Disclaimer: The Doctor and all his companions are the property of the BBC and Russell T. Davies. They are not mine, nor will they ever be.
A/N: set between 'Boom Town' and 'Bad Wolf'
The Doors of the Mind
Part Two
"No! Don't! Don't make me! I can't!" And with those words Captain Jack Harkness woke up.
It was a week later, and Jack was tired. Very tired. Sleep was not something that came easy to him now. Sleep was where the dreams lurked.
When, a few hours after their flight from the Time Agency, he had finally awoken from his unconscious state, he had vowed there and then that he would never sleep again. And for the next three nights he had kept that vow, remaining awake and alert, determined not to slip into the dreams that he knew were waiting for him if he closed his eyes.
It was ironic, all things considered. He had gone to the Time Agency in order to try and rid himself of the dreams that were plaguing his sleeping hours. And now he would almost have welcomed those dreams back. The shadows of encroaching darkness were nothing compared to what he would see now if he dropped off.
But eventually, of course, he couldn't ward off sleep any longer. By the fourth night his body was crying out for rest, and he couldn't ignore that summons. So, despite all his efforts to the contrary, he slept. And he dreamed. And he woke, screaming, every single time. Trying to escape from the nightmares in his dreams. Nightmares of his own creation.
Except that he couldn't escape from them. Because they were memories. Memories that he could now remember. Ones that he had to live with, asleep or awake.
Rose spent a lot of time with him, trying to distract him from his thoughts. He hadn't told her what was in his regained memories, but he could tell that she knew it was bad. And how could she not know? He woke up screaming with horror several times a night, for god's sake. And yet she stuck by him, trying to comfort him, trying to help him. And he was more grateful to her than he could express.
He hadn't told the Doctor what was in his dreams either. But that was probably because he hadn't seen the Doctor at all since their escapade at the Agency. Jack had remained in his room the entire time, and the Doctor hadn't come to see him. But, strangely enough, he didn't blame the Time Lord. If Rose could tell that his regained memories were unpleasant, then the Doctor was more than capable of realising the same. And even if he didn't know the exact details, Jack could understand the Doctor from keeping away from him. After all, why should he want to be near Jack now that he knew Jack had done something terrible? The Captain was just surprised that he hadn't been booted out of the TARDIS on the next planet they passed by.
And yet… When he wasn't dwelling on his memories, Jack could tell that there was something out of place. It had something to do with the way Rose spoke about the Doctor when she said that she had tried yet again to persuade him to come and see Jack, and had yet again failed. The way she said it made it sound like the Doctor thought that he shouldn't come, rather than he wouldn't.
But whatever the reason, part of Jack was glad that the Doctor didn't come. Because, as much as a part of him wanted to see the Time Lord, a bigger part of him didn't. He was ashamed. Ashamed of what he had done. And he didn't think he could take seeing either accusation or pity in the Doctor's eyes. Either of those reactions would undo him completely. And at the moment it was taking every ounce of his willpower just to hold on to his sanity.
However, as he lay there, breathing heavily and with his mind still reeling from the latest round of nightmares, Jack abruptly felt trapped. He had been inside this same room for a week now, and he suddenly couldn't bear the sight of the same four walls any longer. He had to escape, see something different, smell something different, breathe different air. To him, this room now represented a prison cell, and he had to get out.
After he had been wandering the corridors of the TARDIS for about half-an-hour, Jack started to feel a little better. His attack of claustrophobia had left him feeling panicked and disorientated, and he had been ready to run – to leave everything he knew behind and never return. But now he felt calmer, at home again, soothed by the familiar presence of the TARDIS wrapping itself around him.
The time ship seemed to have an infinite number of corridors and rooms. A person could wander for hours, and yet always find their way back to where they wanted to be. You couldn't get lost here. You would always be found, even if the person who found you was yourself.
In this case, Jack had been found by neither Rose nor the Doctor, a fact for which he was eternally grateful. He still couldn't face the Doctor, and he didn't particularly feel up to dealing with Rose's attentions either, as well meaning as they were. He felt like he needed to be alone, despite the fact that this left him with only his memories for company.
But he was beginning to feel a little cold and uncomfortable, having bolted from his room wearing only jogging trousers and a t-shirt. What he needed was somewhere warm and comforting where he could curl up and be alone. Crossing the corridor, he opened the next door he came to, confident that the TARDIS would give him whatever it was he required.
Except that his ideas of what he required didn't quite gel with the TARDIS's, apparently. Okay, so he got warm in the shape of a roaring log fire. And he got comforting in the form of an old-English style library filled with books and squashy armchairs. What he didn't get was alone. Sitting in one of the armchairs in front of the fire was the Doctor.
"Oh, sorry," muttered Jack, backing hastily towards the door. "I didn't mean to bother you."
"Jack, wait." The Doctor's voice was heavy with some emotion that Jack couldn't quite identify, but there was also a small note of pleading located there too. And it was that which really stopped Jack from leaving. Apparently the Doctor did want to talk to him, after all.
"Well?" he asked a few seconds later, when nothing further was forthcoming from the Time Lord.
The Doctor sighed. "Jack, I'm sorry," he said quietly.
Jack gave a short, bitter rasp of laughter. "Sorry?" he said. "What have you got to be sorry about? As it turns out, you're not the only one with terrible things in your past. You've got nothing to apologise to me for."
"But I do," replied the Doctor. "I don't know what's in your memories, Jack, but I do know that I promised you everything would be fine. And it's not."
For a few seconds Jack was speechless. The Doctor really thought that all this was his fault? Yeah, right. "Well, that's the biggest load of bull I've heard in my entire life, and I've been a Time Agent and a conman," he said finally. "I'm a big boy, Doctor. I knew what I was doing, and I knew what the consequences could be. You could never have changed that."
