man resisted the urge to pinch himself.
"Well, it really was my fault, I shouldn't have kissed Fred, and after all she is your-"
"Ex-girlfriend." finished Gunn for him. Wesley looked at him surprise, "We ended it a couple days ago, agreed it wasn't working, promised to stay friends and that was that, clean cut."
"Was it?" Wes asked doubtfully.
"Yeah really it was, I felt better for it, me and Fred, we're better of as friends."
"Well then… good for you." Wes wasn't sure what else he could say. Gunn chuckled lightly as he saw through Wesley's words.
"Hey look I know that you really love her so why not go for it? Now that she's a free woman before someone else sweeps her up. Oh and to add to the necessary boilerplate, you ever hurt her, I'm gonna kill ya like a chicken!" Wes nodded
"Acceptable terms."
They shook hands and bid each other good night.
Faith sighed as she sat down on her bed then thumped the bed in frustration. She stood up and began to pace feeling itchy in a way that she couldn't scratch. Suddenly she turned and hurried out the door intent on making the punch bag understand her feelings, when she crashed right into Robin Wood. The principal put his hands on her shoulders to steady her.
"Whoa, Faith you ok?"
"Yeah, just feelin' the pressure, was thinking o' working it out on the punch bag." She smiled at him, she'd been grateful for his comfort after The First had made it's appearance the night she'd arrived, just before Calista appeared, but she hadn't talked to him really since.
"Oh really, mind if I tag along? She shook her head,
"Not at all." she said, Robin smiled and then said,
"Looks like we're in a quite a rut now with those two teens fighting."
"Hey, they'll get back together. Have a little faith."
"I think I've had more then my fair share thanks." He smirked.
"Well, I trundled right into that one, didn't I? Look, I'm sorry if it seemed like I was blowing you off the other day. I was just trying to, you know, blow you off."
"Yeah, you know what, I figured that one out all by myself."
"Its nothing personal, it's just, I mean we had fun right? And I think both of us needed it but, uh, don't make anything of it." Robin didn't look fazed
"That's fine! Oh, and, uh, for the record, our little encounter didn't exactly change my world." Faith was surprised
"You're tripping! That was rock 'em, sock 'em!"
"No, no, no, no. It was—it was—it was nice enough, you know, and you're—you're very, um... mm, enthused, and I think with a little more experience—"
"Dude, I got mad skills!" exclaimed Faith, insulted
"Yeah, of course. C'mon lets getting punchin'."
"No, hell with that. We're going again, baby. You're gonna learn a little respect here, pal." Faith grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him into a kiss. He didn't resist. No man could. For Faith, this was a much better way of relieving tension.
Calista had been wandering about the hotel for hours now, the very idea of sleep was ridiculous to her. She eventually found herself in the attic of the Hyperion. There were, what must have been a hundred boxes, all covered in dust. Curious and desperate for a distraction, she opened the closest one to see what it held. It was full of books, poetry, mystery, and fiction books. Calista saw several titles she'd heard some other pregnant girls talking about, that they were reading for collage or high school. She'd kept to herself then, afraid and humiliated because she was so different from them, they had grown up with normal parents, had normal friends, normal lives, and what was she, a freak that's what! Feeling the anger that was always so close to the surface welling up again she closed the box and went to the window to look out at the stars. There were no stars or moon or sun in Qour-Toth, and she had always found them a comfort, often singing the song Daniel had taught her and Steven,
Twinkle, twinkle, little star
How I wonder what you are
Up above the world so high
Like a diamond in the sky
Twinkle, twinkle little star
How I wonder what you are.
