Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of its characters they are the property of Rumiko Takahashi. This story was written for the purposes of entertainment and I by no means will profit from the story other than the satisfaction of exercising my imagination and writing abilities.


Chapter 18: Between Brothers

The dawn had yet to come. The land was still covered in that hazy blue light that preceded the rising sun. A solitary figure walked upon the deserted road. He looked an apparition, almost a ghost with his ethereal coloring, some would think him an angel, most would call him a devil... no angel would be about at this hour. Those that knew him feared and respected him, and he feared no one. That was why at this ungodly hour when most travelers would hesitate to be out on the open road this solitary taiyoukai kept to his course.

Sesshomaru preferred to walk to his destination as he was in no particular hurry to reach it at the moment. He planned to arrive just after the dawn broke. The village would be busy with the beginning of a new day, too busy to notice a lonely traveler passing through as he made his way to where the portal between this world and the miko's lay. He hoped the miko's information was correct. There was no time to waste. Enough had been lost already.

An early morning breeze carried with it a myriad of scents. Amongst the unfamiliar Sesshomaru was able to discern familiar scents as well... Rin, Jaken, and those who traveled with Kagome. The scents were strong, pungent and easily decipherable, causing the taiyoukai a moment of displeasure. Jaken had apparently not sealed away their presence as he had been instructed. He breathed in deeply again, there was nothing in the air that indicated a threat. But with this second breath the taiyoukai realized that his brother was not amongst the group. Still the taijiya, the monk and even the imp would prove formidable foes to most demons by themselves. With their combined efforts the taiyoukai doubted any harm would come to them. Jaken's forgetfulness would be dealt with later. Stopping to chastise the imp now would be another waste of his time and energy.

Besides, it no longer mattered as he would be staying with the group as well. There would be a barrier every night in addition to his formidable battle skills. He was taking no chances with the miko's safety. Others thankfully shared his concern, which is why he had been on this road at this particular time.

Yesterday afternoon, Lord Hikari and Lady Taikasei had met with him while he visited Lord Daijome. The ice demon and the dragon demoness had told him there was a general consensus amongst the other youkai lords that the miko should be kept under his care. There was a general concern that the hanyou, humans and the imp would be insufficient guardians for the blossoming miko. Lady Taikasei added that she strongly hoped he would take the miko to his stronghold until the human was ready to face Naraku.

He was more than ready to accept the task of guarding the miko. In fact the usually patient taiyoukai had been inwardly fretting about how long some of these negotiations were taking. Many of the youkai were just as unbending as he had feared. The initial meeting with the Nekos had gone well, within three hours he had more than happily been on his way. That meeting had given him the false hope that the others would go just as quickly. But he had been wrong, he had spent hours, cajoling, promising, arguing and even waiting before some of the youkai he had met with had agreed.

Diplomacy...there was nothing more tedious than pandering to the nonsensical whims of others just to get them to do what was right. Sometimes these demons acted more like the humans they despised so much, with all this petty bickering over things so inconsequential when compared to what they all now faced. A brief moment of truce was not easy to come by, and his nerves and patience were beginning to wear thin. So it was with well concealed eagerness that he accepted the new task laid at his door. It would allow him to do what he had all but given up hope he would find sufficient time for, he would train the miko.

His only amendment to their plan was that he would not take her to his stronghold. Lady Taikasei was less than pleased with his response. He explained where the miko went his brother also went, if he welcomed the hanyou into his castle there would be much gossip. He feared it would reach Naraku. And they could not risk it...he was not ready to allow her to face Naraku. He intended to bide whatever time he could to forestall the inevitable far as long as he could. That last bit of information he kept to himself. The dragon demon had started to argue this point with him, when Lord Hikari had thankfully intervened.

"Lord Sesshomaru knows the miko well. If he deems it necessary to allow her to choose the place of her training then so be it. He will be with her, and that should be enough."

Lady Taikasei had not replied to that statement. But it was evident by her silence that she had dropped the matter entirely.

Knew her well...Sesshomaru knew that wasn't entirely true. Lord Hikari's statement reminded him of the fact that he had only briefly known her, and that there were countless things about her that he did not yet know. But he knew enough to admire her for the anomaly that she was. A contradiction of everything he had thought of humans...well most creatures for that matter. She was a being all her own. And because of that he knew she would not die. She could not die. Despite what Hikari had said that day, and what his logical mind knew, Sesshomaru had this uncharacteristic faith that she would live.

The more he thought about the events that had happened; the more he wondered if they had happened to give her that chance. He hadn't quite worked it all out yet, but he knew without a doubt everything that had happened, both good and bad had happened so that girl would live. In the few spare moments he had while waiting for youkai to come to their decisions, he searched the ancient texts within their libraries, hoping to find something to substantiate this belief. He had searched countless prophesies, ancient legends for anything that would give credence to his belief. But he had found nothing.

