AN: Hello, everyone! Did you miss me? I certainly missed me. And by that I mean that I missed my normal life, which was disrupted, and thus my "brief" hiatus for all of my stories. But, I'm back now, and that's what matters!
This chapter is one I've been wanting to write for a while, as I can finally get to the promised Yukino content, as well as some other fun stuff.
And, before we start with the chapter, I've also recently launched a Ko-fi account! Said account will be primarily used to post updates for you guys regarding my writing progress, but there's also donation functionality. I won't ask for anything, though, and tipping is completely optional. Links to my Ko-fi and other socials can be found through my profile.
Now, with the self-promo out of the way, let's get back into the story!
Chapter 13 – One Step Ahead
Ah, the weekend.
In this cruel, wicked world of high expectations and corporate slavery, it is perhaps the average working man's only ray of light in their otherwise grey life. That is, of course, if your boss doesn't ask (force) you to stay overtime over the weekend because a recent project's deadline is coming up (in other words, someone has been slacking and you're paying the price) and you're desperately needed to finish it. My own parents have only been subjected to such cruelty once before, but just the dreadful prospect itself is enough to scare me away from the life of a corporate salaryman. I truly respect my parents for working so hard to ensure that myself and Komachi get to live comfortable lives, while also pitying them for being forced into this role by the cruel capitalist society we inhabit.
Of course, as a hard-working high school student, I am more than familiar with the bliss that is a free weekend after a long week – there is functionally very little difference between a student and a corporate slave, I've come to find. Both toil away seemingly endlessly for a hierarchical institution in order to keep their place in the world secured, and eventually their hard work is rewarded by either graduation or promotion. However, that victory is short-lived, as now they have even more work to worry about, either in further education or their new position. And even if graduation is the end for a student, without swift intervention, they'll soon transition into the life of a corporate slave, beginning the cycle anew.
Preventing myself from repeating the cycle is one of the many reasons as to why my true wish is to pursue a future of househusbandry. The only corporate I'll be a slave to will be my home and family! I'm sure this noble nature of mine will make my future wife proud! But, back to the topic at hand: the weekend.
For us loners, the weekend is an important time, for it is when we are least likely to be subjected to unwarranted social interaction. For this reason, we must seize the opportunity to seek solace and self-improvement in the best company possible – our own company. While the most experienced loners (such as myself) are capable of blending into their environment so well that they can be by themselves even when surrounded by other people, the true, sacred isolation that weekends can provide is far superior, as well as necessary for allowing us to recharge after all the social interaction one has to endure through daily life. For these reasons – and many more – I hold the weekend as the most sacred part of the week, and pity those students whose schools practice the six-day school week. That's yet another reason as to why Chiba is the greatest place in the world! Though, I suppose I can't really speak for any other school in the area apart from Soubu, but I have faith in Chiba. Believe in the Hachiman who believes in Chiba!
Putting the greatness of Chiba aside for now, weekends are truly the best. Nothing beats the relaxing confines of my own home. No pesky unmarried Japanese teachers punching me in the gut, or cheeky student council presidents making me perform manual labour, or annoying requests made to the club, or beautiful ice queens slinging a dictionary's worth of verbal jabs at me, or pretty blonde classmates wanting to take me somewhere as recompensation for a bit of advice. Just me, my comfortable bed, a good book, and Komachi's cooking.
Speaking of her cooking… I should probably get up and see if my darling imouto has made anything.
Leaving my monologuing behind, I sat up in my bed and stretched, before reaching for my phone and checking the time. It was a little past ten in the morning, though I had woken up already around half an hour ago – I just hadn't felt like getting up yet. Now that I had returned to reality, though, my rumbling stomach made me aware of my basic needs as a human being, so I got up from bed and did another round of stretches.Come to think of it, normally I'd probably just be waking up around this time on a weekend. Heh, at least this time I don't have anyone dragging me out to go shopping or anything… As my thoughts shifted to last weekend when Miura had taken me out with her and Ebina, I felt my face heating up all of a sudden. If Ebina hadn't been there with us, that would have basically been a date… Gah! Stop thinking like that! These newfound feelings of mine are dangerous… I shook my head as I finished stretching, pushing any thoughts of Miura away. I really need to think of something to do regarding my feelings, but not as the first thing in the morning.
Continuing with my morning routine at a leisurely pace (it was a Saturday, after all, so I was in no rush, though the possibility of breakfast made by Komachi did accelerate my actions somewhat), I put on some proper clothes and made a quick trip to the bathroom to wash my face and relieve my bladder, before heading downstairs. I passed by Kamakura in the stairwell, our family cat meowing me good morning as he made his way upstairs. I leaned down to pet him, but only got a few scratches off before the feline made a hasty escape up the stairs I had just gone down, disappearing off towards Komachi's room. Kamakura is such a tsundere… I just wish he'd show his 'dere' side more to people other than Komachi… Letting out a small sigh, I continued towards the kitchen, where I saw Komachi sitting down at the dinner table, fiddling away on her phone.
"Oh, good morning, Onii-chan!" Komachi said as she lifted her gaze when I appeared, then grinned as I walked up to her. "Had to wake up early again on a weekend for some sort of mysterious outing, hm?"
"...Nothing of the sort. Like I told you yesterday, the Service Club got dragged into helping with another joint event between our school and Kaihin. While the meeting went far better than last time, I was still a bit worn out after that, so I didn't stay up as late last night, that's all." That, and I didn't want to agonize over what to do with my feelings for Miura and Yukinoshita for the whole night, so I saw it best to postpone that somewhat, perhaps until this whole Valentine's event can be dealt with. Komachi was still looking at me as if she expected something more, but I kept my cool and shrugged nonchalantly as I continued. "Besides, what's so mysterious about me going out to the bookstore to get a new novel?" I glanced around as I finished, not seeing any signs of Komachi having cooked anything, and felt a twang of disappointment go through me.
"And a scarf." Komachi's sudden words caused me to look back at my sister, who was still looking at me with the same expression as before. "You brought a new scarf with you as well. The black and green one with a plaid pattern." Right, the scarf Miura got me… I mean, what's the big deal? It's just a scarf. I'm allowed to get new pieces of clothing, am I not?
"...And? What about it? I saw some scarves on display in a store I passed by and decided to get a new one." I replied to my sister. Komachi doesn't need to know that Miura bought it for me. It's not even a big deal, but Komachi would make it into one. "Did you make breakfast, and if so, did you leave any for me?" I changed the subject as I looked at Komachi with a raised eyebrow, while she simply narrowed her eyes at me.
"Fridge." Komachi said coolly, still keeping her suspicious eyes on me. Does she have some sort of sixth sense for knowing when I'm hiding something from her..? Considering how Miura seems to be able to read my mind, and Hiratsuka-sensei is capable of manifesting a feeling of dread in me from miles away, I'm really starting to think that all women really are espers… Ignoring my sister, I moved over to the fridge and opened it. A quick scan of its interiors revealed a plate with a few rolls of tamagoyaki, which I presumed was what Komachi had made.
"I wouldn't think buying a scarf and a book would take more than an hour or two at max, even accounting commuting. It's suspicious that you were out for so long last Sunday, and you've been avoiding the subject ever since!" Komachi accused me as I set some of the tamagoyaki rolls onto a smaller plate in order to warm them up in the microwave, while also preparing some things for toast. I should probably leave some of this for mum when she wakes up. Wouldn't want to rob her of the opportunity to eat her cute daughter's cooking!
"...Or then I simply haven't spoken about it because there's nothing to speak about. I don't see how what I do on weekends is any of your business, Komachi." I saw my sister pouting at me as I placed the tamagoyaki in the microwave and some toast in the toaster, then opened the fridge again to fetch some MAX while I waited for my breakfast. "How are doing for your entrance exam prep, by the way? They're right around the corner, aren't they? I'm pretty sure we get the day off." I questioned from my sister while opening the can, then taking a sip, once again trying to steer the conversation in another direction. Komachi kept her gaze locked onto me for a few moments, before letting out a sigh and looking down at her phone.
"Yeah, they're on the fourteenth. I'm done with the main bulk of studying for them, so I'm just reviewing things now." Komachi replied, briefly showing me her phone screen, where I could see what looked like flashcards for studying English. Wait… the fourteenth? Yes, of course, I remember now…
One of the reasons we decided that the Valentine's Day event be held the day prior was because of Soubu's entrance exams being held on the same day. I think Isshiki was going to send us some sort of info package regarding the event yesterday, but hasn't done so for some reason… Or then she's just excluded me. Well, as long as we show up at the community centre on Monday after school, things should be fine.
"Sooo… since you're getting Valentine's Day off… It's the perfect opportunity to take Yukino-san or Yui-san out on a date! Which one is the going to be the lucky girl – or unlucky, I suppose, since it's you we're talking about, Onii-chan." Komachi leaned towards me as she placed her phone on the table, a glint in the corner of her eye, and it was my turn to sigh.
"I'll be spending my day off productively in the confines of my own home, Komachi. And I think you'll find that my future wife would indeed be lucky to land someone so superbly qualified for the role of a househusband as I am. I just need to find someone rich, smart and beautiful, and I'll be set for life. We'd both win in that situation." I countered my little sister, whose expression turned deadpan for a moment, before she smirked at me.
"So, you mean Yukino-san, then? You just described her perfectly, Onii-chan. And, thinking of marriage already? Bold, I like it. Though I'm sure she wouldn't let you simply leech off her." Komachi's answer took me by momentary surprise, as the idea of me being married to Yukinoshita once again appeared in my mind. Luckily, I was saved from the incoming blush by the microwave beeping to signal that it had finished its task of reheating my food, snapping my out of my thoughts. That was close… I do not want to try to explain a reaction like that to my sister. Although, thinking about it…
...Could Komachi help me in dealing with my feelings towards the girls?
…
No, that's a bad idea. I think it would be too big of a bombshell to drop on her, especially right before her entrance exams. I'll just try to sort things out on my own first.
"...I think you should be focusing on your entrance exams rather than my… love life, Komachi." I said to my sister as I took out the plate of tamagoyaki out of the microwave, then moved to the toaster to extract the now-finished toast and place it on the plate. "Wait, but if the entrance exams are on Valentine's Day… does that mean that you won't be making any chocolates for your dear brother?!" I hastily turned to my sister in panic as I made the realization that she wouldn't have time for making any chocolates with her entrance exam prep. I want Komachi to be as prepared as she can so she can successfully get through her exams, but… My heart bleeds at the thought of not being able to taste Komachi's homemade chocolates.
