Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of its characters they are the property of Rumiko Takahashi. This story was written for the purposes of entertainment and I by no means will profit from the story other than the satisfaction of exercising my imagination and writing abilities.


Chapter 19: Trusting Kagome

Amber eyes passively regarded the young woman before him. He fought to push away his feelings of concern as he watched her struggle to hold onto the barrier she just erected. The taiyoukai knew that he had to push her. That was the only way to ensure she lived. He couldn't allow the feelings that urged him to let her rest. There would be no rest in the upcoming battle. She would have to be more than ready for that battle. Naraku was not the only enemy she would face. The souls she possessed were both asset and liability to her, and could very well take her life. Sesshomaru would not allow that to happen.

This new barrier, the Kokoikomi, was a much more complex barrier than the simple spirit shield she had already mastered. Only the most powerful and skilled could hold onto this barrier for any true length of time to make it effective. She needed to become one of them. This barrier could very well save her life should he fall during the battle. Sesshomaru had no intentions of dying, but he knew the risks during this battle would be great, and he may not have the strength to protect her, and he could not rely on the other youkai to help him...she was a miko after all. There were many who would view her death as part in parcel of being mortal. He could not accept that. If she were to die, it would not be during battle.

The Kokoikomi would offer her the protection she needed to prevent the last piece of Kikyo's soul from returning. Once the jewel was shattered and the remainder of Midoriko's soul returned, it was the only thing strong enough to keep her soul out. It required a great amount of energy and focus to initially erect, but once properly erected it would be easy to maintain for hours at a time. The barrier would allow nothing to pass through it. Energy could not come in nor could it come out, essentially cutting off whoever or whatever was encased in the barrier.

Not only would the barrier prevent anything from passing either way, it destroyed whatever came into contact with it. The only thing Sesshomaru was unsure of was what would happen if the remaining piece of Kikyo's soul came into contact with the barrier. Unfortunately there was no way to test this theory of his. Sesshomaru knew for a fact that a soul would remain intact after coming into contact with the barrier...But partial souls that did not possess their full life energy; that was unprecedented. He had to trust to the laws of nature that had already been established. Sesshomaru found that he had faith that the soul would not pass...nor would it be damaged. The taiyoukai believed that the remaining piece of Kagome's soul would simply have to return to the dead miko. Kagome would have to return to her time; that was the only way to keep her safe. Kikyo's soul could not follow.

She continued to hold onto the barrier. A triumphant gleam appeared in those amber eyes that flashed gold in the sunlight. In all honesty he hadn't intended to teach her to use the barrier today. When they had begun training this morning it had taken her a while to settle the feelings that were warring within her. Once she had settled down it had been evident that she had found time to train while she had been gone. He felt a significant increase in her focus and the amount of control she had over her powers.

He had felt the power from her as she demonstrated what she had accomplished while she was away...Even her spirit shield was stronger. It was then that he had decided to teach her the basics of the Kokoikomi. Everything he knew, told him that she was not ready for such a thing. But his desire for her to live, coupled with the knowledge that he may not have time later to do so led him to teach her this barrier today.

Truth be told, Sesshomaru did not expect her to be able to fully erect the barrier today. All his logic had told him not to be disappointed when she failed. Kagome certainly possessed the power within her. But nothing she had learnt before this even compared to the amount of energy and focus this barrier would require. The Kokoikomi was difficult even for taiyoukai with years of training and battle experience to wield. For a human miko, especially one just learning to use her powers, it was highly doubtful that she would be able to conjure it let alone maintain it for any substantial length of time. He was neither surprised nor disappointed when her first attempts yielded little more than a spirit shield.

Just as before the young woman did not let failure stop her. Determination practically poured from her very being as she tried again and again to focus her energy and create the barrier. Once more he found himself admiring this fierce determination this small miko had within her. Once her powers were fully awakened and within her control Kagome would be a formidable foe. As it stood now that day was somewhere in the future, unrealized as of yet, he prayed that they would have the time to develop these powers. He did not want to send her into battle partially armed.

Finally he was able to feel the energy of the Kokoikomi. For a few fleeting moments the barrier had flared around her. He felt the spike in her power rise. Briefly his heart swelled with pride. Its faith in her did not go unrewarded with even that small victory. And just as suddenly as she had erected it, it was gone. He had caught her eye then, and saw the disappointment flicker in their depths, but her determination was stronger than that disappointment. Again and again she had erected the barrier, each time a little longer.

Now as she stood before him, briefly her face shone with the triumph of her achievement. Midnight eyes blazed with pride as seconds ticked away turning into minutes, and he could not help but think once more how beautiful she was, when she stood strong and victorious as she did now. His heart swelled with pride for her. He knew she was putting everything she had into this. He could sense she was tiring, struggling to maintain the barrier for just a moment longer. Yes, she was a true warrior.

"Kagome!!!!" Shippo's and Rin's voices echoed in excited chorus. He looked up in time to see the two young ones hurtling across the clearing straight towards the young woman, whose eyes were now shut in concentration. The youngsters were totally unaware of the danger of approaching the miko at this time. Inside the Kokoikomi she would be unable to notice their presence and the energy from the barrier would at the very least sear off their flesh if it did not outright kill them.

"Kitsune, Rin do not take another step closer to Kagome." Sesshomaru did not raise his voice, but the deadly calm that carried within its tones caught the children's attention nonetheless.

