Chapter 7: Disagree to Agree

Lemongrass odors again. Audrey knew immediately that she yet again in another nightmare. Her eyes opened to some pink-colored version of Crystal's father's throneroom. The sharp distinction, however, was that blood was flooding the room. It cascaded down the staircases and it flowed its tranquil way at the bottom of the steps leading to the throne. The regal chair itself was altered from its initial disgusting appearance to one of spinel gemstones carved into roses and the drapes replaced by layers of transparent pearls. Audrey found herself curling into the throne, but why she was trying to keep her distance from the bloody pool, she wasn't sure.

"Is your throne comfortable, my Queen of Mean?"

Audrey found herself trapped. The red-coated, redheaded man was sitting just on the throne's backrest, his legs resting on the right armrest. There was no way she could make a run for it in her own nightmare while he sat just above her. She didn't even have to look down at herself to see that for the second nightmare in a row, she was yet again a blonde Queen of Mean.

"I don't want any of this!" Audrey said. "Why can't you see that I don't want to be this?"

"Only Death can undo the bond, my Queen of Mean. As long as you live, I'm bound to address you as such. I'm bound to treat you with the regality you deserve. It's not my fault if you failed at your own sins."

"Well I'm not even qualified to be a queen anymore!" Audrey pointed her finger at him. "As far as I'm concerned, my regal status is null and void now!"

"Banished or not, you're still my Queen of Mean." The red-colored figure took her pointing hand and patted it gently. "Running away from your regal duties, causing chaos in Auradon, lying to anarchists about your identity, and using great cleverness in double-abusing the loopholes of that pestering Jareth's brat? Your clever sins only match your fallen angelic beauty."

Audrey didn't know what to make of that statement. His tone could have suggested that he was really complementing her, but with that indefinable smile of his and the way he was petting her hand as if she were a fragile thing, his honest thoughts could be debatable. She cautiously pulled her hand out of his. "So you claim that you're a demon I summoned?"

"I didn't claim. I confirmed." The demon raised his hand. "You saw the memories during your last nightmare. You summoned me during that performance of yours back at the museum. Have you ever considered releasing that solo of yours on the radio?"

"I was brainwashed during the third time I mentioned you," Audrey pointed out.

"Would you be surprised if I said that demons don't care about whether or not their clients were under the influence during summons? As far as I'm concerned, you still went through it."

Audrey groaned and slammed her head on the backrest.

"If it gives you some consolation, my Queen of Mean, you are my first client ever. Granted, I gave you many indulgences by not providing advice to further corrupt you, but you did do a spectacular job on nearly destroying a kingdom. However, because of that near-death experience of yours and the blasted bloodhound… Precautions need to be taken."

"Let me guess. You don't want to owe it to Hades and because I'm out of Auradon, there's no authority to protect me?"

"Hades is nothing but a pagan freak; the only death god I obey is the Fallen Angel himself. And I wouldn't go around gossiping about being an ex-princess…" To Audrey's startle, the demon grabbed her crown and crushed it in his dark-gloved hand. She gulped when she saw the shattered jewelry dissolve into ash. "The older residents won't be so kind to the offspring of an Auradonian monarch. They'd be seeking vengeance. They'd think your family sent you to spy on them. Bloodshed would eventually lead to the ashen wasteland of the Isle of the Lost, Auradon, and these lands." Audrey opened her mouth in an attempt to protest, but the demon put two fingers in front of her lips to shut her up. "I can really care less if this ends up becoming another dream of conquest like your first failed attempt. Can you imagine what would have led you to finally beg for me if you had succeeded?"

"No," Audrey said flatly, "because I didn't think about it."

"Of course you didn't."

"Gee, why would I think about the worst things that could happen? Oh, right. Because I wasn't in my right mind!" Audrey had forgotten where his two fingers had gone, and they had now slithered to her chin. They still gently held on to her small chin, but Audrey felt internal pain where his fingertips touched her skin.

