Balance chp 13: Coming to a head
Connor sighed and stood up his head still tilted back to see the stars, the children's rhyme running through his head. He walked slowly, almost dragging his feet across the ground. The lobby was empty, as he made his way upstairs he guessed everyone was asleep given the stifling silence that was all around him. He went into his room, half expecting, half hoping Calista would be there, but to his disappointment she wasn't there. He knew he wouldn't get a wink of sleep until he talked to her so he went back out to the corridor and picked up Calista's freshest scent. Following it he was lead up to the top of the hotel, to the attic. As he got closer to the door, he could hear a strange pounding sound and Calista's tear filled, distressed, heavy breathing. He quickened his pace and hurried into the room. He stopped short when he saw her. She was crying, and her hand was bleeding, staining the wall crimson, a hole appearing in it that was getting bigger with each punch. Connor walked over to her and gently grabbed her upper arm and turned her to him. She began to hit his chest, her shoulders heaving with each sob as she got more and more upset. Connor slowly pulled her closer, ignoring that she still struggled, until he had his arms wrapped around her and she broke down in his arms. She buried her face in his chest and bawled like a child, desperate for comfort. He stroked the back of her head, smoothing her silky hair that was tied back as usual, but didn't say a word, didn't tell her to stop and that it would be alright, because he didn't know if it would be, and he wouldn't lie to her.
"Connor, please make it stop!" she whimpered through her tears, "Please make this go away, let us be left alone."
"I wish I could, Calista, I really wish I could." he whispered, resting his chin on the top of her head. She continued to cry, thoroughly soaking Connor's shirt, but he paid it no mind. Eventually she started to calm down, her sobs reducing to hiccups. Connor looked down at her and gently wiped her tears away. She held his hand as he finished, reaching up and touching his chest, where her tears had soaked his shirt.
"Your shirt's all wet!" she said in a small voice.
"It'll dry." he said pushing back some of her hair out of her face. He studied her face, the face he'd always known but only really saw now, her eyes were red rimmed and full of pain, full of sadness, their light was being engulfed, her face was pale and haunted looking. She had let her mask fall away, showed him the truth. He saw how frightened she was and how vulnerable. He wrapped his arms around her protectively and pulled her against him, wordlessly telling her he understood. She clung to him digging her fingers slightly into his shoulders. He whispered in her ear,
"I'm sorry." She shifted slightly in his grasp then relaxed into him more,
"I know." She pulled away and looked into his eyes running her fingertips down the side of his face. He took her hand in his and looked at it. It was bloody, the abuse it had endured had taken its toll on her skin, but it would heal, physical wounds always did. But it was a lot harder to heal emotional wounds. But he knew she would, she was too stubborn to back down. He touched the wounds and then looked her in the eyes, wondering if she really saw what he felt for her, if his eyes were showing her how much he loved her. She loved his eyes, always had, just like he loved her hair. She told him she could spend a lifetime searching his eyes, and she'd never see enough in them. He loved to stroke her hair, soft and silky, sometimes spending hours just running his fingers through it relishing the softness among such hardship. He remembered the argument they'd had after Daniel had kicked them out. They'd found a cave to stay in, and Calista had been a mess, in hysterics over it all.
(Flashback)
"Oh Lord, oh help, Steven what have we done?" she cried pacing around, "We're so bad, so evil, we've committed sins to condemn us for sure!"
"How can creating life be a sin?" asked Steven logically
"It's the manner in which it was created that is the sin! We aren't meant to do those things unless we are married in the eyes of God!"
"And how do you know he doesn't see it that way?"
"He cannot see anything at all in hell, it is not his domain!" she screeched, "Oh what'll we do? Daniel is now all alone with no one to watch over him, he's too old to defend himself! And we don't know anything about raising a child!" She wrung her hands and ran them through her hair. Steven came over and hugged her tightly.
