Chapter 11: Macabretown and the Deetz Family

As a stranger in stranger lands, Audrey had to recognize that her treatments at the Spa of Scents were far better than what she ever had in Auradon.

After properly suiting her up in a spa suit, Cologna had led her and the others to the floor before the main one, where the Spa of Scents had the biggest amount of bathtubs and saunas that could probably fill a ballroom. She could feel the internal shuddering of satisfaction when the bathing assistant poured in warm water, creating steams and bubbling foam scented of lavenders and lilies. The attendant even brought a tray full of macaroons and Turkish delights for Audrey to enjoy while she took care of scrubbing Audrey's stress points.

Cologna did insist on burning whatever clothes Audrey had brought from Auradon, and though Audrey now felt some sort of indifference when the topic of her family was brought up, she still couldn't part with her mother's blue cloak.

"Can't you just disinfect it?" Crystal asked.

"Clothes ain't like human stench, Maze."

"Hang on!" Beatrice snapped her fingers. "Didn't your dad create lace fabric with that enchanted sample of Frog's Breath that Auntie Sally donated to him?"

"Yeah, to repel the bad smells so clothes don't smell why you sweat. Why?"

"What if you sewed the Frog's Breath lace on the cloak so that it covers the Auradonian stench, and then you sew some fancy blue scented silk over the lace so nobody picks up on the Frog's Breath lace and Audrey gets to keep her cloak?"

For once, Cologna didn't have to grit her teeth while acknowledging that Beatrice was right: in less than ten minutes, she managed to sew a Frog Breath's lace with bird wing patterns onto the cloak and quickly sewed a lavender-scented lapis blue fabric over it. The bird wing lace patterns were darkened, but still visible. Audrey still had some dark-colored trousers left from Mrs. Hexe, but Cologna insisted that Audrey just but a sleeveless black camisole underneath her vest.

"Isn't the point of a vest to be worn over a long sleeved shirt?" Audrey asked.

"You're wearing a vest, not a corset," was all Cologna said.

The hair salon was the last part of the visit. While Crystal and Maze practically drooled over the different options in nail polish while their hair was being treated, Gothy was drooling over the glass cabinets bearing the different bottles of hair shampoo, conditioner, and hair dyes. At least each cabinet had more than twenty shelves, each carrying dozens of bottles organized in alphabetical and scent order. A nearby employee offered to open up some bottles for Gothy to sniff or peak at the colors. She could have died from delight.

"This is so much better than Lady Tremaine's Curl Up And Dye Salon!" She squealed.

"You know, you could totally start off a paid internship here. Mr. Grenouille is always looking for applicants." Beatrice was trying to raid the bowl of candy canes molded like snakes, but the employee by the table kept pointing his scissors at her, warning her to back off.

"Maybe. I first need to find my sister Cassandra." Gothy inhaled some sort of red hair dye called "Burtonian Strawberries" and immediately put the cork back on before the mixture of blood and strawberries could overwhelm her. "You know somebody whose father has three hearts."

"I do." Beatrice nodded. "But by now, you probably know that just telling you isn't how we give whereabouts to newcomers."

"I know…" Gothy took a look at some shampoo with a label claiming that it had the scents of ten different species of puppies. She immediately put it back on the shelf. "I just wish you people weren't so complicated at giving addresses."

"Well, compared to where you guys came from, it's total anarchy in these lands." Beatrice jumped on one of the fancy leather couches where people sit to wait in salons. "Think about it: it's double-protocols in case someone from The-Land-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named snoops around and manages to go back. Without any specific addresses, invaders can't target specific people. Besides, even if we were invaded, my dad says that any adult-aged person is armed. Besides, at this stage, everybody knows where everybody lives."

"Apparently Crystal doesn't." Gothy rolled her eyes, which ended up stumbling onto a framed picture hanging on the wall facing them. Gothy got up to have a better look at the seven-by-four framed monochrome picture of a bunch of adults standing in front of what looked like Macabretown on opening day. All the adults were drinking champagne and giving their biggest smiles to the camera, but Gothy was more interested in one particular woman in the background, holding her glass closer than in the air, looking reserved while everyone was in a celebratory mood. Though one particular patch of hair was very light and the rest only reached her chin level, Gothy very much recognized that style of naturally curled black hair. Her mother had it, she had it, and so did the illustrated portrait of four-year-old Cassandra.