"Two words my dear Queen of Mean…" His face was above hers by only a foot, forcing Audrey to hear better the angry volume that seethed through his still neutral smile. "DESOLATE… ISOLATION! I may be a demon, but I'm familiar with your pathetically inactive family's history. If it weren't for your godmothers' benevolent magic, your kingdom might as well have rotted in their sleep. You, my Queen of Mean, were not that benevolent. You were prepared to have all Auradonian souls rot in slumber or have their skeletons progressively disintegrate as statues. And with everyone in Auradon had died due to your spells, how long until the Isle's residents died from starvation. Last time I checked, Auradon provided it with leftovers. And if we had to imagine that you defeated the source of your petty jealousy? You'd have disposed of the remaining pesky nuisances. And in the end, who'd be left all alone in an empty kingdom while the other side of the Auradon Wall went on with their merry lives, not knowing that those who provoked them into exiles have been disintegrated?"

"Me?" Audrey asked.

"Very good. And can you imagine what would have happened to my Queen of Mean if she had succeeded in her plans and suffered the consequences of her desolate isolation?"

Audrey dared to imagine is oral illustration. Would she have killed herself for pursuing all this evil for naught and find herself in Hell with an angry demon she'd discover she accidentally summoned? Or would he convince her to have him come in the living world and…

"What's your gain in all of this?" Audrey shoved his hand off her face and properly sat up on the throne. The demon still kept that smile of his, but Audrey's reaction did cause him to physically react in a startled fashion. "Because if it was to take Auradon, I don't think I would have shared it! So, thank you, but no thank you! I don't need you to tell me what you think I should be doing with my sins! I already spent my life with people telling me what kind of princess I should be and it didn't work! I'm starting a new life now and nobody, especially not some slasher smiling demon that only shows up in my head!"

"Good! I was worried you were extinguishing that flame of yours!" The demon sighed in relief.

Audrey nearly lost her eyeballs. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME? THIS IS YOUR IDEA OF A PEP TALK?"

"What can I say? I prefer shrews over wenches." He gave her hand another kiss. "Do keep having more nightmares. I enjoy these chats we have when you sleep."
And much to Audrey's chagrin, she woke up before she got the chance to punch him. She found herself in the sleeping bag she had placed herself in over the small mattress Beetleglum had placed for her last night when Crystal had called for a sleepover in her room. To Audrey's relief, the Bloody Bambi had yet again rested underneath her as a furry pillow. It gave her a small lick on the cheek after she greeted it with a warm smile.

"Morning, Bloody Bambi." She caressed it. "Thank goodness you…" Audrey paused when she noticed that the mattress next to hers, the one Gothy was supposed to be sleeping in, was emptying. She looked up to the lousy canopy bed that belonged to Crystal and saw the latter perched on the bedpost, literally leaning down like a owl on a branch as she watched Gothy toss and turn in her bed. As quietly as she could, Audrey tiptoed on the cold stoned floor to reach the bed. Seriously, what kind of bedchamber did the Goblin King provide for his own daughter? The Auradon Prep bathrooms even smelled better than the stench of mud and sweat that filled the bedchamber even though it was shining to the point of giving the wall glitter an extra shine!

"Crystal…" Audrey whispered. Crystal didn't move from her position. Dressed in a brown cotton nightgown, she hugged her legs as she perched to keep watching Gothy sleep. "What is Gothy doing in your bed?" Oh God… Did Crystal…

"She kept tossing and turning in the middle of the night, talking in her sleep… She kept me awake. I moved her to my bed so she'd shut up, and when she did…"

"Don't tell me." Audrey pointed at the dark bags under Crystal's eyes. "You watched her sleep all night?"

"Isn't she gorgeous?" Crystal's tone sounded ever so dreamy. Audrey wanted to gag. Gothy had pretty much told in front of her face that Audrey looked dead whenever the latter slept. Now there was Crystal, already mentally messed up and thrill-seeking, whose current behavior made it clear that her behavior towards Gothy was now more than a mere party flirt. The levels of weirdness in all of this?

