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Balance chp 32: Romance and Friendships

"So what's all this about? And before you say a thing if you are going to try to convince me to stay then I'll leave. With a goodie bag." Angel smiled and shook his head.

"I won't try to convince you to stay, I know when you've made your mind up there's no changing it."

"Good." Buffy smirked triumphantly. Angel once again noted that she looked beautiful. Her hair was in a bun with Chinese hair sticks in it, and her clothes were perfect on her slim form. "So if that wasn't the reason then what was?"

"I just wanted to talk." He slid his hand along the smooth table and let his fingertips play with hers.

"Anything in particular?"

"Us mostly." She smiled.

"Oh?"

"Buffy… you know that I love you right?" she set down her fork and nodded.

"Yes."

"But again I'm wondering what kind of future we have."

"Oh." Buffy tried not to feel annoyed as the same old problem reared its ugly head.

"I mean, we can't even… not without Angelus rearing his handsome head." Angel gave her an easy smile. She found herself smiling back. "The thing is, I want you in my life, I should never have let you out of it." Now she was interested.

"I want to be in your life Angel, you know I do."

"Are you sure? Even with all the issues we have including my brand new grandchildren?"

"They're a bonus, and so is Connor." Angel smiled broadly and then bit his lower lip as if nervous.

"So… you wouldn't mind if I…" he stood up and walked over to her, and went down on one knee before her. Buffy thought her heart just stopped. "did this?"

"Uh…" she was lost for words. He reached into a pocket and drew out a small box.

"Buffy Anne Summers… will you marry me?" he opened the box. There, nestled in the dark blue velvet, was a ring. It had a silver band and a topaz diamond on it. She gaped at it, it was so beautiful, she'd been expecting… well she wasn't sure what she'd been expecting.

"Oh Angel…" she felt light headed and then she nodded, "Yes, absolutely, of course I will." He smiled and took the ring out, and then lovingly slipped it on her ring finger. She flashed back to the time when he'd done that before, with the claddagh ring. She felt tears of joy in her eyes and she grabbed his head and kissed him passionately. As they pulled away he grinned and asked,

"Dessert?"

"Absolutely." Angel sat back down. "I'm still going you know."

"I know, but this gives you a reason to come back."

"I don't need any more of a reason then you." She observed the ring that sparkled on her finger, it felt perfect there, like it belonged there. Just like she belonged with her Angel.


"You know, I can't help but wonder if you had a personality transplant a few years ago." Cordelia rolled her eyes at the blond vampire who was staring at her, eyes narrowed.

"I can't help wonder if you lost your manhood a few years ago, time was you'd be trying to kill me and yet here you are changing diapers." Spike smirked at her as he finished wiping Liam's bottom. He couldn't deny that.

"Well one thing hasn't changed, you're as gorgeous as ever princess." She smirked

"And you're as bleached as ever."

"Oh that's nice, try to give a girl a compliment and she insults you, that's real nice."

"Coming from you, he who fell for Buffy, I don't consider it much of one."

"Oh, so old rivalries still continue."

"So it would seem." She picked up Tayen and sat her in her carrycot. As she bent down to do so she could feel Spike's eyes boring into her. She found herself enjoying the attention; it made her feel like the old Cordelia again, when she used to have boys all over her. She straightened up and turned around. "You might want to watch out, little boys have a habit of-" Too late! Liam decided his cousin needed a shower and let 'er rip. Spike groaned in dismay as it got on his shirt.

"Bollocks!" he cursed.

"Hey, hey, no cursing in front of the babies, Angel, Connor and Calista have told you that before." She wagged her finger at him. "Finish him up, I'll get you a shirt." She walked away smiling in amusement.

"Nothing belong to peaches, you hear me cheerleader." She waved her hand at him dismissively, going upstairs and into Spike's room. She noted the absolute mess around the place with a wrinkled nose. Going to the pile of clothes at the foot of the bed she gingerly picked at it to find a shirt that was relatively clean. She found one near the bottom and pulled it out. Holding it between her thumb and forefinger she brought it downstairs.

