Chapter Twelve
Hours went by, as Calvin and Hobbes sat in the tree, with the raptors staring up at them, with hungry eyes.
"This isn't good." Calvin said, when morning came and the raptors were still here.
"No kidding?" Hobbes asked, sarcastically.
Calvin ignored him. "We only have one day and 16 hours before the asteroid hits Earth. And these stupid Dromaeosauridaes wont leave!"
"It's amazing what six year olds can pronounce if it has something to do about dinosaurs." Hobbes said.
"We have to find some way to get out of here!" Calvin yelled.
Calvin grabbed a tree limb, and flung it at the raptors.
It bonked one of them on the head.
It ripped its head up, and growled at Calvin.
"GET OUT OF HERE, YOU STUPID DUMBBELLS! NO WONDER YOU'RE EXTINCT! YOU HAVE ABOUT AS MUCH CLASS AS A SACK OF PEANUTS!"
The raptors all started howling, and roaring, and hissing, and screeching.
Calvin looked up to Hobbes.
"That didn't work." Hobbes said.
"What are we going to do?" Calvin asked. "We haven't even got T. Rex! How can we open a theme park without T. Rex?"
"I've used up so many comebacks to your general public cracks that I refuse to answer your last statement." Hobbes said.
Calvin grumbled and muttered, and glared at the raptors.
"How long do you plan on standing there!" He demanded. "Don't you have a crick in your neck? YOU'VE BEEN STARING AT ME FOR NINE SOLID HOURS! No cramps? Anthrax? Bird Flu? pinkeye? Southern Peru affliction?"
They stared at him.
Calvin glared at them, and turned to Hobbes.
"OK, Hobbes. Here's the plan: We'll sneak down the left side of the tree, do a whole bunch of complicated stuff, escape, and run into the sunset."
"Why don't you just use your MTM to go forward in time long enough until the leave?" Hobbes asked.
Calvin's eyes blanked out. then they came back into focus, and fixed onto Hobbes.
"Well, that would be taking the sissy way out." He said, finally.
"Mmm-hmmm." Hobbes uttered.
Calvin muttered to himself, and took the MTM out of his backpack.
Time Fast Forward activated
All at once, the MTM started making a loud humming sound.
The wind started to blow, heavily, and all at once, Fast Forward had just been hit on the VCR of life.
Hobbes watched as birds and Teradactles zoomed across the sky, Leaves shot to the ground like bullets, the raptors started vibrating wildly, and tiny rodents flew across the ground.
Calvin left time on fast forward for several seconds, then the raptors rapidly circled the tree a couple of times, then zoomed off.
Calvin hit the stop button.
The whining slowly began to get softer, the wind slowed, and things stopped moving at ninety miles per hour.
Hobbes pushed his fur down.
"Why did you program it to be so windy?" He asked, as he brushed his fur down.
"'cause it's cool." Calvin replied.
Hobbes rolled his eyes, and climbed out of the tree.
Calvin followed.
"Alright!" Calvin yelled. "Let us resume our peregrinate to the periphery of the wood!"
Calvin and Hobbes continued their march through the forest.
"Calvin, my feet hurt." Hobbes said.
"Keep going Hobbes! Just strain it! Gut it and make it hurt!"
"It does."
"Good! Great! Pain is our fuel, Hobbes! It's what drives us in this crazy business!"
"That's pretty crazy."
They continued walking.
"Don't you just hate it when people change the subject to a conversation?" Calvin necessitated.
"Not exactly." Hobbes said.
"I do! I mean, why else would somebody want to talk to me? To talk about me! I say if somebody changes the subject just slug him right there!"
The continued walking.
Finally, they came to the edge of the forest.
There, they found not a herd of grazing Triceratops, but a herd of weird two legged dinosaurs.
"What are those things?" Hobbes asked.
Calvin clicked around on the MTM, and brought up a link.
Ornithomimus
name meaning: Bird Mimic
Ornithomimus was about 11.5 feet long. With its slender, muscular rear limbs, it was well adapted for running and is believed to have used its long, outstretched tail for balance. Like other "ostrichdinosaurs," Ornithomimus was toothless, having beaklike jaws. Its small, thin-boned skull had an unusually large brain cavity.
IQ: kinda smart.
Behavior: no information
Diet: plants, genius.
"Where'd you get the information for this MTM?" Hobbes asked.
"I copied most of it out of a dinosaur book I got for Christmas." Calvin said.
Calvin took out the MTM, and started taking pictures of the Ornithomimus.
"Why does this seem so familiar?" Hobbes asked, as one of the Ornithomimus walked over to Hobbes, and began to sniff at him.
"You've seen these before." Calvin said.