Both youngsters stopped where they were. Neither one moving, they stood frozen in place as if they were statues. The young kitsune stopped in fear. Long ago this taiyoukai had proven how deadly he could be when crossed. The human stopped because long ago she had learned blind obedience and implicit trust in this same taiyoukai. Silently, they turned their eyes to the taiyoukai who stood a few feet away from their intended destination. Turquoise and ebony filled with unspoken confusion as it finally registered that Kagome had not acknowledged them or moved.

Without a word Sesshomaru picked up a large stone that lay near by. He saw the fear register briefly in their eyes as he hurled it straight at Kagome. The stone hit the Kokoikomi causing the energy around Kagome to crackle and pop, flaring bright pink in intensity as the stone was reduced to dust before their very eyes. They watched in fascination as Kagome wavered briefly trying to control the fluctuation in the energy that surrounded her. A small cry of pain was then heard as the energy proved too much to handle and leapt back into her hands against her will.

Concern briefly flickered over Sesshomaru's impassive features when he heard the miko's sharp cry of pain. He watched her sway a little before steadying herself once again. His face was once more impassive as the miko raised her eyes to meet his. Apology and disappointment flickered in their midnight depths. The miko swayed again as she stood on unsteady legs before him. The miko's fatigue was more than obvious to the demon lord who watched her every movement carefully hoping to determine that fatigue was her only ailment at the moment.

Midnight eyes fluttered closed and her knees gave way. He reacted on impulse then, and in an instant he was at her side. Gently guiding her to a sitting position on the ground, he sat next to her. Without thought she leaned back against the solidness of his form for support, she opened her eyes once more. The miko was thankful for the steadiness he was providing as the world continued spinning before her eyes. Midnight eyes tried to focus as Kagome desperately tried to cling to the last vestiges of consciousness she had. She would not fall into darkness, she would not be weak.

"Thank you." Kagome managed to weakly croak out as she leaned against him in disappointed exhaustion. She wished she had been able to control it longer. That last fluctuation in her energy took her by surprise. She couldn't account for what had happened. Whatever it was she was certain she should try again. It would only make her stronger, but right now she couldn't even find the strength to attempt to stand. She couldn't even feel the emotions from the taiyoukai she leaned against, and somehow she felt a disturbing loss at that. "I'm sorry I couldn't hold it much longer." Her voice was full of despair, self reproach and exhaustion.

"No need to apologize Kagome. You did very well today. I shouldn't have pushed you too hard." He said gently. She could no longer feel his emotions and he was glad of that, because right now with her leaning against him for support he could not hide the protective instincts that surfaced once more. She could not feel the tensaiga reaching out to give her its energy. Yet he could not let her think that he was in anyway disappointed in her. He had to let her know how well she had done today. "The Kokoikomi is not as simple as the spirit shield. To be able to wield it, even for a short time is a feat indeed. Many take years to learn the discipline to use it for a mere moment. In time you will be able to hold onto it longer."

"The energy...I don't know...it changed..." she said trying to make him understand why she couldn't hold it any longer. Maybe he would know what she had done wrong. But her mind too tired to form coherent sentences.

"So you sensed nothing outside the barrier then?" he asked.

"No nothing...I could see you, but I couldn't hear anything, or sense anything it was like I was in my own world."

"That is good. The Kokoikomi is a barrier that secludes you from the rest of the world, nothing can pass through it. Energy, sound, smells...only sight. The energy changed because I threw a stone at it. We have two visitors who are eager to greet you, and I'm sorry to say I didn't notice them until it was almost too late." He said as he indicated the two children who were still standing where they had originally stopped.

Kagome turned and looked in the direction he had indicated. Surprise shone in her midnight eyes as she looked at Rin and Shippo who stood motionless on the path. She blinked trying to reconcile what she saw to what she knew of the energetic children. The breeze moved their hair and rustled the edges of their clothing, the only movements she could discern. She wondered briefly if he had placed a barrier or some sort of incantation on them.

"Are they all right?" Concern tinged with a little bit of fear laced her tones as she posed the question to him.

"Hai, they are fine." Sesshomaru stated, before calling out to them in a louder voice, "You may approach the miko now." The children eagerly moved towards the young miko, and he saw their intent. Kagome was too weak at this point to handle such enthusiasm. "Carefully, she is very tired so you must behave." He stated once more in those same deadly calm tones he had used to get them to stop just moments before.

Kagome watched as both Rin and Shippo walked sedately towards her with much more decorum than she ever imagined that they possessed. No matter how tired she was she couldn't help the affectionate smile that formed on her face when they stood before. She summoned up her strength to raise her arms, indicating it was all right to hug her, which they gingerly did; partly, because they had seen what happened to the rock, but mostly because the tone in Sesshomaru's voice demanded their obedience.

At that moment Sango and Miroku entered the clearing to be greeted by this most unexpected sight. Neither would have ever dreamed of finding Kagome and Sesshomaru sitting together in what looked to be a perfect picture of domestic bliss. The young woman was hugging the children to her, as she leaned against the seemingly docile taiyoukai. Had it been strangers to stumble upon such a scene they would have been hard pressed to stifle a smile at the living family portrait before them.