"Here you go. There's nothing peachy about it." She tossed it at him and it landed on his head. He pulled it off his head and then took the other one off tossing it aside. "That better be going in the wash." she warned

"Keep your shirt on princess I'll do it." She observed the toned chest and the six-pack stomach with interest. Spike noticed her observing and smirked broadly,

"Wandering eyes? Not like daddy's little girl." he teased. She returned the smirk,

"Not like momma's boy to watch daddy's little girl's ass."

"No cursing in front of the tots luv, haven't Mini-poof, Calista and Peaches warned you?" he mock scolded.

"I'm not talking to them." Cordelia was enjoying the banter with Spike. He was obviously enjoying it too. He strode up to her until they were almost nose to nose. She didn't move, very much aware of his closeness. He had nice eyes, she noted, very nice eyes. They darkened suddenly and she noted that the pupils dilated.

'Hmm…' She leaned a little closer, getting a whiff of his scent, it was nice, musky, but nice. Suddenly a giggle broke the electric tension between them. They looked up to see Calista giggling at them.

"Don't you have something to do mummy?" Cordelia asked snippily. Calista blushed and came down. She busied herself with the babies, avoiding their eyes. Observing her Cordelia thought she looked older, and yet unburdened, as if the memories didn't weigh on her like they did with Connor. She kept sneaking looks and then giggling. Connor came wandering up from the basement, followed by Giles, and Willow.

"What were you three up to down there?"

"We were just trying out some spells Connor had in his mind." Willow answered quickly. She was useless at keeping secrets, they were up to something, it was obvious. Cordelia wondered if she could get it out of them. Connor walked over to Calista and wrapped his arms around her, leaning his head against hers.

"Where's Buffy and Angel?"

"Out on a date."

"Dad's up to something." Connor said matter of factly. "I know it."

"Like what?" Connor grinned at them

"Oh I shall not say." he said, "But rest assured it is a matter of great importance, if I am right, which I believe I am."

"Wow, two hours with Giles and you're talking like Shakespeare." Calista laughed. Connor sat on the ground and pulled her onto his lap.

"What about Xander and Anya? I saw them leave too."

"I think Xander wanted to talk to her about something."

"And Faith and Robin?"

"Same thing."

"Let me guess so are Fred and Wes. Hey that rhymes!" Calista smiled.

"Yeah… did someone drop a bottle of love gas or something around here?"

"Not guilty. I don't need it." Connor gave Calista a bear hug as he spoke. She giggled like a schoolgirl.

"Don't look at me. I've been up to my eyeballs in baby things."

"Must be some post-apocalyptic thing." Cordelia shrugged. "Hey, where's Dawn and Andrew…" she dropped her jaw and shook her head. Connor and Calista both nodded. "No."

"Oh yes, although Dawn didn't look overly interested." Calista shrugged.

"Oh thank God the world hasn't turned on its head." She put a hand to her heart as she breathed an exaggerated sigh of relief. They laughed in amusement. Connor sniffed the air,

"You know the whole point of changing a baby is so that you can throw the dirty nappy out."

"We were getting to that, and for the record this is your bloody job!"

"Spike I won't warn you again!" Calista scolded.

"What? Oh come on! I can't even say blo-"

"Spike…" she interrupted warningly. Spike gaped at her, realising she wasn't kidding and bit on his lip to fight the curses that sprang to them. He groaned and snatched up the nappies and walked away.

"You just know he only did that so he could curse." Connor smiled in amusement.

"Duh Connor!" Cordelia chuckled to herself. She picked up the finished Liam and set him beside his sister where he promptly fell asleep. "You know I'm starting to think that this little guy does all the sleeping for both of them, she never seems to sleep."

"She does sleep, but she's much more alert then Liam is I'll agree." Calista said. "I can't wait to see what they're like when they're older."

"I can't imagine them being any older then they are now." Connor smiled at them tenderly. She smiled in agreement. Suddenly the door opened and Dawn and a despondent Andrew came in. She looked frazzled and he looked like he'd had his heart crushed.

'Shesh! Talk about drama queen.' Cordelia thought to herself. Andrew was making puppy eyes at Dawn who was ignoring him and greeting Connor, Calista and the babies. Andrew went towards the kitchen and Cordelia found herself following him. He was pulling out flour, eggs, sugar, all the things one would need for a cheering up cake.