"Is she your sister?" Beatrice connected the dots when she saw what Gothy was looking at. "You do rather look alike."

"Yeah. Black hair, I know."

"And the lack of smiles and the fact that you're tagging along with a blonde and somebody who annoys you."

Gothy looked at Beatrice. "Do you know Cassandra?"

Beatrice shook her head. "This picture was taken two decades ago. My dad says that while many stayed in Macabretown after helping to build it, a good amount still continued east."

"That's what I thought. Apparently she thought she was too dangerous for her old home…" An idea came to Gothy. "Does your dad know where she could have gone?"

"No. He kind of loses touch with people leaving Macabretown and never to return, being the mayor and all. But he has that same picture hanging in our house. We can go there and wait until he comes back if you want to ask him what he knows about her."

"Was he friends with her?"

"No."

"But why does he have the same picture then?" Gothy pointed at the picture.

"My mom's has a lot of galleries for photography. My dad has massive galleries for demons and the people he met who were either brilliant or idiotic to be involved with demons."

Minutes later

After paying some fees, the group left the Spa of Scents so Beatrice could lead them to her house. Macabretown had a system of checkerboard-fashioned cable cars and a station was just across the street from the Spa of Scents. Beatrice must have had some sort of notorious reputation: once the cable car driver saw her, he spared her from paying a fee.

"They're with me." She gestured to her friends.

"Of course." The driver rolled his eyes as if it was déja vu.

The smokes and vapors appeared to be clearing up in most of the town chimney's but only the massive factory at the far end continued to pit puffs of scented sweets, and with all the other chimneys clearing up, a massive landslide of solidified brown gooeyness could be seen. Distant figurines were shoveling their way through with drills, pickaxes, and sort of giant spoons.

"OK, that was your doing!" Crystal was shocked. "Bea, you trashed the chocolate factory?"

"It was an accident!"

"How? How did you singlehandedly create a chocolate avalanche from the inside?"

"Too much sugar?" Beatrice chuckled weakly.

"Look on the bright side." Some actual skeleton randomly spoke up from a magazine it was reading. "Wonka's paying people to dig up the chocolate. Now I don't have to worry about giving my kids money to go to the candy store. They just go there for some community service!"

It was when they reached the heart of the town when they saw the further insanity of Macabretown. The sidewalks were clean and flat but composed of some sort of pale white stone and black cement, further making it look like a wild checkerboard as the sidewalks were never straight but constantly curving. The buildings still look like they came out of a horror-themed abstract art show, keeping the main color palette black, white, red, purple, green, and the variety of grays. Some buildings were fancy mansions of different time periods, some were old wood-based houses similar to the cliché of haunted homes, and many were peculiar abstract, modern homes designed to fit the owners. The trees were getting their reddish colors for the fall while having strangely curved branches, it was almost like looking at massive dark hands with fall-colored nail polish, ready to grab anyone when ready. As the cable car kept moving around, it passed strange dark vehicles. Some were modern cars, some were old-fashioned carriages pulled by macabre animals, and others looked like someone's idea of designing buses to look like industrial centipedes. The signs of different business could be seen.

Chez Lecter.

Wednesday's Weapon Emporium.

Pugsley's Explosives Emporium.

Wonka Family Chocolate Shop.

Skellington Holiday Warehouse.

Musical Academy of the Corpse Bride.

Other World Threads and Dolls.

Paranormal Psychics Temp Agency.

Dante's Inferno.

Hell's Kitchen.

"This place is like the Isle of the Lost… if you remove the filth, put some Wifi, and turn it into a tourist spot," Gothy said.

"You'd be surprised by the amount of tourists we get on a regular basis." Just as Beatrice said this, they passed a series of parks were folks were setting up tables with spiderweb tablecloths and hanging a massive banner reading '22nd FALL FESTIVAL' over a black gazebo. A billboard hanging above one of the buildings kept changing its letters like the screens in train stations indicating when a train has left the station.