A wry smile graced his lips. It was ironic. He, who had always prided himself on facts, now had this unshakable faith in the unknown, the unproven. A feeling deep within him, almost an instinct, but not quite, was all it was. That's all he had and he held to it with a faith he had not known himself capable of possessing.

The thought unsettled him a little. How could he have so much faith in something he could not prove? The words "...with your miko..." entered his mind. That statement always lingered at the edge of his thoughts, beckoning to him, waiting patiently for him to answer it with the feelings he had recently struggled to bury deep within the recesses of his fortified heart. He knew it was these very feelings that had given him this faith.

The lessons his father had taught him so long ago were being put to the test. Now was not the time for sentiment, or emotion of any sort. He had a duty to protect the miko, her safety meant the difference between salvation and apocalyptic destruction. His feelings were of no consequence and these days without her had only served to strengthen the resolve he had. So he once again filed away the disturbing vision alongside the feelings he possessed for the miko. The vision, and the strong feelings it evoked were born in a moment of weakness and he could not be weak. He would not be weak. The stakes were too high.

Another breeze... he breathed in searching for the scent that had been absent before. It was there, hidden, but he had found it...that peculiar mixture of human and demon blood, of earth and brimstone, that was unique to Inuyasha, the scent was faint, unlike the smells of the other, confirming what he already knew. Inuyasha wasn't with them. That was just as well. The first meeting between the two of them would best be done without any witnesses.

"...maybe Inuyasha will realize the truth when you rescind your claim to his life." Hikari's voice sounded again in his memory. That all too familiar feeling of disappointment settled within him again, he knew better than to hope for that, but yet a small part of him did. Even if Inuyasha did understand, then his brother would know he had sentenced him to death. However Sesshomaru understood it was more likely the hanyou would be confused and suspicious of his motives, if that was all. There had been too much conflict between them for there to be anything but anger and hatred for him in Inuyasha's heart. And those emotions would always serve to corrupt and twist his brother's mind against him.

The absolute trust that his brother once had for him was gone. Destroyed...the irony of it was that it needed to be restored somehow. The only hope his brother had for salvation when this was over was to come back home. Sesshomaru had more faith in the miko surviving the fusion of the two souls than he did in the possibility of his brother ever trusting him again. But that trust, that brotherly faith that he so long ago had robbed his brother of, could be the difference between his brother's life and death. He would have to restore it somehow. But how to go about it? And most important of all would he be able to do it in time?

Inuyasha watched as the first rays of the sun appeared over the sky. It had been another sleepless night. He had preferred to stay awake. He couldn't control the nightmares that invaded his sleep, but he could at least push away the uncomfortable thoughts if he was conscious. He breathed in the scent of the morning air. Kagome's scent had all but evaporated. But she would return sometime this morning. And he would be here when she did.

Inuyasha wanted to be the first one to talk to her when she returned. He knew she would hear of what had happened. The prospect of her hearing it from one of the others did not sit well with him at all. No, he had to be the one to tell her what had happened. He'd tell her about the nightmares he'd been having, how he couldn't think straight, but he would be careful to leave out anything about Sesshomaru rescinding the Vendetta. Even he knew that she wouldn't listen to anything he had to say if she knew that his brother had done so.

He took a deep breath to calm emotions that had begun to stir within. If he was to cure Kagome of whatever delusions she had in regard to his brother he was going to have to be calm. He would have to keep his temper in check or she would never listen to him. And he wanted her to, more than anything he wanted to save her from the hurt that would come with trusting Sesshomaru.

The wind had changed direction then. The faint smell of milk and honey dispersed in another direction. The change brought new smells to him. The morning dew, the light scent of sukera, a hint of wisteria and amongst these pleasant fragrances wafted a familiar and most unpleasant odor. Sesshomaru...his brother had come.

In less than a heartbeat his mood had changed. No longer was he carefully filing away his emotions waiting as patiently as he could for Kagome to arrive. Now every nerve was on edge, as he looked around straining to see, hoping that he would not find the owner of that smell. But another sniff of the air confirmed his first instinct, his brother had come. A volatile cocktail of emotions simmered within him. Ready at any moment to explode, waiting for that one single spark, that one tiny flame to set them in motion and send them raging through his very being again.

His suspicion aroused, Inuyasha's mind raced to find an answer, as he fought to quell the emotions that stirred within in. Why would that bastard show up now? What was so pressing that he'd come now? Releasing the Vendetta only required a messenger, so he doubted his brother had come all this way to talk to him about that. Why now, why when Kagome was coming back today....he stopped and swore silently...that was why the bastard was here. He was here for Kagome.

That thought had obliterated what little self control the hanyou had. The anger, the unseeing hatred, the bitter hurt of betrayal, the confusion, all blended together once more to form that fatal elixir of unseeing unthinking rage that ran through him whenever he thought of his brother these past few days.

