As usual I took forever, but I had a massive inner debate about the AngelBuffySpike triangle issue. It'll be decided in this chapter, sorry to anyone who's disappointed, I'm sure you already know who she chooses.


Balance chp 25: Decisions decided

Calista stepped out of the shower grabbing a towel and wrapping it around herself. She picked up a smaller one and began to dry her hair, it was now hanging past her waist, like a curtain, the water weighed it down. She needed to cut it soon. She wondered if maybe she could get it done by a professional instead of just doing it herself. She rummaged through the cabinet behind the mirror, above the sink and found a comb. She sat down on the edge of the bathtub and slowly began to comb her hair through. She felt her skin begin to tingle and tighten as the water dried on it. She took her time, once it was all untangled she began to plait it. She started at her right temple and plaited half of her hair. Then she did the same on the left side of her head. She then twisted the two plaits around the back of her head. She found a few clips and secured the plaits in place. She then took out a bottle of body lotion and smoothed it into her skin which got very dry after a shower, particularly around her elbows. Now done she stepped back into the bedroom where Connor was sitting on the bed reading a book. He looked up at her and smiled at her brightly. She returned the smile and pulled out some clean clothes and dropped the towel. Connor emitted a kind of squeak which made her look at him curiously. He was staring at her with massive eyes. She raised an eyebrow at him then turned back and continued to change into her underwear. She looked out the window and started in surprise.

"Connor, why is it so dark?"

"Hmm?" Connor sounded like he was in a slight daze. She turned back to him frowning in confusion. He shook his head slightly and said "Oh because it's night Calista."

"Night?" she exclaimed in shock, "You let me sleep all day?"

"Uh yes?" Connor shrugged, "You were really tired Calista, you needed to rest." She stuck out her lower lip in a thoughtful way and walked over to him. He set the book down as she sat on his lap. She curled one arm around his shoulders and stroked his face softly with her fingertips. He lean into the touch, his eyelids drooping slightly as he relaxed. She kissed him sweetly and he sighed in utter contentment. She looked at him and giggled

"You look like the cat that got all the cream in the world." Connor smiled and touched her belly.

"I did." he answered simply.

"Mmm, my own personal romantic poet." She teased, then she stood up again and got her night dress. She picked at it critically and "I think I'll need to get some new clothes very soon. Maybe tomorrow. I was thinking Cordy would help me, I know she's very good at fashion and nice clothes. She's a beautiful woman." Connor nodded in agreement, a strange smile coming onto his features. She yawned widely, suddenly feeling very tired. He held out his hand and, as she took it, pulled her back to the bed and scooted over so she could get in.

"Sleep, you can do whatever you want tomorrow."

"Even eat enough ice-cream for three people?" she smiled

"Even that."

"What if I decided to go out fighting vampires?"

"Erm, maybe not everything."


Buffy gripped the mug between her hands, letting it warm them. She sipped the hot chocolate slowly and her eyes glazed over as she thought. What was she going to do? Spike or Angel? Who to choose?

'Why does this have to be so hard?' she moaned inwardly. Why did it? Why couldn't it be simple and easy? She wanted one of the loves she carried in her heart to disappear to make it easy. One guy, one girl, love swoops in and, hey presto, they get all lovey dovey. But noooo, not for Slayer girl, oh no, she has to fall in love with two vampires and they have to love her back. Hell one got a soul for her, and another left her because they loved her so much. She sighed irritably, wishing someone else could make these decisions for her, or even better, if she had a decision making machine then things would be brilliant. She pouted, suddenly feeling very jealous of the teenage couple upstairs, they were perfect, they were in love they were together, they were having children together!

'It's not fair!' she mentally wailed. Then she took in a deep breath, and rationalised. On the one hand she had Spike. He was tall, handsome, and a vampire with a soul. Then there was Angel, he was tall, handsome and a vampire with a soul. Buffy was tempted to scream, they really didn't make this easy, did they? Ok, Spike had the lovely accent, and his blue eyes were sharp and cunning, when he fought he moved with a cat-like fluidity and he was devoted to her. He went and earned his soul for her for god's sake! But Angel… Angel was Angel, with his moodiness and sexy sneer, his eyes with their smouldering intensity, his broad torso. He wasn't devoted to her like Spike was, not an almost obsessive love, but a fiery hungry love, yet he had a life away from her. He had a son! Hell, he had two grandchildren on the way! Maybe that was what she found appealing about him. His world wasn't all about her, yet he was still her soulmate, right? Spike could be suffocating with his love. It wasn't that she didn't appreciate the way he'd endured so much, and of course he'd been there for her for so much of her struggles. He'd been the one she'd turned to in struggling from her resurrection. He'd let her take advantage of his love and need for her. But Angel… Angel was… Angel was a part of her, part of her very soul. She couldn't ignore that, especially after seeing Connor and Calista and hearing Connacht's words. She closed her eyes and willed herself to bring the image of the man she chose to the front of her mind. She concentrated hard and then slowly he formed before her mind's eye. He smiled at her and she smiled back, then opened her eyes and whispered to the silent lobby.

"Angel."


Like it? Upset that Angel's the chosen one? Well it wouldn't make much sense if I didn't pick him, the whole soul mate thing that's going on right? Well actually- (author is suddenly attacked by angry muses, not wanting her to say anymore) Help!

Night's Darkness