"...You shouldn't rely on your little sister for pity chocolates on Valentine's, Onii-chan…" Komachi said with a sigh after a few moments of silence, and I felt her words stabbing at my heart. P-pity chocolates? K-Komachi, say it isn't so! Your words wound me… Perhaps seeing me visibly deflate, Komachi scowled briefly and rubbed her temple while muttering something along the lines of 'What am I going to do with you' before addressing me again in a cheerier tone. "Besides, this year you've actually got girls who are close with you! I'm willing to bet that Yui-san is going to make some for you, but Yukino-san might pull of a surprise as well – whichever way it goes, I'm rooting for you, Onii-chan!" Komachi said with a grin and gave me a thumbs-up, before bringing her hand back to her chest and puffing it out proudly. "Heh, I can also bet you that was worth a lot of Komachi points!" The thought of Yukinoshita giving me chocolates – and the implications behind it – caused my heartbeat to rise momentarily, but I managed to keep myself in control and suppress anything that would have betrayed my thoughts on the outside. ...The best I can get from her is obligatory chocolates, but I can't help my beating heart...
"...Well, maybe they might make me some obligatory chocolate. Though, I'm not sure if I'm exactly looking forward to Yuigahama's cooking." I moved over to the other side of the table, setting my plate down opposite of Komachi and beginning to butter up the toast.I wonder if Miura is going to make any chocolates this year..? If she were still enamoured with Hayama, I'd guess that she might want to come to the event, but I'm not so sure now."I'll be eating their chocolates next week anyway, so it doesn't really matter, but it's not the same is receiving Valentine's Chocolates from my one and only Komachi – the world's greatest little sister! A-ha, now that must have been worth a bunch of Hachiman points, right?" My sister seemed to react when I mentioned getting to eat the girls' chocolates, as she perked up with her eyes widening, and I'm sure that if we were in an Anime, her ahoge would have straightened up.
"Eh? You know you're getting chocolates from both of them? Onii-chan, what's this, what's this?!" Komachi excitedly slammed her hands on the table as she stood up, startling me while staring at me with gleaming eyes. Ah… she misunderstood me…
"The… Valentine's Day event. I told you about it on Friday, right? Remember?" Komachi lifted an eyebrow in question, then made a little 'oh' sound, before nodding and sitting back down. "We decided in the meeting on Friday that we'd hold it on Monday, and the Service Club will be there to help out. I'll be taste-testing for the girls." Komachi seemed to ponder on my words for a moment, then deflated slightly as she leaned on the table.
"Haah… and here I thought my dense Onii-chan might have finally made some progress…" Komachi rubbed her temple, then pointed her index finger at me as I was finishing with setting up my breakfast, moving to grab a fork as she spoke again. "Do you even have the slightest hint as to why you exactly are 'taste-testing' for Yukino-san and Yui-san?" I sat back down, my sister's gaze never leaving me as she waited for my answer. ...It's obvious what she's alluding to, but… There's nothing like that going on. I still don't know what exactly Yukinoshita considers me as – though she has shown me that she does at least care about me – but it would be… far too convenient if there was anything going on.
"...Because the Service Club as a whole is helping with the event but I can't cook sweets?" I asked in return, and Komachi looked like she was about to sigh, but held it back. "Besides, it's not like I'll be the only one doing that. Guys from both schools are allowed and expected to come to the event as well, where they'll be doing the same thing." It's actually quite an ingenious setup.
Girls who are not bold enough or lack the confidence in their cooking abilities can use it as a chance to covertly give chocolates to boys, under the pretense of preparing for the real thing the next day, while the boys will be guaranteed to get to eat some chocolate on Valentine's Day – or at least the day before it. At least, that's the implication behind Isshiki's words when we spoke about how people could get involved in the event on Friday. Tamanawa was excited, of course, but I don't know if he noticed that – or then he did, and is himself looking forward to taste-testing the chocolates of a girl he likes.
"So, how many other guys will there be, then?" Komachi asked, her voice sounding a little bored now. Hopefully she gives up trying to look for meaning behind this stuff just so she can meddle with me…
"We don't know yet. We have limited space and resources, so probably not too many. We'll have to see how much interest there is when we start advertising this on Monday." I replied to my sister and stuck one of the tamagoyaki rolls into my mouth, taking a moment to savour Komachi's cooking. Such a simple dish, but knowing it was made with love by my dear sister fills me with joy! No, I'm not a siscon, in case there was any confusion. Komachi is just too cute! My little sister is the greatest in the world! Said little sister raised an eyebrow in confusion on the other side of the table as she scrutinized my expression, and I quickly swallowed the food in my mouth, washing it down with some MAX. "So, uh, yeah, I won't be the only person taste-tasting there. I don't think I'd be able to down that much chocolate if I was…" ...And I doubt any girls apart from Yukinoshita or Yuigahama would event want me to eat their chocolates. "In any case, you shouldn't trouble yourself with this event stuff, Komachi. Your exams are very important, and I want you to do me proud." Komachi groaned in response to my words, but obediently returned to flipping through the flashcards on her phone. I have faith in Komachi, but I know Soubu's entrance exams are a bit difficult… Best I can do to help is to make sure I don't trouble her in any way, so she can prepare in peace.
"...Heh, you're starting to sound like your father, Hachiman…" A sudden, but familiar voice came from behind me, and I turned around to see our mother making her way to the kitchen, yawning as she walked up to us. Tailing after her was Kamakura, who meowed once he spotted Komachi and begun to make his way over to her. "Good morning, kids."
"Oh! Good morning, Okaa-san!"
"Morning."
The two of us greeted our mother in our own, distinctive ways, and she nodded to us before making her way to the coffee machine. She fiddled around with it for a few moments, then sighed, before moving to the fridge and opening it for a peek inside. It wasn't exactly rare for us to see each other – we were family, after all – but our parents' jobs kept them busy during the weekdays, and even on weekends they tended to sleep in late. Seeing her up this early is somewhat rare.
"...Hachiman, dear?" My mother turned to me, and I saw that she had picked up one of my cans of MAX from the fridge, holding it up so I could see it. "Can I take one of your drinks? I need some caffeine in me right this moment, but I think I'll fall back asleep before the coffee finishes brewing." She requested from me, and I nodded to her in response. I'm sure at least one of those cans has been bought with money that has directly or indirectly come from her hard work, so she's entitled to at least that much.
"You're up quite early today. Is dad still asleep?" I asked as my mother opened the can of MAX and took a long sip from it, letting out a satisfied hum as she lowered it from her lips.
"Out like a light, and for understandable reasons. Boss dumped some extra work on him last-minute, so he had to stay up slightly overtime. At least he got paid for it, but he fell asleep almost immediately after coming back home yesterday." My mother replied with a slight chuckle, then took another sip and gestured towards Kamakura, currently rubbing up against Komachi's leg. "I was woken up by this furry little terrorist scratching at the door, then I heard your voices downstairs so I decided I might as well make use of waking up before noon on a Saturday for once." I gave my mother a nod in response and returned my attention to my breakfast. "What about you, Hachiman? Waking up early for another date like you did last weekend?" In the corner of my eye, I could spot a slight grin on my mother's face, and I suppressed a sigh as I took a bite out of my toast.
"...I was a bit worn out yesterday, so I went to bed earlier, that's all. And there was no 'date' involved last weekend. I went out on my own to visit the bookstore and stretch my legs a little, that's all." I replied, cutting off the topic immediately. It's enough that Komachi meddles in comings and goings, I don't need our mother on my tail as well…
"Oh? Then who were those two girls I saw you going around that shopping centre with?"
As soon as the words left my mother's mouth, it felt like everything around us froze, as if someone had activated The World. I managed to slowly turn my head to look at my mother, who raised an eyebrow at me in confusion. Okaa-san… saw us that day..? I swallowed and shifted my gaze to Komachi, who was looking at me wide-eyed in surprise, before her brows furrowed and expression shifted to annoyance, only to be replaced by a grin a moment later. Oh… no...
"...Onii-chan…" Komachi looked down and seemed to begin shaking slightly, before she suddenly looked back up and met my gaze, her eyes now burning with excitement, and I wondered if she was going to leap up from her chair. "Why did you keep this a secret?! My big bro going on a date – with two girls! They were Yui-san and Yukino-san, right? Tell me more!" I flinched back at Komachi's words, which managed to get me out of my stupor, and I lifted up a hand to keep Komachi away as she leaned over the table.
"Wait! Hold on! Calm down, Komachi." I turned from my sister to our mother, hoping to salvage the situation somewhat. "When… did you… see this? It… couldn't have just been someone who looked like me?" My mother tilted her head at me, then furrowed her brows.
"Are you saying I wouldn't recognize my own children, Hachiman?" I flinched slightly as our mother let a little bit of her 'matriarch of the household' aura leak, before she sighed and relaxed. "It was last Sunday. A friend from my high school days who I hadn't seen in well over a decade contacted me and wanted to meet me again, so I went out with her for the day. When we met up at the shopping centre, I caught a glimpse of you being dragged around by two girls. And I know it was you because of that-" My mother pointed at my hair, undoubtedly meaning the distinctive ahoge that both me and Komachi had – our unruly hair was a trait we probably got from our dad. "-as well as that unmistakable expression of yours. Though, I did have to do a double-take initially, as you were definitely smiling when I saw you."
I felt my cheeks heating up slightly at my mother's words, and had to look away from her, catching a glimpse of the smirk on her face and the wide smile on Komachi's face before I closed my eyes. Gah, this is so embarrassing! I can't believe Okaa-san of all people saw us… I knew going to the shopping centre was going to be a bad idea…
"So, which one is your girlfriend, then? The blonde one was dragging you around by the arm, and you didn't look like you were resisting much, but the quiet one with the glasses seemed more like someone your type. Unless you're into the girl taking the lead, hm?" My mother continued, and I felt my heartbeat rising as my recently-discovered feelings for Miura caused my imagination to go wild for a moment upon hearing the word 'girlfriend' in this context, and had to clear my throat to get my thoughts in order before responding.