"Hey you can't be that miserable, but if you are can you make that cake chocolate?" she said, he jumped in surprise and then he nodded, his eyes extremely sad. She felt bad and tried to cheer him up. "Come on, there'll be other girls." His brow furrowed in confusion.

"What do you mean other girls?"

"You know, don't be so down that Dawn rejected you, I'm sure you'll find some Trekkie girl who doesn't mind dressing up and going to conventions looking like those green-skinned sluts."

"Orion slave girls." he corrected automatically, "Or their also called Orion animal women sometimes, they're supposed to be irresistible, no man can refuse them, except Captain Pike when Vina tried to seduce him by posing as an Orion woman in-"

"Hey Chihuahua, I don't actually care." he deflated again and said

"Yeah I know, but I wasn't asking Dawn out on a date… well I was but not for the reason you think. I was asking her if she thought I could ever become a Watcher like Mr. Giles. She said no." Cordelia pursed her lips sympathetically, "She said I'd probably just end up in jail or dead, lets face it I deserve it."

"Hey now come on-"

"No, I do I did bad things, hurt a lot of people, killed the best friend I ever had and all so that I could what? I don't even remember why I did it all." Cordelia shrugged helplessly, she had nothing to say to that. Why was she even talking to him? What force had compelled her to go up to him and try to consol him? He sighed and busied himself with his baking and she slipped away gratefully. She wondered whether Dawn was right to be so harsh. From what she'd heard Andrew hadn't been a good guy, in fact he'd been a serious pain in the ass for Buffy and the others. Now, though… should he be given a chance? He seemed genuine about his desire to become a Watcher (and at the thought she flashbacked to the Wesley she'd first met and simply switched the bodies and got a good idea of what he'd be like) so shouldn't he be able to give it a shot? Especially when the council had been blow to bits by The First and they'd need new Watchers. She sighed, and went back out to the lobby where Dawn and Calista were chatting, with Connor getting a glazed look in his eyes as he sat under Calista since she was still in his lap. Spike was standing aloof from the group, fiddling with a cigarette packet although clearly not brave enough to try and light one with Calista nearby. She'd decapitate him before he could say any kind of swear. Dawn and Calista burst into giggles and Calista wrapped her arm around Connor's skinny shoulders. He really needed to put on some weight, and as far as Cordelia was concerned Calista needed to eat more too, she was so skinny. In the beauty salon she'd noticed the girl's ribs were eerily visible and had made it her mission to put a little meat on her, especially since she was breast feeding and would loose a lot of weight just through that. Suddenly Calista looked at her and her smile turned down a notch. Cordelia shifted nervously and knew that she was about to have that talk when the teen stood up. She walked straight up to her and said

"Can I talk to you Cordy?" She nodded after a slight hesitation and the two walked out into the little garden. The sweet scent of jasmine filled her nose and it soothed her nerves. Calista sat on the bench after checking to make sure that it was relatively clean. Cordelia did the same and sat down, clasping her hands together over her legs. They sat in silence for many minutes, Calista's eyes swept over the garden several times and then she leaned forward and plucked a spring of jasmine from the bush of it and twirled it in her fingertips, lightly pressing the flowers to her face. Cordelia waited patiently for her to speak, trying hard to sit still.

"What was it like Cordy?" she whispered. Cordelia frowned in confusion. Calista looked at her carefully, "What was it like to be possessed by that Power that Was?" Taken aback by the question it took her a minute to answer. Finally she said softly

"It was like a nightmare. I watched my hands choke life from innocent people, I felt my lips manipulate my friends, and I was trapped, unable to do anything to stop it."

"Unable to stop Connor from falling for you." Calista said softly. She bowed her head, the jasmine spinning so fast between her forefinger and thumb it was a blur. Cordelia looked away in shame. It was so hard to look at either her or Connor because of that. "I wish I could say it doesn't bother me Cordy, I really do. I like you Cordelia, I want us to be friends." Feeling emboldened Cordelia reached out and took the pale hand that lay on the lean leg and held it in her own.

