Title: Not Everybody Likes You
Author: irmak
Pairing/Character: Lamb/Veronica
Word Count: 1408 (total 2755)
Rating: PG-13 (for now)
Summary: What if Lamb had saved Veronica from the fire?
Spoiler: Season 1

Your summer does not go as well as you hoped it would. You had every right to expect more, after all, you were safe and sound and you had found Lilly's murderer. Of course you ruined just a few lives and relationships along the way. You know, the type of achievements that really make a year complete. And yet, you spent your summer hiding. From Duncan, because he had believed that if he popped up everywhere you went, you would start liking him again. You hid from Logan, because you just don't want to fight with him anymore and the more you hold yourself back, the more vicious he gets. You want to talk to him, fix him, touch his broken face, hold him in your arms like you did many times before, but instead, you just look him in the eyes for a second and then leave. Now is not the right time, you think. This is your banter now. And he hates it. He's still so madly in love with you, that he hates you. This is exactly how fucked up your relationship is, and you just can't make it better.

You kinda hide from your father, too. He likes to ask way to many questions. It all starts with a small 'how are you today' and suddenly shifts to 'why are you keeping everything all inside, Veronica?' You know he has every right to know, that he's just worried about his daughter's mental health, but you don't see the good in describing to him the moment you thought you'd die. You can't even describe that to yourself. But you dream about it, a lot. You fight and kick and scream, but all you can hear is fire, all you can feel is heat. You feel the same way you felt in that freezer, you think that this is the end, and then he opens the door and lifts you out. This turned to be the worst part of your dream, because, every night, you wake up wet with sweat, tears in your eyes, his name on your lips. And it's not going away.

So you hide from him, too. You did your job, visited him more than you ought to have. You both didn't know how to handle this unholy alliance, but you managed to survive. But it was only for the time being. You can't push any further. You wonder if you even want to, but you don't know the answer yet.

You just spend the rest of your summer hiding. But school starts tomorrow. It's finally show time and not everyone at that school likes you, Veronica Mars.

---

You think that maybe you're doomed, maybe your life is never suppose to be right on track, maybe God loves to smack you in the face again and again. Whatever it is, you really don't think you deserve all of it. You stand by the cliff, looking down at the remains of the bus, and the world slips from up under your feet. Weevil is there to catch you, thankfully. You just look down and try to see... him. That maybe he's alive and he's trying not to drown. That damn green jacket, you think that he shouldn't have worn it. It would get so heavy, as the sea water soaked through it to his skin, and it would help drag him down to the bottom. You wanna jump down to the bottom, so that you can catch up with him, but you know that if he would stop you he could.

"Gees, Ronnie. The sea look doesn't really work for you. Oh be sure to say hi to Weevs for me. My word, he really looks jealous over all this emotion you are showing over me. Well, that makes sense. We always did like to share our blonde pain in the asses."

But Weevil is holding you so tight that you can't move an inch. You wonder whether he knows what you're thinking. You slowly start to hear the sirens, but you are still looking down. Finally when the police arrive, your eyes leave the sea and you look for him.

Your eyes meet his, and then it's all black.

---

You sit alone in the interrogation room until he finally comes inside. He sits right across from you, yet you don't raise your eyes from the table. After all, you still wake up with his name on your lips. After lossing Logan so tragically, you thought that would change. You loved Logan, you still love him. You wasted your chance, you obviously send him to his death. If you had stopped running and made up with him, he would have been with you, not on that bus. You were the one that had aided in ruining his life and when you finally had the chance to be the one good thing in his life, you ran and left him completely alone.

Your heart is finally broken into little pieces, and yet you still wake up whispering his name. The silence goes on, but you won't be the one who breaks it.

"So, I guess you know why you're here. You wanna tell me about it?" He isn't Sheriff right now, he's the Don that you met in the hospital. You wanna slap him for showing you that side right now, when he knows you are hurting so bad you can't fully breath.

When you don't answer, he continues. "What can you tell me about Logan's relationship with this man?" He shows you a file of a man you have never seen before. "Mr David "Curly" Moran. I'm guessing that you've never seen him before in your life?"

You manage a low no, but that must be enough for him right now.

"It seems that Curly had Logan's name on him."

Now you're interested. "On him?" He shows you another file and when you open it, you see a photograph close-up to a man's palm on which is written 'Logan Echolls'. Tears escape from your eyes. Maybe this whole bus crash was meant for Logan. You feel the internal guilty monologe start back up again. You could have stopped him. You could have helped him. You could have stopped running scared. You could have stopped being the cold heartless bitch, that you have been trying to be, and just been there for him.

You can feel his eyes on you, again. "How are you, Veronica?"

Your father, Wallace, Mac, and even Alicia had all asked you this, But the only one you are able to honestly answer is Don Lamb. As your vision gets blurry, you can hear yourself sobbing. "It's just been a really bad year."

---

You find yourself standing here and all you can think of is the past. This past summer, they were just worried about you. They wanted you to talk about what happened, to share your emotions and fears. But now, everybody just watches you from a certain distance. They don't know what to or how to say anything without their voices shattering. This drives you mad. You see the pity in their eyes, their lips whispering "Poor girl, she's been through a lot." They expect you to breakdown, to cry your eyes out. So when you don't collapse, they don't believe your feelings are genuine. You're either hiding them or you never really cared.

They also don't get how you can still ask questions about the crash. They're expecting you to close your eyes and blame the innocent driver, just because they're doing that. You have to play the goddamn three monkeys or else you're marked as crazy, obsessed, or even worse, your mother's daughter.

Your father has his own issues. If he heard that you're still investigating the bus crash, he'd be devastated. He'd probably try to ground you, even though he knew that it wasn't a solution. Wallace has taken off with his father and an e-mail BFF relationship isn't the same thing. Duncan is back with Meg, who left for the summer and returned with a 5 times bigger belly. You heard that if they didn't get married, Meg's parents would kill them both. Mac is dating Beaver and their cuteness is slowly giving you diabeties. You think, it could have been you. It should have been you. You would have been Neptune's very own Bonnie and Clyde. Logan and you had so many unfinished memories, an unfinished life. No one is around for you anymore. You can call them, talk to them, smile at them, but after a few hours, you see the desperation in their eyes. They just want to return back to their 'normal' lives. You had forgot the meaning of that a long time ago.

So you're standing here and you're thinking about the way you stood at Shelly's door before you joined the party that you weren't invited to. You just wanted to show everyone that you were stronger than all of them, that you didn't need anyone else. But this time, you need someone. So you knock the door and walk in without waiting for an answer.

"I need your help. I have to find who did this to Logan. Help me, Don, please, help me."

---