"Neither of them, Okaa-san. They're… just classmates." I replied in the most neutral tone I could muster at that moment. ...At least I'm not lying to her about anything. She's still probably not going to let this slide that easily… However, the more pressing matter is… I turned from my mother to Komachi, who had narrowed her eyes at me.
"...Blonde hair? Glasses?Who... exactly did you go out on a date with last Sunday, Onii-chan?" Komachi questioned me suspiciously, and I felt myself involuntarily swallowing, as if I was dreading being found out for having done something bad. K-Komachi-chan, you're scaring your brother..!
"I-I didn't go out on a date with anyone! It was… a request. They're just classmates, and I was helping them with a request on my own, but now the whole Service Club is on it." I held up my hands defensively as I explained things to Komachi – still technically telling the truth – but she was still eyeing me suspiciously.
"Blonde hair… blonde hair… I don't know any of your female acquaintances who have blonde hair… Or that wear glasses, for that matter…" Komachi closed her eyes for a few seconds, her brows knitting together as she tried to think, until finally her eyes shot open again and she pointed at me excitedly. "Oh! I remember now! Those two girls who I met at the summer camp in Chiba Village last year! One of them was blonde, and the other one had glasses, right? They were your classmates, I remember!" Letting out a sigh, I gave my sister a nod, her excitement seemingly only growing. "So you went on a date with those two last weekend, huh… I see, I see… I still feel like rooting for Yukino-senpai or Yui-senpai, but if Onii-chan has managed to broaden his possibilities, that is good too…" Komachi began muttering to herself, and I had to suppress another sigh, turning my attention to our mother instead, who was looking at me with a mysterious smile.
"...I was under the impression that the only friends you had were from that… club of yours, Hachiman. At least, that is what I have heard from Komachi. Why don't you tell Komachi and me a little more about these girls?" Our mother took a sip of her drink, then sat down next to me, her eyes fixated on me and shining with eagerness. ...Looks like I can't get out of this now.
"...There isn't much to tell. They're just my classmates. Miura Yumiko is the blonde and Ebina Hina is the one with the glasses. Miura made a request not too long ago, so I've been helping her with it. Last Sunday was a part of that – it wasn't a date of any kind, they asked me to meet them for help regarding Miura's request, that's all." I explained, then began to eat my food again lest it got cold. None of that is a lie. Despite the cruel twist of fate that has made me develop feelings towards Miura, the two of them are still just my classmates… Well, I suppose that doesn't quite apply with Miura, though, as we are definitely… closer than that… Ugh, hearing it from Miura's mouth and admitting it to myself like this are two completely different things… But I can't exactly deny it any more.
I do care about her, after all. Just like I care about the girls in the Service Club.
"Hmm… I know you aren't telling us everything, Hachiman. I know you like to keep your distance with people, so going out with somebody like that on a weekend must mean they're more important to you than simply being 'classmates'." Unfortunately, my mother didn't seem to buy my explanation, and waited for me to continue as I chewed. Glancing at the other side of the table, Komachi was now also eagerly looking in my direction, the gazes of my two female family members making me uncomfortable. Can you stop staring at me while I'm eating? Just let me finish this, at least…
"...It feels awkward to eat when you two are staring at me like that…" I said with a sigh after swallowing, then taking a quick sip of MAX before continuing. "...You aren't going to let this go, huh? Well… I guess me and Miura have gotten to know each other better during these last two weeks or so. But that's it. Nothing that you're imagining or insinuating is going on. Now, can I eat my breakfast in peace?" I narrowed my eyes as I looked between my mother and sister, trying to convey that we were done speaking about this topic. My sister looked like she was about to retort, when her phone on the table started to suddenly buzz, surprising the three of us.
"Ah! Wait a sec… You aren't out of this yet, Onii-chan! If you're finally taking the initiative and befriending girls… Well, I need to look out for my future sister-in-law~!" Komachi gave me a wink, which I replied to with a roll of my eyes, then continued to eat as I watched Komachi pick up her phone, our mother watching the exchange with a small smile on her face.As my sister saw the caller ID, her eyes widened momentarily, before she smiled broadly as she answered it. That smile… Who in the world could be calling her for her to make such a face? "Good morning, Yukino-senpai! What're you calling me this early for?" My unvoiced question was answered immediately, and I froze for a moment. Yukinoshita? Is she… calling her about another study session..?
"That's… one of the girls in your club, right? Yukinoshita-chan? The black-haired beauty who helped Komachi study last weekend?" My mother asked from me with a lowered voice as Komachi listened to Yukinoshita on the phone, making small oh's and ah's here and there in response to the things she must have been saying.
"The very same. Yukinoshita is the president of the Service Club." I kept my reply short, guessing that my mother and Yukinoshita were at least somewhat acquainted already, even if their meeting last weekend was brief. The thought that my mother and Yukinoshita know each other is… a little weird. Or is that just my mind associating it with the 'meeting the parents' trope..?
My mother's gaze lingered on me for a few moments, as if she was trying to read what was going on in my mind – something which I almost expected to be exactly the case, given the seemingly-supernatural abilities of the other women I know – but after a few seconds, she averted her eyes from me and took a sip of MAX. As I was about to return to eating my breakfast, Komachi suddenly looked me in the eyes, then held her phone out towards me.
"Yukino-senpai wants to talk to you, Onii-chan." Komachi said to me, her words making me freeze in surprise. Yukinoshita? Wants to talk with me directly over the phone? Usually she'd contact me by using Yuigahama as a proxy, and we've also got that group chat with Miura and the others going, but… this must be something important… or personal. Swallowing somewhat nervously and realizing that Komachi – and by definition, Yukinoshita – was still waiting for me to take her phone, I quickly wiped my mouth and cleared my throat, then took Komachi's phone from her and brought it to my ear.
"...Yo." I greeted into the phone, steeling my nerves as my mother and sister continued to stare at me like I was some sort of animal at a zoo. Is this… the first time we've spoken over the phone like this, I wonder..?
"...Good morning, Hikigaya-kun." Yukinoshita greeted me back, her voice unmistakable even from over the phone like this. "I suppose it is relieving in a sense to know that you are just as ineloquent through phone calls as you are in person, Hikigaya-kun." I could hear the playful tone in Yukinoshita's voice as she poked fun at me, and could imagine the smile she must have had on her face right about now. The thought almost made me smile myself, but I remembered the presence of my mother and sister at the last moment and was able to prevent it.
"Hey, there's nothing wrong with my greetings. Time is a limited commodity, and I'm being courteous enough to not only preserve my own, but also my conversation partner's time by being brief with things like this." I replied to Yukinoshita confidently while leaning back in my chair and letting my gaze wander the ceiling. "So, going with that line of thinking… What did you want to speak with me about?" I heard some brief shuffling from the other side of the line after my question, and shortly after Yukinoshita answered me in a more serious tone.
"It's about a request. I presume you remember the email service that Hiratsuka-sensei made us oversee?" I replied to Yukinoshita's question with a small sound of approval. I think we received requests from Zaimokuza more than anyone else… And I also found out that our classmates aren't as clever or as subtle with their anonymous titles as they think they are. And neither is our beloved Hiratsuka-sensei, for that matter. I reached down with my fork and idly placed another tamagoyaki roll into my mouth as I listened to Yukinoshita. "Good. You see, while we were working on the details about the Valentine's event at the community centre yesterday, a request was sent to us. I only noticed it less than an hour ago when I decided to check it just in case."
"Is that so? What's this request about, then? Seeing as you felt the need to contact me through Komachi due to it." I queried after swallowing my food.
"The request was sent from someone with the nickname 'Girl in Love', and it… seems to be somewhat related to Valentine's day." Yukinoshita paused briefly, her tone of voice changing to become softer, almost more hesitant, as she went on.
"...It's… not anything embarrassing, is it..?" I asked after Yukinoshita didn't say anything further. The email service is not for… that kind of a-advice, right? Surely not.
"Ahem, n-no, not necessarily… It seems like it's from a student at our school looking for some… dating advice, I suppose you could call it. She seems to want to ask someone out for a date on Valentine's Day, and asked our help on how she should conduct herself during it, as well as for recommendations about… date spots." Yukinoshita explained the request we had received briefly, and I internally sighed. Well, that's somewhat of a relief…
Unlike with the previous requests we had received through the wide-advice email service, this one didn't seem like one we could solve with a simple reply, nor was it as easy as before to discern who could have sent it – both the nickname and request itself were very generic, given the current atmosphere at school on the eve of Valentine's Day. That does bring up the question…
"...Why did you contact me about something like this, then? I'm… not exactly someone with a lot of experience in this kinda stuff. Why not ask Yuigahama?" I questioned from Yukinoshita. I wouldn't know how a girl is supposed to act during a date, nor about any date spots. Come to think of it, couldn't this 'Girl in Love' have just looked up popular date spots in Chiba..?
"You would be correct in that, Hikigaya-kun, but it is not because of any experience that I reached out to you instead of Yuigahama-san. First of all, I know you were quite out of it during Friday's club meeting, but you do remember what Miura-san, Ebina-san and Yuigahama-san planned to do this weekend, right?" Yukinoshita's words made me furrow my brows as I thought for a moment, before the memory returned to me. They said that they were going to meet up with the rest of their clique in secret from Hayama, since he supposedly had some family business to attend to.
"..Right, sorry, I do remember now. So, that's today, is it? Couldn't you just… do it with Yuigahama tomorrow, then?" I replied back, glancing down at my food and quickly taking a bite out of it again to chew on while Yukinoshita spoke.
"I cannot be sure whether or not Yuigahama-san will be free for this tomorrow. I know Miura-san and the others mean a lot to her, so her request to us holds a lot of value to her. I wouldn't want to deprive her of this chance." I paused in my chewing and noticed my mother and sister reacting to something – likely my expression turning more serious. That… is a solid reasoning. I hadn't even really thought about Miura's request from Yuigahama's perspective until now.
Miura isn't the only one with a lot at stake, here.
"...So, for that reason, I do not want to trouble Yuigahama-san with this request." I briefly glanced at my mother and sister, the two of them still looking at me with curiosity due to my sudden change in demeanour, but then continued eating as I focused on what Yukinoshita was telling me. "However, I do not believe that my knowledge alone is adequate enough to solve this request in the way that the client hopes to. That is why I am turning to you, Hikigaya-kun. While I have no doubts that you would normally be utterly useless in giving away dating advice to someone, there is something that only you can give in this particular situation: a boy's perspective."
