Balance chp 16: Dead weight
Everybody looked around in sudden panic as they saw she was right, Connor was gone. Angel swore badly as he remembered
"They hit him over the head, knocking him out, I tried to get to him but got distracted by Dawn's screams, they must have gotten him out while no one was looking."
"Thanks for stating the bloody obvious Peaches." sneered Spike, but his face was worried.
"Oh that's not good." stated Connacht looking worried. There was a sudden movement, a yelp of surprise and a crash as Calista lunged at him and grabbed him, pinning him to the wall. Connacht's eyes were massive, "Ok this should not be happening." He stated as Calista glared at him,
"Where is he?" she snarled.
"How should I-" His response was cut off as she slammed him in to the wall again.
"You set all of this up, you said so. Everything that happens to humanity is planned by you, so I'll ask you again, where is Connor?" Connacht's eyes widened even more.
"Oh boy, no, no, you don't understand I don't-" she slammed him again, harder against the wall. "Please don't do that!"
"Tell me where he is and I won't!" she snapped
"I can't because I haven't a clue!" shouted Connacht, he seemed very nervous, "L-look, maybe beginners wasn't the right word for us, maybe a b-better word would have been idea people."
"What?" Calista looked ready to kill. Connacht started speaking quickly, but he couldn't help but stammer slightly,
"We, we don't always know how things will happen, we just give something with potential but circumstances influence how it occurs."
"What are you talking about?" she hissed.
"W-well, uh, f-for instance, The Slayer! We created the idea of the slayer, we g-gave the idea to the humans, b-but we had no idea how they would bring it about."
"So how did they do it?" asked Buffy softly. Connacht looked over Calista's shoulder, with regret in his eyes.
"They chose one girl, they tied her to the earth both literally and metaphorically and…" he closed his eyes, "they violated her by forcing a demon's spirit, heart, strength, essence, into her. She was given no choice." Everyone was horrified by this. Connacht's voice softened, his eyes opening, "If we'd, if we'd know they'd do that, then we might never have created the Slayer, or tried to set it up in conjunction with another occurrence. What we did, we gave the humans chances, but it always depended on everything, where, when, the people around, the culture, everything. I mean, do you honestly think if we'd known Hitler would become a freaking conqueror and mass murderer that we would have created him."
"You created Hitler!" exclaimed Gunn, his mouth open in shock.
"Well we gave Germany, should it ever fall on seriously bad times, a person to get it together, but if we'd known he'd be the evilest and most twisted person to ever live then we'd never have done it. But it's not our fault, it's humans, and their own selfishness, or desires or whatever, like I said it depends."
"So you knew that Germany would be the cause of WW1."
"No, no, no! We rarely know when, where or in what form these kinds of things will come in, they're just helpers, and safety measures and they keep you going, if you didn't have them you'd have died out years ago!"
"While this is all very fascinating, this isn't helping us find Connor!" snapped Calista, slamming Connacht into the wall for the fourth time.
"You know that really does hurt!" he snapped. Calista just glared. "Look I have no idea where he is, I could possibly try to find him for you but that's it! I can't get him out or anything and I don't just know these things." Calista opened her mouth to speak again but all that came out was a sudden groan as she doubled over in pain, curling around her stomach.
"Calista? What's wrong? Is it contractions?"
"No, it's something else." she whispered, feeling awful. "The babies have stopped kicking, they aren't moving at all." They helped her to the couch. Connacht watched her for a moment with worry then, he came over, putting his hand on her stomach, closing his eyes. He then pulled away,
"I was afraid of this." he whispered.
"Afraid of what? What's wrong?" asked Fred as she sat beside the girl. Connacht sighed softly,
"We're running out of time." The words were soft but they rang clear.
"What do you mean, running out of time." asked Angel feeling a low anger building up in his gut. Connacht ignored him instead he tried to sit on the table in front of Calista. Tried being the main word here, as he fell right through it. Uttering a few choice words, he crouched down staring at Calista intently.
"Calista I need you to listen to me very carefully, ok?" she nodded wincing slightly. "Calista there is something about your power that you need to know. If you don't use it then it'll kill you and the babies." Calista looked at him with horror. "The power has been building up with each passing moment, and it can only be used once in one big showdown. If you don't release it, when you give birth the power will… for lack of a better word, overload and explode but by then the babies will already be dead, it's draining their life force" Calista stared at him for a few silent seconds, then abruptly slapped him across the face
"HOW DARE YOU!" she screamed, "HOW DARE YOU PUT MY BABIES IN DANGER TO GET ME TO COOPERATE!" She made to hit him again but he ducked back and said
"It wasn't our idea, hell we never decided to create our own reincarnations! It was the Powers, they saw what was happening among them… took them long enough, and set things up, you… well they sorta just created you with their own power, they knew they couldn't create two children of vampires so they created you with the power inside you, and sent you to Qour-Toth where they knew the rouge Power had decided to send Connor to have the timing right. The rogue had taken full advantage of Connor's creation but it didn't have a hand in it at all."