In the distance he saw his brother approaching. The very sight of the taiyoukai made his blood boil all the hotter. The bastard was coming closer to him...to the well...he had to stop him before he got there. He wouldn't let him get near Kagome. He had a plan damn it. And he was not going to let the bastard spoil it.

"What the hell are you doing here? You have no business here, not with me, not with anyone and especially not with Kagome." Inuyasha growled angrily as he landed on the ground directly in front of the taiyoukai's path.

Brother stood facing brother then, one glaring at the other with ill concealed hatred. The other showed no signs of emotion whatsoever as he gazed back with an impenetrable facade of practiced calm indifference.

Inuyasha seethed. How the hell could his brother be so damn cold? Nothing, not a shred of emotion, no apology, no remorse, nothing...total indifference was all he saw when he looked at his brother. Nothing ever changed him, nothing moved him. The bastard didn't care if anyone lived or died. The world could end and his brother would still have that same look upon his face.

Emotionless amber eyes glittered like polished topaz as Sesshomaru regarded his brother. Assessing, questioning the blind fury so ill concealed in molten amber. He stood in silence, disappointment swelling in his breast. Sesshomaru was at a loss of how to deal with his brother. Before it had been so easy to manipulate that blind fury his mere presence brought about in his brother. Over the years he had used it, finding empty satisfaction in knowing that he had helped make his brother stronger.

Now he no longer had that option. Now he had to find a way to help Inuyasha get past this. He searched his mind on how to answer without provoking Inuyasha's anger. He knew that he must tread carefully if he was to rebuild his brother's trust. And he knew he must start now. However in the face of such open hostility on Inuyasha's part he was at a loss. He was about to reply when Inuyasha exploded.

"DIDN"T YOU HEAR ME?!" the hanyou roared. How dare the bastard ignore him.

"I heard you." Sesshomaru replied evenly. His voice gave no indication of the disappointment he felt. Unfortunately he had been right, there was too much between them for Inuyasha to view him with anything but hatred and distrust. Even that small moment of silence while he chose his words had been enough to set off his brother's anger. "I am here to see the miko. She said she was to return today, and we are to train."

"I knew it. This was all a trick wasn't it? To get on Kagome's good side. To get her to trust you, so she'll do what you want. I see through it, and I know better. I'll make sure that she sees you for what you are, before you hurt her." Inuyasha raged at his brother.

Sesshomaru's impassive gaze bored into his brother, the lift of a single brow the only outward sign of the taiyoukai's complete confusion. He had no idea what his brother was ranting about. He had thought his brother knew of his arrival. Again he had overestimated his brother's ability to reason. But he was going to get to the bottom of it before the miko arrived. "I am at a loss to understand how you think my waiting here is in anyway a trick. The miko...."

"Her name is Kagome. Ka...go...me... and she is not a miko." Inuyasha gritted the words out as he now struggled to control his emotions. He could feel the fire burning in his blood, the demon within beckoning to be released.

"Very well, I am at a loss to understand your temper brother. Kagome is expecting me. It was understood that I would be here to train her when she returned. How else would I have known where to come?" Sesshomaru answered smoothly as he held his brother's gaze level in his own. Whatever could have happened to work his brother into such a rage as this? Something inside him told him that this must have something to do with the Vendetta. This was not what he had expected.

In all honesty he did not know what he had expected. Not once since he had dispatched the messenger did he stop to consider exactly what Inuyasha's reaction would be to this. All thoughts and concerns he had of his brother's reaction had become secondary when he realized the miko might not survive. Could his brother be this angry because he released the Vendetta? Inuyasha's next words validated that last assumption.

"I'm not talking about that. So stop playing stupid. You know very well what I mean. But then again, maybe you're not playing, let me refresh your memory." Inuyasha sneered before he went on. "You sent Reiko with a message for me. Do you remember?"

"Yes. I understood that you received it. Was it not clear?" Sesshomaru replied evenly. Emotionless amber eyes carefully regarded his brother, searching for some clue as to where the hanyou's thoughts lay. What was running through the hanyou's mind? Had he finally accepted what the Vendetta truly meant? Then that could only mean, once again he had unintentionally hurt his brother. He would have to find a way to explain this.

"It was...crystal. The only thing that he didn't tell me was why. But I've figure it out all on my own. So you can just leave now. We don't need you and your fake acts of friendship and brotherly love. We can handle Naraku all on out own without your help."

"What have you figured out brother?" Sesshomaru asked. His hope had risen, now he would have the chance to explain it all to his brother. At last he would have the chance to right this wrong that weighed upon his conscience.

"The little imp, your spy Jaken, told you that Miroku blabbed about the Vendetta to Kagome. So then you realized Kagome would never want to fight alongside someone who would turn on his own brother for no good reason. So you called the whole thing off while she was gone just so you could prove to her what a great guy you are. Don't kid yourself though, she may be trusting but she's not stupid. She knows evil when she sees it." Inuyasha growled out at his brother.