"…" I stayed silent for a moment or two as my brain comprehended what Yukinoshita had just said to me. "...Come again?"
"...Unless your ears have finally rotted off, I am quite sure that you heard me the first time, Hiki-zombie-kun. But, I will repeat, for your sake. I require your assistance with this request in order to obtain a boy's perspective on things." I furrowed my brows, despite knowing Yukinoshita couldn't see my expression.
"What do you need that for?"
"Giving the requester advice on proper dating etiquette is something I can give on my own, even if it is all based on theory and not experience. However, regarding dating spot recommendations… I am at a loss. Presumably, the requester would want to take their date somewhere that they will like, but I have no knowledge of what a boy could possible desire from a date spot." Yukinoshita explained her reasoning to me, and the pieces started to click into place in my head.
"...So, in other words, you need me to give you advice on what kind of places guys like to go to for dates?" I asked from Yukinoshita, and saw my mother and sister exchanging a look, their expressions shifting slightly.
"That is correct, Hikigaya-kun. I am glad to know that your brain is still functioning normally. However, I doubt something as simple as you giving me advice or listing places within Chiba will suffice for this." There was a pause on the other side of the line, and I swallowed as an odd feeling overcame me in anticipation of Yukinoshita's next words. "Instead, I believe a more… hands-on approach is required to reach the best results. In other words…"
"...Hikigaya-kun, would you… be so kind as to go out on a date with me?"
"...Out of these, which one do you think would entice you the most?"
"Let me see…"
I leaned closer to Yukinoshita and peered at her phone screen, which currently displayed a list of potential date spots in and around Chiba that she had compiled. Ignoring the rapid quickening of my heartbeat as Yukinoshita's pleasant scent entered my nostrils, I hastily scanned over the locations and their descriptions. I suppose I should put some effort into this, since Yukinoshita has done her part… Though that does require thinking from the perspective of a normie, hmm… We already visited those places, and these other ones are a bit niche, so...the aquarium, perhaps? I feel like it's something that anyone could enjoy… Let's go with that.
"...How about the Tokyo Sea Life Park? There's many types of marine life there, so you could learn something new or interesting. It's also got a ferris wheel nearby." I replied to Yukinoshita after a few moments of pondering, and she brought a hand up to her chin in thought. At the very least, it's something I would probably enjoy – a nice, calming place to visit and learn something new at. Not that I'm a good example of the average guy and what they might like, but it's not like we know anything about what kind of person the one who made this request is going to ask out – if they're the more studious type, I'm sure they'd be inclined to like the aquarium.
"Alright, that sounds good. We'll go there next, then." Yukinoshita replied, looking up to check the train schedules, then turning her gaze back at me as she pocketed her phone. "The train that can take us to the closest station will be here shortly. This way." Nodding to Yukinoshita, I followed after her as we made our way to the platform.
We didn't have to wait for long until the train arrived – precisely on time. (I'd expect nothing less from Chiba!) Unfortunately, the train was full of people when we boarded, even taking into account the people who left at this station. Thus, unable to secure seats, we had to settle for standing close to the door, each of us grabbing onto one of the handles hanging off the ceiling of the train car. With neither Yukinoshita nor I being one for idle chatter, a silence fell upon us as the train began to move, allowing me to become absorbed in my own thoughts – specifically pondering about the bizarre situation I am finding myself in.
I, Hikigaya Hachiman, am on what a casual outside observer could only describe as a date, with the one and only Yukinoshita Yukino. Of course, I knew more about the situation than an outside observer, so I was aware that – like Yukinoshita herself had also emphasized – this was not exactly a date, but rather a simulation of one in order to gather data to fulfil the request we had received through the email service. However, given my feelings towards the girl in question…
It should be no surprise that the thought makes me feel things I'd previously only associated with normies.
I had initially questioned why Yukinoshita would go to such lengths – using hands-on methods for gathering data and even asking for my assistance – for such a small request, when before she was perfectly fine with answering any email requests in short, but the explanation she gave was sound: for future reference. Like I had initially surmised upon first hearing about the request from Yukinoshita, this type of request was perfectly expectable with Valentine's Day right around the corner, and Yukinoshita had figured that it very well may not be the last request we receive regarding the topic in the coming days. So, in preparation, it would be good to have some data to work with, which would save us time in having to do any further work if and when someone else came to us with a similar request. As someone who greatly values efficiency, it was a perfectly valid explanation, and I didn't question Yukinoshita's motives any further.
Also, perhaps a small part of me was… looking forward to spending time with Yukinoshita like this, even if it wasn't truly a date, and when I would normally look down on such normie-like customs.
It wasn't like this was our first time going somewhere together like this, as I recall multiple times in the past when Yukinoshita and I had been out together with just the two of us – such as when we were looking for a birthday present for Yuigahama last year, or the time we got separated from the rest of our group at Destinyland– but since the realization that I've had about my own feelings… things definitely feel different, this time. I knew it wasn't an actual date, but I couldn't help being nervous, or constantly being overly conscious of Yukinoshita's presence – it was maddening, in a sense, yet also felt intoxicating and made my heart flutter.
Love truly is a dangerous force. I dread to think of the destruction it could cause if it were to be somehow weaponized.
Despite my inner turmoil because of my feelings, this outing was not something I resented – if said feelings didn't make that clear already – as it gave me an excuse to get away from my family. After Komachi found out that I had been together with Miura and Ebina last weekend through my mother, I knew there was very little I could have done to escape her questioning, even with trying my hardest to deflect everything – especially since our mother was also present. Yukinoshita's call and subsequent invitation to help her research for this request was a perfect interruption – though my mother and sister were quite ecstatic about the prospect of me "going on a date" with a girl as pretty as Yukinoshita. I probably won't be able to hear the end of it when I get back, though, so getting away from Komachi like this was probably a momentary respite…
I suppressed the incoming sigh and instead took a deep breath to clear my thoughts while the train slowed to halt as it arrived at another station. Absently noting that the next stop would be the one we needed to get off on, I silently watched as people first exited the train, before more people boarded to take their place. No seats were left vacant for us, however, and I figured those who were sat down were ones who wouldn't be getting off for a while anyway – they were sat down because they had a longer journey compared to those who were standing, and not necessarily because they were here first. The doors hissing as they closed, the train began to move again, this time doing so with a sudden lurch, nearly causing me to stumble, but I managed to keep myself steady with a firm grip on the handle.
Yukinoshita, however, wasn't so lucky, as I felt her colliding into me with a 'thud', forcing her to steady herself against me by grabbing onto my sleeve.
Thu-thump
"...Sorry." Yukinoshita apologized quietly as she steadied her feet while the train started to pick up speed, now moving more smoothly again.
"It's alright." I replied and glanced down at her face, which was overcome with a slight blush of embarrassment. The sight, combined with the fact that Yukinoshita had yet to separate herself from me, caused a blush of my own to rise to my cheeks. Why is she so adorable..? I feel like Yukinoshita has seemed more cute recently… or then that's just me paying more attention to things like that due to my feelings…
No more words were exchanged between us after that, but Yukinoshita's grip on my sleeve was not loosened for the remainder of the train ride. Whether she was preparing for the ride to be bumpy or not I couldn't tell, but the part of me that felt strongly for the girl definitely was not complaining. My heightened loner senses were able to pick up that some of the others on the train were now throwing glances in our direction, and I could only imagine what kind of assumptions they were making about us, but I did my best to ignore them – only hoping that there was nobody from Soubu among the crowd who could recognize one or both of us.
After what felt like an agonizingly long amount of time, the train finally came to a stop at the next station, and we exited out, beginning our short walk towards the aquarium. As we walked in silence, I found my gaze wandering towards Tokyo bay, feeling the familiar sea breeze gently caressing us while the lights of Destinyland flickered in my peripheral to our left. Compared to the crammed train, I felt much more relaxed out here, and my relaxed state must have been apparent to Yukinoshita as well, if the sideways glance she was sending my way was any indication.
"...Something on your mind?" I asked to break the silence when our eyes met. Yukinoshita held eye contact for a moment before turning her gaze back forward and responding.
"Nothing, really. You were looking out to the sea with such a longing gaze, I thought that perhaps you were wanting to join the ranks of the various marine animals we are about to see. Though, you might just end up in an aquarium for the rest of your life instead." Yukinoshita replied, a slight smile appearing on her face as amusement twinkled in her eyes.
"It wouldn't be such a bad deal, honestly. I'd get properly taken care of, fed regularly, and I wouldn't have to worry about getting eaten by predators. If I was a fish, that sounds like perfection to me." I responded to Yukinoshita's teasing, glancing at her reaction quickly before casting my gaze towards the sea once again. "...I guess looking out onto Tokyo bay makes me feel relaxed, like I'm at home. At least more so than back there in the train, for sure." I then continued when Yukinoshita didn't speak any further, and heard her sighing, bringing my attention back to her.
"I can definitely agree with that." Yukinoshita said and brought a hand up to her face, lightly rubbing her temple. "I don't think I'll ever get used to large crowds in tight spaces."
"Well, if the birth rate here in Japan stays the same as it is now, you won't have to worry about large crowds any more. Might take a few decades, though." A light chuckle escaped from Yukinoshita's mouth, and I had to suppress a smile as it rang in my ears, lest I get called creepy.
"For the sake of all of Japan, let us hope that we won't ever reach that point, as nice as it would be in a twisted way." As Yukinoshita finished, we were about to come up to the aquarium, with a larger group of people present near the entrance. Taking in a deep breath of the cool air, Yukinoshita adjusted her scarf, then looked up at me. "Let us get this underway, shall we?" Meeting the icy blue eyes of the girl, I nodded to her, and we made our way towards the aquarium entrance.
As we joined the people entering the Tokyo Sea Life Park – primarily composed of what seemed like a group of tourists, judging by their attire and the cameras hanging around their necks – Yukinoshita reached into her handbag and took out a notebook and a ballpoint pen, ready to take notes during our visit here like she had done in the previous locations we had visited already. We started off by going to a local sports centre, then visited two cafes in different locations afterwards. Yukinoshita had picked them since she figured they seemed like good places for young people to meet up. Because of her low overall stamina, though, we only really played ping-pong, with our "best of three" resulting in my crushing defeat... Despite this being a casual outing meant to gather information for a request, it seems Yukinoshita's competitive spirit has not been extinguished.