"I want to be friends with you Calista." she said honestly, "I wish I could take away that night, it could have prevented a lot of pain for all three of us."

"I know, I just can't stand that he slept with your body." Cordelia grimaced at her choice of words. "The fact that he was willing to is the hardest part."

"I wouldn't say willing exactly. She manipulated him into falling for her, used his fear to coerce him into her bed."

"But that can only be taken so far, can't it? I mean I don't know, it just seems to me that it doesn't matter how much manipulation you use on a man, he's still the one in control in many ways. Women are the recipients of love making, not the other way round. He's still got to be willing, still has to want to do it otherwise he wouldn't." That sounded like very old-fashioned thinking to Cordelia; modern in the fact that she was questioning it, and yet old-fashioned because she saw things that way. Cordelia thought carefully about what this girl's upbringing must have been like, the only girl, with a man from an age when women didn't even have rights, who would have taught her this way no doubt. There was a slight element of truth in it she supposed, women were the recipients, but that didn't mean they weren't in control, they just did it differently. Something about the questions made her wonder just how Connor and Calista had finally come to… conceiving the twins. She hoped Connor hadn't coerced her into anything, she doubted it but there was a tiny speck of her that wondered.

"Not these days though sweetie, magic, drugs, drink, even words, there's all sorts of ways to coerce a boy into sleeping with you."

"Yo-She didn't need any of those things."

"He needed comfort of some kind, she took advantage of that. Besides sweetie, she'd made him forget all about you. When I purged him of Quor-Toth's essence he unconsciously forgot about you to protect you from me, believing that I'd find out and tell Angel and Angel would hurt you and the babies. He remembered you for a time though didn't he? That thing forced him to forget about you again, using a spell so that she could manipulate him again. Without you in his memories he was much more vulnerable and an easier target." Calista looked up and away, tears in her eyes,

"This is so awful." she gasped, fighting a sob. Feeling tears in her own eyes, tears of grief, regret and pure sadness Cordelia reached out and stroked back the lovely soft hair slowly and soothingly. "I hate this! I hate what that thing did! To all of us. I hate what she did to me!"

"I know, but she's gone forever, you beat her, you've won it all Calista, the guy, the babies, the world." She looked at her sadly and then Cordelia hugged her tightly, letting her rest her head on her shoulder. She held her tightly, digging her fingers into her back, which made Cordy wince but she said nothing. She may have cried silent tears, but there were no more sobs. At length she hissed,

"I am so sick of crying."

"I know, I know." Cordelia rocked her slightly. "No more tears, ok? Just smiles and laughter from now on."

"That sounds really nice." she whispered, letting out a little giggle. Cordelia smiled and let her straighten up. She wiped her face and smiled at her gratefully. "Thank you Cordy." She squeezed her hand slightly to emphasise her words.

"No problem." The moment between them was broken by screams of delight. They both stood up and saw Buffy being crushed in a hug by Dawn and Willow who were both squealing in delight and Dawn was bouncing up and down. "What's going on in there?"

"I don't know, but maybe it has something to do with the ring Angel was contemplating this morning, y'know, before I started seeing all evil and good." Calista shrugged innocently but she was smiling broadly. Cordelia gaped at her and then they both rushed in to hear Dawn squeal

"I can't believe you're finally engaged!"

"Dawn! We've only recently gotten back together!" Buffy laughed.

"Oh but you've been destined for it since you were sixteen Buffy!" Cordelia laughed as she and Calista joined them. "Now lets see!" she squealed, clapping her hands eagerly. Buffy smiled in delight and held out her hand flashing the diamond in the light. Cordelia examined it and said, "Wow, Angel you have good tastes, although I guess I already knew that when you bought me all new clothes that time." Angel looked embarrassed while Connor laughed at Buffy's indignant look, as if she was wondering why Angel never bought her all new clothes. Calista smiled and admired the beautiful band, her eyes going thoughtful.

"When are you going to have the wedding?" she asked curiously.