"Clever, but wrong" Sesshomaru replied coolly, his disappointment growing incrementally as each moment passed. His hope had all but been extinguished. Inuyasha hadn't understood. No the hanyou's anger had once again twisted everything. His brother had contorted the facts into some sinister plot that he had yet to fully understand. It was clear that his brother would not accept the truth and it would be pointless to tell him. To try to explain everything now would only serve to anger him more. "The reasons I called off the Vendetta are of no concern of yours."

"That's because I'm right and you just don't want to admit it. You're here because you're scared that I'll tell Kagome all about it, and she'll believe me. She trusts me. When she finds out the truth she won't want to have anything to do with you. Hell now that she can summon the shards, maybe we'll do that this afternoon, and then I'll use the jewel to become full demon..."

Sesshomaru felt his emotions surge within him upon hearing his brother's reckless statement. The words came of their own volition as his feelings for the miko's safety momentarily escaped their confines. "Brother you are as foolish as you are arrogant. You can't use the jewel to do that. You can't use the jewel for any purpose good or evil. To use it in such a way would eventually lead to the destruction of life as we know it...don't you"

"Like hell it will. You're just scared of what I'll do to you when I'm a full demon. Hell I've beaten you pretty badly a couple of times, you must be loosing your touch since the arena."

Sesshomaru stifled the emotions that had risen in him and forced them back into their sanctuary. He could not rise to the bait again. This conversation had gone on long enough. Inuyasha was determined to misunderstand anything he said. "I will not fight you brother. I came to train the miko, so if you'll excuse me I will wait for her to return elsewhere." He stated evenly as he turned around and began to walk away.

It was clear that staying here would only inflame his brother further and he would not chance the miko coming back in the middle of one of Inuyasha's tirades. He knew enough of her to know that she would waste precious time trying to decipher what ate at his brother's soul. Those were precious moments that he did not want to waste, for they could very well mean her life. And he was not willing to risk that for anyone, not even his brother.

"Sesshomaru!!! Don't you dare turn your back on me!!!" Inuyasha cried as his brother walked away from him back into the forest. He was too angry to realize that he had accomplished his goal, Sesshomaru was leaving. Right now he wanted satisfaction for all the feelings that welled inside him. He wanted to hurt his brother, to tear him to shreds. He did not know why, nor did he understand the true depths of the hate that flowed within him. He wanted satisfaction one way or another, and if his brother wasn't going to argue, then he would have to fight.

Inuyasha flexed his claws and lunged at his brother's departing form. He swiped his hand, claws fully drawn, only to meet with the disappointment of nothingness.

Sesshomaru had moved effortlessly away, flipping backward over Inuyasha's head in order to avoid the lethal claws.

"I will not fight you brother." Sesshomaru said calmly as he eyed his brother warily. Once again he had underestimated his brother's animosity.

"Then you'll make it that much easier for me to kill you. It's about time I returned the favor don't you think." Inuyasha snarled as he lunged again at Sesshomaru who jumped backwards and came to rest directly in front of the well.

Through his rage the well registered in Inuyasha's brain. Kagome...she would be back soon. That thought made him all the more desperate to be rid of Sesshomaru. He drew the tetsusiaga then.

"Sesshomaru, it's over now. Say hello to father for me when you get to hell!!!" He screamed in rage as he drew the sword back.

Sesshomaru felt a wave of energy knock him to the ground as his brother spoke.

"SIT BOY!!!" Kagome's disembodied voice echoed from within the well.

The taiyoukai watched in amazement as his brother was thrown forcibly to the ground. The miko had saved him. Whatever that strange energy was had caught him off guard and he would not have been able to move in time had his brother been able to release the energy.

Inuyasha cursed as he lay in the crater. "Damn it Kagome." She had come back, and he knew now that this was not going to go as he had planned. Damn Sesshomaru for showing up in the first place. Damn his own stupidity for not letting his brother leave. Now he had lost the opportunity that he had spent a good portion of last night and this morning planning.

Sesshomaru looked as his brother lay on the ground. The hanyou was still angry. He sighed as he breathed in the fragrance of milk and honey that now hung about the air. She was here, inside the well. He turned as he heard her making her way to the top.

"....and from the earth she will emerge... a maiden fully grown..."

The words flitted through Sesshomaru's mind as he watched Kagome climb out of the well. He tried to remember more. But it eluded him, like some distant tune that you knew but could not place the words hung there... the phrases repeating themselves. And he couldn't remember if it was legend, prophesy or myth. He couldn't recall if he'd read those words or heard them. But he had long ago...

"Would either of you mind telling me what is going on here." Kagome's voice pulled him away from his thoughts. A movement from behind her alerted him that Inuyasha had managed to finally get up. Polished topaz again met molten amber in a silent contest of wills.