"But you put your trust in me and I let you down."
"Of course I trusted you. And I still do. You and Rose are the first people I've trusted in a long time, and the outcome of a process that you had no control over isn't going to change that."
Part of Jack still couldn't believe that the Doctor was blaming himself, but the other part of him was just happy that the Doctor wasn't looking at him with disgust and loathing. And Jack knew he should have left it at that, but he couldn't stop the little niggle of doubt from expressing itself.
"You know, it's funny, but the whole time you were convinced I wouldn't want to see you, I was convinced that you wouldn't want to see me." Jack held up his hand to forestall the protest that he could see forming on the Doctor's lips. "You may not know the details of my memories, Doctor, but I think it's pretty clear to everyone that they're not particularly nice. And that something not particularly nice happened during those two years." Jack's face twisted as once again the images of that time floated to the front of his mind. He wondered if he would ever be able to stop thinking about them.
"You're not a bad person, Jack," said the Doctor, rising from his chair and walking over to where the Jack was still hovering halfway between the door and the fire. "I refuse to believe that you could have done something so terrible."
Jack's face twisted again into something between a grimace and a smile. "Try telling that to the residents of Oracle Seti Alpha," he said bitterly. "I'm sure they could tell you some things you don't want to know. If they were still alive, that is. I…"
"Jack, stop," interrupted the Doctor, placing his finger on Jack's lips. "I don't need to know this. Whatever you may have done in the past, you're still a good person now, here in the present. Or, at least, what passes for the present on the TARDIS," he joked. Then, abruptly, he sobered again. "I know you, Jack. Maybe not for very long, but long enough to know that you're not bad, or wicked, or evil, or anything else that you may have convinced yourself of. I know it, Rose knows it, and I think you know it too."
Jack opened his mouth to contradict the Doctor – he still knew that the Time Lord didn't have the full picture – but once again he found himself cut off. Only this time it was because the Doctor was kissing him.
For a full five seconds Jack could do nothing but stand there, amazed at what was happening. Ever since that night in his room when they had hatched the plan to break into the Time Agency, he had suspected that there was something else going on beneath the surface of this entire saga – something that the Doctor was keeping hidden. But he had never called him on it – firstly because there hadn't been time, and then because he had been keeping his distance.
But now the Doctor was kissing him, and suddenly words didn't seem quite so important. Suddenly it was obvious what the Doctor had been hiding.
And suddenly Jack was jolted into action, and he was kissing the Doctor back with as much passion as he could muster. He had a sudden, desperate need to be as close to this strange alien man as was humanly possible. All the fear, all the isolation, all the self-loathing of the past week came rushing out of him, and he clung to the Doctor as though the Time Lord were a lifeline to safety.
The kiss went on for some time, until the Doctor pulled back, looking into Jack's face, startled and yet at the same time somehow unsurprised to see tears in his eyes. "Better?" he asked, smiling.
Jack smiled in return. "A little," he admitted, surprised to realise that it was true. Then his face turned serious. "What does this mean, Doctor?"
"It means whatever you want it to mean," replied the Doctor.
"I think…I want it to mean more."
"I don't want to push you into anything, Jack. I think we've pretty much established what my feelings on the subject are, but you can take all the time you need to make your decision."
"I don't need any more time," said Jack. "As I said before, I'm a big boy, and I know what I want…you."
The Doctor stirred and smiled. He didn't sleep often, but when he did he always remembered how restful and peaceful it could be, and he also understood why humans were so fond of long lie-ins at the weekend.
Without opening his eyes he reached over to where Jack was lying beside him. Jack's decision had green-lighted some activities that were a little more strenuous than kissing, and the two men had ultimately ended up in the comfortable, if slightly clichéd, position of lying on a sheepskin rug in front of the library's fire, dozing peacefully in each other's arms.
However, Jack apparently wasn't dozing so peacefully any more. When the Doctor's hand didn't find what it sought he opened his eyes, more than a little worried at the Captain's sudden absence.
The fire had died down to just embers, making the room dark and shadowy. When he didn't immediately see Jack, the Doctor's concern increased, and he sat up to get a better look around the room.
"Don't worry, Doctor, I'm right here." Jack's voice came from the deep shadows a few feet from the fireplace, where a mezzanine floor overhung the rest of the room. Looking more closely, the Doctor could see that Jack was slumped in an armchair, staring into the dying flames.
"Are you alright?" Jumping up, the Doctor moved over to kneel in front of Jack.
"No, I'm not."
The Doctor almost recoiled. Jack sounded so bitter and angry that he suddenly wondered if he hadn't made things worse by forcing Jack into something that he wasn't ready for.
Then Jack sighed, and there was a world of misery in that one small sound; a despair that the Doctor could only compare to his own feelings after his people were lost in the Time War.
"I'm sorry, Doctor. I'm not angry with you. I'm angry with myself. Angry at being so gullible, so trusting of the Time Agency that I was led to do what I did. They called, and I jumped. And now millions of people are dead because of me."
"You shouldn't be so literal, Jack. Whatever happened is the Agency's fault, not yours."
"Literal? You don't think I should be literal? Doctor, I pressed the button that activated a weapon that killed over half-a-billion people. How much more literal can you get?"
And suddenly the Doctor was very still – so still that if Jack had had his eyes closed he wouldn't have known that the Time Lord was even there. There was no movement of the eyes, no sound of breathing, not even a pulse in the fingertips that were resting on Jack's knee.
"No." And in that single word Jack perceived all of the Doctor's belief in him and his incapability of committing such an act.
But the Doctor was living in a dream-world, and as much as Jack wanted to go and live there with him, unfortunately he couldn't escape his memories any more than he could escape being human.
