And as the rain drips acidic questions around me
I block out the sight of the powers that be
And duck away into the darkness, times up
I wind up in a rusted world with eyes shut
So tight that it blurs into the world of pretend
And the eyes ease open and it's dark again
~ Linkin Park
Chapter 3: The World of Pretend
"Incoming Seekers," I whisper.
Tess and I dart back into the darkness.
Ten seconds later a squadron floats down the hall.
"That makes forty so far," Tess says, "Khivar has completely lost it."
"He must be worried about a rescue attempt. Maybe it would be wiser to wait."
"You need answers, and you need them now. We'll get into the mainframe, find the depositors, and then leave. It's all very simple."
I chew on my bottom lip. It's far from simple. One side of me wants to risk it. Like a siren's call, the need for knowledge beckons me. Yet, I can't forget the jagged cliffs. The depositors know all, but share very little. They see history as dangerous, and even illogical. Its unbreakable bounds a trap to all that pursue it. This, they argue, explains Khivar's real reason for being here. Not to protect his throne but because the history of vengeance binds him.
Then there's the more pressing problem.
Tess' health.
"Warping so many people could make you sick."
Her blue eyes flare. "I can handle it. Now let's go," she pulls me out from our hiding place.
A high screech sounds. We both freeze.
A large seeker hovers over our heads. Its yellow eyes already beginning the scan.
"Good evening Lady Ava and other," its grainy voice sounds.
Other. My body tenses. How I hate that name. It makes me sound like some horrible mistake.
" I'm Tess and she has a name why don't you start using it."
"A perfectly affable name," the seeker replies. "But neither human nor antarian, neither born nor made, neither friend nor foe, our program classifies her simply as other."
If you only knew the half of it, little robot. I want to see Khivar crushed, smashed, butchered, burn, pick your own destructive adjective if you'd like. How other is that?
"Where would you be going so late my Lady Ava and other?"
Tess slaps her forehead in frustration. .
"Well, mom we're both sneaking out to tepee a house and then we're planning to get wasted. "
"Wasted does not compute."
I glare at the floating figure. It would be nice not to have to justify ourselves to a machine. But Tess' sniping could certainly raise suspicions. We need to play nice. "The Lady Tess and I are going to the temple."
"The Lady Ava you mean."
"Whatever." Names, Names. It would so much easier if they would stick to one.
"Well, I'm sorry other but Khivar has called a special counsel meeting. Zan has been dictated in the sector."
Tess and my eyes meet. Well, if that's not an interesting piece of information. We both want out of Khivar's little house of horrors, and Zan is our best bet.
"How close is he?" Tess asks.
"My Lady that is all I know, but Khivar has requested the other."
"Well Lady Tess, we must save our journey to the Temple for another time."
"I was thinking I might just go for a little awhile. Light a couple of candles."
Tess is like a pit bull.
"No, Lady Ava you can't go alone. There all ill forces out tonight."
"Yeah, ill forces," I mimic.
"Then who's going to be escorting you to the meeting," she counters.
Damn.
"I will," Silas' voice sounds as his body materializes from the darkness.
Hello, Karma it's me. Could you please send a little more positive energy my way?
His arm immediately wraps around my waist. Like a chain, it holds me to him.
"You don't have to worry about it Ava, I will take care of her. Right?"
I don't answer. I'm too busy trying to pry his fingers apart.
"Honey."
He just didn't call me honey did he?
"Honey."
Yikes, there's it is again. "Tess I'll be fine. I'll see you later."
"If you say so," she gives me a concerned glance.
Before Tess and the seeker even pass the next corridor, Silas latches on to my neck. Like a vampire, his teeth descend on my flesh.
"I just can't get enough of you."
Well, the feeling is not mutual.
"And to think when I capture Zan, I will have Khivar's blessing and," his hand travels down to my abdomen.
I push him away, "we're going to be late to the meeting,"
His arms grab me and shove me against the wall. "I think you have forgotten your position here. As an abomination no man or antarian will ever want you." Silas' fingers dig deeper into my skin. "If it wasn't for your unique prophetic abilities I wouldn't even be interested. I will take your obstinacy up to a point, but do not overstep your boundaries with me. We will be bonded, your visions will become my property, and there will be a child."
Sometimes, I can't believe his stupidity. He has no clue in his place in this. That the moment I conceive, he will be killed. I'm Khivar's toy not his.
"Look at me." Malice dances in his icy eyes. "Do I make myself clear?"
I lower my head. "Crystal."
He lets go of me. "I can make you happy if you'd just stop making me hurt you."
Or if you would drop dead.
"We're late."
I follow his figure ten spaces behind. The proper positioning for a taken antarian woman.
No man or antarian will ever want you.
Even if he doesn't love me, Silas still knows how to hurt me. I try to ignore it. Tuck the pain inside of me. Yet everywhere I turn, the awful truth stares back. I don't belong anywhere, and I don't belong with anyone. While fibers deep inside whisper of some connection, the sounds are growing fainter. If someone had cared for me, he would have come.
I glance up at the guards as we pass through the mainframe. He wouldn't have left me here in this prison. Where the walls seem to be closing in on me with everything dawning day. He would have come. Why hadn't someone come?
Red sensors scan my body looking for weapons. If only I had a bomb, I could end it all in one dramatic finale. I push my emotions down. Wallowing will get me no where.
We move into a glass corridor. From the other side of the partion, a blue light shines. The air around me crackles. The depositors are near.
I stop and place my hands on the glass.
With my mind, I try to reach out.
Please, tell me who I am?
Silas yanks me away from the glass. "What is wrong with you?" he barks.
A rumble sounds as two large metal doors part to reveal Larek. Deep creases line his forehead. He's definitely pissed.
"You're late," he says as we enter.
"It was her fault," Silas answers.
Larek's face softens, " Khivar wants you now Silas. I need to talk to the Oracle in private."
Silas glares at him then retreats.
"You ok?" he asks.
My body flinches. I don't want his pity anymore. It can't help me. I run my fingers over one of the numerous computer keyboards. A crisp picture of the desert appears. Beside me, twelve technicians huddle over their consoles. Every five minutes a low whistle sounds, red and green lights blink. Paper spits out printers; the latest data from the seekers and H&K's
So utterly efficient. Twelve beings to control millions.
"I'm never going to get away from here am I?"
"I don't know," Larek replies. "We all have roles we have to play in life, and this one is yours."
I whip around to face him. If anyone, he would tell me. Throw me something to grasp on to.
"You've always been honest with me, and I'm grateful. But you have to tell me who was I before I started to play this role? I need to know."
"I don't know."
"Can you help me?"
His forehead wrinkles even more. "That would be a disloyal act to my emperor," he finally says.
I strike the delete button hard. "Then don't ask me if I'm O.K.," I breeze past him ignoring his pained expression.
Taking my seat, I wait.
Wait for the same question that has been the one constant in my life.
Khivar looks up from the glow spider lying in his palm . "Have you discovered Zan?"
"No."
A frown forms on his lips.
My hands shake.
I know that expression.
He places the spider on the table.
A bright light glows from its thorax then dims.
Balling up his fist, he crushes the creature. "Things that don't fulfill their purpose get replaced," he states.
I stare at the iridescent spot. "Something could come at anytime."
"That it could, but will it?"
"Sir we better start," Larek interrupts.
Khivar motions him to proceed.
I wrap my cloak tighter around me. My eyes never leave the spider's crushed remains.