"Oh I haven't got a clue yet, we have so much to plan." Buffy jumped up and down in excitement and suddenly flung her arms around Angel. Spike leaned in and whispered something into Connor's ear, which made him snort and grimace. Calista raised an eyebrow at the two of them and they shot her innocent looks. She sighed and then sighed again as Liam let out a small cry, obviously disturbed by the noise. She went over and picked him up letting his head rest on her shoulder and she bounced him lightly. She smiled at him sweetly and rested her cheek on his little head. Connor smiled broadly for some reason at the sight.

"Y'know, if you wait long enough you'd have a ready made flower girl and ring bearer." Spike said, pointing in turn at Tayen and Liam.

"Oh how cute would they look!"

"We'd have to wait till they were at least a year, if not two or three." Buffy exclaimed, "I can't wait that long."

"You should so let Anya handle your finances. She's amazing at it." Calista said wisely as she sat down with Liam in her arms.

"Oh good idea."

"What do you think for a dress Buffy? What style?" asked Cordy eagerly.

"Well I don't know, but I'm not making any decisions till we come back from Sunnydale." Buffy answered.

"You're still going?" Calista exclaimed in shock.

"Yes we are, we have unfinished business to attend to. The hellmouth needs to be shut down."

"And just how will you accomplish that?" Cordelia exclaimed,

"I… haven't figured that out yet, but we're leaving in two days at most, preferably less." Buffy stuck her chin out defiantly her mind was clearly set. Calista bit her lip nervously but said nothing. Connor looked at her worriedly, as if he knew what she was thinking.

"Buffy, have you any idea what's there waiting for you to just wander on into?" Cordelia looked very worried.

"Well no."

"I do." whispered Calista almost against her will. She looked at the ground when they stared at her.

"So do I." Connor admitted. "Connacht kept a very close eye on The First." he added at their questioning looks.

"So what is there?"

"An army." Calista whispered, holding Liam close, "Even when we had all the Potentials it would never have been enough. Never enough." she shook her head and shifted restlessly, hugging Liam tightly, whispering again, "Never enough."


Connor smiled at Tayen as he carefully pulled her little hand out through the sleeve of her sleeping suit. She watched him curiously and then yawned widely. He chuckled and picked her up bringing her over to the pink crib. He lay her down and made sure the sheets were smooth and tight across the mattress. Once he did he went and switched the lights off and shut the door. He turned to Calista who was pulling off her shoes and setting them inside the wardrobe and he began to pull his shirt over his head.

"Erk!" he grunted as it stuck halfway over his head. "Help! Calista!" he laughed, struggling with the offending clothing. She chuckled and he heard her approach him and her hands helped him wriggle the shirt off him.

"Next time remember to undo the buttons." she said dryly, holding the shirt in her hands.

"No argument from me." he agreed. She suddenly got a thoughtful look in her eyes and her hands dropped the shirt. They moved towards him and rested against his chest. She stared at her hands, and then looked at him. She moved with vampire speed and kissed him hungrily, pushing him against the wall. His hands gripped her hips and pulled her close. Her hands explored his torso lightly and he groaned, now undoing the buttons of her blouse, pushing it off her shoulders. Her skin was silky smooth under his fingertips, except for the occasional rise that was a scar. His own body was covered in them, and she used to trace them when they lay together. She only had a few, the most distinguishing one was on her shoulder blade, it was long and jagged running from the point where shoulder melted into arm and down across towards the middle of her spine. His fingers traced it now, the strap of her nursing bra getting in the way of the full pattern. She let out a soft whine and pulled him to the bed. Soon they were under the covers, touching, kissing, reacquainting themselves with each other's bodies. They hadn't made love in months and months; they were craving the closeness it gave them. Calista made those soft noises he loved and she felt so soft and sweet against him. They whispered words of love to each other and then suddenly she clutched him tightly, her eyes widening in surprise before she moaned his name. He nuzzled into her neck to muffle his own moans. Finally they lay under the covers of their large bed, arms and legs around each other, Connor gently kissing down her nose to her lips. She sighed in contentment and snuggled into him more.

"This is nice."

"Mm-hm." he agreed, his fingertips stroking her back lightly, making the goosebumps rise.

"I wish this could last forever, this peace, this happiness."

"I'm glad you still feel such things after everything." he whispered softly. She smiled up at him, lying on his chest.

"Of course I do Connor, you make sure of that."