"I appreciate the sentiment, Doctor," he said quietly. "But you can't deny what's in my head. You may not have seen my memories, but trust me when I say…"
"Then let me see them." The request was so out of left-field that for a moment Jack didn't register what the Doctor had said.
"What?"
"Let me see them. I don't believe that you're a murderer, Jack. And the only thing that will convince me that you are is to see it for myself."
"But how? I know you're not psychic. You might give that impression sometimes, but you can't read my mind. Or can you?" Jack eyed the Doctor, suddenly worried.
The Doctor smiled slightly. "No, Jack. I can't read your mind. But I can see things that you allow me to see."
Jack was still confused. "What?" he asked again.
"The TARDIS helps," the Doctor explained. "The ship kind of acts like a bridge between our minds. But, as I said, I can only see what you choose to show me. Such as the memories of what happened on Oracle Seti Alpha."
"So I think about the memories, and you see them too," Jack clarified.
"Exactly."
"Which means that I would have to voluntarily visualise what I did. Sounds like a barrel of laughs."
"It won't be easy," the Doctor admitted. "But it's the only way I'll know the truth. And I'm not going stop believing in you until I see it with my own eyes."
Jack sighed. "Okay," he said. "Although I'm not sure why I'm letting you do this. I mean, once you see that what I've said is true, you're hardly going to want me around any more. And, strangely enough, I don't really want to be separated from you right at the moment."
Smiling, the Doctor leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on Jack's lips. "Jack, I'm not going to desert you," he said. "I've said it before and I'll say it again – no matter what you've done in the past, you're a good person now. A good person that I've got used to having around."
Jack smiled back, but he still wasn't entirely convinced. As much as he wanted to believe the Doctor's words, he wouldn't blame the Time Lord one iota if he kicked him out of the TARDIS two seconds after he had seen his memories.
"Okay, so how does this work?" he asked, trying to banish his melancholy thoughts. "Do I have to be connected to the TARDIS in some way?"
"Only mentally," replied the Doctor. "All we have to do is be touching in some way, and then you relax and open your mind to the TARDIS. The ship does the rest."
"Right, so how exactly should we be touching?" There was a faintly suggestive note in Jack's voice, one that the Doctor was happy to hear. Much as the Time Agent's constant flirting could be trying at times, Jack just wouldn't be Jack without it, and the Doctor had been starting to worry that all this stress was going to leave a permanent scar on the Captain's character, one that would alter him irrevocably. Still, now wasn't really the time for messing around, and the Doctor refused to be drawn into the banter.
"Holding hands will be fine," he said firmly, sitting down on the floor and gesturing for Jack to sit opposite him. "Now, close your eyes and try to feel the TARDIS."
"And what if I can't?" enquired Jack. "I've never really been one for sitting still, or meditating, or anything like that."
"Just try," said the Doctor, allowing a small trace of exasperation to colour his voice.
"Okay, okay," replied Jack. "I'll try." Sighing, he closed his eyes, trying to give the impression that he was following the Doctor's instructions. It didn't really help that the last thing he really wanted to be doing was voluntarily remembering what he had done. His confidence that this was going to work was waning by the second.
But almost immediately he felt the calming influence of the TARDIS surrounding him, a presence that was always there, lingering in the back of his mind, but never usually acknowledged. And somewhere he could also feel the Doctor, his eternal link to the TARDIS an extra dimension to the presence that helped Jack to relax.
Jack? Are you alright?
It was the Doctor's voice. But the words seemed to be forming directly inside Jack's head, instead of being heard in the normal way. It was a weird, but not entirely unpleasant, sensation, and Jack replied in kind.
I'm fine. I can feel the TARDIS – and you – in my head.
That's how it should be. Now, open your mind to the memories. I'll be able to see everything you see. But try to visualise them coherently, in the right order, so I don't get lost. And remember, if you want to stop, just stop. I don't want any harm to come to you.
I know. I trust you, Doctor. And then, taking a deep breath, Jack let the memories come…
Jack walked down the corridor towards Director Regis's office. Only thirty minutes earlier the Director himself had called Jack personally, informing him that he had an important mission for him and wanted to see him directly. Jack was a little worried by this personal communiqué on the part of the Director. Such a summons could only mean that something big was happening, something with potentially dire consequences.
Pausing outside Regis's office for a few seconds, Jack took a few deep breaths and straightened his uniform. Then he knocked on the door.
A female voice instructed him to come in, and he stepped into the outer office. Director Regis's secretary looked up as he entered.
"Ah, Agent Harkness, go straight through. The Director is expecting you."
Taking another couple of breaths, Jack followed her gesture across the outer office and into the inner sanctum.
"Agent Harkness. Good to see you. Please, take a seat. Can I get you a drink?" Director Regis was being too friendly, and Jack knew immediately that he was about be asked to do something incredibly important, and possibly incredibly dangerous. He felt all his senses go on full alert at the prospect.
"No drink for me, thank you, sir. I'd prefer to get right down to business."
Regis's hand paused halfway to the drinks cabinet. He looked momentarily surprised at Jack's abruptness, but then sighed and moved back to his desk.
"Can't put anything past you, can I, Harkness?" he said. "Right, let's get straight to the point then."
"What's going on, sir?" asked Jack.
The Director tapped a few keys on his computer, and then swivelled the screen around so it was facing Jack. On it was displayed a planet that looked a little like Earth, with green continents and blue oceans.
"This is Oracle Seti Alpha," said Regis. "A planet in the Mardan System on the fourth arm of the galaxy. Doesn't look particularly threatening, does it?" he asked, on seeing Jack's doubtful look.
Jack shook his head. "No, sir."
"Well, appearances can be deceiving. We've recently discovered that the people of this planet are experimenting with time-travel technology. More than experimenting, in fact. They're actively changing their timeline in order to make themselves more powerful in that part of the galaxy. I'm sure I don't have to tell you how dangerous that can be, do I, Harkness?"
