Author: Porthos
Spoilers: Itty bitty one for Trinity, plus obviously Lost Boys and The Hive.
Author's notes: Okay, I pretty much wrote this in my head on my way to work today, (got to find some way to entertain myself for those 30 minute drives), so I'm glad the students I teach just have a work day today, because I really want to write this! Thanks to everyone who reviewed, and I also want to say that if you guys are looking for more Teyla/Rodney stuff, I collected quite a bit of it at my C2 called "Astrophysicists do it with a Big Bang." There's a link to it in my profile.
Also, for some reason this chapter keeps getting cut off half way through, so I'm going to try to fix it, but just be patient with me, please. ffnet is probably getting sick of hearing from me by now, but crap like this keeps happening to me…
oOo
I spin to avoid the blow, then wince as Sheppard's strike hits my left shoulder. It is not the first bruise I have received today. As I take a moment to recover from the strike, Sheppard twirls the stick in his hand, grinning smugly. "C'mon, Teyla!" he taunts. "You're slipping. The last time I was able to beat you like this, it was all thanks to Carson's retrovirus."
I roll my shoulders before settling back into my fighting stance. "I thought we were no longer to speak of that incident." The Colonel blushes slightly at the memory, and I am pleased I have at least been able to strike a nerve with words, even if I have not been able to do so with my fighting sticks. He is right, I am not sparring with the energy and skill that I normally possess. I attack with a rapid flick of my wrist, but it seems sluggish and my strike is easily blocked. I feel weak, and I am unable to focus. My muscles are yearning for the strength and power they obtained from the enzyme, and seem unwilling to cooperate without it. Still, I am not willing to admit this to the Colonel. "Perhaps it is not that I am slipping, but that you are improving." I attack with a fierce volley of strikes at his head, shoulders, and hips, but he blocks them all gracefully, and manages to land a hit to my right side. It stings less than usual, and I believe he has pulled that strike at the last moment. I feel foolish knowing he is going easy on me.
"Are you sure it's not something else?" He feints a strike to my left, then attacks right. I am able to block it.
"I am a little tired today, perhaps that is what you mean." I successfully block three quick strikes to my head. Sheppard steps back for a brief moment of rest before plunging into another attack.
"Actually, I was thinking it maybe had something to with the enzyme." A fierce swing from his left knocks my stick from my hand, and it comes to rest several feet away with a loud clatter. As I walk to pick up my weapon, I take a deep breath.
"Perhaps you are right, but you need not concern yourself with it." I answer without looking at him, but I am unable to hide the trace of bitterness that seeps into my words. It does not go unnoticed.
"What's that supposed to mean?" His arms are dropped casually to his side, our sparring forgotten. However, I feel the fighting is just about to begin, and I find myself longing for the release just as my body craves the enzyme.
"I simply meant that it is too late to start worrying about how the enzyme will affect me, since my body is now free of it. That is why you asked me to join you here, is it not?" My words may be gentle, but my tone is not. I allow my frustration surrounding the events of the past weeks to color my words.
Sheppard looks at me, his expression a strange mixture of relief and annoyance. "Well, now that you mention it, how are you feeling?"
"I am fine." My terse answer does little to alleviate his concerns, but I pretend not to notice his discomfort.
"That's not what Beckett said."
I narrow my eyes as I glare in his direction. "You have been checking up on me?" My accusation sounds spiteful, even to my own ears.
"Teyla, I'm just trying to make sure you're okay. I'm concerned about what that enzyme could have done to you."
A snort of harsh laughter erupts from my chest. "Concerned." I spit out the word as if it had left a bad taste in my mouth. "Now you are concerned." His confusion and anger at my response is palpable, but I am loathe to stop now. "Where was such concern a week ago, when we were at the mercy of Aiden and his men?" My voice turns icy, as does my stare. "Or perhaps you would have showed more concern if you had been drugged as well."
Sheppard looks at me gravely, and his voice takes on the low, dangerous tone I have only heard him use on his enemies. "What are you saying, Teyla?"
I do not even blink as I stare him down. "I am saying that you are a selfish man, John Sheppard, and we have all suffered for it."
His fury comes to the forefront at my words. I can see the fire in his eyes, and he clenches his jaw tightly. "I'm not doing this with you right now." He speaks through gritted teeth. "I know you've been through a lot in the last few days, so—"
My stick crashes into the wall inches away from his head, and he freezes in shock. When I speak, my voice is deadly. "What do you know of the events of the past week? You were not even there!"
He is still rattled from the near-miss with my weapon, but he does not back down. "In case you've forgotten, I was there with you on that planet the entire time, trying to get us home!"
I gaze at him doubtfully, allowing skepticism to lace my words. "Where were you when the guards held us down and forced syringes full of poison into our arms? Were you there when they ran out of enzyme, and I felt so awful that I thought I might die? Was that you holding my hand as I sat there, unable to do anything but wait?" I feel my hands begin to shake with barely controlled rage, so I ball them into fists and will myself to retain some measure of self-control. The loss of control I felt from the enzyme is still fresh in my mind, but I push the memories away. I will deal with them later. "You weren't there, John. You abandoned us."
He whirls to face me with a stricken expression. "I never abandoned you!"
I close my eyes against his pained features. "It was close enough that we did not know the difference." I pause to breathe, reigning in my emotions. "You were so obsessed with getting Aiden back that you were willing to sit back and let us be force fed the enzyme. I cannot help but think that if you had been getting the enzyme alongside us, you would have felt differently."
Sheppard rakes a hand through his hair in frustration. "Look, don't blame me just because Ford decided I had to be the designated driver. And yes, I was trying very hard to get him to come back to Atlantis with us, but he was a part of my team, and I'll do whatever it takes to get him back."
I feel my temper flare again. "Do not assume that you are the only person who cared about Aiden, Colonel. Not a day goes by that I do not miss him, but I know now that we can never get him back." Sheppard looks away in hurt and resentment. "I know it is painful," I continue, "but we must accept that he is lost to us, and move on. It is your team that needs you now, not Aiden."
We stand this way, in uncomfortable silence, for quite some time. Somehow, I sense that my words have reached him, but he needs time to consider them. I silently move to retrieve my gear, then head for the door. His voice stops me just before I reach it. "Where are you going?"
I look back and try to smile in parting, but fail. I feel all my energy has drained, leaving me exhausted and weary. "I am meeting Dr. McKay at the infirmary, so that I may sit with him while Dr. Beckett runs some tests. He was there with me during my withdrawal, and I am still sorry that I was not able to return the kind gesture."
"Rodney did that?" Sheppard looks incredulous.
I fight to restrain my temper once again at Sheppard's reaction. "I know he made a mistake and that you now have difficulty trusting him, but Rodney has impressed me with his loyalty many times. He has never abandoned his friends when they needed him, including you, Colonel. Perhaps he is not the one who needs to earn back your trust…or mine." I watch Sheppard for a few more seconds to see if my words have hit their mark. Then, without a glance back, I leave, letting the doors slide shut on his expression.
oOo
Author's notes 2: Well, that's it! I hope you guys liked it. I thought the title was pretty good, because just like the last part deals with Teyla's withdrawal from the enzyme, in this part, Teyla "withdraws" from Sheppard. Also, I know Teyla is usually pretty calm and collected, but we've seen that she can have a pretty nasty temper on a few occasions, so I thought that might be fun to play with. Let me know how it worked:D