"It'll be alright, we're not far from him, if he gets in trouble, I'll know, so relax." On an impulse he pressed his hand to her lower stomach. She pulled away looking frightened. But he tried again more insistently and this time she didn't pull away. He smiled, not feeling anything, but knowing that it was there, their little baby. Calista clearly couldn't understand it. Steven figured it must be very incomprehensible to have a person within her, growing and being nurtured by her body. Her face was full of fear, confusion and uncertainty. "Soon we'll have a child, someone to symbolise our feelings. It'll have your hair, and your smile." She smiled at the thought.
"And your eyes."
"My eyes?" Steven shook his head; he didn't like that idea at all.
"Well I don't want the baby to have my hair, and why not your eyes?"
"Because my eyes have seen too much, I don't want our baby to be like that!"
"Well I do! I want to look at our baby's eyes and see the beauty in them, see another world!"
"Well I want to hold the child and feel your hair on its head in my hand. It's a soft pure thing, rare in hell."
"Well if you want my hair then I get the eyes!" she smirked her own eyes dancing in delight. Steven groaned but then gave in.
"Alright our baby will have my eyes and your hair." The words were no sooner leaving his lips before Calista's touched them hungrily. The comfort from them was something he took eagerly and without hesitation, which upon later thought was the cause of their miracle.
(End flashback)
Calista leaned closer and gently pressed her lips to his. This woke Connor up faster then anything else ever could. He pulled her closer deepening the kiss gently, relishing her sweet taste, which was slightly salty from her tears. She suddenly tightened her grip hungrily, pushing him back against the wall. He pulled away to look at her with wide eyes, she smiled
"What?"
"Since when were you so aggressive?"
"Well what did you expect, my hormones are all over the place." She kissed him again, turning them around so she was pressed against the wall. Connor held her close, his hand reaching up and touching her hair. It was soft between his fingers, silky and smooth. Calista pulled away slightly and whispered
"You love my hair." Connor chuckled and said
"Of course I do." She looked up at him and said
"I feel better then I've ever felt, like I can breath easy again."
"That's because you've let it all out. You have let it 'all' out, right?" she rolled her eyes and smiled exasperatedly
"Yes I have!"
"Good, you have no idea how scary angry-you can be."
"Connor!"
Angel was in the lobby having been unable to sleep, rubbing his eyes with one hand he nuked some blood and drank hungrily, he hadn't had any blood since yesterday morning. He then pulled out his sketchpad and looked at the pictures, mostly focusing on the ones of Cordelia. Her sweet smile made his stomach flip-flop, just like Buffy's warm emerald eyes did to him… God he was so confused! Buffy was his first love and he would always love her, but Cordy… Cordy had been there for so much, they'd been through so much together. She'd become part demon so she could keep helping him fight the good fight, helped him take care of Connor when he was a baby… Cordy had always been there, right from the beginning, even when she had been a stuck up cheerleader. But Buffy… Buffy was his soul mate, his blood mate, he couldn't disregard that.
"Oh, Angel, what are you still doing up?" Angel looked up and saw Fred walking over to him dressed in cute teddy bear pyjamas, her bare feet making no sound on the floor.
"Couldn't sleep, you?"
"Same, I mean, everything's so messed up. Poor Cordy's possessed by some horrible evil thing and Connor and Calista are fighting, and then there's The First Evil, the root of all evil, I mean my God how can we defeat true evil, I mean its something we can't even touch."
"We'll find a way, we always do, but first we need to find out how to unlock Calista's powers to save Cordy."
"I just, I feel so useless I mean you and Connor and Buffy and the potentials are all so strong and able to fight, Willow's one of the most powerful witches of the world, Wesley and Giles have all that knowledge of magic and mystics, even Lorne has a way of helping by his ability to read people, and me, I'm just plain old human Fred who isn't brave like Anya or Charles or Xander, I'm just a girl who's into physics."