After finally making our way inside, entering through the intended route on the top of the building's Sky Plaza,Yukinoshita and I began to look around the aquarium, admiring the various exhibits. While the primary goal of this outing was to gather information about possible date spots – which Yukinoshita was actively doing as she scribbled away in her notebook – there was no reason we shouldn't enjoy things ourselves. Thus, we aimed to take our time observing the various kinds of marine life and learning more about them.
"So, the sharks are the first exhibit, then…" Yukinoshita commented as we walked up to the large tank labelled 'Voyagers of the sea', in which we could see a number of sharks swimming about.
"...Woah, seeing one up close is a lot cooler than I had expected." I couldn't resist letting my awe be known as I brought a hand up to the glass, my eyes following a particularly large blacktip reef shark as it swam past me. It's less than a metre away from me… After a few silent moments, I became aware of a pair of eyes on me, and looked to my left to find Yukinoshita staring at me in wonder. "W-what is it?" Her unexpectedly endearing expression had caught me off-guard, though it quickly disappeared as she blinked at me.
"Oh, sorry, just… Your enthusiasm surprised me. I didn't think you'd be so excited to go an aquarium. It's quite… different from how you usually are. In a good way, of course." Yukinoshita replied to me with a small smile, and I felt my breath hitching in my throat.
"A-ah, yeah, I-I guess… I suppose I don't often have reasons to go out like this, and while a part of me would have probably preferred to stay home… this isn't so bad." I paused for a moment and swallowed, feeling my heartrate increasing as I contemplated on whether or not I should continue. "I… thanks, I guess. I-I know it was because of the request, but… t-thanks for having me with you." My cheeks burned in embarrassment, and I looked back at the shark tank, hoping that the dim, blue-tinted lighting of the aquarium was enough to hide the blush. Gah! What am I even saying? I should have kept my mouth shut…
I stole a quick glance at Yukinoshita, who was still looking at me with a stunned expression. Once our eyes met, though, she turned her head away from me, her fingers snapping the notebook in her hand shut while her other hand tightened around her pen. ...And now you've made things awkward. Great work, Hachiman! Curse these feelings of mine for making interacting with Yukinoshita so difficult…
"...You're welcome." A quiet voice brought me out of my thoughts, and I glanced back to see Yukinoshita's face still turned away from me. "I am finding this… agreeable as well." Her voice just about reached my ears, and I caught a glimpse of a small smile on her face. ...Cute. Seriously, that should be illegal. Several seconds passed with Yukinoshita still having her face turned away, so in curiosity, I leaned slightly to get a better look at her face, and saw her gaze transfixed on something to our left.
"...Yukinoshita?" Following her gaze, I could spot three people standing around a small tank with an open top, one of them wearing clothing to identify them as a staff member at the aquarium, while the other two were visitors like us, leaning over the tank. We walked past that when we came in, but we went straight for the big tank. I wonder why she's so interested… As I squinted my eyes to look at the plaque on side of the tank, my question was answered immediately. "'Catsharks'? I didn't know those were a thing." My voice seems to have snapped Yukinoshita out of her stupor, and she quickly turned to look at me again. "Curious?"
"A-ah… Perhaps, yes…" Yukinoshita admitted as she looked down, slightly embarrassed at the situation. I suppose she truly will take an interest in anything even remotely cat-related… Also, that face is way too cute. Yukinoshita is way too cute.
Taking the initiative, I began to make my way towards where the catsharks were, with Yukinoshita following shortly behind. One of the other visitors currently leaning over the tank had pulled their sleeve up and was reaching into the tank, with small oohs and aahs leaving his and his friend's mouths every time one of the small sharks touched his hand inquisitively or brushed against it as it swam past. While they were preoccupied and Yukinoshita's eyes were glued to the sharks, I shifted my gaze to the informative plaque on the side of the tank. I see, catsharks are bottom feeders, so they're harmless to humans. That's probably why this kind of interaction is possible here.
"...I am not sure why they are called 'catsharks', as they don't seem to resemble cats at all, apart from perhaps their size…" Yukinoshita muttered once the other two visitors had left, stroking her chin with her palm as her gaze still followed one of the sharks swimming around.
"Their eyes resemble those of a feline, apparently." I replied to her, then looked at the employee standing on the other side of the tank with a raised eyebrow as I rolled up my sleeve. When he silently nodded to me in approval, I gently reached down into the tank to touch the small sharks within. "...Woah, their skin feels very smooth." I commented as I carefully slid my fingers across the back of one of the sharks.
"It's like sandpaper. If you stroked it from the tail towards the head, it would feel more coarse." Yukinoshita replied, and upon testing it on the next shark, I could confirm that she was indeed correct. "The placoid scales of sharks are similar to teeth in their structure. Their shape and positioning makes sharks more hydrodynamic, as well as quieter when swimming." I looked up at Yukinoshita, but her eyes were still directed at the tank and not at the information plaque on its side like I had assumed. Sasuga Yukipedia. She could probably put the staff here at the aquarium to shame with all her knowledge.
Shortly, we moved on from the shark exhibit and went down to the first floor of the aquarium. Following the informational brochure we picked up from the information centre on the second floor, the next exhibits would be focused on the various different seas on Earth – aptly named "The Seas of the World". Slowly making our way around the exhibits as Yukinoshita took more notes, we learned about the aquatic ecosystems of the Pacific Ocean, the Indian Sea, the Atlantic Ocean and the Caribbean Sea and were introduced to a multitude of different forms of marine life that inhabited these ecosystems. Being faced with such sights, it was easy to understand why life had originated in the oceans, as even now, they were still abundant with the most intriguing and varied forms of life.
The most interesting one from my perspective, however, was the exhibit about the life of the deep sea, right at the end of the Seas of the World exhibit adjacent to the one about the oceans of the polar regions. While it was largely impossible for an aquarium to hold species of deep-sea fish due to the pressure difference between the surface and the abyssal depths, the section still provided information on deep sea species through other means, such as audio commentary accessible simply with a pair of earbuds and the press of a button. The tanks in the section displayed spotted ratfish, which, while primarily a deep-water species, can also live in shallower waters (thus its presence here), alongside stalked crinoids, also known as sea lilies. Despite their name and appearance, crinoids are animals, and we had the pleasure to see one of the ones in the tank move independently of the artificial current – though the slight curving of its feeding arms in response to organic particles being released into the tank to mimic marine snow was far from what could be considered exciting. Nonetheless, we found the Seas of the World exhibit to be satisfying.
Up next was another part of the Voyagers of the Sea exhibit, in the form of the Aqua Theatre: a circular room with seating surrounded on all sides by a massive tank. Primarily, it held a vast number of pacific bluefin tuna that migrated around the donut-shaped tank, but other species were also a part of the exhibit, such as scalloped hammerheads and ocean sunfish. To call the exhibit anything other than breathtaking would be an understatement, as the seating space provided an astonishing view of the tank surrounding it. Several groups of people were present at the theatre, with many people taking pictures or videos of the various fish swimming all around them – and I couldn't resist being a part of that, taking at least a dozen different photos of the various species inhabiting the tank. Yukinoshita and I spent a long time at the Aqua Theatre, simple mesmerized by the sights surrounding us, before eventually moving onto the outside areas of the aquarium.
The two exhibits outside the main aquarium building focused primarily on seashore wildlife, with "Life on the Shoreline" holding many shore-dwelling and shallow water species, including but not limited to starfish, sea urchins and crabs, and the Penguin Exhibit holding four different species of penguins: king penguins, Humboldt penguins, little penguins and rockhopper penguins. While the first exhibit was one we largely ignored, only passing by it casually and reading the informational plaques provided (with it being the winter, some parts of the exhibit were closed anyway, such as the touching pool), the penguin exhibit was one neither of us wanted to miss.
"Woah, there must be hundreds of penguins in that enclosure…" I commented as we walked up to the viewing platform at the penguin exhibit. Resting my hands on the guard rails and looking down, I could easily spot a group of at least two dozen Humboldt penguins swimming around just below us, while several more groups were standing around on the rocky shores at the opposite end of the enclosure.
"There does seem to be quite a few of them… And members of all four species together. I suppose there isn't much they need to compete for here." Yukinoshita said while I took out my phone to snap some pictures. I'm sure Komachi will love to see these… "...Although that does not seem to make them any less restrainedin their… vocal competing." What Yukinoshita was alluding was, quite obviously, how loud the penguin enclosure was. While the majority of the penguins were quietly minding their own business on the shoreline (Based on the appearance of their feathers, some of them must be in the process of yearly moulting...) and others were swimming about while grooming themselves, one couldn't fail to notice the cacophony of different cries and yells from some of the birds.
"...Looks like they're having some kind of intense debate." I said as I looked over to a group of penguins towards the left side of the enclosure. A larger penguin – likely a king penguin – was loudly 'yelling' at a smaller one hopping on the ground around it, making as much of a racket as the larger penguin was. All the while, several other of these smaller penguins (I'm assuming those are… rockhopper penguins, given their yellow feathers and the way they're hopping about instead of waddling like the other penguins...) were loudly yelling on the sidelines. "I think the little guy is making a compelling argument. Do you think they'd let us vote for these guys to be in the Chiba Diet?" A small chuckle escaped Yukinoshita's mouth, and I almost involuntarily smiled myself as the melodious sound reached my ears.
"They might be able to give my father a run for his money, that is for sure." Yukinoshita played along with my joke, glancing at me with a smile on her face. "It does make me wonder, Hiki-penguin-whisperer-kun, what do you think the two of them are debating about to make you side with the agitated rockhopper penguin?" I sensed a hint of teasing in her tone of voice, so I cleared my throat in preparation for our usual banter.