"How cheesy." he teased.

"Cheesy but true." she countered smiling broadly. His toes played against hers and she giggled softly. Then her smile faded and she stroked his face. "Are you sure about this?" He pushed her hair out of her face and nodded solemnly,

"I'm sure."

"Once we start we cannot go back." she said carefully, her eyes probing him for any doubts.

"I'm sure Calista." he insisted.

"Ok Connor." She leaned closer and kissed him, and then they both got out of bed. They dressed quickly and quietly. She pulled a bag out of the wardrobe; it gave off the distinctive scent of jasmine. Connor went into the nursery and he quickly cast a small transport spell. The cribs and babies vanished, now residing in Buffy's room. A baby monitor was promptly transported to his dad's room along with a letter. Calista checked the bag and then said

"We ready?" He wordlessly held his hand out for hers and she obliged. "Got the keys?" He held them up and they smiled slightly at each other. They tip toed down to the lobby, at this time of night even Angel and Spike were out cold, and then out to the street. Connor unlocked his dad's beloved car and they both hopped in. Connor put the keys in the ignition and started it up, Calista whispered a spell of silence to prevent any half awake people from catching them. Connor smoothly unparked the car and then they began to go down the empty street. Calista murmured

"Good thing Connacht learned how to drive." Connor smiled.


"Where the hell could they be?" yelled Angel furiously. "Just wait till I get my hands on them, I'll kill them! How dare they, this is completely irresponsible!" He continued his rant and the others were edging away slowly from him afraid that sudden movements would mean their doom. Finally Wesley said

"Angel calm down, I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for this sudden disappearance."

"I'll bet it's in this letter peaches dropped when he grabbed the monitor." Spike said dryly as he held up the envelope. It had Angel written on it in large letters. Angel snatched it and tore it open, almost ripping the letter inside. He unfolded it and read;

Dad,

By the time you read this we'll be long gone. Don't worry if you can help it, Calista and I will be back. We just need to finish up the situation in Sunnydale. We wanted to tell you but we knew you'd never let us go. We know Buffy can't do anything about The First, and we know we have to be the ones in the hellmouth. Something's going to happen, we can't tell you what because we don't know, but we need to be there. Please don't follow us, we want you to stay with Liam and Tayen till we return. I promise we'll be careful, but this is something we need to do. Call it closure.

Love

Connor and Calista

Angel was motionless as Buffy pried the letter from his fingers and read it aloud.

"Closure? What's that supposed to mean?"

"Yeah, it's Buffy and the others who ought to want closure on the First, not Connor and Calista."

"Think this has something to do with the Children of Vampires?" Gunn frowned thoughtfully.

"What makes you say that Gunn?"

"Think about it, the big bad that had possessed Cordy was the evil Power right? The First was its partner in crime, remember? Maybe they feel it's up to them to… I dunno, get vengeance on the both of them."

"Sounds very possible, we've seen how far Connor can go for revenge." Angel winced at the still very vivid memory of being stuck at the bottom of the ocean. Buffy squeezed his hand supportively.

"We have to go after them!"

"But the letter said-"

"Bugger the letter!" Spike exclaimed, cutting Dawn off. "I'm not letting those two nutcases go off into the pit of hell, they're the ones who were warning us about what's in there."

"They must have planned this a while ago. This couldn't have been a sudden idea in their heads." Fred said looking at the letter again. "Hey… where did they learn to drive?"

"Connor mentioned Connacht made a note of learning the method of driving or something and he must have used it to take my car." Angel growled.

"Let's not waste time, by now they're already there." Cordelia said decisively.

"Wait we can't just leave the babies I mean I know it's been pretty quiet lately but there's no telling who might want to steal them. We need to leave enough people to protect them."

"So half of us stay and half of us go, either way I'm going." Spike said.

"Me, too." Angel added.

"No, you promised you'd stay here Angel!" Buffy said sternly

"Plan's changed Buffy." He said quietly.

"One ensouled vampire has to stay put." Cordelia ordered, "So decide quickly. We don't have much time!"


/Doing a dance/ One chapter left, one chapter left! Reviews will bring it up all the faster!

Night's Darkness