Stormy midnight eyes filled with annoyed confusion flicked from one to the other trying to assess what she had gotten in the middle of. Brother stared at brother and the tension hung thick in the air between them, nearly choking her with all the emotions she could feel flowing from the two of them.

She sighed. Again she felt the weight of the problems that lay between the two of them. All thoughts of Hojo were removed from her mind, and safely tucked in her heart. She was definitely back in the past, in the middle of something that had plagued most of her thoughts these past few days.

"I'm waiting." Kagome said impatiently. She felt like she was dealing with a couple of stubborn three year olds. Both holding their breath until they got what they wanted, and ironically she knew it was the same thing. They both wanted things back to what they were before. One was too hurt and angry to admit it, even to himself. The other, midnight eyes flicked to Sesshomaru, she still only had her conjectures of what his reasons were. She could feel the disappointment and sorrow flowing freely from within him. She was surprised at how openly he had let his feelings for his brother flow. It was as if...yes he was trying to get through to Inuyasha. But the idiot was too angry to notice it. Her annoyance gave way to compassion.

The change in her emotion broke the stand-off. Sesshomaru flicked his gaze to the miko. Kagome had turned her gaze to his brother. His disappointment deepened. Her compassion for his brother's feelings would prevent any further interaction at this time. He was resigned to playing the part of the villain where his brother was concerned.

"It is of no concern of yours miko." He replied his usual tones. "I came to continue your training not fight with my brother. I see now that I was mistaken in my timing. When you are ready to train, seek me out and we will begin where we left off."

Midnight eyes met his in silent pleading. He wanted to look away, but it was too easy to give in to the selfishness of looking into their depths. He wanted so badly to believe the compassion and understanding held in them was for him. But he had already hoped too much this morning. His brother had proven to him once again just how much he did not know about dealing with human emotions. Sesshomaru knew she wanted him to stay. And he wished he could grant her that wish. With all his heart he wished he could. But he knew staying would only make matters worse at this point.

He broke eye contact with the miko then. Amber eyes flicked to his brother who continued to glare at him in defiance, silently daring him to say anything else. He could say nothing; do nothing that would not set off the rage that was still seething within his brother. It would be best if he left for the moment. Staying would only complicate things. And he had no wish to do so at the moment... time was of the essence.

He turned his eyes back to the miko and offered her a silent apology. A slight nod of her head was the only indication of her acceptance. He turned and began to walk away, his heart heavy with the disappointed feelings that lay within it confines.

Inuyasha's anger flared once again. His brother was always walking away. The bastard didn't care about anything enough to even stay and finish what he had started. He flexed his claws again, "Bastard, don't you dare walk away from this." His anger grew when the taiyoukai continued to walk at that same unhurried, steady gait each step taking him further and further away. "That's it! We're going to finish this today. I'm tired of these games." He growled as he again lunged at Sesshomaru's retreating form.

"Sit boy!" Kagome cried again. She knew then why Sesshomaru was leaving. And as much as she wished he would come back and hash this out with his brother once and for all, she knew that for now it was better that he left. His presence would only make matters worse.

Inuyasha muttered a slew of angry curses as he again picked himself up from ground. "What the hell was that for?" He asked as he stood to his full height and stalked towards where Kagome stood. He glared down at the small woman, who had twice in a matter of minutes, in front of his brother no less, had used that damned command. Sesshomaru didn't want a fight, and she wouldn't let him go after the bastard, then he would fight her.

He watched in satisfaction as the compassion left her eyes, and her midnight eyes darkened and glittered with angry emotions. She was ready to fight. And he needed an outlet to vent the rage that had built once again past the point of containment. "What the hell are you looking at me like that for? He started it, and he just walks away, and you don't say anything to him at all? Well I know where your loyalties lie, don't I?"

"You should. I've been by your side through everything..." she shot back at him angrily. She knew he wanted a fight and she was prepared to give him one. He frustrated her to no end. For once she wished he would think before acting. But then she knew this was how he was. He hadn't offered any one easy acceptance when they first joined the group, and this would far worse than trying to get him to accept Miroku. She hadn't backed down then, and she wouldn't now. She'd learned long ago that when he was like this, you had to fight him to get him to listen.

"Only to stick a knife in my back! Now when I need you to be on my side you can't do it. You don't have a clue what that bastard put me through. You want to trust everyone who says they want to help you."

"Get over it Inuyasha. He has been helping me. If it wasn't for him we wouldn't know what I can do."

"He tried to kill me...he tried to kill you..."

"Stop it Inuyasha. Every one of us has done something that could be construed as a betrayal. But we got past it. You need to get past it and trust your brother."

"Like hell I will. You're a fool for trusting him. Next thing I know you'll be running off to Naraku with the jewel shards."

"No, that's Kikyo's job." Kagome shot back. The moment the words left her mouth she wished she could recall them. The closed angry look in his eyes was the confirmation she had said the wrong thing.

"This isn't about Kikyo. This is about you, and that damn misplaced trust of yours..."