"Well, clearly, the argument has to do with the unfair treatment of the different penguin species. The king penguins are quite clearly in a position of power in relation to the smaller species – the clue is in the name, they are privileged right from the moment of hatching. They sit at the top of the societal ladder within this enclosure and lord over the smaller species because they believe themselves superior. The masses have quietly accepted this structure of their society, because trying to go against it would result in trouble, thus inadvertently letting themselves be separated into castes and classes and becoming complacent in the face of changing these fundamental problems rooted in their society. However, this one brave penguin has found the courage to stand up to the kings and challenged them. I hope his example sparks a revolution, and that the penguins can band together to change the twisted society they inhabit into something better for them all." I finished by dramatically bringing a hand to my chest and balling it up to a fist as I closed my eyes for a few moments, feeling proud of myself, until I suddenly remembered that we were in a public space and immediately felt a wave of embarrassment wash over me. "O-or something like that, yeah." Returning back to a neutral stance, I slouched forward while leaning on the railing and bringing up my scarf to cover my face, my eyes nervously flicking around as I attempted to activate Stealth Hikkyto blend in, until my eyes met those of Yukinoshita.
"Well, that is certainly quite the analysis, Hikigaya-kun." Yukinoshita said to me, her expression telling me of her amusement. "Though I am inclined to believe you may have projected some of your own views on our society to that of these penguins, am I correct? It would seem likely, given your history with similar biology essays." I averted my gaze from Yukinoshita, instead focusing back on the pair of penguins we were observing, seeing the smaller one hurriedly jumping away after being scared off by another king penguin who had moved up from behind the other one.Wait, how does Yukinoshita know about my past essays? Hiratsuka-sensei, you aren't betraying your student's trust by revealing confidential information to others, are you?"...Not that those views are incorrect, necessarily…" I stole a glance at Yukinoshita again, her amusement replaced by something else as she also stared off towards the penguins on the shore. "...It is definitely one way to view things, I'll admit that."
Without either of us saying anything more, we quietly watched as the rockhopper penguin made its way away from the rest of the group, until it met with another penguin, standing on a rock by itself, away from all the other penguins. The two of them seemingly greeted each other, then began to groom their feathers with their beaks. ...I suppose that just like the penguin…
...In the end, I am not brave enough to change things.
There was a clear reason as to why I hadn't yet faced my feelings for Yukinoshita. I told myself it was because I needed time to analyse things, and try to find out what Yukinoshita herself thought of me. But I knew what the true reason was, deep down. I was afraid. I've acknowledged it in the past, but not quite fully accepted it.
I was postponing dealing with my feelings because I was afraid of what that could do to the comfortable place I've found for myself. I was curious about stepping into the abyss, the endless void of the unknown, to see what could await me, but I was afraid that I'd lose everything I have now if I did so. Even after acknowledging it several times, I only kept finding excuses to postpone things, and now things have only gotten more complicated.
I no longer just have my feelings for Yukinoshita and the consequences they could have to consider, but also my feelings towards Miura. I had relied on the hope that solving Miura's request with her clique could help me preserve things as they are, even after the three of us in the club move on to become third-years, and post-graduation after that. But even if that were the case... I still don't know if I'm brave enough to try and change things.
In the end, I'm just like the penguin. Thinking I can stand up to change things, but backing off instead to live with the complacency.
I hate this feeling.
I didn't know how long I had stayed quiet, absorbed in my self-loathing thoughts as I lamented my own cowardice, but I was brought out of it suddenly when the loud voice of a child reached my ears. I returned to the present moment, seeing Yukinoshita also similarly blinking in confusion, and our eyes met briefly before we looked towards the child loudly exclaiming something about 'kissing penguins'. The young boy, perhaps around the same age as Keika, was pointing at something in the enclosure while excitedly pulling on the sleeve of a slightly blushing older girl, who looked to be about the same age as us – an older sibling, I assumed. Our gazes following where the boy was pointing, we could see two Humboldt penguins, somewhat separated from the others, touching their beaks together as they huddled close. Occasionally, they'd affectionately groom the other's feathers and make low, soft sounds at each other. Glancing down, I noticed an intriguing section of the informational plaque about Humboldt penguins complete with a photograph of two birds 'cuddling'.
Humboldt Penguin
You may have noticed the relationship of Two birds
If you look closely, there are two penguins cuddling, right? Those two are actually mates. Once two Humboldt penguins mate, they stay with the same partner until one of them dies. They show their affection by grooming their partner's body and calling out to them. We hope you enjoy observing the couple's behaviour.
Lifting my gaze again and noticing Yukinoshita's eyes were directed at the plaque as well, I returned my attention to the penguin couple in the distance. Mate for life, huh… My thoughts drifting back to what they had been mere moments ago, I felt my grip on the railing tightening.
"...Hikigaya-kun?" Yukinoshita's quiet voice surprised me, and I turned to see her looking at me with a somewhat worried expression. The sight stung at my heart. "Is… everything alright..?" She hesitantly reached out towards me, but stopped halfway through, as if unsure whether or not it was okay for her to touch me. ...I'm such an idiot. I need to stop thinking like this and letting it show. I don't want my own cowardice hurting them. Especially not Yukinoshita or Miura.
"...Sorry, I'm alright." I replied and took a deep breath to clear my head. If the old me could see me right now, he'd probably laugh at me for letting other people get so close to me that I'd be worried about losing or hurting them.
"You can… always talk to me, Hikigaya-kun." I met Yukinoshita's eyes again, but she looked away immediately, and I saw a slight redness on her cheeks. "I know there are a lot of things that… we don't know about each other, and a lot more things I'm sure that… we'd like to keep to ourselves, but…" Shyly, she met my eyes again, and I was frozen in place, my heart hammering in my chest as I anticipated her next words. "...I just want you to know that I am willing to listen, Hikigaya-kun." There was only sincerity in her tone, and even when her words were no surprise to me, I couldn't help but be momentarily stunned.
"...Thanks, Yukinoshita." I managed to say after several seconds of silence. I averted my gaze from her, and found it wandering back to the penguin couple. If… If there's even the slimmest of chances… My mind wandered back to the adviceMiss Hiratsuka had given me the day before my request for something genuine. Hiratsuka-sensei told me that right now isn't everything, that there is a 'some day' in the future… But… she also told me that there are some things that one can only do now and things that are only here.
I can't keep agonizing over these things and hope that a solution will come in time. That 'some day' Hiratsuka-sensei mentioned may not involve me, or it might already be too late at that point. Change is scary, but if I ever want to have a chance at tasting what those penguins have…
I've been postponing things long enough.
I need to start taking action and making decisions.
Still, there is an order to things. I still have time. I'll need to make sure that time is enough.
I met Yukinoshita's eyes again as I felt determination within me. I hadn't banished my fears of the unknown abyss yet, but I also knew I didn't want to live on this island only to wait for the abyss to consume me.
"Yukinoshita." My voice seemed to surprise the girl, but she didn't say anything so I continued. "I'm… sorry for worrying you. You are right, there are a lot of things that we'd perhaps not want to divulge to others. However… I want to at least try." I felt my heart hammering in my chest as I spoke, the blood pumping in my veins making my head throb and drowning out even the sounds of the penguins while I watched Yukinoshita's eyes widening slightly. "But, not right now. We need to focus on this request. Then we have to make sure the Valentine's event goes smoothly. There's… a lot, but… If you're willing to listen…" I hesitated for a moment, beginning to feel somewhat embarrassed, but continued on. "...Then I might be willing to try talking." Yukinoshita stared at me for a few moments, then smiled as she nodded at me. I am hoping Miura will be able to either directly or indirectly help me in this through her request, but… Yukinoshita is also directly involved, so perhaps she… can help too. I'm certain that she must feel at least some of the same things I'm feeling – I know she also values the club, after all.
"Whenever you are ready, Hikigaya-kun." Yukinoshita's reply was short, and I couldn't help but draw a connection between it and what Miura had said to me just a couple of days ago. I suppose there has to be some similarities between them, if they've both managed to get a grip on my heart… I don't particularly like the idea of relying on others, but… when they're being so sincere with me… With Yukinoshita still seemingly waiting for an answer, I smiled to her and nodded, clearing my thoughts for now. "Alright. Shall we continue on, then?" Nodding again, I watched as Yukinoshita turned and started to move away from the railing separating us from the penguin enclosure.
Giving one last look towards the penguins, I found the Humboldt couple amongst them, letting my gaze linger on them for a moment. Smiling to myself, I took out my phone, zoomed in and took a photo of the pair, before following after Yukinoshita.
The two of us left the penguin enclosure behind and moved back inside the aquarium itself. The next exhibit ahead of us was the Kelp Forest, which had its primary focus on giant kelp, but which also showcased various other marine life that inhabited kelp forests. However, I was not able to fully focus on the exhibit, or on taking my notes for the supposed "client" of this request, for my thoughts were occupied by something else.
Everything is going exactly as I planned. Perhaps even better.
I had not expected Hachi to agree to come on this outing with me so easily – though I am glad to know he did – and I knew it would have been impossible to get him to agree without a good enough reason. However, with both Yuigahama and Miura occupied with matters regarding their clique, I knew I had to act quickly. With Monday taken up by the joint event between Soubu and Kaihin, and Valentine's Day coming up right after, this was my only chance to lay the groundwork I needed on those two days to be able to firmly set myself above the others who had their eyes on my Hachi and make it clear that he was meant to be with me. Thankfully, my question of how to find a suitable reason to get Hachi away from his home on a weekend (something which I understood he valued greatly) and to spend time with me alone was answered by the Chiba wide-advice email service.
Asking for Hachi's help on a request was the perfect excuse to go on an outing together with him. I could have gone to his house again on the pretext of helping his sister study for her upcoming entrance exams, but even with Komachi's… enthusiasm towards helping her brother in romantic affairs, it would have been difficult to find sufficient alone time with him to achieve what I wanted to do. Convincing Hachi to come on this outing with me had been the right choice, as it not only allowed me to spend some quality time together with him (though I'm certain both of us would have preferred something more relaxing, such as reading together at a quiet cafe, but in this case things had to go differently) but also gave me the opportunity to achieve my primary goals: getting closer to Hachi to let him comfortably show me his scars, so I could help him. I did not believe the two of us would end up together – like we are fated to – after just a single outing, but this was an important first step, and would allow me to get ahead of Miura.
And, with what just happened at the penguin exhibit, I had succeeded in getting ahead of her.
I do not know what exactly had caused it – whether it was his "analysis" of the life of the penguins and how it reflected his views on the world that had hurt him, or something else – but something then and there had made Hachi… vulnerable. He isn't one to let his thoughts or emotions show easily, but as we quietly observed the penguins, I could tell something was going on in his mind, as his eyes reflected something causing him pain. At that moment, I had momentarily forgotten everything about why I had brought him here in the first place, as genuine concern and empathy for Hachi overflowed within me – and letting that concern show seemed to have been the correct choice. Hachi was willing to open up to me.