That was not the case for the monk and the taijiya. The monk was once again impressed with Kagome's abilities which had surprised him at every turn. She had been able to see the jewel shards he possessed, purify jewel shards infused with evil with a single touch, make Naraku retreat with a single arrow, and now here she was leaning against Sesshomaru as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Suddenly the demon lord was different in his mind. True, Sesshomaru still had that cold impassive look upon his face. But seeing Kagome leaning against him only seemed to make it more apparent how wrong they had been about him. If Sesshomaru truly had no feelings or compassion in him, he would not have allowed her to do so. That much Miroku was certain.

The taijiya however, was not so easy going about this at all. Years of training and distrust for youkai stirred within her. The sight of her friend resting so casually against such a powerful creature made her hair stand on end. Everything she had ever been taught, everything she knew was alarmed by what she saw. Her pulse quickened as adrenaline seeped into her system and she prepared herself for a battle.

A sideways glance at her traveling companion told her the monk was as surprised as she was. However the look on his face was indicative that he did not share her sentiments. In fact he seemed rather okay with what he saw. This alone made her question her instincts. She tried to calm her racing heart, and bring her pulse rate back to a normal level. Miroku and Kagome both felt no threat from the taiyoukai, but she still could not be entirely easy.

If Sango had to be honest, much of the current distrust she felt for the taiyoukai stemmed from how he made Inuyasha feel. That first day, she had not given Inuyasha's feelings a second thought. The day Kagome left for her time, the taijiya had been too angry at the idiot to really care what he thought. It wasn't until Miroku and Kagome had discussed their theories with her did she begin to feel sympathy for Inuyasha. The slayer knew first hand the pain a brother's betrayal caused, and suddenly she felt sorry for Inuyasha as she never had before. She knew with all her heart that it didn't matter how much you wanted to protect someone; there was no good reason to treat family like that. She would have given her life before she ever let Kohaku believe she didn't love him. And she couldn't forgive Sesshomaru for the pain she knew Inuyasha felt.

She looked around the clearing searching furtively for some sign of Inuyasha, only to find none. Unlike Miroku, she was not so sure about Sesshomaru's motives. She could not trust someone who would so easily cast aside their brother to 'protect' them. There was no logic and definitely no honor in that. Plus, she had witnessed just how angry Inuyasha was after receiving the taiyoukai's message...whatever it was. And so she was on her guard, carefully watching the taiyoukai for any misstep.

Sesshomaru was the only one of the four that noticed their approach. He caught Miroku's gaze and from him he could only sense a friendly sort of acquiescence to his presence. This was progress, although he was not entirely certain he wanted to be on overly friendly terms with this particular human. True he desired the monk's cooperation, but he wasn't sure about anything more.

Amber eyes rested on the taijiya. Amber eyes met brown. He watched as twin sable pools narrowed in suspicion as he held her gaze. The female warrior made no secret of her mistrust for him. He was taken a little off guard by such open animosity. He was suddenly on his guard, wary, anticipating an attack at any moment. He didn't expect a warm welcome from any of them, not after this morning's altercation with his brother, but the training with Kagome, and the monk's reaction to him had caused him to let his guard down for a moment. That all changed the instant he met the taijiya's eyes. The tensaiga at his side stilled at the change in his emotion.

Kagome, noticed a change in his demeanor, she felt him stiffen against her. She looked up to see her friends approach, and she smiled to them in welcome. Which was returned by the both of them, but she could tell something was wrong. And she cursed her weakness right now. She couldn't discern whose feelings were whose, everything was in a tangle and even though she focused she couldn't perceive where the strong emotions of distrust were coming from. But if she had to guess right now she would guess they originated from Sango.

Miroku was the first to speak, and Kagome could hear the amusement in his voice. "We were worried about you. I guess you've put your time to better use than coming to the village to let your friends know that you're back and everything's okay."

It was then that she realized how this situation must look to the perverted monk. She could not help the blush the spread across her cheeks as she recalled what Miroku had said to her a little over two weeks ago, "I think he has a crush on you." She almost rolled her eyes at the ridiculous thought. No matter how much power she possessed, she was a human after all. So she knew better than to even think there was anything to that theory. Sesshomaru had made it perfectly clear to her that she should look to the future for her happiness, and he had been right. Her future, her destiny, her love waited for her in the present. So the monk could think what he liked. She knew better.

"Sorry, Miroku, Sango, I ...we...were..." She said wearily.

Concern splashed across both their faces at the sound of her voice. She sounded tired, drained. She felt as well as saw their concern. Despite how tired she felt she summoned a smile to her face. She wanted to put them at ease. She had felt the animosity one of them held earlier and she wasn't going to fuel it. Kagome knew that she could not let either of them think that she had been harmed in any way. Instinctively she leaned a little more heavily against the solid form of Sesshomaru behind her for support. In response to her action the taiyoukai brought his hand up to place on her shoulder, causing her smile to deepen with affection. Both actions did not go unnoticed by the two who stood looking down at them. "I'm all right. Just a little tired. Today's training took a lot out of me."

"Training? So that's what you're calling it?" Miroku smirked which earned him a withering glare from the taijiya beside him.

Kagome rolled her eyes at the monk's statement, but knew to say anything else would only provoke him further. Instead she rested her gaze on Sango, who had yet to say anything. Sango met Kagome's gaze and knew her friend was waiting for her to say something. She didn't want to argue with Kagome, but she didn't like what she was seeing, either. So she decided she needed to remind Kagome about the missing member of the group.