FESTIVALS AT MACABRETOWN.

Past: You just missed our Friday 13th Fiesta. Too bad for you and see you in December. We'll have poisonous apple cider.

Upcoming:

22nd Fall Festival. Special celebration this year in honor of the Wonka family heir.

Witches Sabbatical. Week's worth of activities and entertainment for witches on sabbatical.

Halloween. Can we get any obvious?

Demonic Visitation Fair. For more questions about demons visiting Macabretown or first-timers going on vacation in Hell, say the mayor's name three times.

"Demons visit the town?" Audrey faked a buyable gulp.

"It's my favorite times of every year!" Beatrice clapped her hand in excitement. "The last visit was last Friday. You just missed it!"

"So demons can visit whenever they like?"

"Not exactly. Most of the time, they aren't allowed to leave Hell so they send manifestations to communicate with the living. And when any of them want to visit Macabretown for a festivity, they usually need to file some serious paperwork for temporary travel. We're lucky if we get at least 666 different demons visiting us each year."

"666 different demons at least?" Gothy nearly freaked.

"Relax, Gorgeous!" Crystal waved a dismissive hand. "There's still demons completely banned from ever leaving Hell."

"And demons only get to visit us on specific dates like Friday the 13th, Halloween, full moons, solar and lunar eclipses, comet sightings, National Superstitions Month…"

"There's a whole month for superstitions?" Audrey was surprised.

"Yeah, for superstitions you need to respect. So for a whole month, don't climb up a ladder, adopt a black cat, light 13 candles on the 13th day, break a mirror on your neighborhood's head, burn a bunch of four-leafed clovers, and… Hey, we're here!"

They got off at a station in a neighborhood where they were close enough to see the chocolate factory rival the height of a mountain. The neighborhood itself had houses spread out so that each of them had its own individual, macabre garden space the size of a Tourney field. And at the end of the cul-de-sac stood a specific house that Beatrice led them to.

It had the physical structure of a small Victorian country house merged with the one of a roadhouse. The dark purple paint on the bricks looked rather bright in the grey afternoon, clearly meaning that the owners constantly repainted over them. The wooden beams, windowsills, and parlors were in black-and-white striped patterns reminding the viewers of a distorted piano. The windows gave away the signs of various black, purple, and green curtains. The garden, though well-tended and trimmed, was infested with twisted plants: ivy drenched in poison, booing bamboo, bellflowers ringing non-stop, honeysuckles made of frozen-solid honey being chased around by bees, primroses acting prim and proper, and roses bleeding each other out by throwing their thorns at each other.

"I see your mom has been doing another episode of garden maintenance," Crystal noted. Beatrice merely shrugged. The moment they stepped through the garden, the plants agitated. The bellflowers rang like those of fireman trucks while the booing bamboos started booing.

"BOO! MS. BEATRICE AT THE GATE! BOO! VISITORS AT THE GATE! CRYSTAL MAZE, TWO FOREIGNERS, AND A RED STAG!"

"BOO! INVITED, NO PROSECUTION!"

"How many times will you guys SHOUT? I LIVE HERE!" Beatrice shouted at the top of her lungs and briefly changed her hands so that her fingernails resembled sharp blades. "LEAVE ME ALONE, OR I'LL GIVE YOU A TRIMMING À LA FREDDY KRUEGER!"

"Beatrice! Put away your nails and get inside this instant!" The moment some woman's voice spoke up, the garden silenced itself. Beatrice put away her creepy hand and led them towards the black-colored black door. Signs were placed next to the beetle doorbell.

You are now entering the home of the following:

Beetlejuice- Mayor of Macabretown, Professional Bio-exorcist, Poltergeist, Con Artist, and Happily Married. Warn him if sandworms or his mother poke in.

Lydia Deetz- Vice Mayor of Macabretown, Founder of Spooks Photography and Goth Conventions, Human, Paranormal Medium, and Happily Married. Warn her if stereotypes or her stepmother poke in.

Beatrice Deetz- Homeschooled Student, Hybrid, Aspiring Musical Con Artist, and Happily Raised. Warn her if judgmental people poke in.

That last sign was a massive mental laughter.

