A/N: To my anonymous reviewer nancy/indy: Thank you for keeping up with my fics and for your great reviews.
Several months had passed since and Meredith as of yet had not contacted Derek. Being absent from his life for such a long period had given her the time to clear her head. She was thankful for Christina and Burke being at her side for those long agonizing hours of hard labor.
Meredith was blessed with a bouncing baby boy, Jesse, which meant God's gift, who weighed in at nine pounds with drop dead gorgeous eyes as his father's. She thought it was time for Derek to meet his son. Christina had agreed to help out with the arrangements and bring them back to Seattle.
Addison was not a fool. And the time had come for them to have a serious discussion regarding her future with her husband. Derek had avoided her each time she approached him on having a heart-to-heart talk.
She waited for him as he drove up. He looked tired but, she couldn't wait any longer. Addison opened the car door for him.
"Derek, we really do need to talk. This can't wait any longer."
"I just got home." He shook his head as he entered the trailer. Suddenly, he turned. "What the hell is this?"
"Well, Derek, as you can see, it's called luggage. You know, that thing you pack your clothes in, toiletries and what nots, when it's time to leave." She answered sarcastically. He stared at her speechless.
"Let me tell you what I see in your heart. I see a man who does not know what he wants. I see a man who's not living, but, merely just existing. I can't go on like this anymore. So, Derek, I'm leaving you."
"Addison, I do love you. Don't you have the slightest feelings for me? How can you just walk out? Have you forgotten the passion when we're together?"
"Yes, Derek, we are great in bed. But, after a night of lovemaking, there isn't anything else we have in common in this marriage."
"You're asking me for a divorce?"
She nodded and ran her hands through her long red hair.
"Why? We can work things out, Addi."
"You haven't called me that in such a long time. Addison seemed so formal."
"I'm asking again, why?" He demanded.
"Why? Simply, Derek, I don't love you. And I don't want to be just a sure thing for you, someone you come home to, just because you're not with her. I'm just someone you make love to, a warm body to keep you warm. Let me ask you this? Is it her you think of while making love to me? There was a time I thought I could never live without you. But, not anymore.
"Addison, I love you,"
"Stop it, Derek, just stop the crap. Don't say it unless it's forever! I can't say it. Because I don't. I don't love you. Just go. Just go to the one who loves you. Because, it's not me."
"Fine!" He hollered. "Get lost, Addison! Who's begging you to stay? Not me."
She spoke calmly and softly. "I was fooling myself. I know it was my fault when I turned to someone else. I regret doing it. I regret hurting you. But, I can't live like this. I believe somehow in your heart you do want to make this marriage work out, but, I can't. It's too late. I want someone who'll love me fully and not only half of a heart, where as the other half is another woman."
"Addison," his voice cracked. He tried to hold back his tears, but, unsuccessfully, one slid out and ran down his check.
"Derek, please, I can't do this anymore. I can't. Besides, like I said, I don't love you anymore. I thought I did, but you're not the same person I fell in love with many years ago. We've both changed, older, not necessarily wiser. So, before I get any older, I need you out of my life. I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life, I need someone to love me fully. And I gather, you're not the one. Go to Meredith, I do know she loves you. At least, that's what I assumed when she left town. And I know you love her."
Addison left that night. Her superiors at the hospital accepted her resignation a week earlier. She looked out of the window of the plane, gently she touched the glass and slowly wiggled her fingers as if to say goodbye to Seattle for one last time.
Derek laid in bed and stared at the celling. After a few minutes of blinkless stares to nothing in particular, he turned and habitually reached out for Addison.
As a new day arrived, Christina carried her godson into the living room of the house she shared with Burke. Meredith was in the guest room as she unpacked. A decision was made to stay with them temporarily instead of moving back into her house. She hadn't decided when she'd tell Derek the news of being a father of a bouncing baby boy.
TBC - Chapter 7
