A/N – Hi, everyone. I'm sorry for the delay, but here's the next chapter. Thank you all so much for the reviews and alerts and for reading my story. I appreciate all of your support so much. I hope you enjoy this chapter and I would love any review you can leave me. Thanks.
Disclaimer – I don't own Glee.
Kurt's reply to Rachel's question was almost immediate. She was removing the lid from the box Shelby had given her when her phone chimed and she saw a "Yes, of course" from Kurt. Rachel had to pause for a second because she wasn't exactly sure how to say it. How did one go about giving out new discovered and highly sensitive family secrets? She could just say it and take it from there. That seemed like the best course to take. Then again, she might need to give him a little bit of an explanation to lead up to that. Rachel picked up her phone and started to type.
"Last week I discovered that"
Her phone started to ring and it startled her into hitting send early. As the message was sent to Kurt, her screen cut away from the text she was writing. Rachel smiled when she saw Shelby's name pop up.
"Hello," Rachel answered the phone with a smile.
"Hi," Shelby said. "Did you make it home ok?"
"Yeah, we got home about ten minutes ago," Rachel said.
"That's good," Shelby said.
"Yeah," Rachel nodded absently. She moved the box off her lap and sat up a little straighter. "Mom, I have a question."
"Ok," Shelby said. She was lounging at home because there wasn't a show on Mondays and she loved having the day off. "What's up?" She was thinking about going out later though.
Rachel heard the chime in her ear telling her that she had received another message. It was no doubt Kurt wanting to know just what she discovered.
"Did you know that there are blogs with pictures of you and me and people were wondering who I am," Rachel said.
"What?" Shelby asked. She hadn't heard anything about this. She knew there were people taking pictures, but her publicist Meredith usually alerted her to any serious stories or gossip written about her. Most things were fluff or stupid and didn't require a response, but she can't believe that Meredith hadn't contacted her. If that was out there, Shelby assumed the woman would be really curious if nothing else.
"Kurt said that people are talking about how you took me backstage and-"
"Who's Kurt?" Shelby asked.
"A boy I go to school with," Rachel answered. "He's in my glee club. Remember I told you about how we won Sectionals?"
"Yeah, I remember," Shelby said.
"Anyway, he wants to know how I got to meet you and why I went backstage," Rachel continued.
"What did you tell him?" Shelby asked.
"Nothing yet," Rachel said. "You called while we were texting."
"What would you have told him if I hadn't called and interrupted?" Shelby asked.
"Umm… I was going to tell him the truth," Rachel said really quickly and it took Shelby a few seconds to get the words sorted out in her brain. "I didn't think that it would matter because he doesn't know anyone so who could he tell?"
Shelby took off her glasses and leaned her head back on her couch while covering her eyes with her free hand. Who could he tell? The internet, that's who. One anonymous post on a message board or twitter and it would spread like wildfire.
"Rachel," Shelby said, "we talked about this. Remember?"
"Yeah, but that was when we were surrounded by more important people in New York," Rachel said. "Lima's not the same." There was silence for a few moments before Rachel asked, "Should I not tell him?"
Shelby sighed said, "Honey, listen. I'm not going to tell you who you can and can't tell. I know this is very important for you. It is for me as well. And I'm proud to call you my daughter. So if you have a friend you want to tell and you trust him with this then go ahead and tell him. But I'm asking you to please let me know when you do. But you have to understand that this won't go away once it's out. And it's going to come with a lot of press that I'm afraid that you're not ready for. And remember that it also affects your fathers and will shove them into the spotlight. Do you understand?"
"Yes, ma'am," Rachel said softly and Shelby bristled at being called ma'am. "I won't tell him." She deflated. She was excited to get to share something like that. It was something that she knew Kurt would actually be interested in and maybe it would lead to a friendship between the two.
"Ok," Shelby smiled. "Let's just give it a little time, alright? I need to talk to certain people and we can work it all so that I can make an official announcement and that way we can control it. But everyone has to be onboard. Your dads have to agree."
"I understand," Rachel said. Her phone chimed again in her ear.