Dumbstruck, Jack could only shake his head again. Of course, timelines on all sorts of planets were often changed due to the Time Agency's actions, but only in the most minor ways, and only after very careful consideration and planning by the Agency. But such big changes, created by a people who to all intents and purposes had no idea what they were doing, could have major repercussions for the entire galaxy.
"Only a handful of races have ever properly mastered the art of time-travel and time manipulation," continued the Director. "And as such, it is up to those races to police the time-travelling attempts of other civilisations. The Time Agency was set up for just such a purpose. And yet in this case we cannot solve the problem on our own. We are not big enough to handle an entire planet. Therefore, I've arranged a contact for you on Corzad Prime. Her name is Ariane Rolan, and she's the top agent at their own Time Agency."
Jack found his voice. "But, sir, if I may, why am I being sent on this mission? You and I both know that I'm not exactly the model agent."
"You may not always stick to the rules, Agent Harkness, but you have ingenuity and instinct. And I think in this case those qualities are going to be more useful than the ability to follow protocols and orders. Now, you're meeting Agent Rolan in three days on her planet. Use that time to educate yourself about Oracle Seti Alpha and its inhabitants."
Jack stood up and saluted. His head was spinning, but nonetheless he was pleased by Director Regis's confidence in him.
"Oh, and Harkness? I don't need to tell you how important this mission is. We need to nip this in the bud right now. Do whatever it takes. And I mean, whatever it takes"
Three days later, and Jack was sitting at a table in a busy piazza in the city of Kelim on Corzad Prime. He was waiting for Agent Rolan to show up for their meeting, and she was perilously close to being late. Not that he minded. He was having a very pleasant time drinking coffee – or, at least, the closest Corzad equivalent to coffee – and watching the world go by. He didn't often get the chance to just sit and relax – not that he normally wanted to, in any case. He was very much the kind of guy who needed to be out and about doing things and having fun. But sometimes he just liked to watch the world move on without him for a few moments, although he was always on the lookout for the next piece of action and excitement, all the same.
And then, right on time, today's piece of excitement sat down at his table, in the shape of Agent Ariane Rolan. Jack had of course seen the picture in her file, so he knew it was her without having to ask. What he hadn't been prepared for was how little justice her photo did her. She was slim yet curvy, with jet black hair falling halfway to her knees, dazzling amber eyes, and the faint purplish cast to her skin that was possessed by all the natives of Corzad Prime. She was altogether an exotic, but very appealing, package.
"Agent Harkness. Good to finally meet you. I've read your file and I must say, you present an intriguing character."
"Likewise," replied Jack. "I'm very much looking forward to working with you. And I think we can dispense with the formalities, don't you? Just plain Jack will do for me."
"And you can call me Ariane," acknowledged the other Time Agent. "It makes more sense anyway, considering the situations we're likely to find ourselves in."
"Such as?" enquired Jack.
"Such as going undercover as a married couple when we visit Oracle Seti Alpha," replied Ariane. "A married couple from Remoa."
"Ah," said Jack, seeing the light. "Remoa. Home to the rich and famous of the galaxy. Anyone coming from there must have pots of money to throw around. Pots of money that I'm sure the officials of Oracle Seti Alpha would love to persuade us to part with."
"Exactly," confirmed Ariane. "We'll be treated like VIPs – given anything and everything we ask for."
"Including a tour of their Science Directorate," finished Jack. "Well," he added, "I've been on plenty of undercover missions before, but I must say that I think I'm going to enjoy this one the most…"
"Jack," said Ariane, and there was a warning tone in her voice that matched the expression of amused exasperation on her face. "I like you already, and I think we're going to work together very well, but I'll say this right now: there is going to be no funny business."
Jack frowned, pouting slightly. "I can't imagine what you mean," he said, holding his hands up in mock protestation. Then his face took on a serious expression. "Don't worry," he continued. "Message received and understood. I may be a bit of an unorthodox operator, but I'm not going to do anything to jeopardise the success of this mission." Then he grinned. "Can't blame a guy for trying though, can you?"
Ariane couldn't help it – she laughed. "No, I suppose not," she replied. "Full marks for bravado. But, moving on to more pressing matters, we need to start cultivating our image as a wealthy young couple. I've managed to requisition a few things that will help us with that."
"And those would be…"
"Well, first thing's first – a Remoan jet."
Jack's jaw dropped. "No way!" he exclaimed. "You have got no idea how long I've wanted to fly one of those things. I mean, hopping around in time and space in an Agency time ship is exciting and all, but there's something about flying really, really fast in a straight line that just does it for me, you know?"
Ariane laughed again. "I suspected I might get that reaction," she said. "That's why I'm leaving all the flying to you."
A month passed, and Jack and Ariane settled into their role as a wealthy Remoan couple. Luckily, Remoa was a very cosmopolitan world, so no one questioned the fact that one of them was in fact human and the other Corzad, and neither was a native Remoan. They cultivated contacts, mingled with representatives of the highest government agencies, and spent money like water. Jack couldn't ever remember having so much fun on a mission. He had unlimited funds, a beautiful co-worker, and the chance to fly a Remoan jet whenever he felt like it. Things didn't get much better. Still, he never lost sight of their objective, and was actually beginning to get a little frustrated at his and Ariane's lack of progress. Schmoozing the officials of Oracle Seti Alpha was all very well, but they seemed to have hit a brick wall when it came to finding out anything about the government's time experiments.
All that was about to change, however.
One evening, thirty-three days after arriving on Oracle Seti Alpha, Jack was sitting in the living area of the house he and Ariane had rented, reviewing once again all the information they had gained on the planet's government. He heard the door slam, but didn't really pay it much attention until Ariane sat down on the couch opposite him.