"Fred everyone means something in this group, even you, you represent what we're fighting for; average people with extraordinary potential, like you. The fact that your just Fred is why you're so important to the team. Don't doubt yourself." Fred smiled softly in thanks,
"I think I can sleep now." She turned around and began to head back to her bed then something stopped her. "Angel." she turned around, "Just a thought, but if this thing somehow did manipulate us into being here, then d'ya think maybe its influenced our feelings? Like maybe we feel a certain way about someone because it needed that to happen." Angel stared at her his eyes going wide as he thought that over, "You know what, never mind, I bet I'm wrong anyway, good night Angel."
"Night Fred, sweet dreams." Angel said distractedly. Could it be? Were the feelings he felt for Cordy really just part of that things manipulation? It made sense, it picked Cordy to inhabit and made him think he was in love with her so he would be more reluctant to doing anything to the evil because it might harm Cordy.
'I love Buffy!' he realised with joy, he knew Buffy was his one true love. He did love Cordy, and she would always be special to him, but in the end it always came back to his Buffy. He sighed with relief as almost a huge weight lifted from his chest and he could breath easy again, figuratively speaking of course.
Cordelia paced the room, wincing slightly as the creature inside her moved. She was near the end but she still needed a sacrifice and for the past few days she'd tried everything, the helpless pregnant woman about to give birth seemed to get the most results, but they all either ran off to get help or were dragged away by companions. She growled slightly, cursing Calista and cursing Connor, the brats were now very much clued into everything, and it wouldn't be long before Calista had everything she needed to destroy her. A bringer stood by the door, watching her, at least it appeared to be but since it had no eyes it was a mystery if he actually was. He could have been counting imaginary sheep for all she knew. She really hated the things they were disgusting. She appreciated beauty, that was one of the reasons she'd chosen Cordelia as her host, because of her exotic beauty she would have no trouble in wooing Connor or anyone else. She appreciated the dark beauty of the body, a perfect contrast to, in her opinion, plain, pale, blond Calista. She really didn't like that girl.
'Stupid Powers and their meddling ways.' she thought to herself angrily. It was all the Powers that Be's fault; they'd created the girl for Connor, just to stop her plans. And of course the idiot hadn't a clue of how powerful she really was as a pure creation of the Powers. Cordelia really hated idiots who didn't see the full picture.
"You know pacing can't be helping us." said The First as it stepped out of the shadows in the form of Daniel Holtz. Cordelia turned to it and snarled
"Yes well it's the only thing I can do it seems. Do you realise that Calida, the little bitch, is protecting the girl with her own magic so I can't attack her with my spells."
"The Children of the Vampires, have almost no power left, Connacht, the annoying idiot that he is, refuses to let them move on so they're still there draining their own power. They are weak. How is it that you cannot penetrate it."
"Because I have to use most of my magic to sustain my new host." Cordelia stroked her belly softly. The First narrowed its eyes in anger as it suddenly stiffened.
"The girl has reached a crucial time, her magic is being unlocked." Cordelia's eyes went wild,
"No, no, not now, I'm so close, I just need one sacrifice!"
"Calm down. The power is within her but the true key to it will come from an outer source, one that I think we should take and I shall have some fun with, before eliminating." The face of Holtz smiled sadistically. Cordelia wrinkled her nose as she looked it up and down.
"Why do you pretend to be that old wrinkle?"
"Because I have appeared twice now, impersonating Daniel Holtz, the first time was to attempt to distract them by making them suspicious of Connor, because he has no destiny and a choice of whether he's good or evil, but that didn't work thanks, once again, to Connacht and his little story. The second was only a short time ago, and I managed to scare the girl quite badly. It seems she fears Holtz as much as she cares for him. I believe the same could be said for the boy." Cordelia shrugged her shoulders, uninterested. The First got stern again and snapped, "You'd better get your little virgin soon, or else the girl will get rid of you and I won't be able to stop it." and it vanished. Cordelia bit her lip as she looked out the window, desperate for someone to walk by.
Wow, things a slowly heating up (grins). What'll happen next?
Night's Darkness