"Yeah but where was it?" Hobbes asked.
"It was in Jurassic Park."
"Oh yes, now I remember. These were in that Jurassic Park movie."
"Yup." Calvin said. "They appeared right before a T. Rex attack."
"I'll be leaving now." Hobbes said, turning to go.
"Oh relax, Hobbes!" Calvin yelled. "T. Rex is probably miles from here!"
At that very moment there was a roar much like that of the trumpeting of an elephant. Multiplied by a thousand.
Calvin and Hobbes froze.
"...tah." Calvin chuckled, nervously. "Well, whaddyaknow?"
At that very moment, the Ornithomimus started squalling, and running off.
Calvin and Hobbes turned slowly.
The brush next to them exploded outward, and Tyrannosaurus Rex himself emerged from the wreckage, in all of his terrible glory.
"Big bird." Hobbes commented.
"Don't move a muscle." Calvin whispered. "It can't see you if your don't move."
A hologram shot out of the MTM.
Actually, that theory is out of date, and scientists decided they had better vision than that.
Calvin and Hobbes stared at the message.
"Well, that's a spirit breaker." Hobbes said.
The Tyrannosaurus drew its head back, and let out a terrible roar.
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Calvin and Hobbes screamed, and they zoomed off, the deadly dinosaur right on their tails.
Calvin and Hobbes were going so fast, they soon caught up with the Ornithomimus.
Ducking among the long necked birds, Calvin and Hobbes tried to avoid Tyrannosaurus.
Tyrannosaurus could run at a good thirty miles per hour, but that speed wouldn't help him find the time travelers in the sea of Ornithomimimus.
Calvin grabbed onto one of the Ornithomimimus' necks, and instructed Hobbes to do the same.
While the Ornithomimimus ran, Calvin and Hobbes hung on.
Tyrannosaurs eventually gave up the chase, and went back into the forest, growling.
"Well that was close." Calvin sighed.
"Don't relax yet." Hobbes said, flinging himself onto the Ornithomimimus' back. "We have more company."
Calvin climbed onto the Ornithomimimus' back, and looked around.
"I don't see anythu..." He stopped.
The raptors were back.
The Deinonychus were tilted slightly as they ran, and they made perfect sharp turns, as the pack stirred up a dust storm, and closed in over the Ornithomimimus.
"YIKES!" Calvin screamed. "RUN GRASS EATER! RUN!"
Calvin leaned forward, and the Ornithomimimus started going faster.
The raptors started snapping at the Ornithomimimus' legs, as the chase went on.
"This is odd." Hobbes thought out loud.
He studied the raptors. Several times, they could've jumped the Ornithomimimus. But they didn't.
"Hmmmm, They must only want to attack the old or weak." Hobbes finally decided.
"ONWARD NECKY!" Calvin bellowed, interrupting Hobbes' thoughts.
The raptors continued chasing the Ornithomimimus.
Hobbes then realized that they were chasing them from both sides.
"Almost as if they're herding them." Hobbes thought.
Suddenly, a raptor leaped from the bushes, and attacked, moon claw upward.
"YAAAIKES!" Calvin screamed, yanking the Ornithomimimus' neck, and causing him to swerve.
"They are herding them!" Hobbes yelled. "They are intelligent!"
"Big surprise, Hobbes!" Calvin spat.
"How are we going to get away from these things?" Hobbes asked.
"Observe." Calvin said, scientifically.
Calvin tapped his Ornithomimimus on the right side of the neck.
The Ornithomimimus went in that direction.
"Hmmm, well trained." Hobbes said.
"All we have to do, is steer these two things out of the herd! Since the raptors are following the herd, we can escape."
"Calvin, that's just what they want me to do!" Hobbes yelled. "They're waiting for one of them to get separated from the herd!"
"Oh, yeah." Calvin considered. "OK, forget I said that. Let's just hop off of necky, here, and run into the woods."
"Calvin's that'll be no different than the last thing you wanted to do." Hobbes said.
"Oh." Calvin said, scowling. "Well, then, I guess it's time to get out the trusty MTM!"
Calvin pulled his MTM out of his backpack.
A holographic keyboard shot up. Calvin started pushing keys.
W-H-A-T D-O W-E D-O N-O-W-?
Calvin hit enter and waited for a response. It came.
The answer to The Riddle of Life is... potato soup
Great.
Calvin put the MTM away, and turned to Hobbes.
"Hobbes, I'm afraid we're going to have to go through this mission without computer intelligence." He called.
"I can not begin to tell you how heart broken I am." Hobbes replied.
And so, Calvin put his plan on escaping the raptors into action.
If you want to know what it was, you're going to have to keep reading.