Before they could step inside, Beatrice halted the Bloody Bambi. "Knowing my mom, she won't want it inside."

"But the Bloody Bambi mostly sticks around Audrey." Gothy spoke up as if separation sounded impossible. Just when she was done speaking that sentence, a crunching sound caused them to turn their heads and panic. The Bloody Bambi, in disinterest to what Beatrice had said, had started eating the roses. It took particular enjoyment at licking off the blood from the flowers' previous self-injuries besides chewing through the petals to the point of shredding them.

"Ah! My mom's roses!" Beatrice pulled on her ponytail.

"Bad Bloody Bambi!" Audrey forced the stag away from the roses. "Look, just wait outside and try not to murder Mrs. Deetz's garden. Please!"

The Bloody Bambi just rolled its eyes and lied down on the middle of the garden pathway. When the booing bamboos attempted to boo at it, the Bloody Bambi viciously bared its teeth at them. The plants immediately shrank and cowered away from it. It must have been the pitiful crying of the booing bamboos that caused the front door to open and for Mrs. Lydia Deetz to appear just behind her daughter.

The woman was probably only in her mid-forties, but it was very easy for Audrey to see the similar traits between Lydia and Beatrice. Both had black hair pulled up in a messy hairstyle, desaturated makeup, pale skin, and a taste for burgundy-colored shoes and gothic clothes. But while Beatrice had some hair dyed and all of it tied up in a messy ponytail, Lydia's natural black hair was in a bun. While Beatrice's outfit with giant stripes made her look like a walking circus, Lydia's gothic dress still looked partially formal and the very thin pinstripes on her coat had hints of red and purple. Beatrice had a lot of beetle motifs on her while her mother carried small, distinguishable silver spider-themed jewelry from her dangling earrings to her ruby wedding ring.

Audrey didn't have to guess that Beatrice took the most wildness from her father Beetlejuice, who she still had to meet. But right now, the only words she could spill out were: "It wasn't Beatrice's fault! I couldn't predict that the Bloody Bambi would eat your roses!"

Lydia saw the state of her roses and shrugged. "Eh. Roses are overrated. I was thinking of replacing them with mariachi marigolds."

Audrey and Beatrice sighed in relief.

"You've been up to some trouble, haven't you?" Lydia tapped her finger on Beatrice's nose.

"Now what makes you think I did such naughty things, m…" Beatrice was working on doing cute eyes until Lydia tapped once again, only this time her finger was harder.

"Don't you dare end that sentence with 'mommy dearest'." Her mother warned. "Your father got a phone call from Jean-Baptiste Grenouille. His employees are quite certain that you swindled Aromus and Cologna Grobmann Grenouille."

Audrey and Gothy stared at one another while Beatrice continued to play innocent. "What makes you think I was swindling her and not giving her a fair trade?"

"You only go there barely. I should know. You and your father are picky on hygiene. And also, because Crystal paid for a supposedly 'on-the-house service'."

"It was nothing, Mom! Honest!" Beatrice raised both of her hands in defense. "Cologna had a steaming machine problem, I was in the area where I met up with Crystal and our new friends Audrey and Gothy, and I said I'd clear up the steam if my friends could get free spa treatments."

Lydia, still suspicious, looked at Crystal. "Crystal, is she telling me the truth?"

"Well considering what I found out about the factory incident, Beatrice has her ways of expressing the truth. I would prefer not to get into full details as you are generally one to give people the benefit of the doubt, but Beatrice isn't lying full on. That, I can promise you." To put it simply, Crystal was assuring Mrs. Deetz that Beatrice wasn't lying but at the same time that Beatrice didn't want to tell the entire truth. To the ones who still had yet to familiarize themselves with the Deetz family, they were surprised to see the matriarch take a deep breath and just let it go.

"Want me to make the 4'o clock snacks, mom?" Beatrice asked genuinely rather than innocently.

"Just this time, you can go nuts on the caramel fudge for the hot cocoa," her mother said quietly.

Beatrice gave a quick peck on her mother's cheek and went inside. Though Mrs. Deetz successfully urged Crystal to follow Beatrice, she still stood in front of Audrey and Gothy.