"Where's Inuyasha?" she asked her tone almost accusing as she directed another wary glance at the taiyoukai who sat so casually with Kagome leaning against him. She wondered at his composure when she said his brother's name.

Kagome's face fell as she remembered the events of just a few hours earlier.

She had fought with Inuyasha, and she hoped he had gone back to the others by now. "Inuyasha wandered off...he got into a fight with me and Sesshomaru." The worry was evident in her voice.

Sesshomaru's eyes flickered to the top of the miko's head. He heard only too clearly her concern for his brother. He too was concerned for his brother. But he felt something else as well "...me and Sesshomaru." The words echoed in his head, managing to unsettle him once more. They were further proof of her acceptance of him and he could not help the feelings that stirred in the depths of his heart at this realization.

"Ah," Miroku said his voice serious this time, "I see he hasn't let go of what ever angered him from your message then." Violet eyes met amber, searching for anything that would give a hint as to what the message was.

Amber eyes looked up to regard the monk carefully. He wondered how much his brother had told this human. A moment's observation made it evident that the monk was searching for a reaction. So his brother had not told any of them that the Vendetta no longer stood between them. He found that he was only too willing at this point to keep the secret as well, especially in the face of this particular human's transparent attempt to get an answer from him.

"Hai. My brother was still angry." Sesshomaru's calm clipped tones made it evident that the monk was not to pursue the matter.

Kagome on the other hand was unfazed by the taiyoukai's tone and unspoken message. "What message? Neither of you mentioned a message."

"We did not. Inuyasha obviously wants it kept private a matter between brothers, I intend to honor his wish." he stated calmly.

Her strength was evidently returning as she pulled away to look at him then. He did not intend to have a conversation with her in front of the others. After that meeting with Lord Hikari, Sesshomaru did not want to give anyone else proof of how susceptible he was to this particular young woman. She was in good hands with the taijiya and the monk. He had trained with her already; it was time for him to address some matters with the imp. "Your friends are here, they will help you back to the village, I will return there before sundown. There are things that I must discuss with Jaken." He said rising to his feet.

Kagome looked up at him from where she sat on the ground, midnight eyes filled with unasked questions, silently pleading with him to stay and answer them. Again he felt compelled to do as she wished, but knew that to do so would solve nothing. Instead, he nodded to her in acknowledgement of her plea, and said, "I intend to stay with your group until the jewel is summoned. It has been decided that I should watch over you. There will be time for this conversation later, when my brother is present."

"Who decided that you're going to stay with us? That wasn't what was agreed upon, or have I missed something?" Sango asked eyeing the taiyoukai lord. No wonder Inuyasha was so upset. She was not sure she wanted this demon to stay with them all the time as well. Her father had always told her the demons that could assume the shape of a human were always the most dangerous. They were cunning and they were extremely powerful. There was no doubt in the taijiya's mind that the demon that stood next to her friend was the most powerful demon that she had ever encountered.

"It does not matter who, just know that there are demons and humans alike that would like nothing more than to see this jewel finally destroyed. And thanks to Kagome we finally have the answers we have sought these many years that will allow us to do so." His voice carried the authority of a sovereign speaking to his underlings as he eyed the taijiya.

"Destroy the jewel?" Kagome asked as she began to rise unsteadily to her feet. Amber eyes immediately were turned upon her. He saw her struggle. Again, without conscious thought he extended a hand to help her rise.

"Yes. We can not allow the jewel to exist. It is a disruption to the very fabric of life. Within that jewel lies the power to disintegrate life as we know it, reducing everything to nothingness." He explained still holding Kagome's gaze in his own.

"Only if it's used for evil" Sango said stiffly. Her words held an unspoken challenge that was reflected in her brown eyes.

Sesshomaru could easily discern the suspicion and resentment that burned in their sable depths. The taiyoukai pushed back his impatience at this human's impertinence. He did not expect such outright hostility from her as he recalled she had seemingly accepted him during the course of that first day. But then it had been two weeks since he had seen her, and if Inuyasha's reaction today was any indication of what he may have told the others, he could find no fault with her. Despite himself he found himself respecting her integrity, as well as her loyalty to his brother. And because of this he was able to overlook her rudeness.

"Not only evil...if it gains too much good energy as well." Sesshomaru explained patiently to the taijiya.

"The balances of the universe, yes... they must exist in equal proportion, one cannot survive without the other." Miroku said as understanding dawned within him.

Sesshomaru turned his gaze upon the monk. This human was as complex as Kagome. He too possessed a rather intuitive mind. After a moments pause he answered, "Yes. I see that you understand me. Now if you will excuse me, we can speak of this later. Kagome you should rest, tomorrow we will work with the Kokoikomi again. You will need to preserve your strength." With that said he walked away from the group. Rin trailed happily after him chatting away about what had happened since she had last seen him.

The remainder of the group watched him go with a mixture of emotions from relief to growing admiration.

"When did he become so nice?" Shippo asked no one in particular when Sesshomaru and Rin were out of sight. When no one commented right away he added with conviction "I think he was protecting Inuyasha."

Kagome smiled down at the small kitsune. Shippo always was a little outspoken, "Yes. It's funny but I guess sometimes first impressions aren't always correct. Sometimes when you look a little closer you're surprised at what you find." Again she felt a wave of tension, but this time she was able to trace it to Sango. Actually it wasn't that hard. Kagome didn't need to rely on her perceptions to tell her that her friend did not like Sesshomaru. Sango had made that quite clear to everyone present.