"GOTHY!" Audrey screamed. Crystal fell off her position while Gothy catapulted herself awake. Rather alarmed by the scream, Gothy picked up very quickly that something had moved her while she was moving.

"WHY AM I IN YOUR BED, YOU DERANGED NIGHT OWL?" Gothy screamed. Crystal had barely managed to get up from the ground when Gothy tried to slap her on the face with a fancy pillow. Crystal immediately dodged by transforming herself into a burrowing owl. She flew around, dodging Gothy's attempt to shoot her down with whatever item she could grab her hands on before eventually taking refuge on Audrey's head.

"Gothy, don't you dare!" Audrey raised her hands in defense when Gothy started to grab a lamp. Fortunately, a knock on the door forced them to pause.

"Princess! Milady guests! Noble steed! Breakfast!" Beetleglum shouted from the other side of the door. Crystal flew down and transformed back to her human form.

"In a moment!" Crystal turned to the girls. "So, who wants to shower first?"

Audrey was the last one to shower, and even after 10 minutes of hard scrubbing and triple-doses of shampoo, towel rubbing, and hair drying, the glitter on her hair still hadn't removed itself from her locks. She groaned and just went for having it loose while putting on some clothes. Though she aimed for a matching pink T-shirt and pants very much untouched by the glitter, she put her vest back on. At least the small patches of glitter that got stuck on the vest made the dark fabric sparkle in a subtle fashion.

She finally stepped out of the bathroom. Beetleglum just finished pouring hot cocoa with marshmallows in three crystal mugs. The Bloody Bambi was yet again drinking from a bowl of blood and Crystal and Maze were starting on the food waiting at the coffee table: freshly baked bread with marmalade and fruit salads.

"This stupid glitter won't come off!" Audrey showed off her hair to the others.

"I'm pretty sure I wasn't too drunk last night when I told you that this glitter sticks permanently on those with Fae magic." Crystal drank her cup. "It's my dad's way of figuring out which visitors of his aren't human… and also his way of doing a retro fashion statement. Sorry, but you're gonna have to learn to live with it."

"I do like the glitter on the vest, though. It's a good look on you," Gothy complimented.

They proceeded to eat for the next minutes. Though the diversity of marmalades was delicious, Gothy and Audrey quickly learned to NEVER bring up the idea of peach-flavored marmalade to Crystal. The latter had a massive hatred and allergy to peaches.

"So how soon do we leave?" Gothy asked Crystal.

"As soon as I pack up, throw a massive roast at my dad, and make a run for the hills to reach the doorway. But knowing Jareth, he'll know that I'll try to go to my friend's town, so I first need to throw him off the scent… Genius idea! I'll use him as a scapegoat for the Living Tar!"

Audrey nearly choked on her toast. The reference of 'Living Tar' gave her flashbacks of the chase back in Corona. The sentient black ooze that had erupted out of nowhere and practically stalked the girls until they were out. It came from these parts. "Wh… What exactly is the Living Tar?"

"An ooze that protects the doorway leading to the Fae Realm."

Audrey frowned. "I thought the Fae Moorways…"

"Yeah, those moors are just to give mortals better access to the Fae services they need. The Fae Realm, however, is the original homeland of all Fae. It was never touched when the world suddenly changed, it's still in one piece, and all Fae in the world are subjects to the monarchs, especially to the Queen's line descended from the Fae gods Titania and Oberon. The Fae Realm prince is the head honcho and massive about keeping the other Fae in check. He also doesn't like Jareth or me so scapegoating Jareth to have the prince think that Jareth is messing with him again will drive him nuts! But still nuts enough for us to leave our merry way while Jareth is too distracted!"

Audrey thought the plan sounded rational, but the part about the Living Tar still shook her. "Crystal, what exactly makes the Living Tar… alive in its use?"