"So basically everything surrounding Calista was created to stop this rogue, she was never created to just live?" asked Buffy angrily
"She was just seen as a tool to fix their… broken motor if you will." Connacht looked fairly sick at the statement. He sighed as he crouched back down in front of Calista. "Calista? I need you to listen and I need you to think." Calista nodded, "Calista, why do you think you've only been given the chance to destroy one or the other, not both?"
"Because the powers didn't feel like The First was their problem?" asked Gunn.
"Well for them yes but this is much bigger then the Powers, this is something that no one, no matter how hard they try, can change, something that was needed for everything to be possible. Calista you know what this is, just think." Calista's face was crumpled as she fought back tears of despair. "What does the world need? What does the universe need to keep going? What does every person on this planet need to live a full life?" Calista started to shake her head then stopped mid-shake and her eyes lit up with a realisation. She whispered so soft they barely caught it,
"Balance." Connacht clapped his hands in pure relief.
"Yes, oh thank you! You got it Calista!" he cried. Calista rose and began to pace, thinking out loud,
"Everyone needs a balance in their lives, challenges to match the relief. The world needs a balance of good and evil… because one cannot exist without the other, without good, there is no evil, but without evil there is no good. Like there is no darkness if there is not light to show it." Connacht whooped in joy
"Yes she's got it now, oh yes, c'mon Calista!"
"I can't destroy both because that would destroy the balance, that's it! That's the reason! The world's off on the scale, I've got to set it right!" she exclaimed. She somehow looked terrified and giddy at once. Connacht grinned in pure delight as he jumped up to his feet. The others were starting to understand what was going on and were talking excitedly about it now. "I can't." They all froze in mid word or movement, and looked at her. "I can't do this I can't, it's, it's too much." Angel went up to her and took her hand giving it a squeeze.
"You can do this Calista, you've already done so much, and this one last thing will be the end of it all. You survived Qour-Toth, you survived being alone in a world that was cold and uncaring, all the while protecting two beautiful souls, and through it all you didn't give up. If you can do that, you can do anything." She began to cry.
"I can't do this Angel. Not without my Steven. I need him with me for this, like he promised he would be." Angel felt his heart break for her.
"You can do this, Calista, and we're all going to be there for you, all of us. I know we can't replace Connor, and no one wants to but we do care about you too." She bit her lower lip in nervousness as two tears made trails down her cheeks. She placed her hands on the bulge that was her belly and turned away slowly, looking down. Angel, for the first time, noticed that she'd always worn her hair up, either in a bun or ponytail, always tied with the same piece of material. A quick whiff told him it was leather like what Connor had been wearing when he first came through the portal. He wasn't sure why this seemed so important to him now.
Calista rubbed her belly, feeling the babies pressed against it, a near dead weight. Her babies were dying and her love was gone. At that moment she knew what it meant to be truly alone and she was terrified. She knew she had to do this, but she was terrified, what if she failed? Then the whole world was doomed and if she didn't, then she and the babies would die and then the whole world was doomed.
'Damned if you do, damned if you don't.' She finally got what that meant. She'd only heard it once and hadn't understood, but now she did. She didn't have any real choice. She sighed and looked at looked at her Steven's father.
"Can I just have a few minutes alone?"
"Sure." he answered his voice gentle and caring. She walked into the office, past everyone ignoring their stares and sat down on the seat.
A soft sigh escaped her lips sweeping through the room, caressing the books.
Angel shifted from foot to foot as the door closed behind Calista then he abruptly said
"I need some air." and walked outside. He looked over the garden, the sweet smell of the jasmine slightly soothing.
"It's tough being depended on isn't it?" Connacht came up beside him, his eyes scanning the garden, as if he'd never see such beauty like it again and wanted to print it on his memory.
"Yeah." Angel whispered as he leaned his head back to look at the sky.
"You know the stars were different back in my time. They formed different shapes, told different stories, but they're still the same stars." Angel looked at him, playing clueless,
"Am I supposed to interpret that?"
"Yes." Angel looked back up thinking hard, his mind trying to form the connections. He smiled slightly as he realised.
"Different people, different situations… but there'll always be someone who has to lead, who has to make the path. Right?" Connacht grinned at him.