Kagome turned to regard her friend carefully, midnight searched fierce brown eyes, hoping to find some answers in those twin sable pools that would clear her confusion. When she had left five days ago Kagome was almost certain that Sango accepted Sesshomaru. The taijiya's seemingly about face took the young miko a little off guard. Kagome could only wonder what had changed since she had left?

Miroku noticed Kagome's confusion with relief. Sango had been more withdrawn since that day Inuyasha exploded. She had also become more doubtful of what Sesshomaru's intentions were, and unfortunately his suppositions seemed less and less viable to her with each passing day. Kagome would talk to her. She had spent more time with Sesshomaru, surely she would make Sango understand.

"Kagome, did you know Inuyasha yelled at everyone. He made Rin cry." Shippo said earnestly. He was only too ready to tell her what had happened while she had been gone. Everyone seemed a little on edge and the kitsune knew that Kagome would make it all right again. She always did.

Shippo's voice reminded the monk of his earlier promise to himself to watch what was said in front of the kitsune. No matter how much he would like to be a part of this conversation he knew it would be best if Shippo wasn't present. The kitsune would interrupt with intentions of helping and the monk was not about to risk another episode where they could no longer come to an understanding.

"Shippo," Miroku said with renewed enthusiasm, startling the group, "Kagome is very tired. We can tell her about all that later. How about you and I have a man to man talk, there's some things that I think you're ready to hear."

"Really?" Shippo said excitedly. This was the first time Miroku had said this to him and his chest puffed out with pride. Finally someone was going to explain all the strange things to him that made everyone turn red. Who better to do that than Miroku.

Miroku smiled at how easily diverted the young kitsune was. He bent down and whispered conspiratorially so only Shippo could hear. "Yes. So let's leave the girls alone. This is man talk and it's not meant for their ears."

"Oh." Shippo said his turquoise eyes going wide with delight at finally being included in something secret for once. And with a wink at the monk, the two of them walked off leaving the two young women to walk back to the village alone.

"You don't trust Sesshomaru." Kagome stated suddenly.

"Hai, I don't. I don't think I ever truly will...All my life I've fought demons such as he...and I have yet to meet one that I can truly trust." Sango said hesitantly.

"You trust Inuyasha." Kagome stated.

"Hai...but it was hard at first. If you recall I was misinformed and was only too willing to kill him. I trust him because he trusts me. You forget I stole his sword, and he trusts me still. I can only repay that trust with my own. He has more than proven himself to me. His brother has not...yet. But I trust you, and your instincts, but I can't let my guard down...not yet."

Kagome looked at her friend and knew there was more than what the taijiya was saying. "There's something else. The other day you weren't so angry with him. What happened to change that?"

Sango took a deep breath. Both Kagome and Miroku always seemed to really get to the heart of the matter. She and Miroku had this discussion several times when they were alone she did not relish having to do so again with Kagome. She doubted that Kagome would be able to make her understand what Miroku had tried already. He understood her position, but at the same time expected her to set it aside, and she couldn't do that. There were too many things they didn't know. And she doubted when they found out what they were it would make any difference. Inuyasha was already against this, and this would serve to fuel his anger and pain, especially now that Sesshomaru would be staying with them. She had seen his pain and anguish the other day after he received that mysterious message.

Today Sesshomaru looked so unruffled, so unperturbed as if nothing of any significance had happened. She knew different. Whatever that message was it was of the utmost of importance to Inuyasha. It stirred her anger to see Sesshomaru wear that same emotionless look that was always on his face. With all her heart she believed, she knew that no one who cared about their brother could be so nonchalant so impassive after sending a message that could send Inuyasha into such a frenzy. Yet Sesshomaru was and that only served to fuel her distrust and her animosity towards the demon.

Those thoughts gave Sango the courage and the energy to say what she knew her friend would not like to hear. But they had always been honest with one another, and now was not the time for deception, too much was at stake.

"I can't forgive him as easily as you and Miroku seem to be able to do. I'm not really sure about this whole using the Brother's Vendetta to protect Inuyasha theory. Sesshomaru is a taiyoukai, he rules the Western Lands. If he did use the codes in such a way he would be faced with open war from the other Lords. But if you and Miroku are right, I couldn't forgive him for turning on his brother like that, even if it was meant to protect Inuyasha. I know what it feels like to have your brother suddenly turn on you and try to kill you. I can't forgive that. No matter how noble the reason behind it, there had to be another way, a better way. And to see him sitting here, as if nothing had happened between him and Inuyasha, it's hard to imagine he has any feelings whatsoever. You didn't see how angry Inuyasha was after he got that message from Sesshomaru. I have never seen him so angry. It was a blind rage and he lashed out at everyone and everything. For the rest of the time since then he's been keeping to himself, withdrawn and sullen. Whatever was in that message did that, and his brother seems to treat it as it was nothing."

Kagome listened to her friend's passionate speech in silence. Now at least she knew what had happened to change her friend's attitude so drastically. She'd get the details later, right now her concern were Sango's feelings towards Sesshomaru. Right now she knew it was important for Sango to accept Sesshomaru. She couldn't quite explain why, but she knew it was important that they all did.

