AN
Sorry that Chapter 14 took so long to get posted, Iwas having some inspiration trouble. On that fact I may have apologise for the amount of mindless fluff in this chapter, but according to my beta its all good so Ihope you enjoy this chapter anyway. Thanks to my reviewers...oh wait never mind.
Thanks to my Beta, even though she had endless fun laughing at my mistakes.
Disclaimer: I do not own nor ever will any of the characters,quotes or plotlines you may recognise from the TV show 'Lost'.
Chapter 14
Alexa sat in the caves listening to Jack and Sayid talk about something. She had longed since ceased paying any attention to what it actually was, as she was pretty sure they had held this exact conversation at least six times before. Why did she even bother? She watched as the young boy Walt turned pages of a comic book obviously enthralled, and Alexa was finding it hard to mask her jealousy. Anything was more interesting than this. She didn't have a clue what the comic was about, but after deciding that Sayid and Jack wouldn't miss her she moved over to talk to Walt.
The boy looked up as she moved over, and she caught his expression of slight distrust.
"Hey, sorry to be a pain, but I couldn't help noticing the comic you were reading. And well I couldn't take any more of that." She said waving her hand towards Jack and Sayid. Walt laughed slightly and she saw his eyes shine a little as she took interest in the comic. He moved round so that she could look at it.
"I can't read it." He said with a resigned sigh "But the pictures are cool." She looked at the comic and the picture of a polar bear Walt had been looking at, and she didn't miss its obvious resemblance to the ones she herself had seen in the jungle.
"I'm not surprised, I doubt many people here can" She said indicating the foreign words which were littered across the pages. Alexa was never really great at languages: she had learnt Arabic out of necessity not choice, so she really had no chance deciphering the words in Walt's comics, but he was right the pictures were cool.
"You have a point though, the pictures are great."
Walt looked at her, and Alexa pondered the look she had seen in the ten year olds eyes. It was a look of clarity and something deeper; she doubted she had seen that look very often and certainly not on somebody Walt's age. Alexa wasn't really great with kids either, it was another thing in her life that she really didn't understand. She wondered how she had spent so long as a child and still had so little knowledge of them. Alexa also doubted that in any part of her life had she really yearned to be a mother. True she had a lot of time left yet, or maybe not thinking about the dangers of living on this island, but in truth Alexa had never really stopped to think about her future that much, probably because she had been afraid, still, another part of her just wanted to live each day as it came, to just see what tomorrow would bring.
Alexa pondered once again the changes that just being here had wrought upon her again, as she sat with Walt and stared at the pictures in a comic book neither of them could read. The silence was neither awkward nor particularly comfortable, it just was. Their peace was disrupted by the arrival of Michael; Walt's father; another person who held no great predilection towards Alexa. It wasn't that she actually done anything, it was more than likely the easy friendship she held with Sawyer, and her unsociable personality, along with the possibility of Boone's rumour spreading ability. Michael was giving Alexa extremely untrusting glances as he moved over to talk to Walt. Not wanting to intrude on their private moment she stood up to move away.
"Thanks Lady." Walt said to her as she stood up.
"It's probably me who should be thanking you, after all you did save me from a terrible fate" She said glancing conspiratorially at Sayid and Jack, she smiled at Walt's giggles along with Michael's confused and still untrusting gaze. "Oh and by the way my names Alexa. Thanks again Walt."
"Bye Alexa." Walt shouted with wave as Alexa walked out of the cave and headed in the direction of the beach.
Alexa sauntered back to the beach in no particular hurry to get there and be assigned a multitude of jobs to do. It wasn't that she was lazy but some of the jobs were mind- numbingly dull, and she wasn't in a rush to start all over again. Nonetheless she had a feeling that if she found Sawyer she might be able to either get out of jobs for at least a few hours, or at best just help him chop wood. Which basically consisted of her sat watching him with his shirt off chopping logs with an axe, as they talked and laughed.
At first it seemed as she was in luck as she arrived on the beach to see Sawyer stood by his make shift home, talking to Kate and Charlie, but as she grew closer she heard the distinctive sound of an argument. They all stopped as Alexa approached, Sawyer looked happy to see her but the other two were far from amused and seemed annoyed that Alexa had interrupted.
