Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of its characters they are the property of Rumiko Takahashi. This story was written for the purposes of entertainment and I by no means will profit from the story other than the satisfaction of exercising my imagination and writing abilities.
Chapter 22: A New Day: A New Hope
It was that time between night and day when the celestial show was between acts. The moon had set and the sun had yet to rise, the land was once more bathed in that blue gray light that preceded the dawn. Within the deep shadows of this early hour the inhabitants of this concealed castle stirred. Safe, sequestered behind a curtain of energy and miasma that was thick with poisonous fumes that would suffocate the strongest of demons, a malevolent coward considered his next move.
Eyes that glittered like polished onyx regarded the small form that knelt in silent subservience at his feet. Sensual lips curved slightly upwards in malicious satisfaction as the hanyou reminisced about how the young boy had come into his service. It was one of his most cherished memories of a plan gone wrong. He'd known defeat before as well as victory now and again but nothing was as sweet to him as the side effects of this particular plan gone awry.
It truly was such a simple plan and the taijiya were so trusting. Initially, everything had went just as he had planned. The best taijiya had arrived from the villager leaving it's defenses weak. He knew the demons would be all too eager to decimate those that were left behind. The warriors that had come had a special. What a surprise it had been to notice that among the elite were a young boy and a girl. He had almost laughed outright when he had seen the two of them amongst the group. It had been sheer indulgence on his part to ensure the girl survived to the last. The fight between the siblings was an unexpected but welcome treat. In the end they had both lay dead, and their village destroyed. The clan of the taijiya forever wiped clean from the land. How easily they had all fallen.
He sighed deeply. Total victory was not yet his. One taijiya had managed to defy him. The young woman had survived. She had stood out even from the first, though for very different reasons. Naraku had watched her closely as she fought the demon and then her brother. He had been astonished that such a fierce and determined spirit as she possessed was to be found within such a fragile creature as a woman. Naraku knew only of one other, but she had fallen. Her will to live gone with the love she once possessed, unfortunately he had forgotten self sacrifice was common among those that held the title miko.
This young woman however possessed the spirit of a warrior. And she had fought like one; for her own survival. Sango had clawed her way through death and earth to be part of this world again. She did not know her village lay in shambles, everyone and everything she had known and cared about was destroyed. He wasted no time in letting her learn of their fate.
He reminisced fondly as he could almost taste her pain and heart wrenching sorrow all over again. She had been putty in his hands then. He had even dreamt of possessing her for his own, making her his queen when Inuyasha and the others were dealt with. If she had survived that is. He had been certain that she would succeed, but then he didn't count on her particular ideas of justice. That sense of truth that dwelt within the girl was something he had not counted on, nor understood, but now he feared it. She had turned on him in an instant when she realized he had deceived her. Now her loyalty and skills lay in the hands of his enemy. For that betrayal he had sought to make her pay.
Naraku had known exactly how to make her suffer. He intended for her to suffer the fate that should have been hers. She would die facing her brother in battle or live with the knowledge that she had killed him. Then he would send her to hell and the land would be rid of taijiya. Once more this plan had flaws in it that he had somehow failed to foresee.
The taijiya, that fierce warrior he had witnessed just days before had disappeared. Gone was her will to live, to fight. In place of the warrior he expected was a woman, weak and full of emotions. Her suffering both physically and emotionally was his only consolation. Deprived of the battle to sully the jewel, he would watch her die futilely trying to reach her brother. What a pathetic end to one whose spirit had shown great promise, but in the end she was weak.
Once more he had been wrong. Something else had happened that he had not expected. Kohaku had faltered in his attack.
He had only sought to reanimate the boy, not restore his soul, but something had gone wrong. The soul should not have accompanied the boy. But it had. Sango had broken through to her brother somehow; still he could not understand it. And he sought to destroy them both then and there. At that moment in time he could feel a strong bond between them. Whatever its name it was a pure unselfish unsullied emotion deeper than anything he had felt between any two creatures before. It both frightened and intrigued him. Instinctively he knew they must be destroyed. Despite this knowledge he had allowed them to live a while longer.
