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Chapter Eleven:

Cause I've lost loved ones in my life
Who never knew how much I loved them
Now I live with the regret
That my true feelings for them never revealed~~Garth Brooks: If Tomorrow Never Comes


I look at the head Elder and nod. I put the visor back on and await the next memory. Suddenly the screens come to life again and once more I am clueless to what this memory is. Then suddenly I see my younger self planting in Hydroponics...with Harper.

At that moment I know exactly what this memory is of and it takes everything I have in me not to rip the visor off my head and stop the memory. I stand there watching mentally screaming, begging for it to stop. I don't dare let my eyes wander to Harper who I know cannot be taking this too well. My eyes lock on the screen, I watch as the best day of my long life quickly turns into the worse. I watch as I confess my love to Harper and our one and only true kiss.

I bite my lip as I watch as Harper tells me that he has always felt the same. I try so hard to take my eyes away from the screen but cannot, as I watch Harper double over in pain. At that point the screen starts to shimmer as though the memory is about to end and I am just about to breathe a sigh of relief when I realize that the shimmers are taking on a new memory. When the shimmer take on their complete image my eyes go wide as I immediately recognize the scene.

I'm standing in med deck with Harper's unconscious form. Once again my mind is pleading for this to stop. I know that I cannot relive this memory. I relived it every time I closed my eyes for the years following it. I was watching my final moments with Harper. I watched my younger self hover over Harper's unmoving form. Watch as she leans in taking in that heavenly smell of oil and Sparky, a smell that I am just getting use to smelling once again. I see my younger self start to hum and I know what is coming next.

At that moment I realize my lower lip is quivering as my younger self raises her blaster. As her finger grips the trigger, I squeeze my eyes shut as a lone tear rolls down my cheek. Then, just as deafening and earth shattering as the first time, the blaster fires. I open my tear-filled eyes just in time to see my younger self fall to her knees in tears. I take in a ragged breath. This has definitely been just as hard to watch the second time around as it was the first.

Suddenly I remember Harper has been watching. I shakingly pull off the visor and quickly look towards him. He's staring at the once again blank screen, his eyes wide, teeth clenched. Throughout the entire memory, I failed to remember that Harper had no future knowledge of this memory. He has just watched himself die at the hands of his best friend.

"Oh, oh my god," he says, voice cracking. Before I get the slightest moment to speak, Harper bolts from his chair with such force that it topples over. He quickly runs from the Tribunal room.

As he reaches the door I scream, "Harper, please wait," but he doesn't stop.

I look at the Elders not feeling the least bit of embarrassment that tears are still streaming down my cheeks. The head Elder looks at the doors in anger and says, "Ms. Gemini can you not control your human!? Go, get him and bring him back here so that we can continue. When you return, I expect that yours and your human's emotions be controled. I am ashamed, one of our kind showing such weakening emotions. Your time with the humans has made you weak. Go, get your human." The head Elder shakes her head in disgust. I wipe my eyes, nod and, grabbing my dress to insure that I do not fall, I run out of the room.

I run through the double doors, Harper is nowhere in sight. I stop and look around when I hear a sniffle. I turn completely around to see that Harper did not make it far. He is sitting on the floor beside the double doors. He has his knees pulled close to his chest, arms wrapped around them, with his head leaning against the wall, his eyes clenched shut. Harper takes in a ragged breath and asks, "Trance, please tell me what the hell I just watched in there."

I walk over to him, sliding down the wall, sitting beside him. "Oh Harper, I never wanted you to see that."

He looks at me, his eyes full of tears, cheeks already wet from the ones he allowed to fall, and asks, "Trance, was that real?"

This time it is I who closes their eyes, "All too real Harper, all too real. Remember earlier when you asked me about my future and what went so wrong in it. Well, that was what went wrong. I never wanted to tell you about this because everytime I though about it, I relived those last moments we were together. Everything you saw, everything that was said between us was true."

"So you killed me in your future," Harper askes, angerly wiping the wetness from his cheeks.