"Inuyasha listen..." she began in a more subdued voice, only to be drowned out by his anguished cry.

"NO!!! You listen. I thought you cared about me?! I thought you loved me? I thought that you more than anyone else would be here, always. But I was wrong. I guess everything you said the other night doesn't count when it comes to my brother! If you cared and loved me you would know not to trust him you'd stay as far away from him as you could... I've been sitting here waiting for days or you to come back, ever since I found out that stupid monk told you about the damned Vendetta. The idiot thinks that bastard over there was trying to protect me. I guess I already know what you think. How could you believe that? Do you think me that stupid? I guess it doesn't matter anyway, he's waiting. You wouldn't want to let your new best friend wait too long. So go ahead and walk away, leave me alone just like everyone else does..."

Kagome's face softened then. She took a step towards him and put a gentle hand on his arm, and he pulled away from her, refusing to let her touch him. He wanted to be angry. He needed to be angry. It was easier than being hurt. And he would not allow anyone to hurt him ever again. His mind was working furiously to put up barriers to keep her out. She was trying to get into his soul, trying to get him to look at his heart and the wounds that lay upon it. He wouldn't do it, not for her, not for anyone.

"I'm not leaving you Inuyasha. What I said the other night wasn't a lie. It's the truth that's in my heart. I thought you trusted me." Her pleading words carried to his ears, the barriers disintegrated. But the anger shielding his heart remained. No one was going to get him to release that no matter what. He had to hold onto it. He would hate his brother with his last breath.

"Then tell me whether or not you think Sesshomaru was trying to protect me." He stated simply. He needed to hear her say it.

Midnight eyes looked at him then, and he saw the apprehension in them. He was right. He knew then, what she thought even before the words left her mouth. "Inuyasha I do think Sesshomaru was trying to protect you."

"That's all I needed to know. I guess I was right after all, I can only trust myself." He said as he turned and walked away from her.

"You know it's not me, or him that you don't trust, it's yourself." She yelled after him.

He fully expected her to use that damned command to get him to stay. But what she said struck something inside him and held his attention as if she'd yelled that hated command again. He didn't know what and he was positive he didn't want to find out. But still he stopped and turned to look at her, "What the hell is that supposed to mean? Of course I trust myself. I'm the only one I can trust apparently."

Kagome watched in satisfaction as he stopped moving away from her. She didn't want to sit him again. She had to make him listen to her, and she had struck a nerve. This was the only way to get him to understand now, and she would have to be brutally honest with him. It might at the very least get him to start to understand where his anger was coming from.

"Then why are you scared to even consider for a moment what we're saying is true? Why are you so scared...?"

"I'm not scared." He replied caustically. She had lost her mind.

"Yes you are. You're scared that you'll get hurt again. You're scared that no one will be there, that's why you're walking away from me now. Well guess what you will get hurt again. And there'll be times when you're alone again. If you allow yourself to feel there'll also be times when you're happy, and times when you'll be surrounded by your friends. But if you can't trust yourself to deal with the bad feelings you have inside of you, you'll miss out on a whole lot more than you'll ever know." Her voice pleaded with him to understand. The last part was but a whisper, an impassioned plea that spoke directly to his heart. "You have to trust yourself to get over the bad times if you are ever going to find any peace."

"Whatever." Inuyasha said as he turned on his heel. He strode angrily away trying to force what she said from his mind. But it still echoed and reverberated within his ears as if she'd screamed it from the top of her lungs. He had to get away from her if he was to hold on to what he knew was right. He had to find somewhere quiet to regroup and gather his thoughts. Kagome had a way of muddling his brain, making him believe things he normally wouldn't. This time he had to be strong, for her sake, not just his own.

Kagome watched him go. He would be back she knew that. Inuyasha needed to cool down, and so did she. It was always like this whenever she came back, something or another would ignite an argument between the two of them. It's just today she hadn't expected to be refereeing a grudge match between Inuyasha and Sesshomaru.

Sesshomaru...she turned to look in the direction he had walked off to. Searching along the slope to the edge of the forest, her eyes scanned the horizon for any sign of the taiyoukai.

She saw him in the distance, a lone figure standing tall and upright upon the hill. His silver white hair blowing gently in the breeze, the soft edges of his cloth caught on the same wind, the only evidence that he was real, not some magnificent sculpture carved from someone's imagination. No he was beautiful, more beautiful than any angel she had ever envisioned. The picture of power the epitome of absolute sovereignty as he stood there looking out over the unseen landscape.

But it wasn't the power that radiated from his very being that had her attention. No it was something deeper, as she gazed upon him in perplexed wonder. Her very being was assaulted by an overwhelming regret, and sorrow. She knew instinctively that it was his. A month ago she would have never have guessed that this demon, this strong seemingly emotionless demon could be so lonely. Even the feelings that her heart imagined he had felt were nothing to the sense of disappointed loneliness that emanated from him now.

