Chapter 5

Finally after five or six games Natalie spoke.

"It's closing time, you have to go" Natalie said as she put her stick away. Natalie looked around the room for the person that was in the back booth earlier but he was gone, she thought nothing of it and started putting the chairs on the tables. John started to help her with the chairs.

" What are you doing?" Natalie asked

"Helping" john replied continuing to lift the chairs

"I don't need any help, I do this by myself all the time," Natalie said giving him her hard cold look. John stopped with the chairs and without a word he left. John waited outside for her to finish up inside, he was determined to get her to talk, talk to him, say anything, if he could get her to open up just a little he knew he might have a shot with her, a shot to be with her.

Natalie came out of the door and locked it from the outside and started to walk home. She only got a few feet away from the bar when he approached her. He saw her begin to walk and he stopped her.

"Do you want a ride?" he asked as he caught her eye. How she didn't want to accept his offer for a ride, afraid, afraid to be in a car with him with the thoughts she had earlier. She shook her head no; proud of herself she started to walk away when it began to rain.

"Shit! Not again" she said and looked back at him in between the raindrops. He smiled when he heard her curse and he saw her grin. She walked back over to him getting soaked.

"Can I still get that ride?" she asked and he escorted her to his car.

They drove for a few minutes in silence when John broke the ice.

"Does it always rain this much here?"

"Yeah, it's our rainy season" Natalie answered and she let out a small laugh

"What's so funny?" he asked her with a grin

" I don't know.. I guess I really don't no if Llanview has a rainy season I didn't grow up here, my answer just sounded good when I said it" she said. So she didn't grow up here, John thought, now maybe I'll learn a little bit about her. Earlier today John had thought about having someone at the bureau get information on her but he found no fun in it, he wanted to learn about her first hand, he wanted her to tell him, he wanted her to want to tell him. And he also knew she was the type of person who would be pissed if she ever found out about it.

" Where did you grow up?" John asked her and waited for her answer as he saw her motion for him to make a right on the next block.

" Jersey, Atlantic city to be exact" Natalie said proudly, proud because even though she had a horrible up bringing she loved AC, she loved calling it home.

"No kidding" John said as he looked at her for a quick second while he continued to drive. He gave her a smile

"No, kidding, why? Don't tell me you're from Jersey too," Natalie said with a beaming smile that lit up the car.

"Atlantic City, to be exact" John said with his own bright smile, this was getting better, and better, they had something that made them both smile in common.

"Small world isn't it? My house is the one on the left," Natalie said as John pulled into her driveway.

"Thanks for the ride " Natalie said and she quickly got out of the car, she didn't want to spend any more time sitting and talking with him cause the more she did, the more she liked it, liked him. John watched her jump out of the car and then she tried to open her door lock but she seems to be having a hard time with it. He got out to help her.

"It's stuck again, it does this sometimes" she said as she saw him approach her.

"Let me try" he said and he moved his hand to try and turn the key in the lock but was to fast, he ended up putting his hand on top of hers. As soon as they felt each others skin they both turned at the same time and stared at each other as if a jolt went thru their bodies, they together quickly, urgently turned the key in the door and pushed it open with their bodies as his lips came upon hers.

As the door swung open John and Natalie bodies clung together as Natalie's hands went to the buttons of his shirt, she pulled her body away slightly to undo his buttons as John's lips started making their way down to her neck, they were both breathing heavy and urgently doing there tasks, finally Natalie got the last of his buttons undone and she let out a sigh of excitement as she leaned her neck up for him to further kiss and nibble on, Natalie could feel herself letting go, letting go of all her anger, she took her hands and placed them on his bare chest and felt his heat, his warmth, Natalie backed her body up a few feet taking him with her and John reached behind and closed the door.

Natalie reached her hand down to his belt and opened it while John's hands found a home on her chest, her heaving breast, he squeezed them each in one hand thru her tight fitting Rodi's tee shirt. Then he found one of her nipples with his thumb and he started teasing it as Natalie finished with his belt and started on his zipper she lightly grazed his erection with her hand as she undid his zipper, John was still working on seeing how hard he could make her nipples when he felt her touch him, a jolt radiated thru his body and he pushed her up against the wall next to the mantle of the fireplace. The urgently and the force of him pushing her caused a picture to fall to the ground, the glass from the frame broke and they both stopped out of breath to see it sitting on the floor facing up. Natalie took one look at the picture, her wedding picture and she stopped, and she looked at him with glassy eyes and ran upstairs to her bedroom.

John didn't know what to do; he caused this with the way he's been kissing her, with his aggressiveness. He'd been aggressive and he knew it but he couldn't stop himself, he wasn't just interested in having sex with her, he wanted to know her, but for some reason when they were close, he just couldn't help himself, he had to touch her, taste her. John sat waiting for her to come down but she never did, he waited a little bit longer but still she didn't. He blew it, he thought, she won't have anything to do with me after all this, she probably won't even talk to me ever again. All these years, all these years I've waited to find someone again, find someone who made me want to feel again, only to blow it cause I was impatient.

John sat on the brick hearth of the fireplace with his face in his hands when he felt her staring at him. He looked up into her eyes, he could tell she had been crying, crying cause he pushed to hard, how he just wanted to make things better, better for her.

"Why are you still here?" Natalie asked as she stood her distance, she didn't want to be any closer, not with what always happens when they were close.

"I wanted to make sure you were alright" John answered standing up facing her.

"I'm fine, leave" Natalie said staring him in the eyes, she could do this, she told herself, she could be strong around this man.

"I know you're not, I'm not leaving" John said as he saw her start to get pissy

"And you think you know me so well, after just a few days? I don't think so!" Natalie said moving closer, as if daring herself to be in control of what she was feeling.

"Well you seem to think I knew you well enough for what we were about to do" John said not backing down, hell he might have felt bad, felt this was his fault but the way she acted sometimes made him think she needed a good kick in the ass.

"You really are a jerk, you know that! A jerk! Get out of my house!" Natalie screamed getting even closer towards him while she got heated.

"Okay, I'm a jerk, alright are you happy, I admitted it, but I'm still not leaving till you convince me your alright" John said as he saw her move right in front of his face.

"Get out! I'm fine! I'm fine, I'm f..." Natalie screamed as she beat her fists on his chest, and then her rage turned to tears, he grabbed her and pulled her to his chest and held her as she cried in his arms.

" I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she kept saying over and over again as she cried on his chest. He wasn't quite sure what it was she was sorry about, was she sorry about what almost happened with them, or because she felt she was betraying her dead husband, or was it something he didn't know yet. He just continued to hold her till her crying stopped.

As soon as her crying stopped he softly pushed her off his chest, he looked at her and his heart was breaking, she was a mess, beautiful but a mess.

" Come on" he said and he led her towards the stairs

" No, I .. we.. ca--" Natalie tried to say as he lead her up the stairs into her room.

"I think you need some sleep," John said as he guided her over to the bed and pulled the covers back for her to get in, she did and he said goodnight. He was about to leave her room when he turned back and she was crying again, crying into her pillow. He couldn't leave her, not like this, he felt as if he would never want to leave her, he walked over to her bed, took off his shoes and got under the covers with her, she reached for him the minute he got under the covers and she went into his arms.