AN
OkI have to say the biggest thank you to the two people who left me reviews of chapter 5. So thank you so much arwen1982 and Richard Starkey, you helped my beta convince me to post this next chapter. So thank you so much to the both of you and once again a great thanks to my beta, who told me to get writing the next chapter as soon as possible.
Once againI would be so grateful if you would review this chapter once your done and tell me what you think. So please please do so.
Disclaimer: As everI do not own any characters, plotlines or quotes you may recognise from the TV show "Lost".
Chapter 6
When Alexa finally awoke the next day the sun was already high in the sky and she realised it was probably quite late in the afternoon. How she had slept that long Alexa didn't know, as she would assume that her injury would have kept her awake. She remembered falling asleep in Sawyer's arms, and then she had the dream again. This time though, it had been different, not as menacing, something had made her see things as they were. Still, some of the memories were distorted in her dreams. Alexa was lifted from her reverie by a voice to her left.
"So Sleeping Beauty finally awakes." The voice said, and Alexa looked up to see Sawyer's face.
"Sleeping? yes. Beauty? not so much." She said looking down at herself. Sawyer frowned but didn't say anything in return.
"Why did you let me sleep so long?" She asked
"Jack said you probably needed it, plus it would help your healing if you didn't move as much." Sawyer said as if reciting from a textbook. His demeanour was slightly disconcerting for Alexa as it wasn't how he normally was around her. She didn't like it. Where before silences were warm and comfortable, now they were awkward. She wondered what was wrong, as far as Alexa could remember she hadn't done anything wrong the day before, and he had been just generally nice to her, unlike he was to most people.
"Oh ok, on that thought, where is Jack?" She questioned
"He's trying to convince people to move to the caves, says it's safer. He wants you to go too I think." He said
"Is everyone going?" Alexa asked because in truth she didn't really want to leave, she guessed if both Sawyer and Sayid were going and maybe Kate then she would have to go to.
"No, me and the Arab are staying so are Freckles, Metro and Sticks there's a couple of other people I don't really know staying aswell." Sawyer finished, once again his voice lacked the enthusiasm he usually had for the conversations and Alexa found herself wanting to leave, just to find the other Sawyer, the one who made her feel safe, and the one she thought cared for her.
"Well that's settled then." Alexa said easily
"You going with the doctor then?" Sawyer said
"Hell no, everyone I know is staying here, why would I leave?" She asked
Sawyer just shrugged and walked away leaving Alexa feeling very low she looked up to where he had gone and saw him with Kate. She gently stood up to avoid hurting her ribs and walked slightly nearer to hear there conversations; she saw Sawyer smiling and laughing with Kate, and then he gave her flirtatious smile. The only line she caught was along the lines of
"I guess there's something good to stay for then." He then smiled at Kate again and moved his hand to her face.
Alexa had heard enough, she didn't need to hear that conversation to know where it was going. Alexa wondered why she cared, it's not as if he meant anything to her, they were just friends right? He could get involved with whoever the hell he liked, why should she care? He didn't mean anything to her.
Even in her head it sounded hollow and Alexa once again felt the emptiness in her heart she had that night with Sayid. This was worse though; much worse, before she just felt sad, but the feeling had faded after a while, but now Alexa didn't know what to think. She hated feeling like this she hated feeling so bad, Sawyer was a guy, and everyone had commented on what he was like. Why hadn't she expected this? Why had she got so close? Do you see where trusting people gets you Alexa? The little voice within her asked. Alexa ignored the voice, repeating the fact that she didn't care, willing herself to believe it. The sadness in her heart only seemed to intensify as she said it, because deep down she knew it wasn't true, in fact she knew the complete opposite was true, but admitting that would be ultimate betrayal. It would mean she had let someone in and they had let her down. So instead of facing it Alexa lied to herself, just as she had spent her whole life lying to the world.
Alexa had walked slowly away from Sawyer and Kate, and found herself just next to Sayid. He hadn't noticed her yet, and she wondered why but then she saw he was sat next to Shannon, and they were talking. Part of Alexa was happy for them both. Shannon however bad she seemed on the outside deserved someone, whether it be Sayid or someone else, and Alexa had instantly trusted Sayid as a friend and she still didn't regret it. However at that moment seeing Sayid and Shannon so happy just brought images of Sawyer and Kate and Alexa's heart painfully wrenched.
"I don't care…I don't care." She whispered under her breath, but the sound of Kate's laughter interrupted Alexa and she saw her walking with Sawyer. They're only flirting Alexa, that's what Sawyer does. Yes but it's obvious he likes Kate more than you. Parts of Alexa fought for dominance, the forever-hopeful part as usual lost, and the irrational part of Alexa sent her in the direction of the jungle.
