AN
Ok once again guys please please leave me a review. If you like or even don't like this story if you have any advice or criticisms please just leave me a review to tell me so. Once again thanks to me Beta who no chapters would ever be posted without.Hope you enjoy this chapetr and once again please give me some feedback.
Disclaimer: Surprise, surprise i don't own any characters, plotlines or quotes you may recognise from this story.
Chapter 5
Alexa awoke sweating and gasping for breath as if she had just run miles. This was a new development in Alexa's dreams, and it was not one she was particularly fond of. At least before, she had understood them. They were just memories she had tried to forget, but now Alexa had no idea what they meant. The fact that people she had only met five days ago were in them only disconcerted Alexa more.
Seeing the smoke rising from further down the beach; Alexa realised she had missed the burning. She felt guilty because she had told Claire she had would be there. Oh well she'd just have to apologise when she saw Claire, and try to make it up to her. She decided it was probably about time she made her way back to the camp, as her stomach was growling. She would hopefully be able to put back on her shoes, which should have dried from the day before.
She walked at slow pace, in no particular hurry to arrive back, and enjoying the feeling of the sand between her toes. The despair of the night before seemed to have faded, yet Alexa sensed it was still there ready to come up once again. She just hoped she would deal with it better next time; the only saving grace had been she hadn't broken down in front of anyone, so there was no need for awkward explanations.
As Alexa arrived at the camp she observed that everyone seemed to be looking out to sea at something. There was a woman screaming. She must be drowning Alexa thought, but why is no one helping her? Just as she thought that, she saw another figure swimming out. Boone, she realised, but then he disappeared. Alexa had split seconds to make a decision as Jack dived in the water; she could trust Jack to reach them both in time, or she could go and at least try to help. Glad she wasn't wearing any shoes; she ran and dived after Jack. Her deliberations had cost her precious time, as Jack swam fast and dived under going after Boone; she arrived about 45 seconds after Jack pulled up Boone.
"Alexa take Boone and go back to shore." He managed. She simply acknowledged him and tried to get hold of Boone to swim back to shore with him.
"No" He spluttered "I don't need your help."
"The hell you don't!" Alexa shouted. Of all the stubborn people she had ever met, Boone had to be one of the worst. She just grabbed his shirt collar and dragged him back to shore. Once she reached the shore she looked back at Jack hoping to see him and the woman, but of the woman, there was no sign. He was swimming back alone. She was gone, Alexa realised, she had probably been swept out further by the tide and they had been too late.
She reached the shore, soaking wet, let go of Boone, and sank back to the sand trying to get her breath back. Why hadn't she gone earlier? Maybe then Jack would have been able to save her. No, Alexa stopped herself this one was definitely not her fault, she had tried to help, she had given Jack the chance to reach that woman, and nothing she could have done would have changed that. But the anguish within Alexa disagreed, and grew with the thoughts that Alexa maybe hadn't tried hard enough.
"Looks like you decided to go for that swim after all." A voice joked, and Alexa found she was glad to hear his voice. That in itself was a surprise.
"So it does, now it's not just my shoes though" She said looking down at her soaked clothes. She found herself blushing slightly at the fact she was wearing a white top, and she hoped that maybe Sawyer hadn't noticed. She looked at him and seeing the direction of his gaze, she realised he had definitely noticed. Trust my luck she thought to herself.
"Definitely going to need a change of clothes." She said more to herself than him, but he heard anyway.
"But the half drowned look is really going for you Lex." He said laughing once again.
"Well thanks Sawyer, but I'm pretty sure the dry and comfortable look was better." She replied. She looked up at him glad he was here. He could always take her mind off things she didn't want to think about. Looking up at Jack, however, she realised once changed she was going to have to think about it. Sawyer reached out his hand to pull her up; she took it, smiled at him and then walked to her bag, before going to find somewhere to change.
Feeling better now in dry clothes she got ready to talk to Jack, but realised Kate was already there. Kate would probably do a good job of convincing Jack it wasn't his fault, so Alexa decided to leave it, she would talk to him some other time. She guessed she could talk to Boone, but immediately dismissed the idea after remembering his disgust that it had been her helping rescue him. So instead she headed over to Sawyer who was having a conversation with Shannon. Alexa didn't catch all of what they said but from the looks of things, Shannon wanted something from Sawyer, and Sawyer being Sawyer wouldn't give anything for free. Alexa watched as Shannon stormed off, and Sawyer went back to his book.