"We're in, Jack!"
"In where?"
"The Science Directorate! Our clearance finally came through. Governor Quidam just informed me. And you may be sure that I let him know I was very displeased about the delay. We're going to get the VIP treatment. They'll show us anything we want!"
"Whoa, hang on a sec," said Jack. "We can't just waltz in there and demand to see their time-travel technology. Don't you think that would make them just a tiny bit suspicious?" Then he chuckled. "Listen to me. Normally I'd be the one going in all guns blazing, but now I'm advocating caution. I gotta tell you, Ariane, I didn't think I'd find anyone who worked more outside the box than I did. But you've got me beat, hands down!"
Ariane laughed in return. "Sorry," she apologised. "I guess I'm just excited that we might finally be getting somewhere. You might have noticed that I don't cope well with inaction."
"Join the club," replied Jack. "Well, we won't have to cope with it any more. I've got a good feeling about our upcoming visit."
Trailing after Governor Quidam down yet another clinically white corridor, Jack sighed quietly and tried not to look bored. So far he and Ariane had seen just about every scientific breakthrough the Science Directorate had made in the last five years, but there had been not a single mention of time-travel. Suddenly, demanding to see what they were really here for didn't seem like such a crazy idea after all.
"And now I will show you our most recent, and greatest, achievement," announced the Governor, interrupting Jack's thoughts. "If you'll follow me through here, you will see what our scientists have been working on for the past year. Of course, this is top secret, so I will have to ask you not to speak of what you've seen. But I'm sure people such as yourselves appreciate the need for discretion."
Ariane smiled and nodded. "Of course, Governor Quidam," she replied. "Be assured, our lips are sealed."
The Governor looked pleased, and then proceeded to lead them through an unmarked door and into another laboratory.
Jack's jaw all-but dropped. In front of him was a very sophisticated time machine, one almost as high-tech as those possessed by his and Ariane's respective Time Agencies. He had sincerely hoped that the reports gathered by Director Regis had been exaggerated, but one look at this device proved that they had been absolutely correct, and had perhaps even underestimated the threat.
Ariane noticed Jack's look of shock and elbowed him discreetly in the ribs. "How interesting," she said brightly to the Governor. "What exactly does it do?"
"It is a time-travelling device," replied Quidam. "Only a very simple one, I'm afraid, but we are quite proud of it. At the moment we are conducting tests to see how effective it is. In fact, would you like to see a demonstration?"
"Oh, very much," said Ariane, and Jack nodded enthusiastically in support.
The Governor smiled. "Well, let's see what we can do then, shall we? Professor Halor?" A short man in a white coat hurried over to them. "Arrange a demonstration, please. Nothing too fancy, just enough to impress our honoured guests."
Professor Halor inclined his head slightly. "As you wish, Governor." He proceeded to enlist his assistant as a volunteer. "Now, as the Governor has told you, this device only works in a limited fashion, so I will transport my assistant here five minutes into the future only. As the time is now 12:37, he should reappear at 12:42." Halor proceeded to rapidly input some calculations into his computer, and Jack and Ariane watched as a time vortex formed around the professor's assistant, making him vanish into the time-stream.
The next five minutes passed somewhat nervously. Halor bustled around the device, making sure that everything was calibrated properly, while Ariane questioned him about how it worked. From the very simplistic answers given by the professor to her very simple questions, Jack managed to deduce that the Science Directorate had indeed managed to build a fully functioning time machine, and he was fully expecting Halor's assistant to reappear right on time.
12:42 arrived, and everyone watched as the assistant did indeed reappear within a second time vortex. Jack and Ariane both applauded as he stepped out of the machine and gave a little bow.
"Wonderful, wonderful!" exclaimed Governor Quidam, clapping as well. "And now, if you will excuse me for just a few moments," he continued, addressing the two Time Agents, "I need to have a word with Professor Halor."
As the Governor and the professor moved over to the other side of the room, Ariane went to examine the time machine more closely. Meanwhile, Jack started to move slowly towards Quidam and Halor, anxious to hear what they were talking about. However, before he could very far he was accosted by the professor's assistant.
"I wouldn't do that, if I were you," said the scientist. "It would be very dangerous for you to hear what they are saying."
"Don't worry, I think I can handle it," replied Jack.
"No, you don't understand. Overhearing their conversation would bring your life to a very abrupt end, Agent Harkness."
This time Jack's jaw did drop. "What did you call me?" he hissed.
"Don't worry, I will not blow your cover. My name is Danien Sillow, and I was recruited by your Agency five years ago to keep an eye on Professor Halor and his experiments. It is from me that Director Regis got the reports that Oracle Seti Alpha had perfected its time-travel technology."
"But why didn't Regis tell me about you?"
"We couldn't risk…" Then he abruptly stopped, and Jack turned to see that Governor Quidam and Professor Halor were making their way back over to him.
"Meet me tonight, in the alley off Riathon Street," whispered Danien hurriedly, before moving off to apparently check on some computer readouts.
"Well, I hope have you enjoyed your visit to the Science Directorate?" the Governor addressed Jack.
"Very much indeed," replied Jack. "It's been very enlightening." He took Ariane's arm as she returned from where she had been examining the time machine. "We shall be thinking very seriously about the possibility of making a donation to your government."
"I am very glad to hear that," said Quidam, looking extremely pleased. "And now, if you'll follow me, I'll escort you back to your ship."
Safely ensconced back in the Remoan jet, Ariane couldn't help herself any longer. "Simple, my eye!" she exploded. "That's one of the most sophisticated time machines I've ever seen. If they're allowed to use that for much longer, the whole universe could be in danger, never mind the galaxy!"