"My husband will be coming back in a few minutes. You can wait in his office so you may talk about Cassandra," she quietly told Gothy.

Gothy was startled and tempted to ask how the woman knew, but she held herself back when she recalled the house sign addressing Lydia as a paranormal medium. "Of course you knew."

"What? No!" Lydia laughed. "I never use my methods to spy on foreigners! No, Jean-Baptiste also added in his phone call that one of the employees eavesdropped on your conversation with my daughter."

Gothy facepalmed herself.

"Do customers ever get any privacy at the Spa of Scents?" Audrey randomly asked.

"Well gossip isn't something you just chain down the same way you can't catch a sandworm in a sandbox." Lydia pointed out.

Later

Gothy had to admit that Beatrice sure had a way of making extra-dark hot cocoa, and the taste was very satisfying. Gothy continued to finish drinking it from her side of the desk while Beetlejuice continued to re-examine the group picture that included Cassandra in the background.

"What a shock!" He finally stopped the examination. "You're like her younger clone! Except your hair's longer and you probably don't have as many friends as she does."

Such a statement is commonly hurtful, but since by now Gothy only had two or three friends, she merely shrugged it off. "What happened to Cassandra?"

Beetlejuice frowned. "You didn't ask her best friend before you left…" He shuddered and hissed as he struggled to let out the word. "The land I don't want to think about."

"The most that I got was that she left because she thought she was too dangerous. And your daughter told me that Cassandra might have been involved with a demon."

"More like she was manipulated. Being involved is when you have a mutual, equal partnership, like what Lydia and I have." He handed the picture so that Gothy could have her turn holding it. "Zhan Tiri was a demoness who tried to steal the sun and moon powers and use them to trash Cassandra's old home. What do you know about the sun magic?"

"My mother exploited them for her own youth, kidnapped a princess, and after a failed scheme where she was reduced to dust, she's alive and probably searching for more essential oils on the Isle at this moment. And that she abandoned Cassandra when she was only four. What of it?"
"Cassandra and Rapunzel are best friends, but their friendship was strained when Zhan Tiri manipulated your sister into stealing the moon magic. Cassandra had many insecurities about being overshadowed by her best friend, and it got worse when she found out her biological mother abandoned her for Rapunzel. They worked together to finally defeat Zhan Tiri; the demoness was banished to some dimension before the Fallen Angel finally dragged her to Hell and permanently banned her from ever leaving it."

"And Cassandra?" Gothy pressed on. "What happened that made her think she was dangerous?"

"The way some clichés are revoked by the cruelties of real life." Beetlejuice shrugged. "Cassandra left to redeem herself and find her own destiny, so she never attended Rapunzel's wedding. When…" He shuddered again. "When the other land was created, Rapunzel invited Cassandra to come back, especially since she wanted her to be there when she had to be in labor. Cassandra wanted to go back, but something happened."

Gothy looked at the picture. Specifically, she looked at the blue patch of hair Cassandra had in the picture. "The lunar powers came back. Didn't they?"

"Points to you, kid. Cassandra was scared about accidentally damaging her old home, so she came to these lands. Lydia and I met her while we were building the foundations of Macabretown with our friends. We were good friends, but she declined staying here. A few days after we got this picture taken, she told us she'd be going further east to stay away from anyone she could potentially harm."

"Did she ever say where she was thinking of going?"

"I don't know, kid. Most likely somewhere that ain't one of the massive cities in the east. But if you're really desperate to find Cassandra, I got to convince Lyds to tone down Beats' punishment. The riddled address obliges you to be escorted to the next location by her."

"Now it makes sense. Cassandra was friends with you and Lydia, so it would make sense that one of the clues would lead here… Wait. Did Cassandra ever meet Crystal's dad?"

"The old cranky owl?" Beetlejuice laughed. "We was still whining about how his crush rejected him. One of our friends wished him to bring dwarves to help construct the town and Cassandra yanked a cauldron of burning cider at his face when he said something repulsive! But seriously, don't ask what he said until you're old enough to watch adult animation!"