Her compassionate heart cried out inside her. He did not deserve to feel this way. Over the past week her heart had long ago absolved him of any intentional wrongdoing. Now her mind was in total agreement with her heart. He had proven himself a friend to her, even before she had truly accepted it. This taiyoukai had unknowingly helped her decipher the secrets of her heart. The least she could do was to return the favor and offer her friendship. She would give him comfort just as he had sought to give her strength and knowledge. She would help him find his way back into his brother's life and heart.

Steadily she made her way up the hill to where he stood. All the while wondering just what she would say to him. He was unwilling to talk earlier, but part of her wondered if that had more to do with Inuyasha than herself. The few times she had been able to talk freely to him, had shown her that though he did not wear his emotions on his sleeve, his words betrayed his feelings. That's why she knew he would have to be the one to make the first move to bridge the gap between him and Inuyasha. All her thoughts had led her to one conclusion; he would have to call off the Vendetta. As long as that stood between them Inuyasha would continue to be unreasonable. Today's events only served to reinforce her belief.

She reached his side. Silently the two of them stood looking down upon the path Kagome had just climbed. She could feel his struggle to put his emotions in check. Kagome knew she couldn't let him do that, not now, not until she had her say. She had allowed him to walk away knowing that he was right to do so. But she was not about to let the subject drop.

Her compassion for the both of them emboldened her to speak. "Will you at least tell me what this was all about?"

"No. It is a matter between brothers. I can not allow you to interfere. It would be a dishonor to the both of us." Sesshomaru knew his reply was evasive and he knew she would persist. But more than anything he knew both he and his brother had at least after all these years agreed on one thing...they both did not want the girl to know that the Vendetta no longer stood between them. That he would have to be careful to keep to himself.

"Whatever you two were fighting about has Inuyasha all worked up. And has you standing here feeling disappointed and lonely."

He flinched imperceptibly at this. He hadn't meant for her to feel those emotions, they were meant for his brother to feel. He consoled himself with the knowledge that she had been indeed training if she could perceive his emotions. But then again, this miko had an uncanny ability to see through him, as no one else did. Again he reminded himself to watch where this conversation went.

Kagome watched him in silence, she felt him submerge his emotions once more. She almost smiled at the act. Both brothers were too proud for their own good. "You know you don't always have to try and hide your feelings. Sometimes it helps to talk to a friend about them."

"Friend?" he asked as he arched an eyebrow up at her statement. Was this girl trying to become his friend? Something in his heart lurched at the thought. Could it be? But he knew he couldn't let it be.

"Friend, you know, someone you respect, like and trust with your innermost secrets. Someone you go to for advice when you're all mixed up inside."

"I have no use for such alliances. I do not get so mixed up inside that I don't know which course of action to take."

"I thought I was your friend. I consider you mine. And it breaks my heart to know that you're so lonely." Kagome replied innocently, unaware of the turmoil she had just unleashed inside the taiyoukai next to her.

Sesshomaru remained steadfastly silent. He wanted to accept what she was offering, but he knew it would be folly to do so. His heart knew it wanted so much more than she was offering, and it also knew that it couldn't be. He did not trust himself to speak, scared that if he opened his mouth to refuse her offer, his heart would once again seize the opportunity to let her in. He couldn't let that happen. She could not know the feelings he held for her in his heart. Not now anyways.

Kagome smiled inwardly at his silence. She had struck a nerve. His attention was hers and she would press her point. "You know he's lonely too. Inuyasha wants his family back just as you do. He's just too scared to accept it."

His heart plummeted. She was here on Inuyasha's behalf. She didn't know him. She didn't know that she was foremost in his thoughts. The girl didn't know that he was here to make sure that she survived this. How could she know that part of him wished that she would show just the tiniest iota of friendship and affection for him that she had for his brother? His heart wondered what it would feel like, but knew if he had that it would want more, and he knew that he couldn't have more... shouldn't have more. But a part of him desperately wished it weren't so.

"Miko, Kagome," he said trying to keep his voice passive, devoid of disappointment, "there is much my brother desires from me but I am certain being in my company is not something that he truly wants. I thought today would have been more than enough proof."

"He's hurt and angry, so much so that it's to the point where he's just irrational. I know talking to him alone isn't going to change things. Miroku told me all about the Brother's Vendetta. I know you did that to protect him. I'm not sure from whom. But I'm pretty sure it has to do with Midoriko, your father and everything we talked about the other day. I'm probably out of line here, but don't you think this has gone on long enough? Don't you think it's about time to call the Vendetta off? It might help him accept your being here with the rest of us."

Sesshomaru wanted to laugh a mirthless laugh at this. But he could not. No he could show no emotion now. But she had asked for the very thing that had in essence caused the very rage she had just witnessed. Part of him was relieved that she had asked it of him. She would view what he had done as a step towards helping his brother understand. He marveled at the fact that she had done so. Part of him wondered if she had some insight into his brother that he did not.