"Tell me about it," agreed Jack. "But we may have a way to stop them." He proceeded to tell Ariane all about Danien and what he had said, including that he wanted to meet them that night. "I think he wants to help us," he finished. "He's obviously decided that the time is right to come out of hiding and put a stop to this once and for all."
Ariane nodded. "But we should be careful, Jack," she said. "All this could be a ruse to bring us out into the open. We should proceed with caution."
Later that night, Jack and Ariane stood at the end of Riathon Street, waiting until it was safe to approach the alley. By mutual agreement they had waited until it grew dark, hoping that would make them less conspicuous. Unfortunately, the nightlife in this part of town definitely lived up to its name. Even though it was dark, there were still plenty of people around. The two Time Agents were forced to act like a couple on a date in order to remain incognito. Linking arms, they strolled up Riathon Street, hoping that they could duck into the alley when no one was looking. However, as they reached the turning into the alley, a group of rather drunk women stopped right next to it, all giggling hysterically, and all looking unashamedly at Jack as he walked past. Normally he would have preened under all the attention, but right now he wished that all the women would go away and leave him and Ariane to do their job. He wasn't entirely sure why Danien would pick this part of town for a secret meeting. It didn't seem like the easiest place to remain undetected. Then again, maybe he'd thought they'd be less obvious if they stuck to the populated areas of the city.
As they reached the other end of Riathon Street, Jack started to wonder how they were going to turn around and walk back without looking obvious. But then Ariane gave an exclamation.
"My earring! It's fallen out! Darling, we have to go back and look for it."
Silently congratulating his partner for her ingenuity, Jack led Ariane back down the street, the pair of them scanning the ground as if looking for the lost earring. As they again approached the entrance to the alley, he cast a surreptitious look around to see if anyone was nearby this time. But luck was with them, finally. The street was, for a few moments, deserted, and the pair quickly ducked into the alley and out of sight.
However, that appeared to be the only piece of luck they were going to get that evening. Half-an-hour passed, and there was no sign of Danien.
"What time did he say he was coming?" Ariane asked Jack.
"He didn't," replied Jack shortly. "I guess we just have to wait."
But another thirty minutes passed, and then another, and still the scientist didn't appear. Silence fell in Riathon Street as all the night-revellers finally went home, and still Jack and Ariane lurked in the alley, waiting for their contact. Eventually, however, they were forced to admit that he wasn't coming.
"I don't understand," said Jack frustratedly. "He seemed like he really wanted to help."
"Maybe he got cold feet," offered Ariane. "He might have decided that it was too dangerous to reveal himself."
"Oh well," sighed Jack. "I guess we're going to have to come up with another way to put a stop to the Science Directorate's time-travelling, that's all."
The two of them walked back down the alley, checked that Riathon Street was still empty, and set off back to their house…
…where a scene of chaos and destruction greeted them.
It was as if a very small, extremely localised, bomb had gone off. Furniture was overturned, all their paperwork was scattered around, and their computers were virtually unrecognisable twisted lumps of metal and glass. Jack and Ariane looked at each other, both thinking the same thing.
"So, I guess he didn't get cold feet," said Ariane.
"Definitely not," replied Jack. "Someone must have overheard our conversation in the lab. They probably had ten security cameras trained on us the whole time. Damn!" he swore. "How could I have been so stupid?!"
"It's not your fault, Jack," said Ariane. "You couldn't have controlled the situation, and at that moment it was too good an opportunity to pass up." She looked around at the remains of their living room. "One thing's for sure," she continued. "We can't stay here. The government knows who we are now. We're going to have to act fast, and drastically, if we're going to pull this off after all."
"What did you have in mind?" asked Jack, upset that things had got to this stage, but seeing the logic in Ariane's words.
"Have you got the keys to the jet on you?"
Jack dug them out of his pocket. "Never go anywhere without them, luckily. But how is a pleasure jet going to help us now?"
"It's not just a pleasure jet," admitted Ariane. "It has a few, er…modifications."
"Such as?"
"Such as the capability to fly in orbit, and weapons powerful enough to destroy the Science Directorate from that height."
"Well, why didn't you say so before?" exclaimed Jack. "I'll admit, it's not quite the outcome I – or the Time Agency – was hoping for, but Director Regis told me to do whatever it took to get the job done, and I intend to take him at his word."
Floating several miles up in the Remoan jet, Jack looked out of the window of the craft and mused on how Earth-like Oracle Seti Alpha looked with its oceans and continents spread over the planet's surface. The orbit of the Remoan jet had carried them to the other side of the planet for the moment, where it was still daytime, but if he craned his head at an angle Jack could see the line of approaching darkness on the surface that signalled that they would soon be in the correct position for their assault on the Science Directorate. The two agents had agreed that it would be best to strike at night, when the Directorate would be empty of staff, and casualties would therefore be minimal.
However, as he looked at the planet below, Jack felt a wave of unease sweep over him. Suddenly he wasn't at all sure that they were doing the right thing. Was this really the only way to carry out their mission? Had they been too hasty in coming to this decision?
"Jack?"
Jack started out of his reverie to find Ariane watching him somewhat sympathetically.
"Feeling nervous?" she asked.
Jack nodded. "It's not like I'm unaccustomed to violence or danger, or anything," he replied. "But very few of my missions tend to end with a large explosion. It's a little unsettling."
"Do you want me to pull the trigger?"
"No, it's alright, I'll do it," said Jack, pulling himself together. "After all, it was my Time Agency that initiated this mission. I should be the one to finish it."
Moving away from the window, he sat himself in the co-pilot's seat and began final checks on the weapons systems. Ariane sat down in the pilot's seat and watched as the navigational array confirmed that they had finally moved into the right position above the darkened half of the planet. Then she looked at Jack.
"Ready?"
Jack took a deep breath. "Ready," he confirmed. "Firing weapons…now." He pushed the button. "Missile is away. Proceeding on target. Ten seconds to impact. Five seconds…four…three…two…one."