Meanwhile

While Gothy was talking to Beetlejuice in his office, Crystal was in the bathroom, and Lydia was showing Audrey around her photography galleries, Lydia went through the garage to take out the trash. Once she put the lid over the bins, she didn't flinch when she felt a presence making it's way though the open door.

"Are you ready to talk?" She turned to casually ask the Bloody Bambi. The animal hissed and spat like a cat trying to cough out a fur ball. Its sharp toothy mouth twisted to form a massive, non-animal and inhuman smile.

"Nice to see you too, Beatrice. I apologize again for devouring your mother's roses, but you know me. I fancy bleeding flesh," the demon's voice spoke through the twisted smile.

"How the mighty keep surprising me." Beatrice chuckled. "It's always an entertainment when you visit Macabretown in person, but seeing you in Macabretown as a mere manifestation?"

"Do you like it? I reanimated a stag corpse that I found rotting in the sun…"

"Does Audrey know?" Beatrice quietly asked.

"That her summoned demon is observing her through the manifestation of a creepy stag that she treats with such gentle touches? No."

"Have you manifested in her subconscious?"

"While maintaining my red colors while also keeping my features unrecognizable so only my smile stands out."

"But she knows of your presence."

"Yes."

"I don't really get involved with demonic contracts, but you've never had a client in your afterlife, so I'm curious. What are your intentions with Audrey?"

The Bloody Bambi tilted its head. "Are you worried that I'd do something terrible?"

"'Terrible' isn't exactly enough to describe your usual chaos in Hell." Beatrice continued to talk as if she were having a phone call with a friend rather than chatting with a demon who was using an animal's mouth as a telephone. "And Audrey isn't exactly like the townsfolk of Macabretown. Everybody here knows you. You and my family are friends. I always love your visits…"

"Thank you, my dear."

"And here we are to the point where I find out that not only did you use a rather obvious fashion to move your manifestation around, but you were summoned by an ex-princess. Audrey's very different, I can tell, but I don't know enough about what makes her different from the other princesses I've met in my life that could keep you interested."

"To put it simply, my friend, my Queen of Mean has many layers of possibilities. Many of them also come with great powers. You of all the hybrids should know that when somebody comes with great power, it can't simply be hidden in the shadowy shelves of insecurities. The individual must see how they can use it to challenge order and create chaos!" The demon's voice sighed through the Bloody Bambi. "You and I both know that once you lead the group to the next clue, they'll be directed towards a particular route to Cassandra Gothel. And at one point, they'll have to make a specific spot for a specific time to face their biggest temptations." The animal pointed its hoof at its chest. "I'll be waiting and prepared with a massive list of propositions for potential terms in the contract I must create with my Queen of Mean."

"And I'm guessing you want my help." Beatrice smirked.

"My Queen of Mean has defended you twice. Clearly she's developing a soft spot for you. The offspring of the Goblin King and Mother Gothel helped her enough with the basics of her powers and after being untethered to Auradon, my Queen of Mean will be seeking to wildly evolve and be free. I need you to encourage her on how to appreciate using her powers for chaotic entertainment. Give her a need to dominate others, to challenge powerful figures, and to use her powers more often. When she comes to me, I do not want some weakling who makes our game too easy."

"Oh, because the longer she plays along in resisting to sign a contract with you, the more entertaining things get when you both come with high terms and finally sign the contract?" Beatrice nodded. "I can work with that…"

"I knew you would."

"But I won't forgive you if Audrey gets hurt." Beatrice frowned. "Physically and emotionally."

"Beatrice, you know fully well that a demon cannot harm his mortal client unless the client is dead. I was dangerously close to watching her die barely a day after she summoned me. I WILL NOT tarnish my reputation for failing my first mortal client."

"Of course." Beatrice rolled her eyes. She briefly looked back at the door when she thought she heard somebody walking by. "Listen, I'll do what I can, but…" Beatrice paused when she saw the Bloody Bambi chewing through the grass by the drive-through. When it lifted its head up and gave Beatrice a random, animal glance as if to ask her what she was looking at, it became clear to her that the demon had hung up. The twisted smile was gone.

"Great." Beatrice shrugged as she went back inside. "Seriously. How long will it take for Audrey to realize he's nearby?"