"Besides magic fueling it? Primarily to defend the Fae deities' heir and chase down those that the Fae Realm prince has problems with. He's abused it a bit to satisfy his girlfriend's greedy needs."

Audrey couldn't eat anymore. The Living Tar had chased her and Gothy in Corona due to the magic left in her from her experience wielding Maleficent's staff. Audrey didn't even know much about the lands she was in, but she managed to understand very quickly that whoever the Fae Realm Prince was, he seemed to have had a problem with Maleficent. Why he'd send the Living Tar in Auradon, Audrey didn't know, but it was very likely that he didn't know that the Mistress of Evil was now a lizard and Audrey was the last person to use Mal's mother's magic. And the magic was developing within her. The Living Tar must have confused Audrey's magic for Maleficent's old magic.

When they were done eating, Beetleglum cleared the dishes. Crystal showed her epic packing skills by summoning purple-colored crystal balls and throwing them around her bedroom. Each crystal ball sucked a piece of furniture, clothing, accessory, book, and other items, and when each crystal ball had collected the materials, it shrunk to fit inside Crystal's brown briefcase. It was a nice spectacle, seeing the crystal balls float and shrink into her briefcase like a strange gust of magic. In less than five minutes, all the crystal balls Crystal had summoned were sealed in her briefcase. She locked the briefcase's owl lid with the combination. Only her naked bed and desk were left.

"Well I'm ready. But I still want to rub it on Jareth's face."

"Is it necessary?" Gothy asked. "I want do find my sister as soon as possible and you don't even know what time the king's coming back!"

The castle walls suddenly shook. From the window, they could see the bright blue sky suddenly turning white with grey clouds. Throughout the castle, the Goblin City, and the surrounding labyrinth, agitated screams from the Fae citizens were expanding.

"Milady spoke too soon!" Beetleglum struggled to stand up on his small feet. "Goblin King HOME!"

"CRYSTAL!" A voice boomed over the walls.

"ALRIGHT, TIGHT WINGS! I'M COMING!" Crystal rudely shouted before then whispering to Beetleglum. "Sneak them out through the castle gardens."

"Yes, Princess."

While Crystal went down the right hallway towards the throneroom, Beetleglum led the others towards the left hallway. Still, Audrey stopped behind them and watched where Crystal was going. What would happen if things didn't go as Crystal planned? At this stage, her father could probably do worse things. And Audrey, in a sense, related well with Crystal's rather lousy life as a princess.

It was probably only ten minutes later that the others would discover that Audrey went after Crystal.

Audrey cautiously hid behind the open doorway leading to the throneroom. Crystal and Jareth were arguing while the latter stood angrily in front of his throne. With her heeled boots on, Crystal's head leveled her father's neck.

"… Raising you to be my heir and this is my compensation?" The king snarled. "The repugnant smell of mortals and intoxication is still present in this castle despite how many times you have the goblins clean it up!"

"And you wonder why I have the place stink? You mask your nostrils at the smell of mortals faster than you have goblins run at the mention of Bog of Eternal Stench!" Crystal talked back.

"For once, you'd it kill you to obey me? At least once?"

"Aw, what's the matter? Your unrequited love interest still told you no again?" Crystal snorted. "I don't blame her."

Jareth got angry and summoned a clear-white crystal ball. Audrey dreaded that he'd throw it at his own child, but instead he threw it in the air. Lights started spinning around the throneroom and music randomly accompanying it. Apparently, that's what the two royalties did as arguing.

Jareth: Spoiled little thing,

You forget I'm the Goblin King

And here, I'm everyone's master!

By now, you should have gotten the clue!

Crystal: Oh, wasn't that why Sarah dumped you?

Jareth: Don't you dare get started on the matter!

Crystal: King, suitor, or dad, you stink!

Jareth: Could use some respect, don't you think?

Crystal: Between you and me, you're the lousiest seductor!

For thirty years, she gave you a clear no.