She liked the song, so sweet and soft. It was like the lullaby Daniel had sung to send them to sleep, if he was in a good mood and they had behaved
Sleep my child and peace attend thee,
All through the night
Guardian angels God will send thee,
All through the night
Soft the drowsy hours are creeping,
Hill and dale in slumber sleeping
I my loved ones' watch am keeping,
All through the night
Angels watching, e'er around thee,
All through the night
Midnight slumber close surround thee,
All through the night
Soft the drowsy hours are creeping,
Hill and dale in slumber sleeping
I my loved ones' watch am keeping,
All through the night
She always liked that song, it made her feel safe and for a time she could forget, forget Steven's screams of pain and words of pleading, forget the shouts of Daniel as he struck out at her friend while she cowered in the corner, wide-eyed and horrified as Steven's blood painted the floor and walls. She wanted to stop him but she didn't dare, Daniel was doing what was best, beating Steven would help destroy the demon in him, that's what he'd said. Daniel would stop and go and lie on his blankets and go to sleep, his back to them, and she would rush over to Steven and tend to his wounds, whisper words of comfort to him and keep her tears back, act strong to calm him. He would cling to her like she was a lifeline, and she would rock him to sleep, but not a tear escaped her. She still had not cried those tears twelve years later or any of the tears she had wanted to cry in that place. She'd built a dam, and now she couldn't break it.
"Sleep my love and peace attend thee, all through the night." Calista looked around as a familiar voice sang softly, "Guardian angels will lend thee, all through the night." Daniel Holtz appeared before her, grim faced. She stared at him in shock then realised it wasn't really him.
"Hello Calista." he said. She nodded, resting a hand on top of her belly. "What no words for the man who raised you?"
"You're not Daniel." she whispered, "You're The First." He chuckled and nodded
"Always was a sharp little thing, unlike Steven, who can be as dense as a boulder." She said nothing only stared passively at him. He became very serious, "You and Steven went against my orders!"
"And what orders were that?" she asked softly.
"I shouldn't have to remind you of my words when I found out you were pregnant." She closed her eyes as she remembered, and when she opened them again he said "You have not been acting accordingly either, you'd better start to or so help me I shall find some way of making you!" She raised her eyebrows and said
"What can you do, and why are you still pretending to be Daniel when I know your not?"
"Because this is a message from Daniel Holtz and you'd do well to remember it!" And with that he was gone. She sighed and rubbed her face tiredly. She doubted The First could really do anything to her for not obeying Daniel's wishes but still it was hard to ignore them. Her shoulders shook as she remembered what had happened. She'd been lying when she said that Daniel had been happy when he found out, in fact he'd been furious, especially because he'd caught them kissing and had forbid them to continue such things months before. When he'd found out she was pregnant he'd slapped Calista across the face and called her a whore and when Steven had tried to defend her Daniel had thrown them out. Once he'd more or less calmed down and taken them back in, Daniel had said
"Since there is no way to undo this, you shall marry if and when we return to the real world and you shall act accordingly now." That had meant little to Steven but for Calista it meant that she basically became Steven's property, something she'd been horrified about. Steven hadn't liked it either, he hated the thought of Calista being treated like an object, but neither of them could object especially since they didn't want to anger Daniel further. It was so humiliating for her, she had to agree to everything Steven said, do what he told her and more. Steven had tried to avoid it but if he didn't do it at all then Daniel would have seen what they were up to. There was a dull kick from the babies, they weren't happy, she could sense it. Then again she supposed hearing your mother didn't want you was very upsetting. She hadn't meant it the way it sounded, she meant that she wished that she and Ste-Connor were having them when they were older, more mature and used to this world and she wished she wasn't so bloody depended on in this apocalypse. She just wanted some normalcy, was that so much to ask for?
Two kicks. That meant no, she smiled softly, running her hands along the home of her children. They'd forgiven her for her words and they under stood her pain. Two more kicks and one punch. She knew that one, they were saying sorry for all the trouble.
"Did you ask for this?" she murmured aloud. Two kicks. No. "Then there's no need to apologise." Two punches and two kicks. Thank you. She smiled even more, but the smile faded away as she thought of Connor, she hated that they were fighting, she loved him so much and just want them to be happy together, with their babies. Would nothing ever go right for them? Tears of agony and anger began to fall down her cheeks, her fist connected with the wall. Why was the world against them? They just wanted peace and rest! The pain in her hand felt good, so she punched the brick wall again, and again. Her pent up frustration was building up and releasing with each punch, her vision was blurring from the tears in her eyes, her breathing quickened as she kept punching, kept hurting, kept crying.
Aww, I hope this makes up for the amount of time. :-)
Night's Darkness