After a few hundred yards of virtually jogging at a fast pace into the unknown Alexa stopped and assessed what she was doing. This was not a good idea; in fact Alexa was pretty certain it was a horrendously bad idea, she had no clue what was out here, and on top of that the sunlight was fading and soon it would be dark. Whatever Alexa's feelings, nothing justified this reckless piece of judgement. Alexa turned ready to head back to the beach. Before she could even begin to set off Alexa felt cold metal at her throat a hand over her mouth and a voice whispered in her ear:
"Move and I swear I will kill you." No matter how brave a person is, put in that situation anybody will be afraid, the defining moments of bravery are the fact that you don't allow your fear to overcome you and act rashly. Alexa knew this was true, she also knew she was afraid, no she was more than afraid she was terrified, but doing something stupid was going to get her killed so she stood still and didn't move, hoping she wouldn't get hurt. Unfortunately for her, her kidnapper did not stick to Alexa's rules, and the last thing Alexa saw was a flash of cold steel before all went dark.
Alexa awoke once again with a serious headache, she assumed that it was a result of the lump at the back of her head, and logically deduced that someone had knocked her unconscious. She tried to move only to found that she couldn't, she stopped her futile attempts and took in what she knew. She was tied, and tied tightly to a tree, they were in the middle of the jungle and it was dark.
This could not be good.
Alexa was still afraid but at that moment in time it didn't seem to be the predominant emotion, in fact she was just angry. Angry at herself for being so stupid, angry at Sawyer and Sayid for pushing her to do something like this, but most of all she was angry at whoever had the gall to kidnap her and then leave her tied to a tree in the middle of the night. What Alexa didn't know at that time was that she wasn't alone; not yet at any rate, she soon found this out though.
"Where is it?" A harsh voice in the darkness questioned
"What?" Alexa asked confused whilst trying to pinpoint the direction of the voice.
"Where is it?" The voice said louder this time
"Where is what?" Alexa was just confused and annoyed; she had no idea what this person was talking about.
"We know you know." It said this time
"I don't have the faintest idea what you are talking about, it might help if you were you know a little more specific." Alexa would have kicked herself if she could; she just couldn't help herself could she? She had to come up with some bloody stupid remark which was bound to get her into trouble. The voice hissed angrily and Alexa once again caught a flash of silver in the moonlight, but soon another voice interrupted.
"Leave the girl, she knows nothing of use. It will finish her off anyway" The voice was deep and rough and it sent chills directly up Alexa's spine, the way he had said 'It' had started to frighten Alexa, especially as no more voices disrupted the silent darkness. Alexa truly was alone now, she was alone, confused, scared and the ropes binding her to the tree were hurting; her ribs throbbed painfully, and her wrists chafed against the rope of the bindings.
The silence had been scary, but the sound that now interrupted Alexa's mind was bone-chilling .The deep reverberating growl from a distance rang through the jungle and Alexa realised whatever it was must be huge, and it was coming her way. She struggled wildly against the ropes but to no avail, and Alexa realised she was not going to be able to break free. The ominous noise was beginning to get nearer and Alexa's time was running short. She didn't want to die here on this island, especially with so many things left unsaid. Stupidly enough one of the saddest things she could think of was the fact that she and Sawyer would never finish the book.
Then it hit her. It wasn't the book she was bothered about. It was Sawyer. Alexa didn't want to spend her last minutes deluding herself so she finally turned and stood ready to face some things. She finally stopped running for long enough to see. She saw her and Sawyer talking and laughing, she saw her shy smile, and she saw her blush at something he said. She saw him stroke her hair when she was injured, she saw all the things that before she had chosen to ignore. Finally Alexa admitted that he didn't mean nothing to her, in fact he meant more to her than anyone she had met in a long time, and she finally saw why it hurt so much for him to be with Kate, because she truly did trust him, inside she felt for him and cared for him, and the thought of losing him from her life was devastating. Amidst the swaying trees and the menacing growls Alexa admitted to herself that maybe she cared for Sawyer as more than just a friend.
Suddenly to Alexa's left a figure burst through the undergrowth, Alexa's heart jumped as she recognised the figure. It was Sawyer. She wondered if she had ever been this happy to see anyone before, she doubted that she had. The figure looked up as he saw Alexa and Alexa caught the relieved look on his face, but she wondered if she saw something more pass on Sawyer's face.
"You feel like getting me down from here anytime soon?" Alexa asked impatiently but she kept glancing in front of her where the deep growls where steadily getting nearer. Sawyer cut the ropes holding her to the tree with a knife and then untied the rope binding her hands. Alexa carefully rubbed her wrists feeling the raw skin, before throwing her arms around Sawyer's neck.
"You have absolutely no idea how glad I am to see you." She said
"Probably about as glad as I am to find that you're ok." He mumbled into her hair, the corners of Alexa's mouth lifted before she remembered about Kate and she frowned but before she could say anything a very loud growl echoed around them reminding them of the immediate danger.
"We have to get out of here now" Alexa said as she started walking towards the direction Sawyer had come. The trees behind them swayed violently and Sawyer picked up the pace grabbing Alexa's arm.
"We're gonna have to run." He whispered
"Big problem, I don't think I can run very fast." Sawyer looked like he was about to object before it dawned on him that doing so could seriously injure Alexa.
"Ok then as fast as you can, but it gets too close I'm carrying you." He whispered back. They started running but whatever was behind them was closing in and Alexa was being left behind.