"Sango, I'm not saying what he did was right, in fact it was very wrong. No one should ever use hatred as a way to save someone else. Especially someone you care about. I can't tell you why he did it, he hasn't told me anything. I understand how you feel, and I know how Sesshomaru appears on the outside. In some ways he and Inuyasha are very much alike. Both of them don't like people to know how they really feel. Inuyasha is scared to let others in, afraid that they'll turn on him. Sesshomaru views his feelings as a weakness something that can endanger those he holds dear. Look at how he acts with Rin and Jaken. He doesn't treat them any different than his enemies. But the fact that he allows them near him, and that he protects them speaks volumes to how he really feels about them.

I believe Miroku, because I came up with the same conclusion on my own after talking with Sesshomaru. It's because of him that Inuyasha has the Tetsusaiga in the first place. If it wasn't for him we wouldn't have known just how powerful tetsusiaga really is. I've thought about this a lot while I was away. It was so much easier to deal with Sesshomaru when we thought he wanted to kill Inuyasha. But since I've trained with him, and witnessed some of the things he's capable of I know if he really wanted Inuyasha dead he wouldn't have waited this long to do it. He wouldn't resort to trickery or play some silly game he would just simply do it.

Sango, I can feel his pain and disappointment, just as clearly as I felt that demon's confusion when Sesshomaru destroyed the horde. It's just as clear to me as your anger was a moment ago. It's almost like they're my emotions, but I know they're not. Like smells...you just know what the scent is, when I encounter strong emotions I can identify them...strange huh?"

"Nothing would surprise me where your abilities are concerned. It's just I can't help but think how horrible it must have been for Inuyasha to have his brother suddenly turn on him, and to continually have to fight his brother. No wonder he was so upset when he got the message."

"I know. I saw how upset Inuyasha was when I got out of the well today. He was trying to kill Sesshomaru. I couldn't let him do that knowing what I know." Kagome said seriously, her eyes taking on a faraway look as visions of what happened earlier that day played out once more in her mind. Her face showed her concern and Sango knew that Kagome felt for both brothers. And after listening to Kagome she couldn't help but feel for them as well. They both had lost.

"No. Killing Sesshomaru would probably haunt him as much if not more than finding out about the Vendetta." Sango said her voice now devoid of the earlier hostility and anger that laced her earlier speech. Instead it was filled with an empathy only she could feel. She knew what it was like to fight a brother, and she had come close to taking his life. She knew she would have taken her own as well. There was no way she would have been able to live with herself if she had killed Kohaku. No matter who controlled his mind, he would always be her little brother.

Kagome nodded her assent. "If only Sesshomaru could understand that calling off the Vendetta wouldn't be a death sentence for his brother."

Sango looked at her friend in surprise and for the first time thought to question the depth of the intimacy that was happening between the two. "He told you that?"

"Yes. I asked him to let it go, to fight by his side. I never felt so much sadness before when he told me that no matter what he did Inuyasha's anger would always hate him. I know that I really don't know, but I don't think Sesshomaru wanted to use the Vendetta to protect his brother. It's just a feeling." Kagome stopped then, suddenly feeling as if she had said more than she ought. Sesshomaru wouldn't want anyone to know about his feelings. They were his to deal with. She would have to learn to respect that. However right now she needed to know if she had gotten through to her friend. "Will you give Sesshomaru a chance?"

Sango smiled at her friend's earnest expression. It was evident that Kagome believed this with every fiber of her being. It was also clear that the emotions between the two brother's alone was enough to really worry her friend, and she would do nothing to trouble Kagome's heart further. "You haven't led us wrong yet. And in my heart I know you'll never intentionally lead us into danger. But if he is here for darker purposes, if this is indeed a trick. Then I will be here to fight him by your side, know that. But until then I will try to see what you and Miroku see."

"If only we could get Inuyasha to feel that way. I'm afraid he hates Sesshomaru too much to see clearly. I have never seen him angry like that in his hanyou state. For a moment I'd wondered if he'd turned into a demon while I was gone."

"I wouldn't doubt it. I'd never seen him in such a rage before in my entire life." Sango said before launching into a detailed retelling of what had happened when Inuyasha got the message. "We've been careful not to bring it up with him since then."

"Oh, poor Inuyasha, he probably thinks we've all abandoned him. I wish I would have known all this before I argued with him." Kagome mused sadly as guilt began to build within her and she wished she could take back her harsh words from earlier.

"It's not your fault. There's no way you could have known. If I know Inuyasha he's probably sitting in a tree somewhere thinking over whatever you told him. He trusts you Kagome. You need to have faith in him. He'll come around too. He just needs time." Sango said reassuring her friend. The taijiya knew without a doubt that if anyone could get through to the hanyou it was Kagome. Her friend truly had the gift of making people understand and feel for others.

Inuyasha was indeed sitting in a tree thinking over what Kagome said. Despite his efforts to be angry with her he found that he could not. Not after everything they had been through together. Not after everything she had done for him. Inuyasha knew he had been rash and irrational today. He had let his anger cloud his judgment once again and he had lashed out at the one person who cared about him more than anyone since his mother ever had. He had accused her of walking away from him. But he was the one who had left. He accused her of lying the other night.

Fragments of things she had said to him that night swirled in and out of his mind.

"...I trust you just as I know you trust me...Even if you went to hell you would always have a place in my heart..."