Far away below them the missile hit the Science Directorate. Jack and Ariane watched as an explosion, small as it seemed to them, blossomed into life, an orange globe of light on the surface of the planet.
Suddenly Jack felt his unease return. Something wasn't right here. He craned his neck to see out of the window…
…just in time to see the fireball, instead of fading, shoot out in all directions, rapidly engulfing the entire city, then the region, then the continent, and finally the whole planet. The speed of it was uncanny, and within a matter of moments the entire surface was covered in fire…
Jack opened his eyes, panic engulfing him. He could feel his breath coming in short gasps, and his heart pounding in his chest.
"Jack. Jack!" And then the Doctor was there, hugging him, trying to protect him from what they had both just witnessed. Gradually Jack felt his pulse slow and his breathing calm, until he was able to stop the shaking that was wracking his body.
"I'm sorry, Jack. I'm so sorry. "I shouldn't have…"
"Now do you believe me?" asked Jack, interrupting the Doctor's litany of apologies. "Now do you believe that I could really do such an awful thing?"
Shocked into silence by the bitterness and anger in Jack's voice, the Doctor pulled back, looking into his face from arm's length.
"It wasn't your fault, Jack," he said at last. "You couldn't know what the outcome would be."
"No," admitted Jack. "But it doesn't change the fact that a whole planet is dead, and it's my doing. Most of those people were innocent, Doctor. They probably had no idea that their government was changing their lives and their history."
The Doctor looked thoughtful. "What happened next?" he asked suddenly.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, that was an awful thing that happened, but it doesn't seem like the kind of thing that would warrant taking two years of your memories."
Jack looked a little uncomfortable. "Well, I kind of had a nervous breakdown," he said slowly. "After Ariane and I had returned to our respective agencies and made our reports, I had a lot of trouble coping with what happened. I started acting up, taking unnecessary risks, jeopardising missions – anything to try and forget, basically. In the end I became a liability. But apparently Director Regis didn't want to lose that 'ingenuity and instinct' that he had seen in me. So he decided to take the rather radical step of erasing my memory of the whole incident, including all the aftermath, to try and get me back on the straight and narrow. Unfortunately, it backfired on them a little. In fact, I can't believe they didn't see the flaw in their plan. Obviously I wanted to know what was in the memories I had lost. They of course wouldn't tell me, so I decided to leave the Time Agency. Or rather, go AWOL."
But the Doctor still looked thoughtful, and even a bit unconvinced by Jack's explanation. "And what about the words?" he enquired.
Confused, Jack frowned. "What words?" he asked. He was starting to become a little annoyed by the Doctor's focus on what seemed to be trivial elements of the situation. Not that he particularly wanted the Doctor to focus on the negative aspects of his regained past, but the Time Lord had the uncanny ability of not paying attention to what was really important. Or so it seemed.
"The words you always shout out in your nightmares just before you wake up." But when Jack still looked puzzled, the Doctor realised he had to clarify. "'No. Don't. Don't make me. I can't,'" he said flatly.
Jack shook his head. "No, don't remember anything like that," he said. "Certainly no one was forcing me to pull the trigger and destroy that planet."
"And yet it's like you're resisting your actions as you dream about them," mused the Doctor. "If you're that desperate to stop yourself now, why didn't you stop yourself then? Something's not right here. Something's not right at all."
Crouched down by the central console, Jack peered underneath it, trying to determine what had gone wrong this time. The TARDIS was far and away the most advanced ship he had ever been on, but it required a lot of maintenance to keep it in top-notch condition.
Rose was sat nearby, alternately reading a magazine and watching him work. Jack was grateful for the company, but hoped that she wouldn't try and strike up a conversation. He wasn't feeling in a very talkative mood right at the moment.
Since the Doctor had seen his memories, Jack had been feeling marginally better about things, helped of course by the fact that his and the Time Lord's relationship had moved to the next level. He was finally starting to believe that maybe he wasn't the awful person he had thought he was. What he didn't believe were the Doctor's assertions that there was something wrong with his memories. On that issue he still thought that the Doctor was clutching at straws. The fact that the Doctor had started looking at him like he was a science experiment every time they were in the same room wasn't helping matters, and had in fact led Jack to start avoiding him – again – over the past few hours. He knew this scrutiny wasn't meant to make him feel uncomfortable, and heaven knew he intensely disliked not being around the Doctor, but he just couldn't put up with any more of that dissecting gaze.
"Whatcha doing?"
Jack sighed. Evidently Rose had decided that her magazine wasn't that interesting after all, and had elected to annoy him instead. He opened his mouth to give her a long and technical answer that he hoped would put her off, when he was interrupted by the Doctor entering the control room.
"Jack, I've got it! Jack! Jack?"
For a second Jack was tempted to remain out of sight behind the console and let the Doctor think he wasn't there, but then he realised that Rose would probably give him away if he didn't show himself. Sighing again more heavily, he straightened up and announced his presence.
"I'm here, Doctor. What have you 'got'?"
"The answer to your prayers! Your memories are fake, Jack. Completely made up. An illusion. A work of fiction. I mean, there are loads of things wrong with them. That undercover agent at the Science Directorate, for a start. Why on earth wouldn't the Agency have told you about him? Of course he would have been useful to you – no question. But you were left to find him on your own, when knowing about him earlier could have saved you a lot of trouble. And all this stuff about them making major changes to their timeline is complete bollocks. I would have known about something like that. It would have created ripples in time – big ones – and I would have felt those. But I didn't. Therefore, it never happened."