"Rach, laundry," LeRoy said as he poked his head into the room.
"Ok, Daddy," Rachel said and indicated she was on the phone. Her father wasn't all that sympathetic to her excuse. He gestured for her to get moving before leaving the room.
"Are you ok, sweetheart?" Shelby asked.
"I'm fine," Rachel said. "When will I see you again?"
"Soon, baby," Shelby assured her. "I promise that we will work this out for you. You're the most important person in this whole situation and everything will be ok."
"But I just found you and then I had to leave," Rachel said as tears welled in her eyes.
"But you've still got me," Shelby said. "I'm not going anywhere. We have plenty of time to spend together."
"I know," Rachel said. "I just miss you."
"I miss you too," Shelby said. "And you can call me day or night. If I'm onstage I'll call you as soon as I'm done."
That got a smile out of Rachel as she pictured her mother on stage. "You're so great out there on the stage."
"Thank you," Shelby said with sincerity though she wanted to roll her eyes. She wondered how long it would be before Rachel fully transitioned out of the fan mode. "Now you better get going. Tell your dads I said hello."
"I will," Rachel said. "I love you."
"I love you too," Shelby told her.
Shelby hung up the phone and dropped it down to the couch for a second and then immediately picked it back up. She quickly found the number she wanted and dialed.
"Meredith," Shelby said when her publicist answered. "We need to talk."
Rachel opened her text messages again when she ended the call with her mother.
"Discovered what?" was the first text from Kurt. And then, "Rachel?"
"I discovered that I couldn't get tickets to see Wounded Heart," Rachel wrote after thinking for a minute. "It was sold out because it's so popular."
"Duh," Kurt replied.
"But I wanted to see Shelby Corcoran anyway because she's my favorite and is so amazing," Rachel continued, "so I went to the stage door and waited for her to come out. I got to talk to her a little bit and told her my story and how I was there for my birthday and couldn't get tickets. I guess she was taken with me or something because she let me go backstage and then got tickets for me and my dads." She hoped that sounded plausible.
The response wasn't as fast this time and once again Rachel picked up the box Shelby had given her and moved it to her lap. She was picking up the note Shelby had put on top to explain what it was but she didn't even get to unfold it because her phone chimed again.
"You got to meet Shelby Corcoran?" Kurt asked. "Just like that? And see the show? How are you so lucky? Did you blackmail her or something?"
"No I didn't blackmail her!" Rachel wrote back in a huff. "She just thought I was nice and I explained what a huge fan I am and she said that since it was my birthday weekend and I had come all that way, I should get to see the show. She was so incredible."
"Of course she was," Kurt replied, the texts coming quicker now. "I can't believe all of that happened. Do you have pictures? You must have pictures. Send me one please." He wasn't accusing her of lying; he genuinely excited.
Rachel opened her pictures folder on her phone before it occurred to her that she and Shelby had never taken a picture together. In fact, the only picture Rachel had of the woman was from the night in her house when she asked her mom to hold her Tony award and she couldn't send that one to Kurt.
"All the pictures I have are on my dad's phone," Rachel wrote back. "I will get him to send me some and then I will show you."
"Seriously?" Kurt asked. "I figured you'd have about a thousand stalker pictures of while you were waiting at the stage door."
"I did not stalk her!" Rachel defended. "I simply planned to be there at the same time she was."
"Whatever," Kurt said. "What was she like?"
"She was so nice and so sweet and so perfect," Rachel gushed.
"Did you get an autograph?" Kurt asked.
"Yes," Rachel typed. "She signed the playbill. Allison Young did too. I met her backstage too."
"Are you serious? She's fantastic."
"I know," Rachel said. She left off the part about Allison Young inviting her out.
"I'm so jealous," Kurt pouted. "You'll have to tell me all about in school tomorrow. I've got to go. My dad and I are about to have dinner."
"Ok," Rachel said. "I'll see you tomorrow."
Rachel set her phone off to the side and a small smile played on her lips. It was nice to have a real conversation with a peer who was actually interested in what she had to say. After a moment her attention once again turned to the box that Shelby had given her. She reached for the note, but was stepped when LeRoy came into her room and gave her a stern expression.