"Hey there Lex. How was the geographical debate?" Sawyer asked her, a smirk evident on his lips. He was talking about the discussion that she, Sayid and Jack were supposed to be having. After Sayid had managed to decipher at least some of Rousseau maps, he had decided to see what he and Jack could piece together of people's knowledge as well. Alexa had been included after her theories on their position on the globe, which both Jack and Sayid had said were logical, therefore they had assumed she may be able to help them in some other way. Alexa had been helpful to start with, but after the conversation seemed to have started over for about the fourth time Alexa had just longed to be elsewhere. After all: where was discussing the exact same thing thirty six times going to get any of them?
"Boring as hell… and don't you dare tell me I told you so because I will be forced to hurt you." Alexa said. Her voice was serious, but she knew Sawyer had easily caught the jest in it, and she sighed at her lack of composure as he simply laughed at her before smiling.
"Told you so." He whispered as he pulled her closer.
"Now you're asking for it." She whispered back as his lips moved closer to hers, but before Alexa could feel his lips upon hers and the sweet oblivion which it brought her to, Kate's voice brought them both back to reality.
"However disgustingly sweet this is, can we please get back to what we were talking about." Kate said giving them both a disapproving glance. Sawyer frowned before looking at Alexa giving her a wolfish smile and leaning in and whispering in her ear:
"Later." Alexa couldn't help but fight disappointment slightly, and then laughed at her own childishness, she was acting like some lovesick teenager.
Instantly Charlie started shouting at Sawyer again, with Kate's comments mingled between them. Alexa could hardly understand a word of what they were saying.
"Ok guys stop. What's the problem?" Alexa was instantly assailed by Charlie's voice telling her about Claire's diary and about how Sawyer must have it. Alexa sighed as she saw the mischievous glint in Sawyer's eyes. Oh he had it, and contrary to what he had led Charlie to believe he hadn't read it and she doubted that he ever would. He was baiting Charlie, and by the looks of things he was being extremely successful. She glared at Sawyer before moving forward and whispering in his ear.
"Just give him the goddamn thing Sawyer, because you still owe me from before." she saw instantly that she had caught his attention, and his eyes darkened somewhat as he looked at her. She shivered slightly under his gaze, and it wasn't from the cold. Sawyer's grip tightened on her hand as if afraid she was going to disappear before he turned back to Charlie and Kate.
"Here" he said tossing Charlie the diary, but he couldn't help one last comment as Charlie was about to walk away "You might want to check out August sixteenth, you'll find something to interest you there." Charlie glared at them both before walking away and Alexa couldn't help but feel annoyed; some people just didn't get when you were doing them a favour. Kate was glaring at Sawyer as well but unlike Charlie she didn't look ready to leave.
"You didn't read it did you." Kate asked, but Sawyer wasn't really paying much attention as he had started staring at Alexa. Amusedly Alexa indicated over her shoulder to where Kate still stood, and Sawyer annoyed, turned to her.
"Just didn't get around to it yet Freckles." He said harshly and then turned back to Alexa.
"Sure whatever Sawyer" Kate said before she too walked away, not before shooting Alexa and Sawyer a disapproving glance, and Alexa was sure she caught a glimpse of something else; envy maybe?
"Now where were we?" Sawyer questioned as he once again stepped closer to Alexa, removing any space there was between them. Before Alexa could even come up with a witty response, Sawyer's lips were on hers. The sweet oblivion which Alexa had been thinking of before was quick in coming, as Sawyer pressed closer and the kiss deepened. Rational thoughts had all but flown from Alexa's mind, as all she could concentrate on was the man in front of her and the feel of his lips against hers, along with the feeling deep inside, something she didn't really understand. Alexa felt the faint familiar feeling of fear, as Sawyer pulled away and they both took breath, but as his lips once again descended onto hers, the fear was engulfed by the other more welcome feeling. Whatever it was, Alexa knew she didn't ever want it to go away.
Unfortunately; the feeling may not have left, but she and Sawyer were interrupted several minutes later by a disgusted sigh and then a voice.