He remembered the guilt he had felt as she spoke those words. Inuyasha remembered how ashamed he was to accept such feelings from her. He remembered how weak he was, how he accepted her strength and comfort anyways all the while knowing what he had to say would tear her heart to shreds.

She had come to him then knowing that her heart was about to be broken. She knew she could have lost everything she held dear, but she had been brave...braver than he had ever been. The emotions he had felt overwhelmed him in a hurricane of confusion, but she had weathered the winds and had been strong enough for the both of them to reach an understanding. She had survived stronger than before and found the truth in what they meant to each other. She had faced potential heartache and come away with the truth. They were friends. They loved each other, and nothing was ever going to change that.

Today she had proven that again. She hadn't walked away. She argued and fought, wanting him to understand to believe in what she said for his sake, not for hers or anyone else's. She fought him as fiercely as he had fought demons to save her life. But she wasn't trying to just save his life. Kagome was trying to save his heart, his spirit, his very soul. That realization humbled him and extinguished any remnants of anger he felt towards her that lingered within him.

What Kagome had said to him this morning appealed to his heart. The small voice of hope that dwelt within its secret depths gained strength from her arguments. Even now it rallied to destroy the truths that he had so carefully constructed to protect it from further harm. She challenged the core belief that he had held so fiercely to. The knowledge that nothing good lasted had been his most powerful argument, but she had managed to shatter that with what she said. Even now he could hear the words she had spoken.

"You're scared that you'll get hurt again. You're scared that no one will be there, that's why you're walking away from me now. Well guess what, you will get hurt again. And there'll be times when you're alone again. If you allow yourself to feel there'll also be times when you're happy, and times when you'll be surrounded by your friends. But if you can't trust yourself to deal with the bad feelings you have inside of you, you'll miss out on a whole lot more than you'll ever know. You have to trust yourself to get over the bad times if you are ever going to find any peace."

He knew without a doubt Kagome believed every word of that speech. And deep down Inuyasha also knew that she was right. He had been angry for so long. He didn't want to feel that pain ever again. Anger and indifference had been the only emotions he had allowed himself to feel. After Kikyo had been revived and he realized the depth of her hate for him, it had been all too easy to use his feelings for her as an excuse to keep everyone out.

But he had failed. With great effort Kagome had found her way into his heart. This brave young girl from another time had taught him what love really was. Sitting here he couldn't deny that he truly cared for her as she cared for him. He found that his feelings for Kagome didn't lessen the ones he felt for Kikyo. Which made him realize something else his heart was his own to give to those he chose to. More importantly he realized love was indeed infinite. Kagome had been right about that too.

Kagome was so different than anyone he had ever met. She let everyone in and accepted them for who they were. Once more he thought about how they were an unlikely group of allies. Because of her they all fought side by side. But each of them had acted wrongly at some point or other...all of them except Kagome. Out of all of them she was the most forgiving and accepting. He had tried to kill her when they first met. Shippo had stolen the sacred jewel shard from her. Miroku had kidnapped her, briefly, and taken the shards from her as well. But she had forgiven their transgressions and each one of them had been bestowed with the gifts of her trust and affection.

Even him, unexpectedly him, a hanyou the most despised of all the creatures in this world. She had accepted him despite the pain he had caused her. Kagome had done even more than that she had looked into the depths of his being and saw someone worth saving... someone worth fighting for. It was ironic because even he had given up on himself long before. He had always thought he had to change who he was to become better. Be it demon or human he was willing to become whichever one to be loved and accepted. She had taught him to believe in himself once more, to accept and be proud of who and what he was, a hanyou. He had the strength of a demon but he possessed a human heart without which he would be an insatiable killing machine bent on destruction like many of the weaker youkai.

This comforting thought led to disturbing ones. Kagome now trusted his brother. He wondered if she saw something in Sesshomaru worth saving. Did she look into his soul and see the brother he had been? The brother he still missed in that secret...oh so human part of his heart. Did she see the demon he had once idolized and followed? Before he came of age Inuyasha emulated everything Sesshomaru did, wanting to be good enough, to be just like his brother.

Even back then Sesshomaru was powerful and strong. His brother had always been an imposing figure though he was not unapproachable as he was now. When he was younger he thought Sesshomaru was a god. He remembered waiting anxiously for his brother's afternoon visits in the meadow on the outskirts of the village where he had lived with his mother. Sesshomaru would teach him about his powers. Often they would race across the meadow to the stream where Sesshomaru had taught him how to use his legs the proper way to leap.

Everything was different back then. His brother wasn't as cold as he was now. He could still remember looking into his brother's eyes when Sesshomaru had called forth the Brother's Vendetta before the assembled dignitaries. He remembered looking at his brother, his heart beating furiously in pain. His brother's eyes had changed that day. They were no longer the soft warm amber eyes that glinted like hammered gold.

That day they had seemed so foreign so cold and he could not read them. They were the eyes he now met whenever he saw his brother. They were the eyes that always pulled at that tender part of his heart, the part that still grieved and wondered why. That secret part of his heart that he didn't want to admit still existed, it hurt to much. It still remembered that awful day. Even now he could not feel anything through the shock and pain that grabbed his heart and tore it to pieces. He still wondered what he had done to provoke his brother. Even now he knew if given the chance he would undo whatever it was just so he would never have to remember that day. So he would never have to feel that pain again. Even now it tore at his heart.