Sawyer easily lifted her into his arms and began to sprint. Alexa caught sight of the gun Sawyer was carrying and quickly grabbed it before trying to get into sight whatever was chasing them.
"Do you even know what you're doing with that thing?" Sawyer questioned
"Trust me." Alexa said simply, she didn't have a direct idea at exactly what she was shooting at, but if she could hit in the general vicinity she might do some damage. She took aim and fired over Sawyer's shoulder. The shot rang loudly through the jungle but Alexa was rewarded with a howl in what she could only assume was either pain or anger. Alexa's plan seemed to have worked as whatever the monster was seemed to have stopped its pursuit of them.
"It's stopped, you can put me down now" Alexa said brusquely, not that Alexa wasn't enjoying the attention but she was still angry at Sawyer even though he had saved her life. As Sawyer set her on her feet she immediately began walking away from him she didn't get very far before he caught her up.
"Whoa there Lex, What's with you? Don't I even get a thank you?" he asked his voice sounding hurt, Alexa sighed before replying
"Thanks for saving me." She said but her voice wasn't filled with the gratitude or appreciation Sawyer probably deserved, but whatever Alexa did she couldn't banish the images of Sawyer and Kate from her mind.
"Yer well next time maybe I'll just leave you in the jungle." Sawyer said angrily
"Maybe you should have done, it's not as if anybody would miss me." Sawyer glared at her before replying
"You know, you're so self-pitying sometimes Lex! Maybe if you opened your eyes and looked around you instead of taking the blame for everything, and condemning yourself for every single mistake then you'd see that people care!" he shouted "That I care." He said quieter. Alexa stopped what she was about to say and looked at him, she didn't know whether he was being sincere or not, but she didn't want to get hurt again; she didn't want to open her heart only to have him rip it into shreds.
"Oh yes you care, you care when it suits you, but when someone prettier comes along, I don't matter anymore do I? You wonder why I'm so self pitying Sawyer? I'm always going to be second best, I'm always going to shoved aside and it…." Alexa eyes were filling with tears now and just talking about it was bringing to the surface feelings she didn't want uncovered but now she had started she couldn't stop. "It hurts ok. It hurts so much" She finished as tears streamed down her face, she turned away from Sawyer not wanting him to see her like she was.
"You really think that Lex? You really think I don't care?" he said " Well your wrong I care and I shouldn't, I'm not meant to feel this way, I didn't want to hurt you Lex." He finished quietly
"You didn't want to hurt me?" She laughed at the irony of that statement what he had done had hurt her more than it ever should. "Yes because I can see you did a bloody good job of that, why don't you just go back to Kate? You don't want to hurt me? Well since you've already completely failed at that, how about you stay the hell away from me Sawyer! You know they warned me, and I didn't listen, you know why? Because I saw something they didn't, but maybe I was wrong." Alexa looked back at him and began to walk off but before she did she turned and shouted back "I thought you were different Sawyer, guess it just goes to show what a fool I am."
As Alexa made her way back to the beach she allowed the tears to fall freely, hoping that maybe they would wash the pain away. She had just been kidnapped and nearly killed on this island and had then shouted at her rescuer, it wasn't meant to be this way she thought. Back at the beach she sunk into the sand her tears falling like rain and eventually she cried herself to sleep.
Once again Alexa was back. It was the hospital room this time but in contrast to before the lights no longer looked warm and welcoming, they were harsh and blinding. All the beds were full and she watched once again as she talked quietly to the figure in the bed.
"What am I going to do if you go?" she heard herself ask, but to Alexa's surprise this time she heard the figure's reply.
"Well I would assume that your going to leave this dreary hospital room and go home, or knowing you probably not you'll go to some where different and very probably dangerous, America knowing you, just be careful if you do."
Alexa heard herself chuckle slightly but then saw a solemn expression pass across her face.
"I mean who am I going to go to for advice? Where am I going to go if I screw up again? And who's going to be there to tell me it's all going to be ok?"
The figure smiled at this
"You're going to follow your own advice just as you always do, you're going to do everything perfectly and then most likely run from your problems, and I know you don't have any faith Lex, but trust me when I say it is all going to be ok."
"What if it's not, though?"
"You're going to find your happiness again Lex, you'll see the sun when you least expect it, and one day you'll let someone into your heart and you're going to fall in love, just like you told me you never would, and I'll be laughing from wherever it is I am and next time I see you I'm going to tell you I told you so." A sad smile lifted Alexa's face and even then she could see that she hadn't believed it, but the figure's words echoed deep within her. 'You'll see the sun……you'll let someone in.' It hadn't turned out exactly as planned because the sun had been short lived, and the one she had let in would never return the favour. She guessed that the figure had been right after all though.
The scene changed once again the room was dark once more and the candle lasted only a few seconds before it was gone just as before. The cold swept through the room, leaving Alexa feeling empty of hope, and once again the sadness within her grew as she stared through the darkness into an equally dark and uncertain future.
Please review and tell me what you think. Thanks again.
