A/N: I'd like to thank everyone for taking the time to read this lengthy fic and for your wonderful reviews. I've received close to 15,000 hits on this story. And I thank you all. Thank you, also, for those of you who emailed me personally on how I should end this.
Well, here it is, the final chapter. I've tried to update at least once a week, but, was really in a dilemma. My apologies for such a long gap on this last part. Addison/Derek or Meredith/Derek? Hope I haven't offended anyone on the decision I've made.
And a special THANKS to EVIE - you're the GREATEST!
Jesse had been accustomed to having been around Christina and Burke for the past several weeks. He cried constantly during the first few nights at his new home. He had been used to "godmommy" Christina and Uncle Burke, that the first time Izzie and George stayed home with him, he did nothing but cried.
Meredith was completely settled back at her house. The best part about being home was that she was back with her dear friends and Christina was just several blocks away.
It had been two weeks and Meredith still had not seen Derek. Sure, he knew of her decision on her living arrangements, but, stayed away until it was time for her and Jesse to join him. What's a few weeks, when he'd surely have them soon enough, his family, under one household.
Meredith had reluctantly agreed for Derek to drop by for a visit due to his persistent telephone calls, afterall, he was the baby's father.
"Here's your daddy," Meredith spoke baby talk to her son as he was handed over to his father. I'll leave you two alone, I'll be in the kitchen, Derek."
"Please stay, Meredith. We are family, you know," he pleaded with those eyes of his.
"Okay," she whispered.
"I'm glad you decided to stay. I know you needed time, but, I'm not a patient man, anymore. I need to know what happens next? With you and the baby?"
"I told you, I needed time to think. I can't make an irrational decision when it comes to my son's future, Dr. Shepherd."
"Our son, Meredith," he corrected her. "And he needs to be with me, with you, with the both of us, together."
"Derek! I told you, just...I need time."
"How much time, huh? When he starts to talk and walk? When, Meredith? I don't want to miss his growing up. I'd already missed out on his birth."
"And who's fault is it? You chose your wife! I didn't want to complicate things for you. I'll take the baby now and put him down in his crib, then we'll talk, alright?" She held back her temper.
After several minutes, Meredith walked back into the living room and found Derek seated comfortably on her sofa. She sat beside him.
"Am I being punished for having chosen Addison over you? She's no longer in the picture. Is that what's stopping you from being with me? She'll never be back."
"Is that what you think? That I'm hesitant to be with you because your wife might want you back?" She raised her voice, then lowered it immediately as she stood up. "It's because of you, Derek. "
"What?" He reached out and held her hand.
"Yes, it's because of you. If I recall correctly and forgive me for being repetitive but,...pick me, choose me, love me...but, you didn't, Derek. You didn't!"
He released her hand immediately and pulled himself up. "I'm sorry. I'm so very sorry. But, I'll make it up to you and Jesse. I promise."
She shook her head. "No, you can't make it up. Nothing will ever ease the pain I've felt or am feeling for your decision. I don't ever want to be someone's second choice. No one should ever be in a predicament like that. Everyone should be number one in someone's life until a child comes between them, and then, they move down to number two. But, I'm number two after your wife. I can't be with you."
"I love you, Meredith, you and the baby," his voice cracked as he spoke. He reached out to her, but she stepped back.
"Don't, please, don't touch me. It's not that I don't love you, I do, but, I can't be with you. Don't you understand?"
"No, I don't. You say you love me. But, you don't want to be with me?"
"That's correct. There was a time I thought I needed you in my life. But, Jesse comes first now. No one else."
"Meredith, I..."
"Wait," she raised her hand. "You had your reasons for having chosen Addison. You loved her. And I know a part of you still does. You say you love me, but, not enough, Derek or you would have chosen me."
He said nothing and just listened.
"Look at that. You can't deny what I've just said."
"I'm sorry."
"No, Derek, I am. I'm sorry it has to come to this. I can't see us being together as a couple. We're mom and dad to Jesse and that's what we should concentrate on. We'll just be friends for now and we'll see what the future brings for us. Who knows, our son might eventually get us back together again. But, not for the time being. I hope you understand. I really do love you, but, sometimes loving someone with all of your heart, does not necessarily mean being with them for the rest of their lives."
"I can see there's no changing your mind. Thank you for being candid on your feelings about everything, about us."
"I've grown up a lot since I've been away. I'm no longer that naive young intern you first met, first got involved with. I thought with my heart, not my head, for the heart is always wiser, but, not this time. Right now, my head rules my heart. And the only thing I can offer you is friendship. I won't deprive you of your son. You'll have unlimited amount of visitation rights."
He conceded and nodded. "Jesse is number one priority. And I only hope I can be as great a parent as you have been to our son. I love you, Meredith, I really do."
Meredith wiped the tears which slowly slid down his cheeks. "I know, Derek, I know you do. Come on, our baby needs us." She held out her hand and he squeezed it tightly as they headed to Jesse's bedroom.
The End