"Rachel, unpack. Laundry. Now," the father said.
"I was talking to Shelby and then Kurt," Rachel explained.
"And now you're not so let's get a move on," LeRoy said.
"In a second," Rachel said.
LeRoy knew his daughter and he knew that when she said 'in a second' she meant in about five hours. "No, now. I want to get all of this done and put away before anyone goes to bed. Now come on, please."
Rachel dropped the still folded note back into the box and moved it off her lap once again. She sighed dramatically when she stood up and moved towards her suitcase. LeRoy resisted the urge to roll his eyes at her as he left the room. Life was just so tough.
Laundry was started and continued to go while they ate dinner. Rachel talked animatedly about their trip, but left out mention of telling anyone about Shelby. She figured that was a conversation for another time. She wasn't able to escape back to her room until after the dishes had been done, and even when she did she had a pile of laundry to hang up or fold and put away. The box on the bed sat waiting for her to get back to it. She decided to change into some pajamas before settling in to finally see what her mother had given her.
Rachel unfolded the note and read that in the box were cards and letters that Shelby had written to her over the years. She had been saving them for when she could meet Rachel and give them to her. But the mother never missed a birthday or Hanukkah or Christmas and there were other, random, cards thrown in as well. There were also letters that Shelby had written to Rachel over the years.
Rachel's hands were trembling when she picked up the first card and opened the envelope. It wasn't sealed and she easily pulled the card out. There was a picture of Santa Claus on the front and when Rachel opened it she saw 1994 written in the top right hand corner. The message declared that it was Baby's First Christmas. Rachel would have been a week old.
Merry Christmas, Rachel! It's only been four days since I saw you, but I miss you so much already. You are beautiful and perfect and I love you so much. Your mama loves you, baby.
Rachel couldn't stop the tears from swimming in her eyes. The next card was for the baby's first Hanukkah. The next thing she picked up was a letter dated February 2, 1995.
Hi, Rachel. I think about you all the time and am wondering how you're changing and growing. You must be getting so big. I've auditioned for five different things and have only received two call backs so far. But don't worry, I won't give up. I'm going to make it and one day you'll be so proud of me. I also hope that one day you'll understand all of this and why things happened the way they did. I hope you can understand why I'm not there with you right now. I wish I could be or that you could be here with me, but I know that can't be. We all just want what's best for you. You're more perfect than words could ever describe. I promise that one day I will try and explain everything to you. I just hope that you won't hate me when that time comes.
There was more in the letter about Shelby describing some of her day-to-day activities to the infant she was writing; almost as if she were keeping a journal. Shelby had been doing everything she could to feel like she was staying connected to the little girl. At the end it was signed, Love, Mom.
There were a couple of more random cards before she got to one for her first birthday. The sentiment was supposed to be excitement, but Rachel thought she detected hints of sadness in Shelby's words. She wished she could see what Rachel looked like and wanted to know if she was walking or saying any words yet. It was signed with the same, Love, Mom.
Rachel had started crying when she'd gotten to the Halloween card and the birthday card only made it worse. She was conflicted because she wanted to see every single card and letter in that box immediately, but she also wanted to wait. She wanted to keep some of them for a later time. She honestly didn't know if she could handle it all right now. Rachel carefully put the letters and cards she taken out and looked at back in the box and put the lid on it. She found a spot for it on her desk and left it there for the time being.
Rachel did her best to hide the fact that she'd been crying when she made her way down the stairs to find her fathers. Hiram was able to see her through her right away and turned off the TV when he saw her face.
"Rach?" Hiram asked, concerned.
"I don't understand," Rachel said and her face crumpled into another wave of tears.
Hiram was on his feet in an instant and he wrapped his daughter in a hug. She buried her face into his shoulder and continued to cry. LeRoy came into the room from his office and sent a questioning look at Hiram who indicated that he didn't know what was wrong yet.
"What don't you understand?" Hiram asked.
"She wan-wanted to be with me," Rachel said. "Or at least know me. And-and you said you loved her. Why wasn't I allowed to know her before now? Why didn't anybody tell me? Why couldn't she visit? I don't understand."