"Bingo." He whispered. Angel looked back inside and murmured
"She'll be fine, she's strong. She can do it."
"Uh, no she can't." Angel's head turned so fast his neck cricked.
"WHAT?" he hissed. Connacht pulled a face as he explained.
"She was right when she said she needed Connor, without him you're all screwed." Angel stepped closer, and, despite being dead and a ghost, both of which seemed to have slipped the smaller ones mind, Connacht gulped.
"Talk. Fast."
"Ok, see, Calista needs a perfect balance within herself, her emotions have finally balanced out because she let it all out last night, her body is in a perfect state because she's pregnant, the one thing that all women wish for and allows them to feel perfection. The creation of life. But she's still not balanced enough to allow the main burst of power to engulf her, believe me I say the people in Australia will know when it happens. What she's done so far are just, no not even, the lead up. Connor is her other half, without him… well…"
"Screwed?"
"Screwed."
"So how do we find him?"
"Father with vampire blood bond and super sense of smell asks son's precarnation in locating said son?" asked Connacht blandly. Angel thought for a second
"Precarnation? Is that even a word?"
"No clue."
"Oh. Coming?" Angel strode back inside as Calista opened the door and went to the weapons cabinet. She opened it and took out a dagger, twirling it expertly in her hand. Despite her gentle features, and prominent belly she looked formidable, and cold.
"Calista what are you doing?" asked Dawn not liking the look on her face.
"My way or no deal." she said coldly, "I'm not going to keep doing what's expected of me, I'm going to do this the way I want to do it. It's either that or I won't do anything at all."
"Aw crap." muttered Connacht in Angel's ear. Angel took that as his queue.
"Calista look, Connacht and I will go looking for Con-Steven, you guys go looking for Cordelia." Calista nodded sharply and spun on her heel as she stalked out of the hotel, her body moving like a snake as it slinked along, instead of the usual waddle they were used to seeing.
"Angel…" started Buffy but Angel cut in smoothly,
"Keep her safe Buffy." She looked at him wanting to go with him but she knew her place was with Calista so she just nodded and called to the others,
"Mount up, we need to get going, Willow I want you and Wesley and Giles to stay in the back, out of the way, in case we need some magic and whatnot."
"Got it Buffy."
"Kennedy, Rona, Molly, I want you to cover them." The three slayers nodded, "Vi, I want you and Amanda to get crossbows and be our long range defence." The two went to the weapons cabinet and pulled out the weapons. Gunn grabbed his favourite axe, running one hand up the smooth handle, Fred grabbed a third crossbow and Angel grabbed his favourite sword. Xander, Anya and Dawn grabbed one of the remaining weapons each. They were all ready now. Then they realised something,
"Uh Calista, wait up!" called Buffy running outside to catch up with the long gone girl. Xander looked at Angel and said,
"Good luck with the search and rescue Deadboy." as he ran off after the others.
"Yeah thanks." Angel looked at Connacht who looked worried again. "I'm beginning to hate that look on your face."
"Same, but things just upped on the badness level."
"I'm afraid to ask, but why?"
"Cause Calista is going to fight Cordelia for all the wrong reasons. She's doing it in anger, not love of her kids and Connor and of the world."
"But that's insane how can she not feel that way?"
"Hey I don't make the rules, I just enforce them." Connacht took on a look of horror, "Did I really just say that?"
"Yes."
"Oh dear God I've become my father!" Angel frowned in confusion, "He may have been evil, and I may have hated his guts, but he was very evil-law abiding, something I guess he stuck on me." He shuddered, then whined, "Calida is the responsible one, not me!"
"As fascinating as this is how do I find my son?"
"Oh, that's the easy part, just close your eyes and focus on your bond with him, don't you remember what Lorne said the day after Connor was born? He's deeply connected to you. If you just focus on Connor and nothing else, you'll be able to find him, no matter where he is." Angel sighed and closed his eyes. He let all his most vivid images of Connor float around his head. He saw baby Connor sleeping, baby Connor crying, he saw older Connor attacking and older Connor playing. He saw his son's eyes, so like his mothers, full of age, full of sadness and confusion, but there was still a spark, something which couldn't be put out. He saw Connor as he stared at Calista, completely spellbound by her even when she didn't notice. Suddenly he felt something tugging at him, pulling at him with urgency. Angel followed it quickly, Connacht right on his heels. He was pulled down the street, taking a sharp left. He had no real idea where he was going, but he decided to let Connacht worry about that, he just concentrated on his son.
If anyone's offended by the Hitler thing I apologise, but I couldn't really think of any other examples, at least ones that were world famous. Sorry again.
Night's Darkness