"Didn't take heed of my warning Sawyer? Well you never did seem all that bright." Sawyer's lips had long since left Alexa's and she couldn't help but feel disappointment at the lack of contact, yet Sawyer kept her hand in his, as they both sighed recognising Boone's voice. "Didn't I tell you she was lying, cheating whore?" He said as he looked at Alexa with disgust. Surprisingly enough it was this comment that caused Sawyer's other hand to clench tightly, and Alexa saw him restraining his anger, and from the look in Sawyer's eyes she could see he was about ready to kill him. Truth be told Alexa was feeling about the same; not only had Boone insulted her, and Sawyer, he had interrupted the little time they had together in a long time, and it seemed neither she nor Sawyer was pleased. However Alexa knew that killing Boone wasn't going to solve anything, and in a way Boone was justified in his actions. So, instead Alexa gently squeezed Sawyer's hand silently passing on her agreement, and support before turning and addressing him completely disregarding Boone's presence.
"I'll deal with this Sawyer" She held up her hand to stop his objections "Yes I know, and if he insists on being like this after we've talked, then go ahead and beat the hell out of him, but if you could just restrain this once I would greatly appreciate it." She said with a resigned sigh.
"Fine." He said sulkily "But you owe me Lex." He said as he eyes gained a slightly devilish gleam. She moved closer before whispering in his ear.
"Maybe, but you haven't even nearly made up for earlier." She said. They both smiled at each there and Sawyer captured her lips in one parting kiss, before sauntering back to his tent. He turned and glared at Boone, and then looked once at Alexa with a promise in his eyes before walking inside.
Boone had watched the exchange with disgust and Alexa turned ready for a conversation she had been putting off for months.
"Ok Boone we have to talk." She said
"I've said everything I need to say to you" he said disgustedly
"I very much doubt that, being as you seem to have some new and shiny insult every time I see you." She once again held up her hand to stop his objections "Now you're going to listen to what I have to say and once I'm done feel free to comment as much as you want. But for now; just listen. Ok Boone, firstly I owe you an apology, one that's probably long overdue; I can make excuses about it being a bad time etc but that doesn't mean I shouldn't have apologised for what I did. I'm also sorry that I didn't remember, and I know it probably won't help but I had a lot on my mind. Right, now I've said I'm sorry I have some other things that need to be said: So yes, I treated you badly, but that doesn't give you any right to try and sabotage my relationships with other people, or influence people's opinions of me. You don't like me. You know what? Fine. But don't go spreading your views to everyone else. Secondly: I know I made a mistake but your personal vendetta against me has got stop, you can think what you want but I'm sick and tired of you trying to make life difficult. It's difficult enough thanks. I don't need to add to that. So like I said I'm sorry Boone, but it's over now. Let it go." Alexa finished what she was saying glad to get some of what she needed to say off her chest. However it didn't seem that Boone was overly appreciative.
"Oh you're sorry. Yes because that makes it all better Alexa! Do you even know what you did? You don't even really care do you?" he shouted at Alexa. Alexa opened her mouth to object but it seemed Boone wasn't finished "And as for spreading what I did. It isn't opinion Alexa, its fact; it was my duty to warn Sawyer about what you're like. Although I can't see why he was interested. I don't know why I was." He said looking at Alexa with disdain. Alexa clenched her fists; she really regretted not letting Sawyer break his nose.
"Have you not heard a word I said? I don't care what you think of me, but you need to stop spreading lies. I don't get why you're making such a big deal out of it, yes what I did was wrong, but for god sake Boone, you were in love with someone else even when you were going out with me." She watched as Boone's face coloured, either with anger or embarrassment she couldn't tell.
Alexa was expecting Boone to shout and bawl again, but instead he turned and walked away. In most cases Alexa would have been happy, but she knew where running from your problems could get you, and by the looks of things this was something Boone needed to deal with. She jogged to catch up with Boone.