She moved next to him and sat down, before looking at the tile of his book 'Watership Down' she read:
"Very apt." Alexa said to him
"What?" He said with a confused expression
"The book" She indicated
"Oh yeah that, needed something to read." Alexa just nodded before moving her head to lean on Sawyer's chest so she could read the words. He looked down at her head bemused
"Not that I'm not enjoying this Lex, but why?" He asked
"Oh I haven't read that book in ages, and there are only so many times you can read 'The Three Musketeers' before wanting to kill Dart'agnan yourself." He just smirked before returning to reading the book.
"You done with this page?" He asked.
"Yep go ahead." She answered. Alexa didn't want to admit but this was the happiest she had been in a long time, surprisingly being with Sawyer made her comfortable, and she enjoyed being in his company. She also enjoyed reading the book, but part of her argued that she was just using at as an excuse. Alexa ignored the little voice that was always saying things she didn't like hearing and carried on reading.
They finished a couple of chapters, before Alexa moved her head, and told Sawyer she had to go talk to someone, after remembering her earlier thoughts of apologising to Claire. Sawyer nodded at her before going back to his book, Alexa was about to walk away but stopped:
"Hang on Sawyer you can't read on without me." He looked at her before shaking his head and putting down the book.
"You know I don't do anything for free Lex, it's going to cost you." His voice was light and not as serious as Alexa would have expected if he actually wanted something of worth. Alexa didn't think she had anything on her she could give him, certainly nothing of value. She fished in her pockets and came up with a two pence piece she had found at the airport, she looked at it for a second remembering how it had brought her good luck, even if only for a few hours. She flipped the coin at Sawyer who deftly caught it but looking at her with an incredulous expression.
"I don't think this is going to cut it Lex. This wouldn't even save you a page."
"But that coin is magic." She said as if it were the simplest thing in the world
"Magic?" He asked laughing "Looks pretty ordinary to me"
"Not everything is as it seems" She answered mysteriously "And trust me, that coin is good luck."
"I'll hold you to that Lex." He pocketed the coin anyway, and couldn't help but let a true smile grace his lips as Alexa walked away. What was it about her? She was the only one he would have let get away with that, and Sawyer found he didn't regret it in the slightest. Not even freckles would have tried that, but then freckles didn't even give him the time of day. Sawyer didn't understand how Lex made him feel like she did, but then like she said 'Not everything is as it seems.'
Alexa made her way over to where Claire was sat down, Charlie was there too.
"Hey Claire, Charlie." She said
"Oh, hey Alexa." Charlie replied; he didn't look thrilled to see her, but then, who did? Apart from Sawyer of course. Deciding to just go straight ahead with what she had come for Alexa spoke:
"Ok Claire, I want to apologise for yesterday, I didn't mean to come across as rude to you, and I'm really sorry I missed your tribute." Alexa finished sincerely.
However much she had objected to being involved, she understood why Claire had done what she had, and was glad that there was somebody like her here.
"Don't worry about Alexa; I understood why you didn't get involved, I'm sorry to hear you missed the tribute though."
"Yer me too, I'm sure it was great; it was a nice thing for you to do for them. " Alexa said indicating the now burnt out fuselage. "And I know that some people have been saying some things about me, and I guess they might be right but…" Alexa didn't get to finish as Claire cut her off:
"I didn't believe anything they told me, and after hearing how you helped Jack to save Boone this morning, I certainly don't believe it." Claire finished with a slight smile, Alexa felt instantly relieved but didn't get chance to reply as Claire swayed on her feet and collapsed into Charlie.
"Claire..." Charlie said panicked, he looked at Alexa asking for help:
"Infirmary tent quick I'll see if I can find Jack, and try and get her some water." Alexa rushed off, and nearly hit Sayid; he quickly steadied her before she spoke:
"Sayid, do you know where Jack is? It's Claire she's collapsed." She said in a rush, Kate looked up as she heard Alexa's account to Sayid. She answered before Sayid could:
"I don't know, he seems to have disappeared, I'll go ask around." Kate said as she left. Alexa and Sayid went back to the infirmary tent where Charlie was looking around frantically:
"The water, someone's stolen the water." He said rapidly
"What!" Both Sayid and Alexa exclaimed
"It was right here and now it's gone, there's nothing I can give to Claire."
Sayid and Alexa looked at each other, before Alexa remembered her own water. There wasn't much but it would be enough for the moment.
"Hang on, I'll be right back." She ran quickly to her bag and rifled through before finding the water bottle a third full, after she had filled it yesterday. She ran back to the tent before passing the bottle to Charlie, who poured it into a cup, and helped Claire to drink it.
"You keep your own water?" Sayid asked curiously
"Well yes, what's wrong with that?" She asked Sayid with a frown
"The only other to do that is Sawyer." Sayid said darkly. Alexa couldn't really understand Sayid's problem, she knew he and Sawyer weren't exactly best buddies, to put it mildly, but so what if they had a couple of the same habits, and its not as if she hadn't given it up in heartbeat for Claire. Her thoughts were disturbed as Kate entered the tent. She looked at Claire before speaking:
"How are you?" She asked kindly.