Something had held him back… pleasure… Their pain had given him pleasure as he had watched the struggle. That heartbreak that had so encompassed her entire being before she had broken through to him; that unmistakable sense of deep betrayal that ran into the soul. From the boy there was a self loathing, a deep despair that was etched into the very marrow of his bones. The emotions that had flowed through the two siblings had filled him with such malicious joy, the likes of which he had not known since Kikyo and Inuyasha. He knew it would be a long time before, (if ever) he would experience such pain again, and in the workings of an instant he had made a decision.
And in that moment of introspection disaster had almost struck in the form of an arrow. Onyx eyes glittered with unabashed hatred at the thought of the strange miko named Kagome that traveled with his nemesis. She reminded him of everything he wished to destroy in this world. He would in the end, and the pain and suffering he would instill would be great. But first there were many battles that lay ahead of him, and he would savor every victory and study every loss until he accomplished what he had set out to do. The last battle had ended in failure; another of his creations had been thwarted, he needed something to enjoy.
Once again his eyes saw the prone figure of Kohaku before him. Sango may not turn on her brother and add to the energy of the jewel, but he could toy with them for a while longer and derive pleasure from their pain. Her suffering stirred him as Kikyo's once did.
The still all too human heart within his body gave a traitorous lurch at the mere whisper of the dead priestess' name across his thoughts. Even in her current state of being her soul resided in body that was neither living or dead, just an empty shell who was only a dark shadow of the woman she had once been, the mere thought of her still haunted the dark recesses of his human heart with an incessant need to possess her. Her presence no longer filled him with the sadistic joy it once did. No longer did he dream of tearing from her that love that would never be his, another had done that for him. She walked the earth as he had only dreamt that she would, but there was no joy in that, just empty satisfaction. The self righteous holy miko had become what she had despised… a pitiful being filled only with malice and vengeance.
Though her presence could no longer provide him true amusement, it served as a valuable reminder to him of how dangerous the game he played with Sango and Kohaku was. Fifty years ago he had made a mistake, and because of her he knew better. Naraku knew he could not allow Sango to shed blood, for the hanyou was certain that ultimately it would be the taijiya's own. Such a selfless sacrifice had the potential to cleanse the jewel, regardless of her lack of miko powers. The hanyou knew better than to risk his hard fought work. That bond between the boy at his feet and the taijiya was strong as any power he had felt from the miko that still held a place in the human heart that still beat within his body. Yes, he would allow them to find each other again. For a moment he would allow her to hope as she always did and then vengeance and victory would be his. Sango would finally suffer the fate that should have been hers. She would die at the hands of her brother with a shattered heart.
Naraku knew that with the loss of the female taijiya the group would be weakened. They would mourn the loss of their friend. They would fight with their emotions. They would make mistakes and he would kill them all.
"It is time to face your sister again." The silky tones of the hanyou broke the quiet silence that typically engulfed the castle.
Naraku regarded the young boy as the small taijiya raised his head to look at his master. His lips curved more upwards as a full fledged smile of malignant self satisfaction graced his lips as he anticipated the coming events. Into the silent halls he spoke, "Soon, my dear Sango, soon you shall have everything you have ever desired, and I will glory in the agony of your soul."
Empty brown eyes stared back at him. Subservient obedience was evident in every aspect of the boy's movements. He felt the malevolent power of the jewel within his veins. His power had increased tenfold since the last time the siblings met. Satisfied with what he saw and felt the hanyou turned and walked away leaving the young boy in his cell once more.
Kohaku regarded his master dispassionately. The silky soothing tones of his master's voice held his attention. But more than that, it kept the pain at bay. It kept the feelings from encroaching upon him. There was a sense of consciousness that was suspended at the edges of this oblivion that he resided in. All at once he both desired and dreaded to reach out and grab it.
"…my dear Sango... Sango… Sango…"
That name forced away the haze. The clouds and the mists lifted, for a brief moment of suspended time he could see a face. A beautiful face, the face of an angel with brown eyes like his, filled with something he no longer knew, yet he felt he should. He could see her standing tall before him, her dark hair swept up in a ponytail, a smile upon her lips. He knew her. Something called to him from the recesses of his consciousness, a feeling, long forgotten, wanting to be remembered. A voice whispered his name in soft feminine tones both foreign and familiar all at once.
