Okay, so this chapter is about John, as if he is telling it to you. The story will be written like the last chapter, but I'm going to include chapters every now and again, from a first person POV. Kinda like the characters are taking breaks from the fic and going to a big brother style diary room or something. If it doesn't work, lemme know and it will get changed. I just thought it would be a good tool, to really see what's going on inside their heads. Again though, it's kind of experimental so it might suck.
This chapter is rated M for some swearing. Please review, over 80 people have read chapter 1, and I have had 3 reviews. I would really appreciate them, good or bad. Thanks.
John
I don't like to think about how my life was before Claire. It sounds a bit dramatic, I know, but she is probably the reason I'm not in prison or something by now. Before her I honestly couldn't give a shit about anybody. My parents were slowly killing each other, my old man used to knock my Mom about, put her in the hospital twice. He was, true to the cliché, an alcoholic. It's sickening how predictable his story was, lost his job, couldn't find another one, and started blaming everyone but himself for his problems. He died a year ago, just dropped dead from a heart attack whilst watching the TV. I found him. I came in from work, and it honestly looked as if he was sleeping. He was normally passed out on the couch so I didn't think anything of it. I still don't really, I don't have many good memories of the guy, and I don't miss him at all. It sounds harsh, but the guy was a jerk. I try to tell my Mother that we're better off, but she's fallen apart since it happened. She quit work at the drugstore, signed off sick due to depression. Kept all his things the way they were. I don't know why she holds onto the memory of a guy that treated like shit, although I'm sure there's probably some deep fucking psychological reason or something.
So anyway, with that kind of home life, I was doomed to fail. How could I not? I was using drugs, mostly only weed, but I started using the harder stuff when things got really bad. I used to get drunk most nights. Looking back I could so easily have turned into my father. I still drink, don't get me wrong, I'm not a fucking angel, but I know my limits, and I drink to relax, not to escape.
My friends, if you could call them that, couldn't believe the change in me after I met her. Instead of hanging around loser bars and squats, I started spending most of my free time sneaking in Claire bedroom window. Now she's in college I usually stay over about three times a week. I takes a lot of discipline to stay away for the other four nights, but then she starts moaning about having to study or something. I remember the first time I stayed over all night, the first time we slept together. Though we didn't get much sleeping done, you know what I mean? She was so nervous that night, even I was shaking. I mean, I wasn't a virgin of course, but I had never slept with any girl that I actually cared about. I was willing to wait as long as she wanted, knew how inexperienced she was. I'll spare you the gory details, but it was the best night of my life. I'm going to sound like a girl, but I honestly felt as if I could have died right then, and it would have been okay, because that surely was as good as life could get. The entire night was so intense. When it was over, and we were both lying there in the darkness, she whispered so quietly that she loved me. I don't think anyone had ever said that to me before. Not that I can remember, my parents weren't really the loving type.
Before that moment I never really knew where we were going. There's like this voice inside my head, and every now and again, it'll cut through the good stuff and remind me that I'm not good enough for her. We both know its true but we don't mention it. I have almost no qualifications, just my high school diploma, and it's a fucking miracle I have that. My main priority after high school was just getting a job, save some money, get my own place. Soon as I saved enough money, whadda you know? The bastard died. I had to stay. I wasted a big chunk of that money, my freedom, to pay for his funeral. I could almost hear him laughing at me.
So yeah, I'm back at square one. Claire is graduating soon, and I've started dropping hints that maybe we could look for a place together. Since that first night I know that we were in it for the long haul. Makes me sound like a sissy, but sometimes you just know. I also have a surprise graduation gift for her. The ring isn't as big or as flashy as a richer guy could afford to buy her, but it's nice. I may not ever be rich, but nobody will love her more then I do. You don't need the biggest rock to make the gesture. It's just a way of telling her that I always want her there, and when she's ready, I want to marry her someday. What's the point in hanging around? She's it for me. As good as it's going to get.
Don't know what I would do without her. Lucky I don't have that problem.