"Better thanks." She said to Kate, but Claire's pale pallor and weak voice didn't convince anybody.
She walked out of the tent beckoning Sayid and Alexa to follow her. They did so, leaving Charlie in the tent with Claire. She looked worried as she spoke, and Alexa realised it wasn't just for Claire:
"I can't find Jack anywhere. The last one to see him was Boone, and that was this morning."
"I am sure he is fine Kate" Sayid reassured "But for the moment we will have to cope without him, and we are going to need some more water for Claire, as the bit Alexa brought won't last long." Kate nodded at him before turning to Alexa
"Sayid and I will ask around to see if we can figure out who took the water." She told her. Alexa nodded slightly annoyed that Kate and Sayid had once again refused to allow Alexa to help with their plans. It's like they just expected her to sit and do nothing.
The irritation persisted and Alexa decided to just leave Charlie and Claire alone they seemed fine, she walked off in the direction of where she had slept the night before only to be stopped by Sawyer.
"Hey there Lex, you don't look happy." She turned and was about to reply before realising that in Sawyer's hands there was a fish.
"You do realise you're carrying a fish right?" She asked amused
"Yes of course, it's not the sort of thing I could miss Lex." He replied indignantly
"Just checking, you feel like explaining why you're carrying a fish?" She asked again
"I traded it with the Korean guy for my water." He said
"Ok…but don't you need that water?" She asked assuming he knew about the theft.
"It'll rain eventually Lex." He said looking at the blue sky, she followed his gaze doubtfully, but shrugged; it was his water he could do what he wanted with it.
Sawyer started to walk away and head off into the forest
"Hey wait! Where are you going?" Alexa shouted
"You want to come?" He asked impatiently as he stood by the edge of the jungle. Alexa weighed the decision in her mind before thinking: What's the worst that could happen? They both headed off into the jungle in comfortable silence; until Sawyer spoke
"You can't tell anyone about this place Lex" He said
"Ok" Alexa wasn't really bothered. She didn't have anyone to tell anyway and plus as far as she could see, it was just the jungle, it's not like she needed to tell anyone; they all knew it was here. They reached their destination as Sawyer lifted up a mat, and Alexa realised this was where he kept most of the stuff he took from the plane. Part of her wondered if she should be getting at Sawyer for taking this stuff, but for all she knew it could be all his, either that or nobody was going to be able to claim it anyway.
Out of nowhere a figure knocked into Sawyer pushing him to the ground! Unfortunately Alexa was in the way; meaning she was flung violently into a tree hitting it on her side before sinking to the bottom. The figure that was now identifiable as Kate was too preoccupied to notice the injury she had caused Alexa, who was already feeling the throbbing pain, in her recently injured ribs. Alexa looked up slightly dazed as Sayid also came into view; neither was paying any attention to Alexa.
"You idiot. What did you do with it?" Kate shouted at Sawyer. Do with what? Alexa wondered.
"The water, what did you do with it?" Kate asked again.
"Tell us now" Sayid added angrily. Sawyer looked to be enjoying the situation immensely as Kate was sat on top of him and Alexa realised they thought he had stolen the water, she was yet to determine why they thought this though. Her question was answered as Sayid held a bottle out to Sawyer.
"You gave this to the Korean people; they told us they had got it from you."
"That's my water; I traded it to the Korean guy for a fish he had caught, cave-man style." Sawyer said angrily, he pushed Kate off him, and stood up.
"But why give up your water?" Kate asked
"Hey I'm an optimist it's got to rain sometime right?" Sawyer answered
It was only after this comment that anybody noticed Alexa who was still at the base of the tree; her breathing was now laboured, as every breath pained her ribs. She was more than a little annoyed; firstly she had spent 5 days being extremely careful of her ribs, so they healed quicker giving her more movement, and secondly Kate had just crashed into her and then completely ignored her. Alexa's thoughts were becoming harder to concentrate on as the pain increased. It had obviously only just dawned on Kate that it had been her that had knocked Alexa into the tree as she spoke:
"Oh god Alexa I'm so sorry I didn't mean to."
"S'okay Kate I know you didn't mean to." Alexa's words were quiet as every word was an effort she hissed in pain as she moved slightly, the possibility of her walking out of here was becoming distinctly slim, she might make it a few steps if she didn't pass out. It seemed that both Sayid and Sawyer had worked this one out as they moved closer.
"I will take her back to camp, and we can wait for Jack." Sayid said.
"To hell you will, you were partly the cause of this, coming raging in here accusing me." Sawyer muttered angrily.