"Kohaku…"
Instinctively he knew it was hers, the angel's. Something in the tones created from memories locked somewhere deep inside himself awakened a feeling of warmth. Slowly he let the feeling ebb its way into his consciousness, testing, waiting with trepidation for something to follow. And it did. It always did. A surge of despair came upon his heart full force as the picture of the girl changed. Her soft eyes that had held such affection now pleaded with him, with some emotion that made him want to cry out in tortured anguish. The tones of her voice rose and then it coupled with others, countless incomprehensible voices rose together in a cacophony of pain that threatened to consume him in the feeling of utter despair that started to wrap its icy fingers around his fragile heart.
"You don't want to remember. If you obey me you'll never have to remember again." The voice sprang from memory. The silky tones of his masters soothing voice was like the eye of a hurricane, alone place surrounded by chaos that was safe. He fought through the emotions grasping on to the remembered sound of his master's voice. He could still feel the typhoon of emotions swirling about, waiting to pull him under in a crushing tidal wave of truth he could not bear to face.
He saw her face one last time before it too faded into the hurricane that swirled beyond the safe haven of the abyss. He saw within her eyes a silent promise for one brief shining moment he knew the truth…he knew who she was… Sango…. his sister…his savior… she would save him because he couldn't save himself. Then the emptiness took him, and once more the truth was forgotten. Once more alone in his cell, safe in the abyss of emotionless existence without memory or feeling, the young boy moved mechanically to follow where his master had led.
The first rays of the sun began to stretch over the horizon, turning the sky that hazy shade of mauve and orange. Sango looked at the woman who lay sleeping next to her and smiled slightly. Kagome had been asleep when she returned to the hut with Miroku. Just the thought of his name caused a rare smile to grace her lips. She sighed, a happy contented sigh. The taijiya could not lie there anymore. She had to be up, active or she felt she would explode.
Slowly, carefully, Sango turned to look around the small room that was still cast in deep shadows. The others were still asleep. She hadn't slept at all. Part of her was too giddy to sleep and part of her was scared that if she did, when she woke up she'd find everything that happened last night had been just another dream. She had lain awake all night replaying everything in her head. Wanting the morning to come, knowing only then would she be fully secure that it hadn't been another in the series of empty beautiful dreams created from the secret desires she held within her. She's had so many of them over the time she had known the monk, yet none of them could compare to last night.
Sango briefly touched a finger to her lips. He touched them with his last night, and had unleashed within her exquisite intoxicating emotions that she had never dreamed existed. She sighed in happy remembrance as she stood silently and walked out of the hut. She could feel the warmth spreading throughout her cheeks. Sango was surprised to find that she did not want to share this with anyone just yet. For some reason this was something special, intimate, that belonged only to her and Miroku. Later, she would share the details with the woman she thought of as sister, but not yet. For now, what happened last night would be hers to savor. The dawn had come, and with it a hope she had not known for a long time.
The morning air was cool and brisk against her skin. But yet that just seemed to further enforce the truth of it all. Last night had not been a dream conjured from the romantic imaginings of her heart. Her eyes wandered to the edge of the forest, her keen hearing listening to the peaceful quiet that still hovered over the village. Even the gentle sounds of the village beginning to awake brought to mind perfect harmony. Too many mornings she had seen the sunrise and not noticed the beauty and serenity that engulfed the land the moment before it truly awakened. Today was different, filled with a promise she had not felt in a long time… Miroku loved her. The knowledge of that changed everything.
How very different everything had happened last night than she had thought. She had dreamed of him going on about how beautiful she was, confessing undying love and devotion, with words and words, but that hadn't happened. Yet what happened was more powerful and more meaningful than she had thought possible.
Again she replayed the scene within her mind.
She had arrived in the clearing to find Miroku and Kagome sitting alongside one another. From the looks on their faces whatever they had been discussing was very personal. She noted the glint in Miroku's eye, and the look of welcoming encouragement on Kagome's face. In the silver moonlight Sango's sharp eyes could make out the blush that stained her friend's cheeks. For a brief moment she felt jealousy well up within her heart.