But something inside him stopped him from telling her that he had. Inuyasha didn't want her to know. If Sesshomaru told her, the hanyou would further believe that he had dropped the Vendetta for Kagome's benefit. He could not let his brother believe that. So he decided to keep silent. The Vendetta was between him and Inuyasha and nothing about it concerned the miko's safety so there was no harm in honoring Inuyasha's unspoken wish.

"Kagome. I wish that were true. Doing so will not soften my brother's anger towards me. It will not change anything between the two of us."

Midnight eyes searched amber ones. She could see that he was hiding something from her. What she could only guess at, but she assumed it was more of the sorrow he had submerged within himself. Compassion and affection welled within the depths of her eyes as her heart conjectured that once again Sesshomaru had reached out to Inuyasha, and once again he was rejected. She had to give him some hope, she couldn't let him give up.

"Maybe not at first, but you can't give up. You've done so much for him already. One day he'll know just how much. You just have to believe he will, and you have to give him something to start believing in. Drop the Vendetta. Tell him you want to be how you were before. Tell him you don't hate him. Show him."

"And when he turns from me, then what?"

"Do what you've been doing all along, and show him again and again until he can't help but accept it's real."

"And if I drop the Vendetta and his life is endangered, will he thank me for that? Will he thank me for leaving him defenseless against such foes as I know that would not think twice before taking his life?"

"If you fight beside him to save him he'll understand. But if you use hatred and indifference to protect him, then you will condemn him and yourself to being lonely forever. Don't you see? It's in your power to teach him to trust himself again. But you need to have faith in him too. He's strong because you've taught him to be. But he's also scared of being hurt because you taught him that too."

Amber peered into midnight. He could drown in the feelings he saw in their stormy depths. The words she spoke were as wise as they were heartfelt, he could not deny that. Yet he could not say what he knew would put her mind at rest.

"My brother has found a true friend in you. I hope he realizes just how lucky he is." Sesshomaru said quietly.

Kagome smiled then. A tender smile born of understanding compassion, she understood. He thought she was here to plead Inuyasha's case. But she had to make him understand that she was here for him too. "I didn't say those things just because Inuyasha's hurting. I said them because you're hurting too. I'm your friend, whether or not you choose to call me one. You don't know how much you've helped me, but I do. In part thanks to your advice I was able to find my purpose once again. Thanks to you I can look forward to the future."

He knew she meant it. Sincerity was practically flowing from the very essence of her being. How could he not accept such a sweet offering? His heart leapt with joy at her words, content for now to know that he had a place in her heart.

"I would be honored to call you my friend." The words were spoken before he could think to stop them. And despite his reserve and all his intentions to keep his feelings hidden within his heart, a slow tender smile born of gratitude and genuine affection formed on his lips, softening the usually hard lines of his face. His amber eyes deepened to a dark almost whisky color.

Kagome gasped at the transformation a simple smile could make. There were no words to describe. In her wildest imagination she had never been able to conjure a smile such as this upon his face. She hadn't been able to imagine any. He was an angel, a beautiful angel. No demon could be this beautiful. Giddiness began to overtake her then as she realized she had caused that smile to appear on his face. She felt an unexpected deep satisfaction in knowing she had been the one to inspire that smile.

He felt her heartbeat and breath quicken as she gazed back at him. He was satisfied that he affected her just as much as she affected him. As he gazed back into her midnight eyes, a vision came to mind...empty midnight eyes staring vacantly into space, devoid of the emotions he now saw in their depths, her body lying motionless unmoving...his smile faded then. He chastised himself for giving into the feelings the girl inspired in him. He was here to train her. He could not forget that for even a moment.

"Kagome, we need to train. That is why I'm here." The shield was up once more. His emotions were once again safely filed away within the confines of his heart. Maybe one day he would act upon them. Now he would be her friend, and fight alongside her. He would show her all that she did not know, and if she survived this, then he would allow himself to act. But until then he would have to be content with things as they currently stood.

Kagome watched as the smile faded from his face. She could almost hear the thoughts churning in his head as the smile left his face. He was hiding again. But she had gotten through, even if it was just for a moment. She had seen his smile and had known that it was real. She smiled to herself as she followed Sesshomaru's retreating figure, she now had another moment to hold onto. The gift of that rare smile was all the proof she needed to give credence to all her heart's theories. There was hope for Inuyasha and Sesshomaru. When she returned to the future, she knew they would have each other. Neither of them would be alone anymore.


Revised, edited, reposted 10/12/04

Author's Notes: Currently I am in the process of revising, editing and reposting this fic. If you find any errors (ie. spelling, word misuse, plot gaps, etc.) please let me know either by email (which can be found in my bio) or by leaving a review. All comments and help are greatly appreciated. Special thanks to thebigW for pointing many of these out to me.