My eyes go wide in horror and I quickly say, "Oh god Harper no. What you saw, was both the best and worst day of my long life. Harper, in my timeline, we, you and me, were in love. What you saw was the day I decided to tell you. God, Harper, I honestly never felt as happy as when you kissed me. But, oh the divine has a cruel, cruel sense of humor."

I stop slowly trying to calm my once again ravaged emotions. "Harper we ran out of time, your medicine stopped working. Like in this timeline, you, Hhone and Rekeeb made the tesseract machine and Hhone sacrificed. I was so blind, Harper. I-I was the one who talked you into destroying the one thing that could save your life."

Harper's gaze goes quickly back to me, he has disbelief in his eyes. "You, you did what?"

"Harper you have to believe me, making you destroy that machine was the hardest thing I have ever done. I thought I was doing the right thing, that I could find a cure, but I was wrong, so wrong. I had to realize that I had failed you, that you were going to die. What you saw was our final moments together. I didn't even get to tell you good bye. You had already slipped into your final bout of unconsciousness. I said my good byes even humming your little chant."

"The one you hummed in the first memory and the one I heard you humming this morning."

"Yes the same one. It's a chant that my people use to calm the soul and I had used it on you when you were injured or having a nightmare, so I named it "Harper's Chant" and I used it to soothe you when it was time for your passing."

"Why did you kill me?"

I inwardly wince at the harshness of his words, look him in the eyes and say, "Because it was my fault you were there. I thought that taking you out of your pain would be a way of redemption. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I loved you Harper and I had to kill you. Do you realize how hard that is, killing the only man you've ever loved? That was the moment everything went wrong. I had to grow up, had to come back and fix things. I had no clue my people would come for you when they came for me. I mean you don't love me like the you in my timeline did, I've changed too much for you to ever find what you might have once had, I see that."

I start nervously rubbing my hands together and say, "See, when your other self confessed his love for me we broke the law of Ska-rae. Because of that law, it is forbidden for one of my kind to fall in love with someone from outside their species, especially a human. I'm so sorry that you had to be drawn into this. I mean you weren't even the Harper to confess."

Harper raises his hand to silence me. He takes a deep breath and I can see that he is starting to control himself. "Trance, you were right. You should have told me of your timeline, but I can see why you would be so hesitant. Just tell me that I won't see anymore of that."

I bite my lower lip and say, "I wish I could, Harper, I wish I could. I have no idea what they will pull from my memory. I just hope when this is all over you can forgive me, it's all I ask."

He didn't answer and I could sense that confused feeling in him once more but I couldn't see about what he was confused over. I was starting to sense a new feeling as well, Harper was torn about something. He stands up and runs a hand through his spikes. He takes in another large breath and turns around.

"Trance I don't know what to say so I'm not going to say anything." He extends his hand to me. I take it and he pulls me to my feet. My eyes are still wet and suddenly Harper's hands are on my cheeks, wiping away my tears. "Trance I will say this, in your timeline, you did the right thing," he says as he brushes away my final tears, but as I go to touch his hands he pulls away as though burned.

I look down. Whatever love for me that may have resurfaced in Harper over these past few months, I am starting to believe has been lost. I shake my head and say, "Harper they are waiting for us." He nods and we leave without another word said. Things are not going to run smoothly now. Harper has gotten his first real glimpse of what my timeline was like, the horrible acts I performed. There is no hope for our love now, all I can do is hope Harper still thinks of me as his friend. If I cannot get his love, at least I want to die knowing that we were still friends.

We take our place once more and the head Elder says, "Now would be the time for you to defend your actions, but yours and your human's show of emotions only shows this memory to be undeniable proof that the both of you in fact broke the law of Ska-rae. Since you and your human's emotions are in tact, it is time to move on and I warn you, there shall be no more interruptions. There will be one final memory today and then we will began again tomorrow. Ms. Gemini, put on your visor and we shall continue." I obey.

TBC

Now, review!!!!! I want some long reviews. :-) I mean you're only like halfway through Tribunal....it would be a shame if a certain Pixie happened to slow down her posting, you know to build the suspense. *evil grin* No, seriously...please review and tell me what you think. :-D