Now in the pale light of the early morning, armed with the knowledge that her feeling was unfounded she could almost giggle at herself. But yet she could not. She knew where that jealous feeling stemmed from. It had been born the first time she had heard Miroku admire another woman… a goddess at that. Every time he admired someone else it grew. Time and again she reminded herself of how unstable, unsuitable he was, but to no avail. Her heart was set. She had been torn between logic and her heart's desire. How many times had she wished to give in? How many times had her heart swelled with emotion when he touched her? But she had always known better to give in.
In the secret safety of the solitude of her subconscious dreams she had, so many times. In these manufactured visions he would confess his undying love for her, fall at her feet and beg forgiveness for not knowing it was she whom he loved best of all. With beautiful words spoken like a poet he would compare her beauty to the stars and heavens, proclaim her to be one without compare. The memories of these dreams were enough to almost make her laugh out loud for the foolish notions of her girlish desires. Thankfully she had shared them with no one, not even Kagome.
Last night had shown her how corrupted her thoughts had become listening to the various women in the inns they had stayed at. They knew nothing of love, that's why they sat dreamily talking of what they wished for. They had nothing to hold onto but those flimsy wishes. She had something more, the reality and certainty of being loved.
Miroku, the monk with the silver tongue, had not said much, and what he had said was not his usual eloquent speech meant to ensnare a woman's heart. He had told her of his fear of dying, he had spoken to her of his father, of being alone, and then he had told her he loved her. "I love you." Those three words were all he had used to declare his heart to her. It was then that she realized the power those three words could carry when they were spoken earnestly, with truth and sincerity. There was no need to truss them up with superfluous sentiment that meant nothing. Those three words told her everything she had ever dreamt of hearing.
Again her hand went instinctively to her lips. She could still feel his lips against hers. That gentle pressure, the taste of him within her mouth when she had gasped in pleasant surprise. His mouth upon hers had been firm, steady yet tender and slowly, patiently he had let her taste of him as he had of her. It was not the passionate lust-filled kisses she had heard those same women describe, yet it ignited feelings and desires for her that she did not know herself to possess. After the kiss they had just stared into each others eyes. She knew her heart had found its home. Whatever time they had left, it would be theirs… together…neither of them was alone anymore.
A noise from behind her startled her and she spun around in alarm, only to come face to face with the man she had been thinking about. He wasted no time in greeting, just slightly bowed his head and claimed her lips for an all too brief kiss.
"Morning" he whispered huskily as he embraced the woman before him. He smiled in contentment as she leaned into him, accepting him. Last night had changed everything for him as well, but unlike Sango, he slept with the knowledge that it was real. The events the night before had granted him a peace he had never in his entire life known. For once he was certain of something.
"Mmm, morning" she whispered back. She leaned into him letting the warmth of his body ease the chill from her skin.
They stood there in contented silence. Hearts touching in silent promise, knowing that today would be the beginning for them. Both of them wanted this fragile peace that surrounded them to last forever. They savored the moment of just being there, the two of them holding onto to one another, suspending it in time forever ingrained in their hearts. In this moment it was only the two of them. There was no Naraku, no curse, no worries to plague them, just the truth and the joy of each other.
Shippo's voice calling out to Kagome to wake up broke the spell that hung over the two. In mutual agreement they pulled away from each other. Only their eyes locked in intimate embrace. Both of them felt that this was too new to be shared with the others. A brief kiss on her cheek, and without a word Miroku set off towards the village well.
Sango watched him go, letting her thoughts wander once more. For the first time in her life she knew what a woman who was loved in return felt. There had been men she had dreamt of before, even in her own village there had been those that she had fancied herself attracted to. Yet she had always felt she would never know what it would be like to be loved in return. Thankfully that fear had been unfounded, and today she could greet the day with something more than equanimity, something she hadn't realized she had been living without… hope.
Somewhere along the way she had stopped believing that anything was possible. The only things that kept her moving were her feelings of duty and guilt. Sango had known that in the end she would have to kill her brother, and then she would have to answer his blood with her own. That was the only honorable solution to the problem that faced her. The taijiya had always believed her time with the group was only temporary, whether it was a fall in battle or the work of her own hand, she knew one day she would die. Such was her fate. Such was the fate of any human. Life was a temporary state of being, she had seen enough of death to know that it was an inevitable fate that all would someday meet. She neither welcomed death, nor feared it, but rather accepted it as fact.