It had only just happened, but even remembering his words and knowing what him saying them to me meant made me so happy I had to restrain my own smile.
I didn't want to push Hachi into anything he wasn't comfortable with, but I was determined to at least get him to open up a little today. Because the other goal I had in mind for today relied on him doing at least that much:
Me opening up to him in return.
We both had ideas about each other's pasts and circumstances, but other than what little we had told each other or were able to glean from other sources, there wasn't much either of us truly knew. So…
If I can make Hachi show his scars to me…
...I need to be able to muster up the courage to show mine to him as well. Only that way can be help each other, like we are meant to. Only that way… can we save each other.
Pushing aside my thoughts for now – Hachi himself said we should focus on the things in front of us right now, and everything else can come after – I redirected my attentions back to the exhibits as we moved on from the Kelp Forest to the next one – The Sea of Tokyo. The first exhibits focused on the Ogasawara and Izu islands, which are considered a part of the Tokyo Prefecture, with the Tokyo Bay area being exhibited further along. Before we could immerse ourselves in the exhibit, however, a small commotion of sorts caught our attention in the otherwise quiet aquarium.
"O-Ojou-sama! You shouldn't run inside the aquarium."
"It's fiiiine, Subaru. I know how to be mindful of my surroundings. Jirou-kun is the one you should be worried about~!"
Rapid footsteps accompanied the voices, and I was in the midst of turning around to see what was going on when something – or more precisely someone – collided with me, causing me to stumble and drop my notebook on the floor.
"Oh, goodness gracious! Just as I said it. You should be more careful, Jirou-kun." Now having a clear view of everything, I could spot three distinct figures that had appeared at the scene.
The one who had collided with me was a tall-ish, blue-haired boy about the same age as us wearing half-rim glasses that brought out his aquamarine-coloured eyes distinctly. With one of his hands, he was rubbing his shoulder – the spot where he had impacted with me – while the other was stretched out, his fingers interlaced with those of a girl.
"...This wouldn't have happened at all if you hadn't suddenly started running while dragging me along, Kanade…" The boy grumbled, then turned towards me with an apologetic expression, before suddenly freezing, his free hand instantly – almost instinctively, was the impression I got – shot up to his face as he held onto his nose. "A-ah, sorry, I didn't mean to bump into you." He then very quickly apologized, bringing his hand down again and looking down at the floor where my notebook had fallen. "Was this yours? Sorry again, I'll pick it up for you."
"Ah, yes…" I managed to say, still somewhat stunned at the sudden events, while the boy knelt down to pick up my notebook. As he did so, I got a better look at the girl he was with, and I felt a tinge of recognition go through me as her red eyes met mine.
Her hair, sleek and black like mine, flowed mostly freely as it cascaded far down her back, with some of it bunched into two long side-tails, tied with white ribbons. Her facial features were beautiful and well-defined, and her expensive-looking clothing spoke of her potentially higher status among the rest of the people here. I didn't have to rack my brain for long before I knew who she was: Suzutsuki Kanade, the sole daughter of the wealthy and influential Suzutsuki family. I have been lucky enough to avoid most of the events my family has had to attend, but.. I do remember seeing her at them before. And she most definitely knows who I am as well. For a moment, my eyes diverted from hers as I looked towards Hachi, who was quietly observing the scene unfolding before him.
"Here you go." The blue-haired boy's voice caused me to turn my attention back to him, seeing the boy holding my notebook towards me, which I proceeded to take with a quiet 'Thanks'. "Sorry about this, Kanade just really likes to mess with me, but it usually doesn't involve other people…" The boy – who I assumed was the 'Jirou-kun' that had been mentioned by Suzutsuki Kanade – apologized again as he rubbed the back of his neck, all the while the third figure approached us as well.
"It is quite alright, no harm was done." I replied, and he sighed in relief before turning towards the new arrival – a stoic-looking but soft-faced, shorter boy with light orange hair tied up in a ponytail and wearing a butler's outfit. ...And if she is Suzutsuki Kanade, then this must be her butler, Konoe Subaru. I've seen him accompany her before.
"I apologize on behalf of my mistress as well, Miss." The butler said and bowed briefly. "We did not intend to interrupt you two on your date." The butler's blue eyes flicked to Hachi momentarily, and both of us froze. W-well, I suppose it could be seen as a date by outsiders, and while that is one reason for this, there is a greater p-purpose… Feeling embarrassed, I turned away from the pair, my eyes briefly meeting those of Suzutsuki Kanade as she stared at us with intrigue.
"...Yukinoshita Yukino, huh…" The red-eyed girl muttered, her eyes scanning me and Hachi, before moving up and taking the blue-haired boy's hand into her own. "Well, I guess I should apologize as well. I doubt I'll get the chance to do so later today, after all." She said with a slight bow, giving me a knowing look. ...I see, now. Her family must also be invited to the event that Nee-san and Mother are going to, so while she's still got free time, she's taking the chance to go out like this.
"If at all possible, I would like it if you did not tell anyone you saw me here today." I replied to her, gesturing to Hachi with my hand. "We came here for research purposes, not for a… date, but there are certain people who could see it that way." Suzutsuki Kanade smiled at me mysteriously, reminding me a little of my sister. I don't know her at all, but I am hoping that she isn't one to gossip… From what little I can recall, she has socialized at the events people like us attend, but we haven't interacted enough for me to know for sure.
"...I understand. You have my word on it. We had to wait a month before we made things public, after all." Suzutsuki Kanade replied, using her hold on the blue-haired boy's hand to pull him towards herself and pressing him against her body. I guess that answers any questions about their relationship… Though it does seem that she perhaps misunderstood what I meant. "We'll leave you two to it, then. I do wish I could have as much… freedom as you do, but we are unfortunately on a tight schedule today." The girl didn't break eye contact with me as she spoke, her words clearly directed at me. I see. An unwilling participant dragged along by her parents, perhaps..? "Subaru, Jirou-kun, let us continue." She then addressed her butler and… boyfriend, the former of which offered me a short bow – no doubt also recognizing
me in some capacity as I had recognized them – before they all continued on towards the Tokyo Bay exhibit.
"...Someone you know from the 'rich girl circles'?" Hachi asked from me as we watched the trio's backs, and I let out a sigh.
"...I don't know her personally. And don't call it that, you know I don't exactly like being lumped together with my family on matters like this." I replied and rubbed the bridge of my nose slightly. "Her name is Suzutsuki Kanade, and she's the heiress to a wealthy family. Her position is not unlike mine, but she is an only child. I've seen her before in the past whenever I've had to attend the sort of events that Nee-san has the privilege of attending nowadays, but I believe that was our first time speaking to one another directly." I explained to him, and Hachi nodded slowly, his eyes lingering on the distance for a moment before he looked to me again.
"I see. And presumably she is here for… one of those events? The one Hayama and your sister are going to as well?" I gave him a nod in response. As expected, he's able to easily piece together information. "...She didn't seem too happy about going there." ...And his observational skills are still top-notch.
"Yes, I picked up on that as well. I've seen her butler before, but the other boy with him I am unfamiliar with. Though… their… r-relationship seems to be quite clear." I responded, but received no reply from Hachi even after several seconds, so I turned to him in curiosity, only to see his gaze still directed at the distance with his expression showing me that he was pondering upon something.
"...That butler gave me the same vibes as Totsuka… they've both got the androgynous, 'cute boy' look…" Hachi muttered to himself, and I lifted an eyebrow in confusion. That's what you're focused on, Hachi..? Likely noticing my expression, Hachi quickly cleared his throat and somewhat awkwardly scratched his cheek as he pointed towards the exhibits. "A-anyway, should we continue as well? There's still plenty to see."
"...Yes, we should, Hikigaya-kun." I replied while suppressing a sigh. What am I going to do with you…
Continuing with the exhibit, we walked up the raised catwalk in this section to have a closer look at the exhibits. Compared to the previous ones, this exhibit was of a much smaller scale, consisting of several smaller tanks displaying various species from the waters near Tokyo. As we moved through the exhibits, we saw glimpses of the trio we had – quite literally – bumped into earlier, but had no further interactions with them. After finishing with the Seas of Tokyo exhibit, we moved onto the last exhibit inside the aquarium itself – the Seabird Habitat, inhabited by tufted puffins and other auks. With it being the winter, the plumage of the tufted puffins was less lustrous than usual, and their namesake feature – the yellow tufts on their heads – were also missing. Still, their larger size easily set them aside from the other auks in the habitat.
We didn't spend long at the seabird exhibit, and soon enough found ourselves back on the second floor of the aquarium, where we had a quick bathroom break before exiting out again and making our way to the last exhibit at Tokyo Sea Life Park, situated outside near the main entrance. The short outside path featured exhibits for Japanese waterbirds such as the tanchōzuru – the red-crowned cranes of Hokkaido – as well as the endangered Oriental storks, in addition to an exhibit about Japanese freshwater species, including various species of killifish, masu salmon and the Oikawa, or pale chub. The majestic cranes were definitely the highlight of the final exhibit, and were something fresh and new amidst the multitude of aquatic species we had been exposed to already. Alas, despite their association with longevity and immortality in many myths, the tanchōzuru has been recognized as an endangered species for decades – we can only hope that the conservation efforts are successful, and that these beautiful birds are not reduced to a mere myth.
Finally, after a long but satisfying tour of the Tokyo Sea Life Park, Hachi and I walked out of the front gates and took with us the experiences and knowledge we attained, as well as plenty of notes about the aquarium as a potential date spot. To round off our visit to the Kaisai Rinkai Park, we made our way to Japan's tallest ferris wheel, the Diamond and Flower Ferris Wheel, figuring that it would be popular enough date spot to gather info on – and would allow us to unwind and relax after our visits to several other potential date spots.
"Haaaah… It feels good to sit down for a while." I idly commented after we had taken our seats in the passenger car of the ferris wheel, turning my head towards Tokyo Bay as we were slowly lifted up.
"Feeling tired?" Hachi asked, and I glanced over at him to see his eyes also directed out at the bay. This… is quite a… romantic situation we're in, and while my heart is beating rapidly at our proximity… It doesn't quite feel the same as what I've read about in romance novels. I suppose the real thing is always different, and me being this calm is just a testament to how… safe I feel with Hachi… Suppressing a smile, I closed my eyes to take a moment before responding.