"You will hurt...you will be alone...." Kagome's voice echoed in his mind then. "You have to trust yourself to get over the bad times if you are ever to find peace." She was right. He hadn't gotten over it. He hadn't forgotten, and it hurt just as badly as it did that day. If he ever was to move forward he would have to put it behind him. He just wished he knew how.

The Vendetta no longer stood between them. He couldn't understand his pain. He had wanted this from the day it had happened. Now that it had he couldn't trust it to be real. He couldn't trust it to last. No matter how badly his heart wanted to try, he couldn't.

"You can trust Kagome" his heart said.

"Inuyasha, you are troubled once more with the cares of this fight." Kikyo's voice penetrated his mind effectively pulling him out of his thoughts. He looked down to see her below. Annoyance filled him then. He didn't want to talk to her right now. He wanted to be alone, and he doubted she would ease his thoughts.

Once more the dead miko had not intended to come to him. But the insistent tugging at her soul had begun yet again this morning. Initially she had tried to ignore it, but it proved too great a prospect as the day wore on. As she gazed upon him now the pull lessened. Whatever had called her here to him must have passed, but she would not turn back now.

"You could say that. I really don't want to talk about it anymore." He replied dismissively.

She felt her anger rise at his tone. How dare he dismiss her?! It was his pain that had called her here in the first place. She did not want to come. She had fought against it. The sight of him only brought back the bitterness and anger that she had been trying to forget. Duty, however hollow, was preferable to the all consuming hate that flowed through her veins she now felt.

"Then stop brooding over it. Your anger calls to me, begging me to take you from this plane. If you are not ready to leave then cease this foolishness. As it is you should not concern yourself with the cares of others, shortly you will no longer be in their lives. I shall remind you again; you have no heart to feel with, you have no soul to sear. I possess them both."

Her voice was full of bitter angry emotion that provoked him. If only what she said were true, then everything would be so easy. He could sit with his brother and feel nothing. The past wouldn't matter, nor would the present. If he didn't have a heart he could be indifferent. He felt only too keenly the emotions that held his heart in their painful grip.

"Enough Kikyo, the hatred and bitterness you have blinds you to the truth. You once understood, but now you can't and I'm sorry for that. How I wish you spoke the truth now. But my heart is my own. I still have it, and it still feels pain." Inuyasha replied sadly.

"How dare you speak to me like this, as if I were a fool." She spat venomously her ebony eyes glittered up angrily at him. Then a thought occurred the dead priestess, there was only one who could make Inuyasha feel this way. Only one person she knew him to be upset over. And that person possessed her soul. How dare he think he was free of her, especially when the imposter still manipulated his heart! "It is still this girl that troubles you. She is but a cheap imitation of me. So don't tell me I don't possess your heart, you may give it to her, but ultimately it is still mine as she and I possess the same soul."

"She is more than just you, and don't you ever forget that." Inuyasha stated firmly. His anger was evident even to the dead miko who could do nothing but stare back at him with those cold dead eyes, filled with anger. Inuyasha stared back at her daring her to say anything more. But she remained silent, seething below him.

Looking down at her was painful enough without having just said what he had. He loved her. Time had passed. Death had taken both of them, but it did not change the feelings in his heart. Nothing would. Nothing could. And he knew one day he would save her. But before he could save her first he would have to save himself. Without another word he turned and leapt through the trees, away from her. Towards the one person he knew would help him find his salvation and Kikyo's redemption.

Ebony eyes burned with rage as they watched the hanyou jump through the trees. Anger and rage simmered within her body. The girl was nothing...nothing compared to the miko that she had been. Her reincarnation lacked the discipline, and even the knowledge to control the powers that lay dormant within her soul. The girl had been lucky so far. But luck could only take you so far.

The powers were wasted on the girl Kagome. The girl did not deserve to have them if she wasn't able to fully understand and use them. How could such a person have the same soul as she? The girl lacked not only sense but honor and duty as well. Those powers were a responsibility. They were meant to help others, not just chase down jewel shards and ingratiate herself further into Inuyasha's heart. Because of this girl he stayed.

"She is more than just you, and don't you ever forget that." The words echoed in her mind. Fanning the bitter feelings within her even further, the girl was nothing compared to her. What had this girl done? Nothing...Naraku still existed, Inuyasha still walked this earth, and she was left with only hate, anger and hollow indifference. While this girl, this pathetic insignificant girl traveled at Inuyasha's side, corrupting his mind and heart. The power that lie within the girl had so far gone unnoticed, untapped, with the exception of the pathetic arrows. The girl possessed many gifts that she had yet to learn.

These bitter thoughts led her to conclude that the girl should be relieved of the remainder of the soul they shared. She did not deserve to have such powers within her if she hadn't been able to understand them, let alone use them. She would take back what was rightfully hers, and then nothing would stand between her and vengeance. She would make them all pay, everyone who had a part in her death. Retrieving the rest of her soul would ensure her victory. And then she would be free. Free from death. Free to hate and free to love once more. Free to feel.


Revised, Edited, Reposted 11/5/04

Author's Note: I am continuing to revise, edit and repost chapters as errors are brought to my attention. Special thanks to theBigW for all his edits, his help has been immeasurable and very much appreciated. As always thanks for reading. Feel free to leave a review either by pressing the button below or sending an email.