Just as she accepted the fact that no man would ever love her…truly love her for who she was… a female taijiya.
Sango had felt instinctively for a while that men were rather taken by surprise that she was a taijiya. Countless times she had watched expressions change on forgotten faces from admiration to shock when they discovered she was the slayer sent to them. Always she had known that she would not have a family of her own. She had resigned herself to that being the way of things. When men sought a wife, they didn't want someone to stand beside them. That's what comrades were for. What they required of a wife was everything she was not… beautiful, soft spoken, and most importantly domestic. Miroku had shown her differently last night and had given her hope.
She had been wrong about never finding someone to love her despite what she was and what she lacked. Maybe she had been wrong about Kohaku. Maybe there was another way besides death. There was hope that maybe she wasn't the last, maybe she and Kohaku could live and the traditions, honor and culture of their people would not be extinguished forever. One day, the taijiya would stand again…warriors who lived and died with honor and purpose. Sango smiled, the dawn of a new day had never seemed so bright.
Kagome silently observed her friend from the doorway of the hut. She smiled, satisfied that the outcome of whatever happened between the two last night had indeed ended happily. She looked back into the hut at the two small children that were eating rice out of bowls at the table. Thankfully Shippo's hunger had diverted his thoughts from Sango and Miroku. The last thing Sango needed right now was Shippo telling her that he saw her and Miroku kissing this morning.
Kagome shook her head in bemusement as she remembered the small kitsune waking her from one of the few dreamless restful sleeps she had in a while. Yesterday had left her thoroughly exhausted both mentally and physically. So much had happened within the scope of twenty four hours she had fallen asleep almost instantly, to wake up to a small excited Kitsune whispering, "Wake up Kagome, wake up, you gotta see this, you won't believe it. Sango let Miroku kiss her and she didn't hit him. Hurry up you're gonna miss it."
Awake instantly at those words, Kagome knew she had to distract the kitsune or else he and Rin would have intruded upon a private moment between the two. Within this group she knew those would be hard for the two to come by so had suggested breakfast with the promise of a chocolate bar if they had finished their bowls of rice. Now the two children sat diligently eating their breakfast with the elderly priestess.
"Kaede, I better go and find Inuyasha and let him know we're eating. I'm surprised he's not here already. Usually he's up at the crack of dawn waking us up and telling us to hurry. But after last night…" she ended it there, not wanting to say anything more. Partially blaming herself for wanting to be alone, and then spending the evening talking to Miroku and his brother, only to fall into an exhausted and dreamless sleep. Inuyasha had not been part of her thoughts last night and he should have been. "I hope he's okay."
"Did ye not see Inuyasha last night child?" Kaede asked eyeing the young woman who stood before her with curiosity.
Kagome shook her head, and smiled self depreciatingly as she looked at the older woman, "no, I just needed to be alone last night for a little bit. I knew no one would let me, so I just sort of …."
"I understand." Kaede said nodding her head. The young woman before her held many secrets within her. The elderly priestess had seen enough of youngsters to know that often they needed to be alone to find the answers.
Sango entered at that moment. Brown met midnight, and both girls smiled at each other. Kagome's heart was filled with happiness for her friend, whose eyes shone with a light that she had never seen before. Once dull, soft and sad brown eyes that resembled a hurt fawn's before its slaughter now shone as if lit from within. Kagome knew that Miroku had succeeded where she had so often failed. How many times had she given her friend comfort, but it was no more than a band-aid for the wounds that lay upon Sango's heart. Miroku had found the cure.
Kagome reached out and gave her friend's hand a gentle squeeze. "I better go find Inuyasha." With that said she left the hut. Maybe she should have seen Inuyasha last night, maybe gone after him… but she knew better. All this time with him had taught her one thing and that was when to leave him to himself. He wouldn't have listened last night, and she didn't have anything that she could tell him. Last night she didn't know for sure, but now she did, the Kokoikomi would save Kikyo. He'd have what he wanted. He could still be with Kikyo without going to hell. That thought gave her mind some ease as she walked along.