"Guys" Kate said heatedly "I don't think now is exactly the time."
Sawyer just shot Sayid a glare as he bent down to pick down to pick Alexa up.
"Ow." She whimpered as the movement jostled her ribs. The pain wasn't as acute now, but Alexa didn't know if this was a good sign or not, it could just mean she was moving closer to unconsciousness as she struggled to keep a grip on reality. Alexa's head lay against Sawyer's chest and in any other circumstances Alexa was pretty sure her heart would have been racing, but every step Sawyer took was hurting Alexa, and she couldn't help it as tears came to her eyes.
Luckily they hadn't been too far from the beach so they didn't have to go far, Alexa in Sawyer's arms and Sayid and Kate following behind, Sawyer quickly made his way to the infirmary tent, and laid Alexa down. During this time Alexa had managed to hold onto consciousness although it had become increasingly hard to concentrate on anything.
"I'd get you some water Lex, but we don't seem to have any." Sawyer tried to joke, but his voice didn't hold its normal humour, and instead seemed deeply worried.
"Kate, maybe you should go and check again to see if you can find Jack or at least some water for Alexa." Sayid said, his voice was also worried, and Alexa wondered why, it's not as if she was going to die, a few broken ribs weren't so bad. Then again, if they'd punctured my lungs, I could easily be dead by now, Alexa thought. Sawyer was now sat with Alexa's head in his lap and was gently stroking her hair. He shot a glare at Kate who had just returned and Kate just shook her head.
"I'm just going to see if I can find something for the pain Lex, I'll be back in a minute."
"Promise?" Alexa said softly
"Always" Sawyer answered, Alexa watched as he left the tent after Kate, and smiled, the pain in Alexa's ribs was still throbbing, but without the movement of before it was beginning to fade, but Alexa still hoped that Sawyer would return with something she could take. Her hopes were answered as Sawyer returned with some pills in one hand, he looked at her apologetically.
"All I could find was aspirin, and there isn't any water for you to take with it." Alexa just nodded at him, anything would do until Jack returned and was able to reset her ribs. She took the aspirin from Sawyer as he helped her sit up and swallowed them dry coughing slightly, which only intensified the pain.
Suddenly Alexa heard Charlie's voice:
"It was you; you took the water you thief" He shouted. There was a sound of scrambling and more indistinguishable shouts before Jack's voice broke above the rest. Alexa wanted to know what was going on, so she sent Sawyer a pleading look:
"Oh no, I'm not taking you out there, it'll just hurt you even more."
"Oh come on Sawyer please, it's not as if I'll be the one moving." She said insistently
"Fine, but I'm not taking the blame if you get hurt again." He once again picked her up so she was lying in his arms and gently carried her outside so she could hear what Jack had to say.
Jack spoke to the group about working together, after Charlie had found out the water thief was Boone.
"If we can't live together we're going to die alone" He said finally. Alexa pondered that statement slightly, and hoped it didn't turn out to be true. She didn't want to die alone she realised.
But what do you want? That little voice asked. Alexa shrugged off her own question as she often did, and allowed Sawyer's close proximity to lull her into sleep as the painkillers took effect allowing Alexa at least a little peace.
The dreams visited Alexa once again, but something seemed to be having an effect on this one. Alexa was stood at the cemetery again watching flowers being laid on a grave, but they weren't lilies this time, they were roses, and as she looked at the sky she saw the grey clouds and she saw the storm. She felt the droplets hit her head and smiled. This was how it was meant to be. Alexa looked at the scene before her, at the figure in black and at the black marble grave as the rain hit it, she knew this was right, this was how it was meant to be, but there was still something about this scene that was wrong. Something was different. Confused she twisted and looked around. This time no figures appeared, but in the distance Alexa saw something through the rain, and as lightning struck the scene changed….
Back to the hospital room, but it was empty, the beds were all empty, no figures lay dying, and Alexa did not watch herself cry over another's death again. Instead she watched as a woman pushed a man in a wheel chair by and she heard their laughter. She twisted once again catching sight of something in the corner of her eye before the scene changed:
She was back in the room in the dark alone, yet somehow she didn't feel so alone anymore, and the candle that before looked so desolate now stood as a beacon shining. She watched the flame flicker but this time it did not die, and the wind through the window didn't seem as cold. The flame that before offered no comfort, now drew Alexa closer, and Alexa found that although it's light was small it chased away the fears and the doubt that the shadows brought. Something lurked in the darkness just as it had at the graveyard, yet Alexa found the candle gave her hope, and she didn't seem to fear as much anymore.
Suddenly the wind blew once again, and Alexa heard someone speak
"No matter what Alexa. No matter what……."
OkI know your sick of hearing this but please review?