"Oh, sweetheart," Hiram said as he held her tighter.
The fathers stared at each other as they tried to formulate what to say. LeRoy ran his hand over his head and then let it drop back down by his side. They had actually talked about this privately because they were expecting something like this. It was only a matter of time before the high wore off and reality struck.
"Honey, I'm not sure anyone is ever going to be able to adequately explain it all to you," LeRoy said. He stepped closer and put a comforting hand on Rachel's back. "We wanted a child so badly. We wanted you so much. Shelby wanted to go back to New York City. We had the contract drawn up and it was signed before we even knew the treatment had worked and she was pregnant. I know we sound stupid, but I don't think any of us really understood the magnitude of what that meant."
Rachel pulled back from her dads so she could look at them and wiped at her eyes. "You didn't understand that she was leaving? She didn't understand that she was agreeing not to see me for eighteen years? How is that possible?"
"It is, sweetheart," Hiram said. "It took three treatments for Shelby to even become pregnant. We all fell into a routine. At first she still talked about what she was going to do when she got to New York City. It didn't occur to me until much later that she stopped talking about Broadway the closer it go to your due date."
"Why didn't you ask her to stay?" Rachel asked them.
"We had already asked so much of her," LeRoy said. "She was giving us a baby. We couldn't ask her to give up her dreams as well."
"It was always just the way it was," Hiram said. "We were all getting something out of the arrangement."
"What if she has asked to stay?" Rachel said. "What if she had changed her mind and wanted to be a part of my life? Would you have let her?" Rachel needed to know that her fathers would have said yes.
"Yeah," LeRoy said. "We would have. We would have dropped the contract and worked something out."
"Why didn't she ask?" Rachel said and her chin started to tremble with fresh tears.
"Maybe she didn't think she could ask," Hiram said. "Maybe she was too scared. She was a kid, Rachel. Her whole world had been wrapped up in trying to make it in New York."
"Not unlike someone we know," LeRoy added.
"I think she did what she thought she wanted," Hiram continued. "She did what she thought she was supposed to do."
Rachel wiped at her eyes again. She still wasn't quite sure how to process all of that information so she didn't ask anymore of her questions. The emotional upheaval of the entire weekend had been exhausting. She felt like she wanted to be mad at her dads and Shelby in this moment, but she couldn't muster up the energy to do it. She had more questions and more complaints and more everything, but she couldn't deal with it all right now.
"Shelby says I shouldn't tell anyone yet," Rachel added after a few moments of silence. "She said once word got to the press that they would have a field day with it."
"She'd probably right," LeRoy said. "We don't want you being hounded for interviews or being bothered in any way."
"She also said that you two need to agree before we tell anyone," Rachel continued.
"Do you want to tell anyone?" Hiram asked. He understood what was going on. She wanted to be able to tell people she knew her mom. He didn't even think it was about Shelby being a star, but rather that she too had this figure in her life that most other people had.
"I almost told Kurt," Rachel admitted. "He likes Broadway too and knows who Shelby is. But I didn't tell him. I'll wait like Shelby said. I don't want you guys to get hurt. I hope you're not mad at me," she added softly and looked at the ground.
"Why would we be mad?" Hiram said.
"We already told you that we weren't," LeRoy said.
"I just- I don't know how to explain it," Rachel said. "I love you so much and you're my parents and I don't want anyone to take that away. No one ever could. But I found the one person I've been wondering about my entire life. I have a mom. I don't need her in that I need another parent, but I want her so badly. I'm sorry that I want her so much."
"Rachel," LeRoy said. He stooped down to her level, which was a sight to see, and said, "We understand. We're not angry at you. It is ok to want your mom. It's ok to need her. That does not take away from your father and me. It doesn't change that you are our daughter. We are proud of you for being open and honest and so loving even when we know that there is anger brewing in there. You are doing your best to understand and though I know that you're still struggling, you're giving all of us a chance to try and explain."