Inuyasha had spent another long sleepless night perched in the same tree that he had occupied for the past week. Kagome's return hadn't brought him any rest as it normally did. Silently he watched as the sun rose. He knew Kagome would have told them by now. Inuyasha did not want to look into their faces, to see the looks in their eyes. Scared he might change his resolve. Last night he had made a decision, he would leave the group.
As he watched the sunrise he had sat there in indecision. Leaving them meant breaking his word. In the moonlight all his reasoning had made sense, but now in the light of day it seemed ill-conceived and cowardly. Inuyasha was torn, he had already planned to be gone from here, and yet here he sat. Leaving without a word suddenly was no longer the noble thing to do. He saw it for what it was, cowardly.
Kagome had been right; he was too scared to face his feelings. It wasn't just the feelings he felt for his brother he didn't want to face, it was the feelings he had felt for all of them Kagome, Sango, Shippo and even Miroku. They ran deeper than he wanted to admit. Somehow amongst all this chaos and anger, a bond had formed between all of them. At its core were their mutual feelings for Kagome, initially they had all stayed for her. But over the course of the past week, he had realized something else; they had become sort of a family. Strange as it may seem they had and he found it hard to imagine being without any one of them.
The morning breeze carried the scent of milk and honey, Kagome's scent. She was heading towards him. Mind made up he jumped from the tree determined to be out of reach of any of them. With a single leap he was on his way.
Suddenly in mid air he felt the strong grip of his brother's hands on his arms, his momentum stopped and he was brought against his will down to earth. He wrenched his arms from his brother's grasp and glared at the interfering taiyoukai. How dare he stop him? How dare he interfere? He had no right after all this time, this was none of his affair. It didn't matter if the Vendetta was lifted or not, nothing between them had changed.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Inuyasha growled. "How dare you lay your filthy hands on me?"
Amber clashed with amber.
Sesshomaru regarded his brother with sheer exasperation. Inuyasha's foolishness knew no bounds. He had spent the remainder of the evening watching his brother sit in the tree, wondering what was going through the hanyou's head, feeling guilty over the part he had played in all of this, and knowing that to show himself would not help his brother. Then Kagome's scent was on the wind, and the idiot ran off. Something in Sesshomaru's gut told him that his brother was running, and the taiyoukai knew he must not allow that to happen. If this were to succeed they would all need to stick together.
"What were you running from brother? Are you that eager to face your death?"
Inuyasha bristled at his brother's tone. He didn't have to answer him. He owed Sesshomaru nothing. "Like it matters to you, look if you want to play hero in front of Kagome, that's one thing, but you can drop the act it's just the two of us." Inuyasha snarled as he clenched his fingers into a fist at an attempt to keep control of his anger.
"You mean to leave the quest now. This surprises me. Over the years I have believed many things about you. But I don't recall ever thinking you a coward. You flee because you can not face them, like you fled last night and left it to Kagome to tell everyone what you intend to do." Sesshomaru stated coldly. He stopped himself before he launched into a full fledged lecture that he knew ultimately would be a waste of time and energy. Inuyasha wasn't going to listen to anything he had to say.
"Coward! Is that what you think I am?" Inuyasha asked his anger growing, forgetting his own brief misgivings about leaving. Now leaving appealed more to him it was far better than dealing with these feelings his brother evoked. "I may be a lot of things but I sure as hell aint no coward. I already told you last night, Kagome won't have to worry about fighting Naraku. I gave my word on that last night. Honor, duty… you know the things that you supposedly live by. Well I have my own promises to keep. "
"So you still intend on going to hell with your miko." Sesshomaru stated his voice and face still emotionless, expressionless as he regarded the defiant hanyou before him.
"I already told you to drop the act. I don't buy it. I thought you'd be dancing with glee when you found out. You're going to get what you wanted all along…me dead."
Sesshomaru remained silent. Something glittered in his golden eyes though Inuyasha could not even begin to know what. Inwardly Sesshomaru cursed himself for all the past years he had wasted keeping up the farce. His soul weighed heavy within him, but he could not let that show. It was not the time for sentiment or the baring of the truth, Inuyasha still did not accept what was before his eyes. But he could not let his brother go. It would mean his death. "You intend to fight Naraku single handedly." Sesshomaru stated after a moments silence.
"I thought you'd be a little quicker than that. But I guess big ego doesn't always mean big brain." Inuyasha replied nastily.