You stole her blood when she slept though.

Jareth: You're lecturing ME? FYI, I'm a child abductor!

Crystal: Don't expect some gratitude from me

Jareth: I'd prefer some gratitude

Both: I disagree to agree.

Audrey noticed that behind another doorway, some goblins were randomly doing background vocals while Crystal continued to have a musical argument with her father.

Jareth: I'm the one who leads the dance

Crystal: And you wonder why I don't give you a chance!

Jareth: Well let me tell you something, missy!

The only thing you got from me is to disagree to agree!

Jareth jumped in a slouching pose on his throne, only to start jumping out of it when Crystal threw her crystal balls at him like snowballs that exploded into clouds of glitter every time they missed him and hit the wall.

Crystal: You're a sore loser!

That underage gal made it clear!

I represent how you can't handle a 'no!'

Jareth: It's called tough love for a reason, Bog Booger!

I wouldn't be a villain without fear

And giving everyone their sense of woe!

Crystal: How the mighty have fallen!

Jareth: Before throwing more spite and strife,

Don't forget that my actions gave you life.

She was practically your blood donor…

Crystal: Drop down the nonsense!

It won't work in your defense!

I mean, hello, you practically acted like a b…

Audrey shuddered at the rhyme Crystal came up with. Still, in all the audacity, she was rather impressed by how Crystal practically trash-talked her father. It wasn't something Audrey was familiar with.

Crystal: Don't expect some gratitude from me

Jareth: I'd prefer some gratitude

Both: I disagree to agree.

Crystal: I'm the one who starts the dance

And I never needed you to give me that chance!

Jareth: Well let me tell you something, missy!

The only thing you got from me is to disagree to agree!

Jareth: Admit it, you're also guilty of sultry tastes!

Crystal: Except I handle them while you whine of your wastes!

Jareth: And you wonder why you aren't crowned?

Crystal: And you wonder why you never got the rebound?

Jareth: Grow up a bit!

Crystal: Than stop acting like shit!

Both: You got no power over me, you twit!

Jareth: Dance, magic dance!

Both: I'm the one who leads the dance

And you wonder why I never give you a chance!

Well let me tell you something, silly!

The only thing you got from me

The only thing you got from me

The only thing you got from me is to disagree to agree!

The music ended. Though their tones had lowered down, the angers were still there.

"Well, that stank!" Crystal shrugged. "I'm gone!" She started making her way out when Jareth grabbed her by her coat's collar.

"You expect to run off?" He laughed. "You're bound to my Labyrinth for the end of times! Ring a bell?"

"Sorry. I got wished to leave for as long as my disobedience to you lasts. Oh wait! My disobedience goes to the ends of time! Ring a bell?" Crystal shoved her father's hand away. "Consider me banished until you finally pass down the crown, dear old daddy!"

"Clearly you've forgotten who you're talking to!" Jareth pressed his right fingers together. A crystal ball appeared, only compared to the small sizes he and Crystal previously summoned, this one was the size equivalent for fortune-tellers. "A strike on your head with this would earn me your eternal obedience!"

From her hiding spot, Audrey panicked. The king was ready to brainwash his own heir into obedience, and if he succeeded, there would go the group's ticket of going further in the trip. She had to do something, but what? She couldn't even perform a spell from a witchcraft beginners' book and the one spell she could do only enchanted a van.

Audrey rechecked the scene. Crystal was now flying around the throneroom, avoiding the massive crystal balls that Jareth threw at her like magical cannonballs. The walls were getting insanely glittery as each crystal ball shattered.

Crystal ball… how did they move their fingers when summoning them? Audrey pressed her right fingers together as if to form a small triangle. I need a ball… I need a ball. Or, anything that I can hit his head with! A small pink glow came and… a spinel ball the size of her fist stood at the tip of her fingers.

"Great," she muttered.