"Hang on. Just wait a minute." Jack held up a hand to stop the flow of words. "That's a nice idea, Doctor, but don't you think you might be trying just a little too hard to find a solution? There could be any number of reasons why the Agency didn't tell me about Danien. Not wanting me to try and contact him and blow his cover, for example. And with regard to the time ripples, you're only one Time Lord, Doctor. There's no way you could possibly identify everything that's going on in the time vortex. Maybe if the rest of your people were still around it would have been noticed, but you alone can't keeps tabs on everything. At some point, Doctor, you're just going to have to accept what's happened. Accept that this is who I am and this is what I've done. It ain't pretty, but it's me."
For a second the Doctor looked deflated, and a little pained at the mention of his people. Then he broke into a grin. "Nope," he replied, showing his customary stubbornness. "Never going to happen. Besides, I have proof that your memories aren't real, as well as speculation, if you'll let me show it to you."
Sighing again, Jack gave in. The Doctor was an excitable guy, but the Captain had rarely seen him this animated and enthusiastic about something. And besides, he couldn't prevent the small kernel of hope that had ignited inside him at the possibility that he might not be a mass-murderer after all.
"Okay, so what do we do this time?"
"I need to see your memories again," said the Doctor. "Don't worry, not all of them," he added, upon seeing Jack's face fall. "Just a couple of select moments, enough to confirm that I'm right." He sat cross-legged on the floor, and Jack sat opposite him. Rose stood off to one side, watching curiously. Neither of the men had requested privacy, and she wasn't about to miss this for the world.
The Doctor took Jack's hands, and just for a moment Jack allowed himself to take comfort in the feel of the Doctor's skin on his. Then he closed his eyes and tried to empty his mind of everything but the influence of the TARDIS.
Jack? Can you hear me?
I can hear you.
I need you go back to the beginning. Show me that first meeting in Director Regis's office.
Okay. Jack was slightly confused by the Doctor's desire to see that part of the memory, of all things, but he complied without a question. Once again he walked down the corridor, knocked on the door, and was shown into the Director's office. He sat down and again refused Regis's offer of a drink. Then he was shown the image of Oracle Seti Alpha on the computer screen, and told its name by the Director.
Stop. That's all I need from this part. Now, can you skip forward to the bit where you're looking out of the jet's window from orbit? I just need to be absolutely sure.
Still wondering what the Doctor was getting at, Jack obliged. Once again the oceans and continents of Oracle Seti Alpha were spread out below him, and he felt that same wave of unease wash over him.
Okay, that's it. You can stop now, Jack. We don't need to go any further.
Puzzled, Jack opened his eyes. As far as he could tell, the Doctor hadn't requested to see anything of particular significance, and he was at a loss to understand how this was going to prove that his memories were fake.
"That's it?" asked Rose, her voice echoing Jack's own sense of disappointment. "But you didn't do anything. You hardly even got started before you were done."
"That was all I needed," said the Doctor, and when Jack looked at him he was surprised to see that the Doctor was once again wearing his trademark manic grin, as if all his Christmases and birthdays had come at once.
But when the Captain's face remained blank, the grin faltered a little and the Doctor tutted with annoyance. "You know, sometimes I think it's a curse to be quite this clever," he said. "No one ever has a clue what I'm talking about. The planet!" he exclaimed, after a pause. "It's not real."
"What do you mean, it's not real?" asked Jack. "It looked real enough to me."
"Ah, but that's because it was supposed to," replied the Doctor. "But it was actually made up of lots of bits from lots of different planets. Now, I'm not necessarily saying that I've heard of every planet in the universe, but I was a bit suspicious when the name Oracle Seti Alpha didn't ring even the faintest of bells. And it turns out that's because it's a complete fake! That mountain range across the north-eastern continent, for example. Actually the Neireid Mountain Chain from Molox Five. And the large lake near the equator? Lake Bongo from Bilkan Simera. I can show you a map if you like. And did you notice the gulf stretching all the way to the south pole? Really the Reijak Fjord from Hantoo Vitor. The…"
"Okay, okay, okay," said Jack, jumping in before the Doctor could demonstrate the entirety of his knowledge of intergalactic geography. "I believe you. I believe you, Doctor." Then he paused, thinking about what he had just said. "I…believe you," he said again slowly. "I really do. Which means…that you must be right. It's all made up. I didn't do that terrible thing. I'm not a mass-murderer."
"No, Jack, you're not." The Doctor had stepped up to him, and now put his hand under Jack's chin, lifting his head so he could look into his eyes. "I never believed that for a second. And now you can believe it too." He kissed Jack softly, tasting the salt on the other man's lips as tears trickled down his cheeks. Both men could have stayed in that moment forever, except for one tiny problem.
"Er…excuse me?" Rose cleared her throat, trying not to be indiscreet, but at the same time needing to point something out. She was a little shocked by the pair's display of affection, but was quickly getting over it in the face of a rather more important issue.
Jack and the Doctor drew apart and looked at her.
"Aren't we back to square one now?" she continued, somewhat hesitantly. "Okay, so you've proved that Jack's memories are fake, Doctor, but he still doesn't know what really happened during those two years."
And there it was. That one little problem that would prevent any of them from getting any peace of mind until it was solved.
Jack turned to Rose. "It doesn't matter," he said, trying to put a brave face on things. "And besides, we've run out of options. The information wasn't in the Agency archives, and their technology can't drag it out of the recesses of my brain, so I guess I'll just have to live with not knowing."
"We haven't run out of options." The Doctor's voice was quiet, and a little hesitant, as if he wasn't quite sure what the reaction to his words would be. "There is one more thing we could try."
"Well, let's do it then!" exclaimed Rose. "What are we waiting for?"
"It's extremely dangerous," replied the Doctor. "So dangerous that I wouldn't have even mentioned it if it wasn't Jack's last chance."
"Well, what is it?" asked Jack, although he had a sneaking suspicion he already knew.
"You look into the heart of the TARDIS."