"He's right, Rachel," Hiram said. "To piggyback on what your dad is saying, I want you to know that you can come to us with any of your questions or concerns about this. Please don't bottle up your feelings. Don't keep anything to yourself because you're afraid to hurt our feelings. We are right here for you as we all try and figure this out. But we all need to be honest with each other."
"I love you, dads," Rachel said and she latched onto both of them in a hug. "And I promise I won't tell anyone yet."
"Ok," Hiram said. "Let us know when you might be ready and we'll talk to Shelby and we'll all figure something out."
"Ok," Rachel agreed. It wasn't so bad, Rachel knew. She was getting to keep Shelby all to herself for now.
Rachel felt great the following day when she went to school. They only had to go to school for two days including this day before the Christmas break. The day was going by pretty quickly and Rachel was quite pleased with herself for having avoided being slushied all day. She had texted with Shelby a few times throughout the day. Shelby's first response had been shock that kids were allowed to have their phones in school. Shelby remembered when pagers were a huge deal and you had better not be caught in school with one.
Rachel hadn't brought up the box of cards and letters to her mom yet because she wanted to make sure she didn't lose it like she did with her dads the night before. She was still trying to hold onto some imaginary cool factor with her mom and she didn't need her mother to be privy to a breakdown just yet. Or ever. Rachel was trying to heed her fathers' advice to just be herself, but it wasn't always easy.
Shelby didn't mention the box to Rachel because she didn't want to pressure the girl into looking at anything yet. She wasn't sure if she was expecting some big reaction from her daughter and so she didn't know yet if she'd be disappointed if she didn't get it.
Rachel walked into the choir room with her head held high and full of confidence. This was nothing new to any of the other people in there. They were taking a bit of a break now that Sectionals was over, but Rachel wanted to start talking about Regionals; even if there were only two practices left before the break. In her head, Rachel already pictured Shelby showing up at Regionals and she wanted everything to be perfect for her mother. The routines had to be perfect. She had to be perfect.
Kurt was standing on a chair on the highest riser and looking out the window. She had no idea what he was always looking at, but she wasn't too concerned with it now. Her phone buzzed again and Rachel pulled up a text from Shelby asking her if the school day was over. Rachel told her that she was currently at glee rehearsal.
"Oh," Shelby replied through text. "Sing pretty. I'll talk to you later."
Rachel smiled and stood up and set her phone down on the chair.
"Mr. Schuester, can we start to talk about Regionals?" Rachel asked as she stepped past Mike and Finn and then onto the floor.
"Rachel, I hadn't really planned to work on that until after the break," Mr. Schue replied. "We've got plenty of time."
"I know, but…"
"Kurt tuned her out as he hopped down from the chair and sat down. He noticed Rachel's phone and picked up before it could lock out. He assumed that she her dad had sent her the pictures of Shelby and Rachel had already said that he could see them so he opened her photos folder and gaped at the first picture he saw. It was Shelby Corcoran alright but this wasn't at a stage door in at a theater. He could see the kitchen in the background. The woman was dressed casually and holding a Tony award. How did she? What? Kurt flicked to the next picture and his mouth fell even further open. It was Rachel and she was holding the Tony. Was that Shelby Corcoran's house?
"Rachel," Kurt said loudly stopped her speech about preparedness and everyone turned to look at him.
"Kurt, stop!" Rachel said hurriedly when she realized he was looking at her phone. She started to rush back up to the back row of seats.
"Are you in her house?" Kurt asked.
"Kurt," Rachel tried to stop him again. He held the phone out of her grasp when she reached for it.
"Is that her Tony?" Kurt asked. "Why are you in Shelby Cor-"
Rachel lunged at him in an attempt to get her phone back and in doing so, she knocked him out of the chair and they landed in an ungracious heap on the floor.
"Rachel!" Mr. Schue said sharply. "What is going on here?"
Rachel looked at Kurt and then to her coach and finally at the rest of the room that was staring at her like she'd lost her mind. This was not good.
A/N – I hope you all like this one. Please leave me a review if you can. Thank you so much. And I promise that I will do my very best to make sure it doesn't take as long for another chapter to come out. Thanks, guys.