Sesshomaru ignored the barb as he continued on. "You have faced him before, and he has eluded you even then when you had the aide of your comrades. Yet you intend to face him now when his powers have increased without their aide. Once again emotions cloud your judgment brother. You may be hanyou, but within your veins flows the legacy of the Inu Youkai. I expected better. You spoke of honor and duty…yet you are willing to shirk that and meet a death conceived in a moment of foolish recklessness. Do not rush out to greet your death needlessly, with these humans you have found strength. I have seen it. They have helped you become stronger, and together you are a formidable opponent for Naraku and his minions. To face them alone now would be suicide. How will you keep your promise to protect Kagome if you are dead."
"Naraku's not strong enough to kill me. But Kagome's been through too much already. You may be willing to sacrifice her life…."
Inuyasha had struck a nerve because amber eyes glittered dangerously as the taiyoukai interrupted his voice for once betrayed his emotion…anger. "I do not train her just to lead her to her death. I have no intention of sacrificing the miko. No harm will come to her as long as I am by her side."
"And how long will that be? How long until you turn your back on her?" Inuyasha snapped. He couldn't help himself; the words had tumbled out before he could stop them and he cursed his own weakness.
Golden eyes regarded his younger brother then, as a wave of guilt assaulted him, his anger evaporating at the sound of the pain held in his brother's voice. He could hear Kagome's words…and he knew they were true, he had taught Inuyasha distrust as surely as he had taught the hanyou to use his powers. As always Inuyasha had been an apt pupil. The truth, would his brother accept it? Still, even now, after speaking with Kagome, nothing got through to him. Too much had happened and it could not be undone. Inuyasha still did not accept the truth of it, even when it stared him in the face. What else could he do?
"Show him like you always have, again and again until he can not help but accept it…" he could hear Kagome's earnest voice within his head urging him on.
"I will be at her side as long as she wants me to be." Sesshomaru answered his voice now devoid of the anger that had flared at his brother's accusation. Golden eyes rested on Inuyasha's face. Inuyasha had given him an opening and he would press it.
When Sesshomaru spoke again, his voice was the voice that lived in Inuyasha's long buried almost forgotten memories when the taiyoukai before him held the title beloved elder brother. The voice that had asked him how he felt about his mother's death, the voice that had welcomed him to their castle, the voice he heard almost every night of his childhood before he closed his eyes. It was the voice that always made him feel safe. "But this isn't about Kagome is it brother? We both know that there is something more than this that holds you back. Only you can get past this. I've done all I can, the rest is up to you."
Inuyasha clenched his fingers into a fist once more. His eyes never left his brother's. His thoughts raced, his emotions jockeyed for position. Words escaped him; he could not yet admit the truth… not even to himself. The small voice within him cried out, begging for him to answer, but he could not. He didn't want to hear what his brother had to say. It was too soon, he couldn't face the truth. He was a coward.
A soft breeze blew then, and on it carried that familiar scent of milk and honey stronger than before. He looked past the taiyoukai that blocked his path and saw Kagome coming towards them. As if she had known, Kagome arrived at the moment he needed her the most. He may not be able to trust himself, but he could trust her.
Kagome stopped in her tracks as she saw the two brothers. For a brief moment she felt a sense of déjà vu. She stopped her inward sigh as she realized the events of the previous morning were not replaying themselves before her eyes. The way they stood, the air was devoid with the burning bitterness that had so engulfed her yesterday. She picked up the vulnerability and hope that was intermingled in the air and turned to move away. They needed to be alone and sort this out.
Inuyasha saw her turn and his heart sank. She was leaving him to face this on his own. He looked at his brother, and then back at Kagome. Before Sesshomaru could move to stop him Inuyasha had taken off after Kagome.
Sesshomaru watched them go. Inuyasha wasn't ready to hear what he had to say… not yet. He shook his head and followed where the two had disappeared. The day had only begun and some tentative progress had been made.
Revised/Edited/Reposted 1/25/05
Author's Note: I am continuing to revise, edit and repost chapters as errors are brought to my attention. Special thanks to theBigW for all his edits, his help has been immeasurable and very much appreciated. As always thanks for reading. Feel free to leave a review either by pressing the button below or sending an email.