"Look Boone; I'm sorry ok? There's nothing else I can say. Its past I can't change it now." Although part of Alexa wished she could. She allowed herself to ponder what it would have been like if she had been stronger and told him no, or if he had never left her friend to begin with; if they had both been stronger. Would she even be here now? Would she and Boone still be together keeping up false pretences of a relationship that would never have worked? Or would she have moved on and left him anyway? Alexa didn't know the answer, although she had a feeling that in the end she and Boone would never have worked. Fate always had away or working things out just how she wanted even without our help. Fate; she wondered again about Sayid's question, did fate really bring them here? Was there truly some destiny, or was it all just coincidence. Were she and Sawyer meant to be? Or were they just two survivors brought together in a time of need?
That was a dark thought. If they hadn't have crashed here, she and Sawyer would never have met, he would never have given her a second glance had they passed each other in the street. She would still be running from her problems, all her emotions and troubles locked deep inside, showing the world a smile because that was what they expected to see. So much had changed, and Alexa knew these what ifs were pointless. She and Sawyer were together for the moment, and she should relish in that, what would be would be, and there was nothing she could do to change it.
Whilst she was pondering it seemed Boone was fighting his own inner demons, as he struggled with himself before speaking.
"Just leave me the hell alone Alexa!" he shouted before storming away.
"Oh yes that went well." Alexa said to an empty shoreline, but even as she said it she knew that she, at least had made peace, even if Boone hadn't accepted it.
"You really have knack for making friends Alexa." A voice said from behind her. Alexa turned at met the smiling face of Sayid "Do I even want to know what that was about?" he asked her.
"I severely doubt it. I don't even think I want to know, and I'm involved." Alexa said with a sigh.
"You really don't want Boone as your enemy Alexa." Sayid said to her seriously.
"I know. He's not my enemy we just….have some issues." Alexa told him.
"I know that you have Sawyer." Sayid said this and Alexa didn't miss the disgust in his voice. Here was he chastising her for not being best buddies with Boone, when he himself couldn't keep his opinions to himself about Sawyer. "But you have a gift for getting yourself in trouble. I don't want to see you hurt Alexa." Sayid said.
Alexa shrugged off her irritation knowing that what Sayid said only stemmed from his concern, but she couldn't help but feel annoyed that he still didn't accept her choice to trust Sawyer. It isn't as if she was asking him to like the guy, and she certainly knew why Sawyer hated him, and probably vice versa, but she had really hoped they could respect her decisions.
"Believe me Sayid, that's the last thing I want." Alexa said as she turned ready to head back to Sawyer's tent "But as you said: trouble seems to have a way of finding me."
As Alexa walked away from Sayid and back towards the tent in which she had last seen Sawyer, she pondered his words. She really did seem to have a knack for finding trouble, as previous exploits had shown. Yet as Alexa's mind looked back she couldn't seem to get past the point in which Danielle had given her that warning. With Claire's disappearance and everyone's newfound fear of whatever was out there Alexa was finding it hard to get those thoughts out of her mind. It was at the hand of these people; who ever they were, that Alexa had nearly died last time, but she had assumed their disinterest then meant that she was safe. Now however Alexa wasn't so sure. 'They will get you again.'
Alexa hadn't voiced her fears to anyone, as she didn't want them to know her paranoia was increasing. The dreams of her past seemed to have waned, yet Alexa couldn't help but remember the whispered voices of the last few nights, and even the malevolent presence that always seemed to haunt.
"Deep thoughts Lex?" A welcome voice asked from behind her, as arms encircled her waist.
"Not really. Just the general daydreaming stuff." She answered evading Sawyer's question.
"You ain't fooling me Lex. But don't worry I'll leave it for now. How'd things go with Metro?" he asked.
"Don't ask." She said darkly remembering her conversation.
"And you still against me punching him?" Sawyer asked
"Don't tempt me." Alexa answered as she turned and laid her head against Sawyer's chest.
"I have a feeling I know what could take your mind off it." Sawyer whispered into her ear.
"Why am I not surprised?" She whispered back. Yet Alexa couldn't help but let the smile grow on her face. Like she said before whatever will be; will be. Maybe she should just appreciate what she had. As Sawyer's lips descended once again on hers; oh yes, she could definitely appreciate it…
Please R&R and tell me what you think.