"HOLD STILL, YOU BRAT!" Jareth had tripped on a stone after yet again another failed attempt to shoot Crystal. His back was turned on the doorway where Audrey was hidden. Apparently, things couldn't get any easier. Audrey stood up and immediately threw the spinel ball at Jareth, hitting him right in the head. The king stood still, dropping the crystal ball he had just generated, and in a matter of seconds, he dropped on the ground. When he looked dead, Audrey cautiously stepped out of her hiding spot while Crystal transformed out of her owl appearance. A snore escaped the king's lips.

"Are you serious right now?" Audrey exclaimed.

"You hit my dad on the head." Crystal gave a toothy grin.

"I hit him with a sleeping spell? Ugh! The universe hates me!"

"Relax!" Crystal clapped her hands in delight. "He's Fae! He doesn't have to worry about the whole kissy wake-up-call. But that means we only have twenty-nine minutes to get the Hell out of here." She grabbed Audrey by the arm and led her out of the throneroom.

Many minutes later

Gothy had panicked when just after Beetleglum led her and the Bloody Bambi out of the Labyrinth, they realized that Audrey hadn't been following. And after nearly ten minutes of debating whether to wait or go back for them, Crystal and Audrey came running out of a pathway.

"What's wrong with you people?" Gothy shouted. "Is it the day of giving me a heart attack?"

"Relax, Gorgeous," Crystal said while trying to catch some air. "Pink Fingers here just saved my hide."

"Pink Fingers?" Audrey frowned at Crystal's idea of a new nickname, but the Fae ignored her to continue talking. Th Bloody Bambi, in the meantime, gave Audrey both a cuddle and a stern glance that matched Gothy's in anger.

"Turns out she managed to survive my usual musical arguments with Jareth- don't ask- and he was going to brainwash me into obedience when she threw her own magic ball at his head!"

Gothy stared at Audrey. "You did that?"

"Hey, I had no idea what would happen! I still don't get why it made him fall asleep...for only 29 minutes."

"You made a crystal ball?"

"Well it was actually a spinel ball…"

"When did you learn?" Gothy was unconvinced. "You said you were unable to perform any spell from Ingwer Hexe's spellbook!"

"The daughter of the Candy Witch?" Crystal laughed her head off. She had to rest on a rock to wear down her laughter. "You guys honestly thought that Pink Fingers was going to perform witch magic with Fae magic?" She eventually stopped laughing and gave them a serious tone. "You'd be lost without me!"

Audrey moved her fingers again to recreate another spinel ball to show the others. "Kind of impressive," Gothy admitted.

"Yeah, but it's still a sleeping spell!" Audrey protested. "You know how things spectacularly went down for me the last time I casted a sleeping curse!"

"Yes, well next time, think harder on the specific jinx before you randomly toss it around." Crystal said dismissively. "Can we go now? Jareth will wake up soon and we still need to get out to create the diversion."

"Insensitive much?" Gothy told Crystal.

"I'm being serious! Look, props for casting a complicated spell as a beginner, but you DO NOT want to be around when he…"
A massive earthquake shook the entire kingdom. In the distance, clouds of crystal balls exploded their way out of the castle windows. "CRYSTAL MAAAAAAAAAAAAAZE!"

"Goblin King angry! Goblin King angry!" Beetleglum shrieked.

"Beetleglum, go back to the kitchens! Jareth will bog you if he finds out you helped me!" Crystal told the goblin, who immediately ran for the labyrinth. As for Crystal, she immediately began lifting Audrey and Gothy onto the Bloody Bambi. How she managed to lift them up like feathers while each carried a backpack, they didn't know. Crystal then threw one of her crystal balls at her briefcase, shrinking it so that once she transformed into a burrowing owl, she managed to snatch it with her beak and fly up to Audrey's shoulder. "WILL YOU TELL YOUR STEED TO MOVE IT ALREADY? IF MY DAD CATCHES, HE'LL MAKE SURE THAT OUR HEADS NEVER STICK OUT OF THE BOG OF ETERNAL STENCH!"