"A little, perhaps. There were… more people in there that I had expected. All the walking has also taken its toll slightly. Though, I am still perfectly fine to continue – this is still far from the limits of my stamina." In the corner of my eye, I could see Hachi glancing in my direction, his eyes lingering on me for a few quiet moments before he replied.
"My feet are definitely feeling all the walking." Hachi said, and I watched as he reached down and rubbed his legs slightly. Sensing an opportunity, I let a small smile onto my face as I sent a sideways glance his way.
"Isn't that just because you're used to sitting around inside all day?" I asked in a teasing tone, and Hachi met my eyes for a few moments, before he sat up straight and crossed his arms.
"...I just appreciate the alone time, and it's not like I have any reasons to leave the house that often. You're a loner, too, so I don't think you can lecture me much about staying cooped up inside all day on a weekend." He countered me, then shifted his gaze back to Tokyo Bay. "Besides, I cycle to school and back every day. Even if I spend my weekends at home, that doesn't mean I don't get regular exercise. I'm just more used to cycling than walking around."
"You make a fair point, Hikigaya-kun." I said and offered Hachi a smile.
Afterwards, we fell into a comfortable silence as we relaxed while taking in the sights of Tokyo Bay and the Bōsō Peninsula offered to us by the ferris wheel ride. It was an overcast day, but it wasn't too late in the afternoon yet, so visibility was good, though I couldn't quite make out Mount Fuji, even knowing it loomed in the distance. A few minutes passed in silence as we climbed higher and higher, until my attention was brought to Hachi due to the sound of him clearing his throat.
"So… have you… gotten good notes so far?" Hachi asked from me, only glancing in my direction. An… attempt at small talk..? Well, I suppose his effort should be commended…
"Yes, I have. Far better notes than I would have gotten just from looking up these places online, that is for sure. They… will make good reference material for possible future requests. Thank you for assisting me in this with your perspective, Hikigaya-kun." I replied to him, and Hachi's eyes lingered on me for a bit longer.
"...I don't really feel like I did much, though…" He then said while awkwardly scratching his cheek.
"You've done enough." I said with a smile, causing Hachi to stop in place. "Yes, perhaps my notes would be more… comprehensive if you were more active, but even just small bits of insight from you were enough." And even just you being here with me means that I've achieved what I set out to do. Though, Hachi has no need to know of my ulterior motives, at least not yet. Hachi didn't reply to me, only nodding slightly before averting his eyes again, silence falling upon us. Could… this be the best opportunity I have..? I felt my hands balling up into fists as a tinge of nervousness rose up within me, but I swallowed it down. I don't want to force him into anything, but… I need to do this. For both our sakes. "...Say, Hikigaya-kun…" I began again after nearly a minute of silence, and Hachi turned his face to me again.
"Hm?" He lifted an eyebrow when I didn't speak any more, urging me to continue. He… already said that he was willing to try talking if I was willing to listen, so…
"I… about what you… said back at the penguin exhibit." Hachi's eyes widened slightly, before his brows furrowed, but he didn't stop me from speaking further. "I know that… you said that we should focus on the things in front of us first, and I agree with that, but…" I averted my eyes from Hachi for a few moments, feeling my heartbeat increasing, before slowly meeting his gaze again. "...I want to know. I want to listen. Will you… let me?" My fingers were gripping onto the hem of my jacket as I held eye contact with Hachi.
We simply stared at each other for several, agonizingly long and quiet seconds. I couldn't even breathe as I anticipated his response. Hachi had shown me he was willing to open up, but did I push things too quickly? Suddenly, a dreadful possibility arose in my mind. I knew through my sister that Miura had extended her hand to help Hachi on Thursday, but I had no idea how Hachi had replied to the offer. Could… could he have accepted her help? Could… he have chosen Miura-san as the one to help heal his wounds..?
I suddenly felt very light-headed.
No, that… can't be the case. Hachi and I… we are meant to be together. If not… then all this…
"...Yukinoshita?" Hachi's words brought me back to reality, and I saw him looking at me with worry. "You look… pale." I blinked, then looked down to see my hands shaking somewhat. ...That's not good. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to calm myself, reassuring that things would go favourably. I'm sure Hachi wouldn't… do that to me.
"...I'm fine now, thank you for your concern, Hikigaya-kun." I said after a moment, opening my eyes to meet his, still filled with worry. "More importantly…" I then continued, but trailed off, somewhat afraid to say it out loud. Luckily, Hachi seemed to get what I meant, and his expression turned more serious again. Please…
"...Right. Well… If you are willing to… l-listen…" Hachi paused and looked at me, so I nodded to him encouragingly. "...Alright. So… I'll just get to the point." Despite his words, Hachi paused again, looking nervous, but he seemingly steeled himself and continued. "The… Service club. Recently, I… I've been… worried." The… club..? "This whole deal with Miura's request has gotten me to think about it. I've been pushing the issue away in my mind, thinking that it'd be something we figure out in the future, but… I realized back there that I can't just keep pushing it away. Ignoring it because I'm… afraid only makes it worse. For all of us." Hachi's eyes had been wandering all over the inside of the passenger car, but now they met mine again. "I'm… worried about… the status quo. I… l-like what we have now in the club, but I'm afraid that we won't be able to keep it up in our third year. Things will… have to change, and I'm afraid that they won't survive that change. I don't want the club to become just a memory." Hachi finished, his gaze directed downwards at the space between our feet and his hands sitting motionlessly in his lap. ...I see.
It wasn't exactly what I had expected Hachi to open up about, but I fully understood him. Hachi was worried about the same thing I had once worried about would happen if I were to act upon my feelings, but from a slightly different perspective.
He didn't want to lose the Service Club.
He didn't want to lose us.
He didn't want to lose… me.
The thought made me happy and my heart beat faster in my chest, but I understood this was a serious thing.
While I had long since accepted that things in the Club would have to change when me and Hachi ultimately end up together, that did not mean I wanted to lose the air of the club in any way, nor did I want to lose Yuigahama. Hachi had a valid concern, could we be sure that things would stay the same once we become third-years? Each of us had to some degree recognized that, despite facing hardship and periods of stagnation before, the status quo of the club was a fragile one. But… how can we make sure that the club doesn't just become a memory for us, like Hachi said? Obviously, I am confident that myself and Hachi won't be separated, but Yuigahama…
"...I understand, Hikigaya-kun. I… do not want to… lose you or Yuigahama-san either." I replied after some thinking, and Hachi lifted his gaze to meet mine. "What… are you thinking, then? How do you think we can preserve things as they are even when the things around us change?" I then queried from him. How exactly we think things will change is different in all likelihood, but I understand Hachi's concern.
"I… don't really know. All I know is that I can't just leave things until the last minute. I was hoping that helping Miura with request regarding her clique would also help me understand… our situation a bit better, and that maybe I could even… find some hints as to what the genuine thing is, but… I don't really know what to do." Hachi looked away again, then spoke in a lower tone. "...Sorry that I've brought something like this up, just… I don't want us to become complacent."
"It's fine, Hikigaya-kun. I said that I'd listen to you, and I will. Whether it's about the club, or… something else. And I will help you. I… want to help you, Hikigaya-kun." I decided it was time to let some of my more honest feelings through, hoping that Hachi would be willing to open up more if I did. Perhaps taken aback by my words, Hachi looked at me with slight surprise, and I could swear that there was the slightest hint of a blush on his cheeks.
"...Thanks, Yukinoshita. I…" Hachi finally managed to say, but then trailed off and fell silent again. Feeling brave even as my heartbeat rapidly increased in my chest, I decided to push my luck and reached out towards Hachi, taking his hand into mine.
"...Hikigaya-kun." Hachi froze as I pulled him closer, our faces less than fifteen centimetres away from each other right as the passenger car we were seated in reached its zenith at the very top of the ferris wheel. "Please… let me help you. And I do not mean just with this." I tightened my hold on Hachi's hand momentarily, steeling myself even as my heartbeat far exceeded what could be considered normal. "It doesn't have to be now, it doesn't have to be tomorrow, but… let me help you. All I ask for in return…" I paused to swallow down the nervousness in me. "...is for you to listen to me, and help me in turn." I watched as Hachi's eyes widened, while a clearly visible blush coloured his cheeks, my own face burning as well.
But I did not back down.
I needed this last push.
I stared deep into the blue eyes of the girl in front of me, her words echoing around in my head, all other sounds drowned out by the frantic beating of my heart.
I don't know how long we stayed like that, completely still, but I could feel it within me the whole time.
Yukinoshita Yukino had managed to worm her way through my defenses and grasp at my heart. And now, she was demolishing those defenses from the inside out.
With each repeat of her words in my mind, and the genuine emotion I could feel from behind them, the walls I had spent years building around my heart, already weakened by the onslaught of Miura only a couple of days prior, crumbled down.
And for the first time since my request for something genuine, I felt truly weak.
How many times had I wished someone was there to help me?
How long did it take until I decided that nobody could help me but myself?
How long did I spend believing that I didn't need anybody's help but my own?
How… did these two girls manage to tear down everything I had erected to protect myself with just a few words?
I didn't know. But I didn't need to know.
All I needed to know was that the help I had convinced myself I didn't need had finally appeared, in the form of Yukinoshita Yukino and Miura Yumiko.
And I knew I needed to do everything I could to not lose them.
"...I will, Yukinoshita."
The words that finally came out of my mouth were quiet, and were just about the only thing I could say at that moment. The expression on the face of the girl in front of me turned to one of relief, and she closed her eyes.
I will listen to you, Yukinoshita, and Miura. And I will help you both.
AN: And we are finally done with another hefty chapter. I was initially even planning on having even more at the end, but we've already broken the 18k word mark so I'd better stop. I know this took a long time, but I hope it was worth the wait.
This year has been very weird, and I do truly wish I could have written more and published more during it, but what's done is done and we have to live with it. Next chapter will likely come out in early 2022, but can't give any clear dates yet. I'll be trying my best to get back into a regular writing schedule, but even with supposedly having nothing but free time, it's very difficult to balance all of my interests at once.
But, enough rambling. Until the next chapter, cheerio!
